Onnafied
by Miyanon
Summary: After a semi-evil scheme is cooked up in the Otherworld, Goku is turned into a girl! But for what motives? That's exactly what Vegeta's going to find out.
1. The devilish angelic evil scheme

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
****  
  
One fine day in the golden place that is called the Otherworld, two dead souls separate from their own kind to meet each other in private. One had to pass a poker game in hell, the other made up an excuse to leave the heavenly host practice choir early. As they slink away from their peers, they head in the direction of King Enma's palace, the only place where all souls are equal. One was already waiting for nearly half an hour in the shadow cast by the enormous building, killing time by drawing on the ground with his pitchfork. He suddenly feels a warm, pleasant breeze and looks up, seeing a white robed, winged angel in front of him.  
  
He reverts his gaze back down again putting a last detail to his intricate design and says calmly, "You're late Bardock." However his lashing tail reveals his irritation.  
  
Bardock smirks, "Sorry Beets, it's really hard to get away when you're the lead of the band," brandishing the shiny, red and white electric guitar at his side.  
  
The devil frowns, "I thought angels were suppose to have harps. And don't call me Beets. It's Bejita! Or better yet King Bejita!"  
  
The other only laughs, "You may have been royalty in life but I outrank you here."  
  
Bejita humphs and taps the drawing with his pitchfork. The lines turn fuchsia and flash, and then a brand new crystal ball appears in front of them. He picks it up and asks, "So how's heaven nowadays?"  
  
Bardock settles down on the ground next to him and says, "Perfect... Perfectly BORING. I can't stand it up there, nothing ever happens. How's hell?"  
  
The former king says simply, "I'm missing a card game. Let's quit the chit chat and get on with this." He rubs the ball and mutters an incantation. Then it elevates from his hand and comes to life. "So who are we going to see first?"  
  
The angel replies, "How 'bout mine, you went first last time." Bejita merely nods and waves a hand over the ball, causing it project an image inside of it. As they peer inside, they can see that it's storming, and two figures are currently clashing with each other, doing a basic spar as far as they could make out.  
  
Bejita's face lights up and he smiles, "Lucky me, they're both together."  
  
Bardock pouts, "That's not fair! I still get to go first next time."  
  
"Too bad, you should have let me go first." Bardock scowls and crosses his arms, but then watches the ball and a proud smile replaces his juvenile pout, "My son's still stronger than yours."  
  
Bejita protests, "No he's not! They're even now!" But his statement is immediately disproved when the taller saiyajin throws his opponent down at the ground, rendering him unconscious.  
  
The angel sighs, "Well, Kakarot wins again. Same old thing every time. Continue if you want, my excuse is going to last me another three hours of spare time." And with a flick of his wrist, a laptop appears out of nowhere and lands right onto his lap.  
  
Bejita narrows his eyes, "Don't tell me you're hacking into the forbidden files again."  
  
Bardock says, "Of course I am. Maybe if I'm lucky enough they'll catch me and send me on duty in hell for a couple thousand years or so."  
  
The devil shrugs, stretching out his own set of wings (which resemble a dragon's) a bit, "I don't know, you're such a genius with computers. I don't think they ever will catch you."  
  
Bardock just ignores him and smiles, "Ah ha! Here we go. Chuquita's stuff."  
  
Bejita's eyes widen, "Good Kami! You're going into that! Those are the most dangerous files in the whole section!"  
  
"Which is why I want to see what it is."  
  
"It's sealed off for a reason you know! And if they actually do catch you, you definitely won't only be getting a mere thousand years in hell! I wouldn't be surprised if they stripped you of your wings for good!"  
  
At this the angel simply replies, "It's very lonely being the only saiyajin up in heaven." So Bejita decides to give up the argument. Bardock's eyes widen as he reads the files, "Holy cow! This is amazing!" And he bursts into fits of genuine laughter.  
  
Bejita eyes him strangely, and he feels his curiosity beginning to tickle his mind. "What the heck is so funny?"  
  
Bardock stifles his chuckles and answers, "This stuff isn't _dangerous_! It's hilarious! They're just stories! Really, really funny stories." Then he eyes burrow into a frown as he continues to read, "Although slightly disturbing at times." He scrolls down and reads on, then bursts into even more laughter. "Oh my GA-OD!"  
  
This time Bejita is really starting to fidget, "Do you mind telling?"  
  
The angel spins the laptop on his lap to face him and says, "Look at this," pointing at a particular section of the page.  
  
Bejita narrows his eyes and frowns, "Veggillina? Who's Veggillina?"  
  
Bardock smirks, "That would be your son... as an onna."  
  
"WHAT?!!"  
  
His companion smirks and spins the laptop back towards him, "Yeah, turns out this_Chuquita_is some sort of sorceress and changed your son into an onna. And it gets better." Bejita moans, not really wanting to know. Before he can protest, Bardock continues, "Veggillina proposed to my son."  
  
"Oh Kami."  
  
Seeing his companion's expression of pure horror, Bardock once again bursts into laughter, "Ha HA!! You should see the look on your face!" But his laughter fades as he sees the king's face slowly break into a huge grin. Bardock laughs weakly, "He he.why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
Bejita answers, "You wouldn't believe it, but that sorceress actually gave me an idea!"  
  
Bardock narrows his eyes, "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Think of it, what if we actually got our kids together!"  
  
".....What?"  
  
"Just look at the possibilities! They can start the race all over once again! Think of them as the Adam and Eve of the new saiyajin race! What do you think?"  
  
Bardock says crossly, "I'm starting to see why that stuff was in the forbidden section."  
  
Bejita slaps him on the back and says, "Hey, lighten up! Come on, you can't say you don't like the idea."  
  
"Yes, I can."  
  
The king smiles at him craftily, "But you were laughing at the idea earlier, weren't you? Right?"  
  
A small smile forms on the angel's lips, but it quickly disappears. "You do know one of them has to be a girl right?"  
  
The realization leaves the king slightly speechless, but he gets over it. "Well I can turn your son into a girl. No problem."  
  
Bardock yelps, "MY son?! Why MY son?!"  
  
"Did Veggillina succeed when he. uh she proposed to Kakarot?"  
  
The other says uneasily, "No." not liking where the conversation is heading, and how peppy his devil friend is since getting this "great" idea.  
  
"That's why it should be your son! Every ninjin on that planet adores him as a guy. Imagine if he was a she, not to mention the only female saiyajin left in the universe. Very tempting for the last male saiyajin left in the universe, neh?"  
  
Bardock scowls, "No way, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to convince me otherwise."  
  
Bejita frowns in thought, then says craftily, "But you aren't going to deprive me of my only son, are you? You have two sons! Can't you just at least use one of them for the recreation of our race?"  
  
The angel shakes his head, "No," and turns away, crossing his arms.  
  
His companion glares at him, but then he sighs, "Alright. Be that way. It's probably a doomed plan from the start. Especially since the gods are going to catch us in the act. And we'd be getting into major trouble." Bardock slowly turns around and looks at Bejita strangely, so the king continues, "You'd be stripped of your wings for sure. Banished to hell with the rest of us for all of eternity."  
  
Bardock asks, "You're sure they're going to catch us."  
  
Bejita scoffs, "Of course! For crying out loud, we're turning the strongest man in the universe into a freakin' onna! How can they not find out?!"  
  
The other frowns, "Then why are you even bothering? If they're going to catch us, why do you even want to do this?"  
  
The devil smiles craftily, "That's where my genius comes into play. We'll create a spell so complex that neither heaven nor heaven will be able to figure it out."  
  
"How?"  
  
"By mixing heaven and hell! You have access to all the holy sutras, and I can get a hold of some black magic books, it'll be perfect! Even better, is that heaven won't be able to figure it out by itself, not without help from the demons of hell. And they're too snooty and proud to do that. They'd probably keep your son a girl for eternity, before they resorted to THAT." The angel smiles, knowing how true the former king actually is. Bejita continues, "And even if they do ask for help. Who the devil is going to help those angels with their almighty, 'holier-than-thou' attitudes?" By now Bardock is laughing. Bejita smiles, "And I betcha half of hell would love to see Kakarot as an onna. Heck, even your son, Raditsu, would get a kick out of it."  
  
Bardock chuckles, wiping away his teary eyes, "Oh man, that's great Beets. But does it really have to be my son?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
****  
  
Nearly a month later, Goku and Vegeta are once again finishing off another spar and resting under the shade of a humungous, oak tree. Goku puts his hands behind his head and lies down on the soft grass next to his sparring partner. Attempting to start a conversation, he asks, "So Vegeta, what did you think of the spar today?"  
  
The smaller saiyajin says gruffly, "What do you care? You beat me again," resentment very apparent in his tone.  
  
Goku shrugs, "I dunno. You just seem to analyze this stuff more than I do."  
  
Vegeta glares at the other saiyajin, knowing this very well isn't true, then he sighs, "All right. You wanna know what I think? To be perfectly frank, I don't think we're going anywhere. It's like we've reached a plateau and can't get any stronger."  
  
Goku raises his eyebrows in surprise, "Wow, really? I've been feeling exactly the same way." He sits up and says, "It seems like.like I need a new challenge. Not just the same old boring spar everyday."  
  
The ouji says in amusement, "So what do you suggest we do?"  
  
The larger saiyajin says excitedly, "Let's go off-planet and train!"  
  
Vegeta burrows his eyebrows slightly, taking it into consideration, "Off planet?....Well, why not? It's been getting pretty boring around here."  
  
Goku beams, "So you'll go with me?"  
  
"Of course I am! Bulma doesn't have two spaceships you know!"  
  
His companion smiles, "Cool! When should we leave?"  
  
The other says calmly, "I'll convince Bulma to let us go tomorrow.And quit bouncing around like that or I'll change my mind!"  
  
Goku stops cheering immediately, but doesn't wipe the smile off of his face, "I'm going to go home right away to pack!"  
  
Vegeta smirks, "Have fun breaking this to your screechy mate. And don't forget to be at Capsule Corps by dawn!"  
  
Goku smiles, "I won't," and teleports back to his place.  
  
Vegeta smiles and mutters, "Baka," before flying in the direction of his home.  
  
****  
  
Bardock looks around him as he flies towards King Enma's palace, making sure that no one can see him. He hurries on and sees Bejita is already there waiting for him. He lands and whispers to his fellow conspirer, "We're going to have to do this quick. The angels are already suspicious."  
  
Bejita nods, "I have the model all ready Dockers," and presents it to him.  
  
Bardock takes one look at the tiny clay figure in his hand before nearly gagging, "What the hell are you trying to pull?!"  
  
His friend blinks, "What? What did I do?"  
  
Bardock demands, "Are you trying to make my son look like a freakin' seductress?!"  
  
The king frowns, looking at his model, "I don't see anything wrong with it."  
  
The angel protests, "It's too curvy! Look at that!" He points to her bosom, "Those things are as big as watermelons!"  
  
"So?"  
  
Bardock moans, "Oh Kami," covering a hand over his red face. He points to it and says, "I have a better idea." The model instantly changes under his eye. Changes, which don't seem to please the devil very well.  
  
He protests, "Bardock! I spent a lot of time on that! Now she looks too plain!"  
  
The angel says smugly, "I think it looks fine."  
  
Bejita growls, "Oh no you don't!" and zaps the model back to its former stature, but Bardock only zaps it back. Soon the two are in a frenzied zapping war, until they finally both zap that model at the same time, creating a strange magic hybrid shield around it. Bejita glares, "This is your fault Bardock."  
  
"No it's not!"  
  
The bright light shimmers around the model, but it slowly fades revealing the final product. A young looking girl with a cheerful smile and equally bright eyes. She also has shoulder length ebony hair and a slim willowy frame. Her breasts are still rather big, but her waist isn't too slim so it seems proportional. Overall the model looks like the careful delicate work crafted for years by the finest artisans. In other words it's a total fluke.  
  
After much viewing and reviewing of the model, Bejita says, "Well, it's not too bad."  
  
Bardock nods his head, "Nope, not bad at all."  
  
His friend replies, "So we'll use that. Any adjustments that we need to make with the incantations?"  
  
The angel frowns, looking over the sutras he brought with him, "Well, just how strong are we going to make her?"  
  
Bejita answers, "Definitely weaker than my son."  
  
Bardock demands, "What?! Why?!"  
  
The former king says, "Well I don't think my son would take kindly to an onna being able to beat him. Besides she doesn't have to be as weak as a ninjin, just a little more than Vegeta."  
  
Bardock frowns, "All right, but I need to make some adjustments with your incantations too." Bejita hands him a copy of the black magic book, and allows him to proceed to scratch out, mark, and change any part of it, and the angel's own sutras. He asks, "So what about her mind? That's going to be a bit tricky."  
  
Bejita sighs, "Well she has to keep her personality and memories of course, but her psyche must be the same as an onna's. We can't have her still attracted to girls."  
  
Bardock sighs and changes even more on the sutras and the black magic copy. "Well, that just added about three extra hours. We both agreed on her being just slightly taller than the ouji right?" The king nods, and Bardock says with satisfaction, "I guess that's it. We better get started," and he assumes a meditating position, getting ready to chant.  
  
The devil asks, "Exactly how long is this going to take?"  
  
"We should finish at about morning."  
  
****  
  
Goku fidgets in his sleep, still not able to sleep well. Possibly it's from the guilt ChiChi laid on him for leaving right away without at least three- days notice. But it's more likely from the couch ChiChi made him sleep on. He looks up at the clock groggily, seeing it read 3:16 a.m. Maybe Vegeta wouldn't mind if he came a little early.  
  
He pulls the blanket off him and goes around in the pitch black of the night, performing his usual morning tasks. Combing his hair, brushing his teeth, and eating several boxes worth of cold cereal. Still half-asleep he performs everything automatically, not really noticing anything going on around him. He's about to change at one point, but he remembers that he changed into his traveling clothes the night before so that he would have time to do other things. When everything's finally did and done, he goes upstairs into the bedroom and gives his wife a kiss on the forehead.  
  
Then he grabs his bags and teleports over to Capsule Corps. By the time he arrives, it's 4:01 a.m. He drops his bags onto the floor and goes up to Vegeta's bedroom to see if he was awake. As he opens the door, he sees the ouji still sleeping like a baby. Meanwhile the sun is just peeking over the horizon. Goku smiles, thinking about how cute Vegeta looks when he's asleep. He blinks, 'Where did that come from?'  
  
Deciding it's going to be a while until he wakes up, he goes down to the kitchen to make himself some eggs.  
  
****  
  
Vegeta's alarm clock gives off a pleasant sounding crunch when he throws it against the wall. He bellows, "You stupid contraption! You were supposed to wake me up an hour ago! Kakarot's probably already been here for hours, laughing at me." He curse incoherently as his suspicions are confirmed when the smell of cooking wafts into the room. Only Kakarot would be up at five in the morning, making breakfast. He stomps down to the kitchen and yells, "Kakarot! Get out of my kitchen!" just as he opens up the door.  
  
However, he doesn't fine the orange and blue gied man he was expecting, but an orange and blue gied onna at the stove, making scrambled eggs. Not only that but a very hot onna, too. Irrationally he wonders wherther he's in the right kitchen or not.  
  
The girl smiles, "Hey Veggie, good to see you're awake." She pauses, frowning as if she's analyzing her own voice. But Vegeta is just as confused as hell. How did she know his name? Then he realizes it. It must be a dream! A really wacked up dream at that. A beautiful onna, dressed up like Kakarot, cooking breakfast in his kitchen. Sounds surreal enough. The girl asks, "Um.can I help you with something?" a tinge of uneasiness in her voice, seeing the way the ouji is staring at her.  
  
Vegeta smirks and grabs her, putting an arm around her waist. He says slyly, "I think I can help myself," before drawing her into a lustful kiss. Well, it shouldn't hurt. It's only a dream, right?  
  
The onna struggles and punches him upside the head, sending Vegeta flying into the kitchen wall. She screams at the top of her lungs, "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?!"  
  
However, Vegeta just stares at her blankly, while readjusting his jaw, "Holy crap, that hurt!" He pauses then his eyes widen in shock, "Holy crap! You're REAL!"  
  
The girl yells, "Of course I'm real! Whatever made you think I'm not?!"  
  
The saiyajin demands, "Well what am I supposed to think when some strange onna appears in my kitchen without sounding off any of the burglar alarms?!..... How the hell did you get in here anyway?!"  
  
She just stares at him, "Strange onna? What are you talking about?" Her head swivels as she takes a quick look around the room, "I don't see anybody else here."  
  
Vegeta scowls, "I meant you, baka!"  
  
The girl protests, "But you know me!"  
  
The ouji frowns as he studies her face, "You know, you're right. I think I have seen you somewhere before. Wait, what's your name?"  
  
She says in exasperation, "Oh for crying out loud! It's me! Goku!"  
  
Vegeta yelps, "WHAT?!" nearly falling over in shock.  
  
Goku scowls and grabs his arm, "Will you quit playing games, Vedge! I thought we were supposed to leave an hour ago!"  
  
He looks at her in amazement and utter horror, "Oh Kami, it IS you!... I KISSED you!!" He starts to gag and clutches at his throat, "Oh my god! I can't believe I just kissed Kakarot!" Goku sweatdrops as he overdramatically falls to the floor wailing about how the poison was getting into his bloodstream. "No! I'm going to die! I don't wanna die!"  
  
Goku glares at him, and says dryly, "Thanks a lot. But I want to know why you decided to do it in the first place."  
  
The ouji scowls, "You're just as daft as ever, Bakarot! Just look at yourself!"  
  
She frowns, "I don't see what's so." She pauses when she looks down at her chest, "..uh, Vegeta?"  
  
Vegeta narrows his eyes, "Yes, Kakarot. Those are what you think they are."  
  
Goku pales and says meekly, "Veggie...can you please tell me where your bathroom is?" The ouji points down the hall and she hastily rushes over in that direction. Vegeta quickly plugs up his ears right before a horrified, ear-splitting scream echoes throughout the entire Capsule Corps complex.  
  
Back in the Otherworld, Bejita smiles, "Well she definitely screams like a girl," looking into the crystal ball.  
  
Bardock covers his red face and moans, "I can't believe he kissed her."  
  
His friend replies, "But that's what we want," he adds with a mischievious tone, "and much more than that too."  
  
The angel mutters, "I still think I'm going to be sick. We need to head back soon. The others will be missing us."  
  
Bejita nods, "Right. I'll see you later," and with a wave of his pitchfork, the crystal ball vaporizes into thin air.  
  
**** 


	2. A new alias and starving kings

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
****  
  
Vegeta cautiously opens the door to the bathroom door and peers in, seeing Goku sitting on her knees on the ground looking at the ceiling with a helpless, lost look in her eyes. She hears the door creak and without turning her head, she says, "What happened to me?"  
  
"I don't know Kakarot."  
  
Goku gets up shakily and says, "I was fine yesterday. But now it's just.." She leans on the sink and takes a better look at herself, "When did this happen? HOW did this happen?"  
  
The ouji avoids eye-contact with any part of her body and says, "Maybe it's a joke."  
  
Goku yells, "A JOKE?" She pulls her shirt up and forces Vegeta to look at it, "DO YOU CALL THIS A JOKE?!"  
  
Vegeta shrieks and squeezes his eyes closed as tight as he can. Then he yells, "KAKAROT! DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!"  
  
She puts her shirt back down and blushes furiously, "Sorry. I'm just a little frustrated."  
  
"FRUSTRATED?! NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T FLASH EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM WHEN THEY'RE FRUSTRATED!"  
  
Goku retaliates by yelling, "AND NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T TURN INTO THE OPPOSITE SEX OVERNIGHT EITHER!"  
  
Vegeta's eyes widen, "You just yelled at me. You NEVER yell at me!"  
  
Goku trembles, putting a hand to her head, "You're right. What's wrong with me?! Vegeta! I don't like this! I don't like it at all!"  
  
The ouji grabs her wrists and says, "Just calm down Kakarot. Calm down, and maybe we can sort this out. Did you notice anything during the night?"  
  
The onnafied saiyajin nods, "Yeah, I couldn't sleep that well for some reason. That's why I came here early. I thought it was just because I was sleeping on the couch."  
  
Vegeta frowns, "And did anyone see you this morning?"  
  
"No, everybody was still asleep. They said good-bye the night before because I was leaving early to go on the trip with you."  
  
The saiyajin narrows his eyes, "So no one saw you. That's convenient. TOO convenient."  
  
Goku says, "I thought it was just a coincidence."  
  
"In situations like these, you can never account anything to be a coincident." Vegeta leads Goku over to the living room and seats her down on the couch, while he takes the opposing loveseat. Tapping his fingers together he says, "Well, we know it can't be the dragonballs. They aren't active until next month. It's more likely you have a disease or a spell was put onto you."  
  
The girl frowns, "I don't think it's a disease, Veggie. There's absolutely nothing that suggested I was sick. And I've never heard of anything that changes your body's anatomy."  
  
"Spell it is then. Who do we know is capable of such a thing?"  
  
Goku shrugs, "Well everybody I know is dead." She pauses, "Dead? Vegeta, do you think this may have anything to do with the Otherworld?"  
  
Vegeta mutters, "Yeah, the gods are mocking me."  
  
"What was that?"  
  
The ouji lies, "Nothing!"  
  
Goku isn't too convinced so she asks, "Veggie, you never told me why you kissed me."  
  
Blushing slightly, Vegeta says, "Well, I thought you weren't real and.Why do you want to know anyway?!"  
  
"You KISSED me."  
  
He attempts to change the subject, "So why don't you talk to your King Kai and ask him if he knows anything about it?"  
  
Goku eyes Vegeta suspiciously, but says, "Well it seems that we're going to be going off planet anyway. Grab hold of me." Vegeta takes her hand and she puts two fingers to her forehead. In a millisecond, they blink out of sight.  
  
****  
  
At once the two saiyajins find themselves on Grand Kai's planet surrounded by the greatest fighters the universe has ever seen. And as soon as Goku sets foot on the planet, all of them give her more than obvious looks. After all, it wasn't everyday that a cute girl came to the great fighting master's planet.  
  
One of them bravely saunters up to the two saiyajins, and ignoring the ouji, he smiles at Goku, "Hey cutie. So what are you doing in this part of the Otherworld? Been doing some good deeds lately?"  
  
The saiyajin smiles, "Yeah, I think so," completely oblivious to the fighter's motive. He links his muscled arm to her slender one and smirks, "I know another good deed that you can do just for me." Goku's eyes widen in disbelief once she finally sees what he's getting at.  
  
By now the ouji beside her had seen enough. Besides, he doesn't enjoy being ignored. The ouji pulls him off of Goku and growls, "Hands off. She's with me. Come on, Kakarot."  
  
Goku allows herself to be pulled away from him and they slowly walk away from the group. However, she frowns, "Vegeta, I can handle myself!"  
  
Vegeta replies, "But you doing it yourself isn't going to stop them from hitting on you."  
  
She frowns, but decides that he's probably right, seeing how none of the other fighters were approaching her now, with the ouji right beside her. "Whatever, Veggie. You can let go of me now."  
  
Vegeta didn't seem to realize that he was still holding her hand. He blushes and lets go, "Right, sorry."  
  
Goku blinks, "Sorry?"  
  
Not much more is said between them after that. Even though Goku has mild protection with Vegeta's presence, the other dead souls all smile and comment Goku as she passes by, and she smiles shyly back. Soon she stops smiling all together, not enjoying the amount of attention she's getting, and even begins to slowly shrink behind Vegeta's form. By the time they reach Grand Kai's palace, Goku seems to be in a state of withdrawal, skulking behind Vegeta, who seems to be the only man who isn't making catcalls at her. The ouji notices her behavior, but chooses not to acknowledge it. Instead he looks for King Kai in front of the palace, and finds him next to a shiny, blue convertible, admiring it.  
  
Vegeta says gruffly, "Are you the one they call North Kai?"  
  
King Kai freezes up and says in shock, "I know that voice." He slowly turns around and shrieks, "ACK! It's you! Vegeta! What are you doing here?! How did you get here?!"  
  
Vegeta smirks, "I came with Kakarot."  
  
The blue master looks around and asks, "Goku brought you? Well, where is he? I don't see him."  
  
Goku peeks out from behind the other saiyajin and says meekly, "I'm right here, King Kai."  
  
King Kai yelps, "Goku?! Son Goku, is that really you?! What in the world happened to you?!"  
  
She replies, "I was hoping that you could tell me."  
  
Vegeta adds, "We suspect foul play in the land of the dead here."  
  
Her former teacher frowns, rubbing his almost non-existent chin, "Foul play huh? So who do you suspect a duck or a chicken?" He suddenly bursts into laughter at his own statement, "Ha HA! Fowl play, get it?! Oh Kami! I crack myself up sometimes!"  
  
The two saiyajins sweatdrop and Vegeta mutters, "I think he's already cracked." Goku nods her head slowly.  
  
King Kai controls his laughter and says, "Well, I suppose it isn't funny for you in your situation. So, on a more serious note, I haven't seen anything myself, but I have overheard that there's a little inside turmoil in heaven, or more specifically the angels' sector. Seems some of their holy sutras went missing for a while, but they just got them back this morning."  
  
Goku says excitedly, "But I found out I was turned into a girl this morning!"  
  
King Kai raises his eyebrows in surprise, "Well, I'd say that's too coincidental to be a coincident. But I don't get it. What would the angels have against you?"  
  
The female saiyajin frowns, "I have no idea. Even in all my time up here I only managed to meet a couple of them. But I did think that they were a bit snooty to me, considering I saved the Earth several times."  
  
Vegeta frowns, not liking to be out of the loop of things, "What's the difference between the angels and fighters anyway?"  
  
King Kai shrugs, "Not much. They both did good deeds in their lives, but angels are carefully selected so that they can represent the gods and perform very important heavenly duties such as playing messenger for the gods or being guardian angels."  
  
The ouji looks at Goku and says, "So you weren't selected because..."  
  
Goku says flatly, "They didn't think I was smart enough." At this Vegeta bursts into laughter, and his companion glares at him, looking very cross indeed.  
  
King Kai shrugs, "Don't worry about it, Goku. The head angels aren't very renowned for making good selections. Half of the angels there are forced to be in their special league. Anyway, I think you have a legitimate case here. The Otherworld, especially heaven isn't supposed to interfere in the lives of the living. I'll go talk to the other gods and see what they make of this. Then they'll see if they can get you back to normal."  
  
Vegeta looks at King Kai in disappointment, not finding him to be the instant cure to his companion's problem. However, Goku smiles brightly and pulls King Kai into a hug, "Oh thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me!"  
  
Her victim slowly starts to turn purple from lack of oxygen, "Goku...let go...can't breathe..."  
  
Goku quickly drops him and says apologetically, "Oh, I'm sorry King Kai. I didn't mean to."  
  
King Kai flattens down his clothes and mutters, "Some gratitude. I offer to help you with your problem and you end up almost choking me to death!"  
  
Goku blinks, "But King Kai, you're already dead."  
  
He yells, "That's not the point!"  
  
Vegeta just watches everything with an air of amusement. Then Goku grabs his arm and says, "Thanks again, King Kai! Bye!" and she teleports the two out of there.  
  
King Kai shakes his head, "Still the same old Goku," and he goes off in search of his superiors.  
  
****  
  
Vegeta shrugs Goku off of him once they reach Capsule Corps' living room. He says crossly, "Well that was productive."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"I was being sarcastic you baka."  
  
"Oh."  
  
The ouji begins to pace the room and mutters to himself, "What the hell are we going to do about you?"  
  
Goku frowns, "King Kai said they'd change me back."  
  
Vegeta yells, "Well you're not back to normal now are you?! How do we explain this to your baka friends?! Do you even want them to know?! And who knows how long you're going to stay like this!"  
  
Goku puts up her hands and says, "Calm down, Veggie. Just take it easy. I can lay low for a while. My family thinks that I'm going with you off planet. In a month the dragonballs will be ready, and if I'm not changed back by then, we'll use those."  
  
The other saiyajin narrows his eyes, "I don't know if that's going to-"  
  
"Vegeta! Why haven't you left yet?!" Vegeta stiffens as Bulma enters the room still dressed in her pajamas and a night robe. She looks at the beautiful girl in her room suspiciously, "Who is this?"  
  
The referred saiyajin looks at the ouji nervously, but he just sighs, "For Kami's sake, just tell her who you are or she'll think I'm cheating on her."  
  
Goku scratches the back of her head and says uneasily, "Well, you have to promise not to tell ChiChi."  
  
Bulma frowns, "ChiChi? How do you know ChiChi? And what does she have to-" Her eyes widen as she takes a better look at the girl in front of her. The same clothes, the same eyes, even the same nervous expression. "Oh my god. I don't believe it, Goku?!" The saiyajin nods and Bulma says in disbelief, "I think I'm still asleep."  
  
Goku yelps, "No! No, you're not!"  
  
The blue haired scientist sits down on the couch in a state of shock, "B- but HOW did this happen?!"  
  
The other girl answers, "Well apparently some angels have a grudge against me." Vegeta purses his lips, not totally convinced, but he decides not to comment. "Anyway, I don't want anybody else to know about me, not even ChiChi... Make that especially not ChiChi. I don't think she'll be able to look at me the same way again."  
  
Vegeta smirks, "That shows how much faith you have in her."  
  
Bulma sends him a glare and turns back to Goku, "Are you-"  
  
"I'm dead sure."  
  
Bulma sighs, "Well I guess we'll have to create an alias for you. Let me think." She places her head in her hands, trying to come up with a good cover, "You're a visiting cousin from overseas-"  
  
Goku asks, "Which country?"  
  
"The country doesn't matter; anyway you'll be staying with me for... Do you know how long this is going to last?"  
  
The female saiyajin answers, "If the gods of the Otherworld don't change me back by the next month, I'm going to use the dragonballs to change me back."  
  
Bulma continues, "So you'll be staying for a month. And your name is-"  
  
"Kayka." The two onnas' heads turn to see Vegeta had just spoken. The ouji frowns, "What? I think it's a suitable name for Kakarot."  
  
Goku says suspiciously, "It isn't saiyago for baka is it?"  
  
Vegeta smirks, "And what if Kakarot is?"  
  
Bulma says, "Kayka it is then. And meanwhile Goku is off on his space training, which Vegeta doesn't participate in because."  
  
The ouji says, "Because I decided I could never stay with Kakarot that long in solitude without going crazy."  
  
Goku sends him a warning glare, and the scientist says, "We'll have to hide your bags and the space ship for the time being. Then we'll have to get you a new wardrobe." Seeing Goku's helpless expression she argues, "You can't go on wearing your own clothes! They're too big, and people would recognize you instantly! You'll have to borrow stuff from my closet until we go shopping for you." Goku groans and sits down on the couch.  
  
Bulma orders, "Vegeta, go get Goku's bags and put them in my spare closet before the kids see them. Goku, you go with him and pick out something to wear. And don't forget to wear a bra!"  
  
Both saiyajins cringe slightly at the word, but then go on to do the jobs assigned to them. Bulma then goes outside to put the space ship into its capsule form and hide it.  
  
****  
  
In hell, the former saiyajin king is currently residing under one of the many bare, thorned trees that usually grow exclusively in the Underworld. His stomach growls from the lack of food for at least two months now. Of course that's a normal thing for him in this place. Then he feels a familiar warm breeze and looks up to see a white envelope floating down to him and landing onto his lap. Curious, he opens it and reads,  
  
'Beets, the gods are starting to investigate the missing holy sutra incident. It seems that Kakarot and Vegeta came up here to find out how my son got turned into a girl. I didn't think they'd be that quick to catch onto us. But the stupid ogres don't even suspect me! Jeez, they're talking to all the wrong people. I'm really starting to get ticked off at this. Maybe I should mess up my job today so they'll at least put an inquiry on me, put me in the loop. Did you know Vegeta decided to call Kakarot Kayka?! Kayka, of all things! Anyway, don't forget to meet me at the usual place. I put a bean in the package that will turn into three days worth of food if you put water on it. Enjoy. Sincerely, Bardock.'  
  
Bejita smirks and incinerates the letter in his hand, "Kayka, huh?" He searches in the envelope and his face lights up when he finds a golden bean inside. "All right! Food!" He looks around in search of water, and suddenly realizes he's in the middle of a desert environment, out in the middle of nowhere. Bejita yells into the sky, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"  
  
**** 


	3. Father of the bride

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will  
  
A/N: My writing does not represent my view of heaven, so I don't want anybody yelling at me for putting down angels.  
  
****  
  
Vegeta dumps Goku's bag in Bulma's second closet and comes out to see that the door to her primary one is still closed. No doubt that Goku is changing inside. He humphs and is about to leave the room, but he suddenly feels drawn back to it. He goes back and stands in front of the flimsy, wooden door. Then he starts to wonder exactly what a saiyajin girl looks like, whether they really were the same as human onnas. He's never met many female saiyajins before, even meeting his mother only briefly. And he sure as heck has never been confronted with a situation like this before... Maybe he should take a peek and see.  
  
The ouji blinks and his eyes widen as he reviews his thoughts. He screams, "ACK! What am I THINKING?! This is Kakarot we're talking about! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!" and he resorts to pounding his head against the wall, causing the dry wall to start to crack. He pauses and subconsciously his hand starts to drift towards the glass, door handle. Vegeta suddenly realizes what he's doing and goes back to banging his head against the wall, "NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOO!!!"  
  
"Veggie?"  
  
Vegeta yelps and falls over in surprise. He looks up and sees the saiyajin at the hallway door instead of the closet door. So she really wasn't in there. He mentally breathes a sigh of relief. Good, what if he had actually opened the door and she was in there? He shudders just thinking about it.  
  
"Veggie, are you alright?"  
  
He looks up again and blushes furiously, seeing Goku's whole appearance has completely changed. Instead of looking like a rambunctious little tomboy, with a skirt, a tight tank top, and high heels, Goku now looks just like any regular onna, except much prettier than the average one that you would see in the streets. In other words, Vegeta just feels the more nervous around her. He stutters slightly, "K-Kayka? A skirt?"  
  
Goku blushes, "Well Bulma doesn't wear anything else!" She pauses just remembering that he called her Kayka, but then notices that he's gone back to hitting his head against the wall. "Exactly what are you doing?"  
  
The ouji grits his teeth and answers, "Controlling urges."  
  
"What urges?"  
  
"SAIYAJIN URGES!!" (Thank you Chu.)  
  
Goku frowns, "Oookay... Say, do you know how bras work?"  
  
Feeling slightly uneasy about the discussion of such a topic, Vegeta says cautiously, "Well I help Bulma hook up the back of hers sometimes... Why?"  
  
The female saiyajin answers, "Well, I've been looking for Bulma everywhere, but I can't find her so," she turns her back to him and flips up only the back, "can you help me with this?"  
  
Vegeta takes one look at her bare, smooth back before his eyes roll up into his head and he falls to the floor in a dead faint. Goku brings the back of her shirt down and bends down to the ouji, a confused look on her face, "Jeez, he didn't even see my front side this time." She waves her hand in front of his face and snaps her fingers a couple times, only to get no response. Goku sighs, "Maybe he banged his head too many times."  
  
She picks the ouji off of the ground and gently puts him on the bed. Seeing the somewhat peaceful expression on his face, Goku smiles and softly strokes his cheek. She suddenly realizes that this is exactly what she would do with ChiChi at night. Stopping quickly, she can feel her hand trembling, so she goes off in search of the blue haired scientist.  
  
****  
  
Up in heaven, Bardock smiles when he sees Goku leave the room, partially glad that she's better at controlling her instincts than a certain ouji is. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees some movement and slaps closed his laptop. A familiar trio of angels was making their way to his favorite cherry blossom tree, looking as arrogant as ever.  
  
The head of the group, (but also the most pretty-boy), Willith, smirks at the sight of the saiyajin angel, who is constantly joked upon as a paradox in himself, or the black sheep of the saiyajin race. "Well it's the friendly neighborhood saiyajin. How are you doing this fine day?"  
  
Bardock scowls and snaps his fingers, making his laptop disappear. "I was doing well until you bunch came along. And as to the subject of this being a fine day, it's not any different from any other days, which doesn't make it any better of course. So you can't really call it a fine day now can you?"  
  
The two henchmen blink in surprise, and Willith scowls, "Are you trying to be smart?"  
  
The saiyajin replies, "I'm not trying to be smart, I am smart, which is why, along with being strong and good-looking, the head angels decided to put me into your snobbish league of pompous old fools!" He angrily gets up and turns tail on them, marching proudly over towards headquarters.  
  
His constant rival yells, "Oh yeah! Well the only thing that's keeping you here is your solitary good deed that you did in the LAST hour of your LIFE!"  
  
Bardock mutters as he goes his way, "And I'm starting to regret it too." He walks up the white marble steps of Angel Headquarters, the infamous home of the Head Angels. The massive building is such a pure shade of white; it hurts Bardock's eyes just to look at it. He swore to himself the first day he went there, he would graffiti the entire building for all the angels to see! ..He still needs to do it.  
  
He goes into the reception hall and comes up to the desk, relieved to find one of his few friends on duty there. A fuzz ball alien from the southern quadrant of the galaxy. Bardock waves, "Hey Qu'pac."  
  
The alien angel replies, "Hey Bardock, how's it hangin'?"  
  
Bardock shrugs, "Same old-same old, I guess. I'm just coming for my assignment."  
  
Qu'pac flips through a leather bound registry and says, "Well, you're late. As usual. Oh, and lucky you. You're supposed to meet the Head Angels."  
  
The saiyajin moans, "Aw crap," and hurries to the senate room.  
  
Qu'pac laughs, "You better hurry! They've been waiting for nearly half an hour!"  
  
Bardock soon leaves sight of the main hall and comes up to two huge golden doors. He knocks and they mystically open up by themselves. Trying to catch his breath, Bardock stiffens up and in a poised manner, goes to the center of the room. And a strange room it is too. Even with the holy glow to it, and the golden mist that would always make his tail go nuts after leaving, it also had a feeling of utter hopelessness of doom. Especially with all the Head Angels towering above him on silver pedestals. If everything didn't look so holy to him, Bardock would mistake it for a saiyajin interrogation room.  
  
The eldest angel booms from his tall tower, "Barudokko... (Japanese pronunciation of Bardock's name.) You're late."  
  
Bardock mutters almost grudgingly, "I apologize for my tardiness." Part of the ritual that they always perform for an angel's misdeed.  
  
A grey haired female angel announces, "You are forgiven, Bardock." And the ritual is over. She adds, "That is one more demerit point for you." A paradox of course. Although forgiven, the misdeeds are never forgotten. "Be careful, angel. Any more and you'll be set up as guardian angel for some lowlife dreg."  
  
The saiyajin angel scowls, {Jeezus, my son's more angelic than all these people put together.}  
  
An ancient purple alien says, "Of course, that can be changed. We have a special assignment for you today. If you manage to carry it out, we will consider all past demerits invalid."  
  
Bardock glares at them grudgingly, {Whoopee, I'll be part of the_elite_squad again. That was such fun.}  
  
"But if you fail, not only would you lose your_near impeccable_standing, but your head too."  
  
Bardock pales, "R-really?" He never doubted any threats from them ever since he'd seen a beheading himself about 20 years back. Poor guy's head won't reattach until 100 years from now. Needless to say he didn't really want to be mocked by Willith and his gang for a near century. They'd probably try taking his decapitated head and play football with it. Bardock shivers. That's a mental image he can go without.  
  
He asks, "Well what is this special task?"  
  
A different angel, a young female alien this time, answers, "We need you to deliver a message to the saiyajins on Earth that we will find out who has turned that fighter...uh what was his name again?"  
  
Bardock answers, "Kakarot."  
  
"Right. Tell those two fighters that came up here that we'll find the culprit who turned Kakarot into a girl, and more importantly, you have to convince them that heaven has nothing to do with this sudden change!"  
  
Another angel nods in agreement, "As the elite sector of heaven, we cannot afford to have any smears on our reputation. We would lose our standing, allowing the gods to inquire into our methods of functioning."  
  
Bardock frowns, {If the gods really could change this place maybe it's worth losing a head... Then again, maybe not.} He suddenly realizes the full extent of the task set before him, "Wait a sec. You want me to go down to Earth, retain a physical form, and tell them we have nothing to do with this?!"  
  
The eldest angel answers, "Well, yes. But you only have enough power to make yourself known to one person."  
  
The saiyajin groans. Keeping a physical form in the mortal world is one of the most painful experiences imaginable. Not to mention he would be so close to blowing the thin cover that would be keeping his so-... dau-... his child from finding out it was he who cursed her with that form. He doesn't care if the Angels find out, but Kakarot is a different story entirely. She'd never forgive him!..... Even if she did know who he was.  
  
The highest residing angel asks suspiciously, "Is there a problem with your assignment?" seeing Bardock's expression.  
  
Bardock laughs nervously, scratching the back of his head, "Nope, no problem. None at all! Consider the job done!" He quickly scurries out of the room into the corridor, before the Head Angels get even more suspicious. He moans, "Dammit! I can't show myself in front of Kakarot at all! So I'll have to show myself to Vegeta... But he knows what I look like! He'll recognize me instantly!"  
  
His tail starts to sneak up his white robe, and Bardock slaps it in annoyance, seeing it going on the fritz from the gold mist again. In retaliation it wraps around his neck and begins to choke him. Bardock yells, "Kuso! You baka tail! I don't have time for this!" He yanks it off and wraps it around his waist tying it into a knot so that it can't do anything. Watching it struggle, the saiyajin angel sighs, "Damned tails and heaven just don't mix." He pauses and suddenly smiles as a revelation dawning onto him. "Well, Vegeta may be able to recognize me as a normal saiyajin, but I bet he won't recognize me as a super saiyajin!"  
  
Bardock looks around the hall to make sure that no one is around, and then he begins chanting to himself, "Think of Frieza destroying Bejita-sei. Remember Kakarot's deaths. Remember how that Nameck killed both of your sons at once." Images begin flowing into his mind, images of his children getting killed off like vermin, and of the lizard tyrant blowing up his home planet, and it fuels his rapidly building rage. Right at his peak, his ki nearly explodes and he screams, "DAMN YOU STUPID NAMECK! LEAVE MY SONS ALONE!!!!!" and he blasts into his super saiyajin form.  
  
His teal blue eyes snap open and he suddenly realizes he just made a massive hole in the wall. Seeing he just made a huge peeping hole to the girls' lavatory, Bardock blushes and quickly gets out of there before anyone spots him. He mutters to himself, "I gotta find an easier way to transform." Sure that he is far away from the scene of the crime, Bardock stops and one hand goes up into the air, "Well, onto Earth." With a snap of his fingers a golden mist envelopes him and he is transported away to the green and blue planet, and to Capsule Corporation.  
  
Once there Bardock finds himself in Vegeta's bedroom and sees the little ouji still on the floor unconscious even though Goku left long ago. Knowing what's next Bardock braces himself, just as searing pain starts up at his legs as his body takes on a true physical form. The pain, like being pierced by white hot knives, works its way up his body right up to his very halo. After the grueling procedure the angel feels himself already worn out and his body all numb. Not willing to wait any longer Bardock smacks Vegeta over the head, causing the ouji to abruptly awaken.  
  
Vegeta sputters, "Huh? What?" He groans and sits up, rubbing his head, "Jeezus, was that all a dream?"  
  
"Nope." The ouji looks up for the source and shrieks seeing a foreign super saiyajin hovering above him. The angel waves, "Hey Veggie."  
  
Vegeta moans, "Oh Kami, I'm hallucinating."  
  
Bardock yells, "How dare you call me a figment of your imagination!" feeling very offended.  
  
Vegeta demands, "Oh yeah! How do you explain the purple elephant?!" pointing out towards the hallway.  
  
Bardock sweatdrops when he sees nothing but an empty hallway, "Okay, maybe I smacked you a_tad_too hard over the head. Anyway," the angel's voice takes on a tone of authority, "I have come to deliver a message from the heavens." At this annoying golden bugles come out of nowhere, trumpeting a holy tune. Bardock snaps, "Oh shut up!" And the bugles vanish just as fast as they came, further convincing Vegeta that he's gone mad. Bardock clears his throat before continuing, "The Head Angels have sent me to tell you that they will find the culprit of Kakarot's_henious_transformation and that-"  
  
The ouji suddenly asks, "Do I know you?"  
  
The angel replies nervously, "Can't really say-"  
  
Vegeta narrows his eyes as if Bardock was a specimen in a laboratory, carefully examining him, "Because I could have sworn I've seen your face before. And I NEVER forget a face."  
  
"Couldn't you possibly be mistaking me for Kakarot?"  
  
Vegeta shrugs, "Maybe... Except that Kayka has bigger eyes than you do and doesn't have a scar on her cheek!"  
  
Bardock's hand automatically goes to his cheek and he says, "Okay, so maybe I'm not Kakarot!" But even on the verge of getting caught, Bardock notices in his nervousness a slight change in Vegeta's vocabulary. "Did you just call Kakarot, Kayka again?" Seeing Vegeta's hesitation, Bardock at once feels his anger and his protectiveness bubbling to the surface.  
  
Vegeta pales and for some reason feels he would be safest if he was very, very far away from the angel, who right now looks ready to explode into super saiyajin 2. Bardock screams in a furious, rage, "DON'T YOU_EVER_CALL HER THAT AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR ME! NEVER!"  
  
The ouji's only intelligible words are, "Uh...um...  
  
Irrational ideas come to the angel's mind and he growls dangerously, "Now I see what's going on in that sick, twisted mind of yours, what you're calling Kakarot that name. Well you can just FORGET IT!" His aura blasts up even more, blowing away everything but the ouji, "I'LL SET ALL OF THE OTHERWORLD ON YOU, IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN!! And if you dare lay your hands on MY daughter, I WILL MAKE SURE YOU SUFFER A THOUSAND TIMES WORSE THAN THE DEVIL'S WRATH FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY!!!" Suddenly the furious angel vanishes into thin air, his physical form's energy all spent. But he leaves the room cold enough to freeze a polar bear down to its very bones.  
  
Vegeta watches the spot where the angel vanished, too shocked and freaked out to notices the dark wet stain on the front of his pants. He whimpers, "What was that?!" Another icy wind passes and a letter suddenly lands onto the ouji's lap. The poor prince just stares at it, wondering whether it's really wise to open it or not. His question is answered when it attaches itself to his face and begins burning. Vegeta yelps and rips the letter off, carefully opening the white hot envelope, before Bardock decides to do something even worse to him.  
  
He looks at the silver ink and reads, 'Bakayaro no ouji! Don't think I'm done with you yet! Before you decided to call my daughter by that horrible name, making me spend all of my energy, I was suppose to tell you that heaven has nothing to do with Kakarot's transformation. Sincerely, Anonymous. P.S. Don't you dare even look at my child funny, ouji-boy, or else this will happen to you.'  
  
BAM!! The letter explodes in Vegeta's hands, blackening his face and his gloves. The remaining charred bits float to the floor, burning into cinders. The ouji stares at it, and looks as if he's about to cry. 


	4. From love, to hate, to love again, I thi...

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will  
  
Miyanon: Well, sorry this took so long. Again my bad excuse is exams. And I want to comment on the last reviews that I got.  
  
Nene2: Well you'll find out what Kayka is, I guarantee it!..... But maybe not this chapter, sorry. And yeah, he helped try to get Vegeta and Goku together, but it's like being set up with some guy by your father, only your father finds out that this guy has some ulterior motives. Believe me, it's happened. It's not the funnest thing in the world.  
  
xing@fanfiction.net: Wow, how did you manage to review this same chapter 3... no 5 times?! If it really is all you, I'm impressed and flattered! Vegeta's going to have to "prove" himself to Bardock? Well, I haven't thought about it that way before! Another thing, even with Vegeta "noticing" Goku's a girl, doesn't mean he's just going to leap at her right away. Ya gotta give the ouji a little credit for self control. But anyway thanks for all the reviews!  
  
Chuquita: He he, yeah poor Veggie. I keep seeing that a lot in the reviews. I'm so glad that you like this story, since I did loosely base it off your style. And I read your whole comic off of mediaminer. It was so funny; I saved it all on my comp! Sorry, I couldn't really review it. Thanks for the review! You're the best!  
  
MiraisGirl87: Yep, definitely a daddy's girl! Too bad that she doesn't know it. I wondered what it would be like if I experimented with Bardock being an overprotective father, and it seems like a lot of people like it, ne?  
  
Yami Shinigami: Thanks for the review. Like I said to nene2 and to all the other people wondering, you will find out what it means.  
  
Rissa of the Saiya-Jin: Actually I realize that a lot of this stuff is borrowed from Chu. Maybe I should have mentioned it before, but I kind of based it off of her Kayka from her story, "Just Like ME!" I even asked permission to borrow her, but if Chu doesn't remember that then uh... *sweatdrop* nevermind. I absolutely adore her work, and apparently you do too, since you've noticed the similarities. But I didn't realize that Bardock was acting onna-ish at all! Wow, maybe Chu has more influence on my mind than I realize. CHU! YOU'RE GOOD AT BRAINWASHING PEOPLE! Sorry, I had to do that. I hope that this cleared things up a bit. Thanks for the review!  
  
Miyanon: Well now that that's over with, on with the story!  
  
****  
  
A Saiyajin Hall. One of the few luxuries of the HFIL specially reserved for any saiyajin, who resides in the hellish abyss. Any saiyajin can find relief in those buildings from the ever present suffering of their daily residence, only on the condition that if their space was needed for an injured saiyajin..which is pretty much everyday. So the only chance that any saiyajin really gets to go inside was if they're injured or whatnot. Otherwise they would probably get kicked out by the head of the hall, a saiyajin queen, ranging from ancient times to the recent past, including Bejita's own Queen Ruby.  
  
On this particular day, the ogres in charge of HFIL are having a field day, resulting in many more injured saiyajins as usual. And so, as the Saiyajin no Ou, Bejita feels it's his duty to check upon his injured subjects. In other words, visit Ruby and hide from the ogres.  
  
After spilling the news about their son to Ruby, "Oh my gosh! I can't believe our little Veggie-Chan is finally going to have his own princess!" the former king starts wondering whether it was really a good idea or not. Ruby crosses her arms and huffs, "Well, the only thing I have to say about it, is that it's about time!"  
  
Bejita frowns, "Um, aren't you the least bit concerned that it's a third- level onna?" earning several turned heads from the bedded saiyajins around them.  
  
Ruby says crossly, "Honestly, it's not like we can be picky now can we? Besides with Kakarotto's power level he- I mean she should be a first class elite AND part of the royal family! I think our son isn't that stupid, considering the options! Anyway..." her foul mood gets wiped away by a cheery smile, "So when should Celipa and I be expecting the baby?"  
  
The king sweatdrops, "Um, honey, they didn't exactly mate yet. In fact they don't even like each other that way yet. AND they both still have their imitation mates."  
  
Ruby frowns, contemplating the situation, "Damn, they might not even start until their supposed mates are dead. That's going to take forever!"  
  
Suddenly a saiyajin female, a nurse, comes up to the queen and says, "Your majesty, another one's arrived," indicating an incapacitated, second class saiyajin being brought by two other attendants behind her. Ruby sighs, "And he was my favorite guard, too. Kick that fool Nappa out of his bed, he's only milking it up."  
  
A cry behind her calls, "No! Your majesty! I really do have a brain tumor!"  
  
Ruby yells back at the elite, "Will you shut up about that already?! Get up and go outside!" The attendants follow her orders, dragging a pleading Nappa out of bed and boot him out of the inn, into the open. Watching the nurse put the unconscious soldier to bed, Ruby goes back to thinking on the whole Kakarot/Kayka situation. A sly smile slowly lights up her face, and she casts imploring eyes on Bejita, asking, "Oh Beejie, you wouldn't mind if I "encouraged" them a little, do you? And keep their fake mates away from them for a little while, you know, just to give them a chance."  
  
The king says in surprise, "You can do that?"  
  
Ruby scowls in response, her face resembling that of her son's very accurately, "Of course I can! You're not the only one who knows Incanti around here mister! And don't go blabbing about how much more complex it is for an onna! Get it?!" Without a word, Bejita wraps his arms around her and kisses her passionately, getting many of cries of approval from the on looking saiyajins. After they part, Ruby blinks in confusion, "Um, you're welcome."  
  
A loud slam interrupts their little episode, and they turn to see that two bulbous ogres have entered the main hallway. Ruby lets go of the king and advances on the two unwelcome presences angrily, "What are you two doing here?!"  
  
The smaller red one answers, "We're looking for some monkeys to beat up." Every saiyajins' face in the room darkens, and Ruby hisses venomously, "Well you can leave. You've already gotten your grubby hands on everyone here."  
  
Red's companion, a tall beady-eyed ogre, points behind Ruby towards the king, "What about him?" Bejita's eyes widen in fright and he turns around whistling innocently, trying as subtly as possible to escape.  
  
Red nods, "He's still standing. Sure, go get him."  
  
Beady-eyes brushes past the queen and promptly tucks Bejita under his arm. The ogre makes his way to the entrance with Bejita undertow bellowing and protesting and trying to escape the monster's grip. Red turns back to Ruby and says, "I need one, too."  
  
The queen replies, "Well, go find one... outside!" The ogre just stands there awkwardly, so Ruby shoves him towards the door and yells, "Go beat up Frieza, why don't you?!"  
  
Red protests, "But the queue is too long!"  
  
Ruby finally boots him out and slams the door on him. Fuming, she crosses over her threshold, and reaches her private office on the second floor. Once she's sure she's quite alone, Ruby relaxes and steps towards her small library, consisting of only a couple dirty old books. She picks out a particularly moldy one and opens it up onto her desk. Flipping through it, she finally finds what she's looking for.  
  
Ruby's eyes light up, "Ah... Repelling Spells. That should work." She bookmarks it and continues searching until she finds a section called 'Moonbeam Charms.' This time an evil grin crosses her face and she begins stretching her fingers, warming them up, "He he he, maybe I should do this one first."  
  
A sudden knock at the door snaps Ruby out of her evil trance, and she yells irritably, "What is it?!"  
  
A voice answers, "Your highness, the king has returned. And he's seriously hurt."  
  
Bejita's voice yells, "It's just a mere flesh wound! OW!"  
  
Ruby smiles and says, "I'll be right there!" She bookmarks that section as well and heads out the door to tend to her mate, deciding that she'll perform those spells later.  
  
****  
  
Deciding that the best time that getting clothes for Goku would be when Mirai and Trunks are out on a day-training trip, Bulma manages to drag both Vegeta and Goku to the Satan City Mall, much to their displeasure.  
  
Vegeta sighs, leaning on the wall outside the latest shop that Bulma corralled Goku into. Lingerie. He feels some pity for the other saiyajin, but not enough to go inside... Then again Goku probably IS changing in those stalls right now, most likely trying out sexy teddies and other lacey women's apparel that Bulma is forcing her to at least put on. He mentally drools, oh what he wouldn't give to be a fly in her stall right now...  
  
Suddenly Vegeta snaps out of his perverted daydream back into a reality check. {Holy frick! I'm thinking just like that hentai Roshi!} He shudders with horror, {Not only that but with Kakarot!}  
  
He realizes that now is definitely not a good time to do some good head banging since in the crowded mall it would attract too much attention. So he decides to divert his attention to his surroundings. He sees another male leaning on the same wall in the vicinity that he didn't notice before or simply didn't acknowledge. The tall, blonde guy sees Vegeta watching and tries to strike up a conversation, "So, you waiting for your girl too?" Huffing slightly, the ouji doesn't reply, and looks forward again. Not one to be easily beaten the guy, who Vegeta mentally dubs, Blondie, continues, "Yeah, I'm waiting for my wife. We just got married last month." Again Vegeta says nothing. "You know, girls can take forever in these kinds of shops."  
  
Already annoyed with this guy, Vegeta mutters, "Whatever," hoping that will get this guy off his back.  
  
Suddenly he recognizes a familiar ki in the area... And if it is who he thinks it is... Vegeta's head whips about as he searches for the source of the ki. Then he spots a bald, shiny head and sunglasses peeking from behind one of the mall benches. Great. Roshi.  
  
Vegeta looks into the shop and asks, "Is that your wife?" looking at a pretty brunette.  
  
Blondie nods, "Yeah, that's her, why?"  
  
"There's a perverted old man behind the bench over there ogling her."  
  
Blondie suddenly becomes angry, "WHAT?! I'm going to get that hentai!" He marches over to the bench where Roshi is starting to panic.  
  
The old turtle hermit goes racing off with Blondie speeding right after him, "Wait! You have the wrong guy! I swear!" However he gets chased off out of sight.  
  
Vegeta smirks and waits the remainder of the time alone, until about half an hour later, Bulma and a very confused Goku come out of the store. Goku walks up to the ouji and asks, "Um, Veggie? I gotta question."  
  
Rolling his eyes, Vegeta says sarcastically, "That's nice."  
  
Oblivious to Vegeta's tone, the poor saiyajin continues, "What's a D-cup?"  
  
The ouji yelps, and nearly falls over. Quickly gaining his balance, he hisses loudly at the younger saiyajin, "You fool! You don't go spouting information like that! This isn't the place!"  
  
Suddenly Bulma demands, "What's wrong with talking about it? I don't see what's so embarrassing about saying her breasts are D-cup. Actually it's a bit annoying. They're bigger than mine are."  
  
Vegeta can just feel the eyes of near onlookers goring into him, and he puts a hand to his face, burning with humiliation and embarrassment. He quickly pulls the two girls out of the area and nearly screams, "This is why I hate shopping with you!"  
  
****  
  
A little later the trio is in the Satan Department Store, just getting some regular clothes for Goku. Instead of staying out of the store, Vegeta just stays out of the women's section where the two onnas are situated, instead browsing the martial arts supplies section. (Man I want to go there!)  
  
Meanwhile Goku is in the changing room, picking out clothes from the huge pile that Bulma chose for her. With a wearied sigh, she takes the item from the top and looks at it. A pink frilly blouse. She wrinkles her nose in disgust, "Yuck," and tosses out of the stall, onto the head of an unexpected passerby. She proceeds in the same manner through the rest of the pile, tossing out most of the clothes there. "Yuck... Yuck... Eww... Yuck... She expects me to wear this?!..... Ugh, gross... Yu-"  
  
Goku pauses, looking at the item of clothing in her hands. A long, strapless, black dress. Simple flowy material falling down to just above the floor. It would look good on ChiChi... And maybe on... Goku shyly brings the dress up against herself and looks at her reflection in the mirror. She smiles, "Not bad."  
  
*KNOCK KNOCK* Goku yelps and holds the dress away, with the look of someone caught doing something embarrassing. Bulma's voice rings out, "Go- Kayka! What are you doing in there?!"  
  
Goku's eyes dart nervously to the door, "Um... I'm not looking at myself in a dress!"  
  
Bulma sweatdrops, "Rrright. Why don't you come out and show the very few things you picked out," noting the huge pile of stray clothes outside of the stall. The saiyajin sighs and picks up about ten items from the ground, tucking the dress under the other clothes. She unlocks the door and shoves aside the pile of clothes outside the door, only to find Bulma conversing with... CHICHI AND GOTEN?!  
  
Goku yelps, "Holy-!" and locks herself back in the stall again.  
  
The blue haired scientist calls, "Kayka! Are you ready?!"  
  
Goku groans and thinks, {God, Bulma, are you insane?} She comes out and forces a smiles onto her face at the onnas and her son, "Yeah, I'm done. I picked out a couple things that weren't too weird."  
  
ChiChi frowns at the stranger, wondering if she's seen her before. She simply shrugs it off, and smiles good-naturedly, sticking her hand out towards Goku, "Hi, I'm Son ChiChi and this is my son, Goten," nudging the little carbon-copy of Goku by her side. "We're Bulma's friends. You're Bulma's cousin, right?"  
  
Goku stares at ChiChi, stunned for a second, but recognizing her error, she takes ChiChi's hand and shakes it, "I'm Kayka. It's nice to meet you ChiChi." {Why doesn't she recognize me?}  
  
ChiChi feels her hand go numb with pain and quickly takes it out of the hand shake. Massaging her aching hand, she forces a smile onto her face, "Wow, you're strong. You must be a fighter. Well, I never expected to find a fighter on Bulma's side of the family." Bulma glares at her, a bit miffed. "You know, my husband's a fighter, too."  
  
{Come on, ChiChi! Why don't you see me?!} Goku says in fake curiosity, "Oh really? He doesn't happen to be the legendary Son Goku, does he?"  
  
ChiChi scoffs, "Oh he's not really THAT legendary."  
  
Goku blinks, {What?} "Really? Wh-what do you mean?"  
  
Sensing the danger here, Bulma puts a hand on ChiChi's shoulder, "Uh, I don't think that you should-"  
  
But the dark haired onna just says, "Oh it's alright. It's just straight, simple girl-talk. No harm in it." She looks back at Goku and says, "Well, he's not the perfect angel. Of course there's always the way he eats. He never seems to have enough, and I always worry about how he'll eat us out of house and home." ChiChi gives a light chuckle, showing that she's just joking, but then she continues, "He also may be the nicest man on the planet, but I would trade that immediately for at least a couple conversations when he understands at least half of what I'm saying."  
  
Goku stares at her wife, completely dumb-struck, {She can't really mean that. But she's saying it right in front of me!}  
  
Oblivious to the pain that she's causing, ChiChi adds, "And he tries to be a good father too, but unfortunately he's just never there for our children. It's so hard on Goten. Isn't that right?"  
  
The young demi-saiyajin says in defense of his father, "I like my daddy."  
  
ChiChi sighs, "Of course you do, honey. But it's just really hard on us. Would you believe that he left us this morning, without at least three-days notice?! That man, I simply don't know what to do with him." She adds dramatically, "But I manage. It's hard, but I carry on. Well, you know how men can be."  
  
Bulma watches Goku tentatively, as she hangs onto every word that comes out of ChiChi's mouth. Shaking just slightly, Goku sniffles, "I'm sorry. I need to go to the bathroom. Excuse me," and she dumps her clothes onto Bulma and hurries to the restroom area.  
  
Goten says in awe, "Wow, she runs pretty fast for a girl."  
  
ChiChi huffs just slightly, "That's rude. Why did she just run off like that?" Bulma sends her a glare, then sighs, shaking her head.  
  
****  
  
Vegeta wanders into the men's bathroom to wash his face off after some old onna came up to him and pinched his cheeks, thinking he was a child. He shivers, {Damn that was so disgusting. She had to be at least 500!....Wait, how much is that in ningen years?}  
  
He walks into the fluorescent lit bathroom, and goes over to one of the cheap porcelain sinks, quickly turning on the hot water and splashing it over his face. Suddenly Vegeta hears muffled sobbing coming from one of the two stalls. He rolls his eyes, {Who in their right mind, would cry like a girl in the men's bathroom?....} Vegeta's eyes widen, {Oh Kami, no.} He goes over to the furthest stall and knocks gently on the door, "Kakarot! Kakarot, is that you?"  
  
The crying immediately stops. "Yeah. Vedge, that you?"  
  
The ouji hisses, "Of course it's me! What the hell are you doing in here?!"  
  
Goku says defensively, "Can't I go to the bathroom if I want?!"  
  
"That's not what I mean! Open this door, right now!"  
  
The younger saiyajin says dejectedly, "Oh fine," and unlatches the door, coming out of the stall.  
  
Suddenly Vegeta shoves himself and Kakarot back into the stall. Goku yelps, "Vegeta what are you-!" Vegeta slaps his hand over her mouth to shut her up. Nervous anticipation crawls up Goku's skin and it feels like her heart's going to beat out of her chest. {Kami! What- Why is he doing this?! He couldn't possibly be-} Without a word, Vegeta puts down the top of the toilette and makes Goku stand on top of it, along with him. Goku just becomes all the more confused.  
  
Then the heavy door of the restroom creaks open.  
  
The two saiyajins hear the padding of feet on the tile floor and it goes to the stall next to theirs. Vegeta exhales the breath he didn't know he was holding, but then he hears a young voice pout, "Darn, no paper." Vegeta freezes up again, and Goku gives him a very puzzled expression.  
  
The footsteps come over to the saiyajins' stall, and the ouji makes a sharp intake of breath as the person opens up the door.  
  
Goten. Vegeta relaxes immediately, while the young boy stares at them in shock. It isn't everyday that you see two people, especially one of them being Vegeta, hiding out of top of a toilette in a bathroom stall! Vegeta sighs, "Thank Kami, it's only you."  
  
Goten says innocently, "Uncle Veggie? What are you and Kayka-san doing in here?"  
  
The ouji jumps off the seat and says, "That's not important." He reaches for his back pocket and brings out his wallet, taking out a crisp, new bill, "But what is important, is that you tell nobody about this. Got it?" giving the bill to the little demi-saiyajin.  
  
Goten looks at the bill and yelps, "Holy mother of jellyfish! This is twenty dollars! I've never had this much money in my life!"  
  
Vegeta adds, "And no telling Trunks either," shaking his finger in front of Goten's nose.  
  
Goten smiles and salutes him, "You got it Uncle Veggie! You can count on me!"  
  
Smirking, the ouji pushes out of the bathroom and says, "Now you can leave."  
  
Goten yelps, "But I still gotta go to the-!" And the door slams in his face.  
  
Vegeta starts to barricade the door with trash cans the two doors that he pries off of the bathroom stalls. Goku says nervously, "Vegeta, what's this about?" But to her surprise, when he's done stopping up the door, instead of coming onto her like she had thought he was, the ouji is nearly seething with anger as he turns on her, "What are you doing in here?!"  
  
Goku breathes a sigh, but something inside her said it wasn't only relief. But now she's sure that he's not going to go anywhere near her. {Kami, what was I thinking? This is Vegeta, we're talking about! He's never going to BE interested in me... Not that I want him to be of course.}  
  
"Dammit, Kakarot! Answer me! I demand to know what you're doing in the men's bathroom!"  
  
The younger saiyajin frowns, "Men's bathroom?!"  
  
Vegeta replies angrily, "Obviously! Didn't you see the sign with the little non-skirted, stick person on it?!"  
  
Goku sweatdrops and says numbly, "Vedge? This is a unisex bathroom!"  
  
The ouji's mind goes numb, {Uni-SEX?! What does that mean?!} "C-care to explain, K-Kakarot?" He curses himself for not keeping his nervousness out of his voice.  
  
Goku sighs with exasperation, "Unisex, it's for both boys AND girls! There was a picture of an onna right next to the "non-skirted, stick person." Or didn't you see it?"  
  
Vegeta burns with embarrassment at his ignorance of this bit of ningen culture, so he tries to defend himself, "I thought it was for the other restroom!"  
  
Goku scowls, "Oh, you mean the non-existent one?!" And he fails miserably.  
  
"Just shut up!"  
  
"Why don't you?!"  
  
Vegeta shuts up and so does Goku, trying to keep themselves from breaking into an all out brawl. Goku controls her breathing and wonders why exactly she feels so irritated. Vegeta himself wonders why he hasn't tried to bash her head in yet.  
  
Intent on changing the subject, the ouji crosses his arms and asks, "Why were you crying?"  
  
Goku mutters crossly, "I wasn't crying."  
  
"I suppose you think me a fool to believe a lie like that." The younger saiyajin just huffs and turns away from Vegeta. Scowling, Vegeta spins her around and yells, "Dammit! Stop acting like a man because you sure as hell aren't one now! Tell me why!"  
  
Taken complete aback by surprise, Goku gets won over. In a whisper as quiet as a baby's sigh, she demands, "Promise you won't tell?"  
  
The ouji answers, "It depends." Goku gives him a dark look so he says, "Alright! I won't!"  
  
Goku smiles, but it fades as she tries to think of a way to explain herself. "Well... you know how... um... I saw ChiChi with Bulma."  
  
Vegeta's eyes widen, "You mean they're lesbian?!"  
  
Goku's eyes widen, "What?! No! That's not what I mean!" Frowning, Vegeta wonders how he jumped to that so quickly. "I mean, that ChiChi was talking with Bulma. And Bulma introduced us and then ChiChi started talking to me and... and..."  
  
"What?" Vegeta looks at her curiously, wanting her to finish.  
  
Goku sniffles, "She said... to me... She said- Oh Kami!" She suddenly breaks into tears and buries her face into Vegeta's jacket.  
  
Vegeta stares at Goku while she uses his jacket as her own personal tissue. Cringing with disgust, he slowly brings his hand up and awkwardly pats her back. Now, Goku has to tell him something, "Chi-Chi said I'm stupid."  
  
At this the ouji rolls his eyes, "Well you aren't the brightest of the bunch!"  
  
Goku draws away from him and looks at him in disbelief, "She said I'm not a good father!"  
  
Vegeta raises an eyebrow, "And where's the surprise there? You always go running everywhere! I know for a fact that the last time you stayed with your family was only two months between training trips. Besides, you're not even the right gender-"  
  
Goku yells, "Well why did she have to say that to me?! A supposedly complete stranger?!"  
  
"You're not just a stranger! You're Bulma's cousin! And that was probably all onna-talk! Listen, you just can't trust onnas when they talk. They're nothing but devious wenches! They'll say anything just for attention! And I mean ANYTHING! Bulma caught me singing in the shower one time, and I threatened her to never tell anyone! Do you know what she does? She goes and tells her entire company! I've been Mr. Karaoke ever since! Granted the employees don't say that right in front of me, but I can hear them behind my back! You can't trust onnas!"  
  
Goku narrows her eyes, "You can't trust me?"  
  
Vegeta says in alarm, "That's not what I meant."  
  
The younger saiyajin growls, "Well you said I'm not a man! What does that make me?!"  
  
Vegeta yells, "Dammit! That's not what I meant!"  
  
Tears well up in Goku's eyes and she yells, "A wench! Well, I suppose that's better than third-class scum, now isn't it?!"  
  
The ouji blinks in confusion, {What? I haven't called Kakarot that for three years now. Dammit! She's being just like an onna! They always go and bring up the past!} Vegeta growls, "Now look here, Kakarot-!"  
  
Goku glares at him and teleports away.  
  
At her sudden departure, Vegeta kicks the wall in frustration, yelling several obscenities in his native tongue. After nearly destroying the whole wall, he calms down, measuring his breaths and mutters, "Who cares about her? Not I! Why should I care?! Nothing but skin filled to brim with baka ningen emotions! She's nothing!....."  
  
He pauses his tirade, remembering the look of hurt and grief on her face, and he moans, "Then why do I feel so damn horrible about it?"  
  
Vegeta crosses his arms and yells determinately, "NO! I refuse to think about it! I won't let Kakarot affect me!"  
  
He seats himself on the floor, trying to force the thoughts away from his mind. But inevitably he fails and the guilt returns. He sighs in resignation, "Aw crap."  
  
He shoves the several obstacles he placed by the door away, muttering to himself, "No wonder Bardock was so worried about me. No self control whatsoever." (Okay, so he figured Bardock out. But he'd be an idiot not to!)  
  
Vegeta knocks away the last trash bin and goes out into the store, back to the section he was in before he was assaulted by the cheek-pinching old onna.  
  
Meanwhile, Bulma and ChiChi are still browsing the women's section. Bulma sighs, finally giving up, "I can't find a thing here that Kayka would like!"  
  
ChiChi says in disbelief, "You must be joking! They have all sorts of wonderful clothes here!" In fact her eyes are enviously watching someone purchase a red blouse that she wanted.  
  
Bulma nods, "That's true, but Kayka's really more of a tomboy."  
  
ChiChi says intelligently, "Oh..."  
  
Just then Bulma spots Goku coming back towards them, carrying a whole load of clothes. The blue haired scientist says in surprise, "Wow. You actually picked out some stuff from here!"  
  
Goku frowns, looking at the two onnas she's known for nearly her whole life, {They couldn't really be wenches... Could they? No! Of course not!} But part of her seems unconvinced by the conversation she had with ChiChi earlier. She sighs, "No, I just got these from the boys' section."  
  
Bulma wonders out loud, "Hn, why didn't I think of that?"  
  
ChiChi laughs, "Maybe because you don't know where the boys' section is."  
  
The two begin sorting through the clothes, noting their approvals and dislikes of the items chosen. ChiChi pulls out a red shirt with 'BOY' printed clearly in white bold lettering. She looks at Goku with a questioning glance.  
  
The saiyajin's only explanation is, "I'm thinking about a sex change," partially hoping her wife would get the hint and recognize her.  
  
However, ChiChi sees nothing but a pretty screwed up girl. She narrows her eyes disapprovingly, but decides to say nothing. But if Kayka wasn't Bulma's cousin, then she would definitely give her a good lesson in good, safe, traditional values!  
  
Goku sighs with defeat and starts pulling Bulma towards the cashier, carrying all the clothes with her, "Bulma, I don't want you to pick through these clothes. I already tried them all out." She yells over her shoulder, "It was nice to meet you, ChiChi!"  
  
ChiChi frowns, putting her hands on her hips, "Such a strange girl. Rude too."  
  
Suddenly Goten comes running up to his mother, "Mommy! Mommy! Look what Uncle Veggie gave me!"  
  
****  
  
Dinner is held at Capsule Corps with an unusually awkward silence. Even Vegeta and Goku are eating much slower and more politely. The only ones who seem to be attempting any sort of conversation are Mirai and Trunks.  
  
Mirai fumbles with his food and asks, "So... Kayka... Which side of the family do you come from? You don't look like any of mom's aunts and uncles."  
  
Trunks nods in agreement, "Yeah, you look like you'd be more related to Dad."  
  
Vegeta sends him a glare, and Goku answers somewhat hesitantly, "Well, I'm your mom's cousin twice removed from her, uh... father's side."  
  
The younger Briefs boy narrows his eyes and watches Kayka even harder, "Why are you wearing my mom's clothes?"  
  
Goku says intelligently, "Uh.." cursing herself for not changing into some of her new clothes yet.  
  
Vegeta scowls, "The baka airline lost her luggage. Why are you interrogating her?"  
  
Trunks says quickly, "I-it's nothing. Sorry."  
  
Turning to glare at the ouji, Goku sends him a mental message, {What are you doing?}  
  
Vegeta answers, {Trying to make up, baka!}  
  
{Try harder!}  
  
Mirai frowns, watching the two of them. He could have sworn they're having a mental conversation, but that's impossible! Only saiyajins are capable of that sort of mental capacity! He just shrugs it off, dismissing it as his imagination.  
  
Goku finishes her spaghetti and pushes her plate towards Bulma, "Can I have some more please?"  
  
Bulma frowns, "You've already had five servings."  
  
Her "cousin" pouts, "But I'm still hungry."  
  
The blue haired scientist glares, "Kayka, normal girls shouldn't eat so much. It's not healthy."  
  
The saiyajin picks up the hint and sighs, "All right. Fine," then sits back in her chair to enviously watch Vegeta eat his food.  
  
Nearing the end of the meal, Mirai asks hopefully, "Hey, Dad? You wanna spar after dinner?"  
  
Vegeta shrugs, "Sure, why not?"  
  
Trunks whines, "But Mirai, you said you'd spar with me!"  
  
His future counterpart hisses, "Well that was when I thought that Dad was leaving on a trip."  
  
"That's not fair!"  
  
Suddenly Goku speaks up, breaking the little sibling spat, "I'll spar with Trunks."  
  
An awkward silence ensues.  
  
Mirai says nervously, "I don't know if that's such a good idea."  
  
The female saiyajin frowns, "Well, why not? I know martial arts."  
  
Trunks brings up his hand and forms a ki-ball, "Because I can do this. Can you?" raising a skeptical eyebrow.  
  
"Well, actually..." Bulma kicks Goku in the shin, "No! No, I don't know how to do that. Because I'm a normal girl. A normal ningen girl. Yup, perfectly- "  
  
Vegeta mutters, "I think you made your point."  
  
They three Briefs men quickly finish up their food, and Trunks says excitedly, "Last one out is a rotten egg!" and he runs out the back door with Mirai running right after him. Vegeta humphs and gets up as well, turning to the door, only to blink in surprise, seeing Goku try to sneak out the back.  
  
Bulma says sharply, "Goku, stay here."  
  
The saiyajin says innocently, "But I don't wanna be the rotten egg."  
  
Vegeta looks back at Bulma, who says, "I'm not going to let you go out and spar."  
  
Vegeta looks back at the female saiyajin. Goku whines, "Can't I just watch?"  
  
Vegeta looks back at Bulma again. "NO! I know you too well! Once you watch fighting, you always want to get in on the action!"  
  
At the finality of his wife's tone, Vegeta sighs, and heads out the back. No one has been able to win an argument against her yet.  
  
Bulma says much more calmly, "Why don't you help me with the dishes instead?"  
  
Goku looks at the plate covered, dining table and asks, "Aren't your bots supposed to do that?"  
  
Rolling her eyes, Bulma starts picking up the dishes and answers, "Usually, but Trunks went and put sand in all of them, so now they're broken."  
  
Goku sighs with resignation before picking up a whole stack of plates, giving the back door one last longing look. Bulma calls, "Goku! Hurry up!" The saiyajin mutters, "Yes,_ChiChi_," and brings the dishes over to the kitchen.  
  
****  
  
Later that night, Goku flops onto the queen sized bed of one of the many guest rooms in Capsule Corps, feeling the most depressed she's ever felt in her whole life. She balls up her fist around the quilt and brings it to her face, ready to cry her heart out.  
  
Why did this have to happen to her? It just isn't fair. She's deprived of everything she loves. Food, fighting, and only two people know that she's still on the same planet. And she definitely can't talk to ChiChi NOW, after that conversation in the department store, leaving Goku lonelier than she's felt in a long time.  
  
Just then she hears a small rapping at the door and says depressingly, "Come in." But no one does come in. Frowning, Goku gets up from the bed and opens up the guest room door. She finds no one in the hallway, but she looks down and sees a plate filled with about twenty capsules, a large, white cardboard box, and a small peach colored envelope.  
  
Curiously, Goku picks up the envelope and opens it up to read its contents,  
  
'Kakarotto, I can't really say this out loud, it's too hard. But I apologize for before. Even though it's not my fault you went nuts. But I've decided to make it up to you. As long as you're stuck like this I'll bring you leftovers to eat. A saiyajin shouldn't be starved to death. There's also another something for sparring. A saiyajin shouldn't be bored to death either. Take care of it; I don't want to go buy you a new one. But after this, we better be back on normal terms, got it?! Good. Signed, Vegeta, Saiyajin no Ouji'  
  
A small smile forms onto Goku's lips and she quickly opens up the large white box and gasps with surprise and pure delight at its contents. Inside she finds a simple gi, similar to her regular one, only white with blue lining the cuffs of the pants, and a matching blue sash, undershirt, and wrist cuffs.  
  
But then she notices two white, gold-tipped boots, just like the type that the ouji wears. Goku sweatdrops, "Well, I guess it's the thought that counts." She yells into the hallway, "Thank you, Vegeta!" Then she brings in the plate of capsules into her room and shuts the door, so that she can enjoy a good saiyajin sized meal.  
  
Around the corner, Vegeta smirks, "I knew it! Success! Back to normal with Kayka!" Suddenly he hears a low rumble above him, and Vegeta fearfully looks up. A black thunder cloud is swirling right above his head. The ouji pales, "Oh Kami, I said it didn't I?" The cloud roars in response and zaps Vegeta in the butt with a small, yet powerful, lightning bolt.  
  
Vegeta yelps in pain, clinging at his roasting buttocks, and runs away from the cloud as fast as he can. While the little storm cloud, bent on Bardock's will, follows him closely, zapping the ouji as much as it can, all around the house for the rest of the night. 


	5. Repellants and mushy named spells

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
****  
  
Early the next morning, Vegeta walks through the living room, intent on heading to the gravity room, even though his whole entire body is still aching with his near death by electrocution last night. Tremors of pain, rivet through his body as he walks across the carpet, so he's too distracted to really notice what's going on around him.  
  
"Good morning, Vedge."  
  
The ouji turns his head in the direction of the couch and sees Goku reading a book, not really looking towards him. He frowns, walking towards the female saiyajin, "I didn't know you could read."  
  
Goku smiles at him good-naturedly, and Vegeta can really see that they're back on good terms, or at least normal terms. "Well, I guess I don't do it as much as I should. But now I can," she adds darkly, "since I'm banned from sparring... Oh! By the way! Thanks for the boots!" She wiggles her toes inside the saiyajin boots that Vegeta had given her the night before and grins, "They're surprising more comfy than I thought they would be!"  
  
Vegeta sweatdrops, "Uh... sure..." He decides to postpone the training for now. He'd probably pass out under 100 g's in his present condition anyway. Slowly, and very gently, the ouji seats himself onto the couch. Wincing as he puts his tender bottom on the cushions, he curses, {Out of all the parts that got zapped the most it just had to be my ass!}  
  
The ouji looks at Goku once again, only to his surprise sees that she's turned back to her book. Frowning, he was kind of hoping for some more attention from her. However, not being the talkative kind, he just sits there humming to himself, while Goku concentrates on her book. Just sitting, and waiting, and sitting, and waiting.  
  
Finally, Vegeta just can't take it anymore. "So what are you reading anyway?"  
  
Without looking up from the book, Goku answers, "The Prince and the Pauper."  
  
Vegeta smirks, "I didn't know you were interested in such subjects."  
  
Goku puts the book down and says, "Well, it's not exactly what you might think. Actually it's about how a prince and a peasant switch places and see what each others' lives are like. I haven't really gotten through the whole thing, but I bet that it ends with both of them going back to their old lives and appreciating what they have."  
  
Vegeta's eyes widen as she tells him all this through such an intelligent manner. {Kami, she's seriously freaking me out!} "Um... We're you always like this?"  
  
The younger saiyajin asks innocently, "Was I always like what?"  
  
"You're being smart. Is it because you're an onna now or what?"  
  
Goku shrugs, "I was always like this."  
  
The ouji frowns, "Then why didn't you act like it before?"  
  
At this, the female saiyajin gives him a mysterious smile, "Maybe I was just pretending to be dumb. You know, so people don't freak out."  
  
Vegeta stares at her in shock. He never really expected something like this from her. He really didn't! He studies her carefully, to see if there's anything else that she's hiding about herself.  
  
Goku sighs wistfully and says, "It'd be nice to know what it's like to be a prince."  
  
Shaken out of his trance, Vegeta blinks at her statement, but then smirks and says playfully, "Don't you mean a princess?"  
  
Goku pouts, "No! Prince!"  
  
The ouji leans back into his seat and shrugs, "Too bad. I could've made you a princess." But he regrets making the statement.  
  
The female saiyajin's eyes widen, and she says excitedly, "Really? Oh, Veggie! Make me a princess!"  
  
Vegeta yelps, "What?! Why?!"  
  
Goku says eagerly, unable to wipe the huge grin off her face, "Well, I'll be a princess when I'm an onna. But when I turn back then I'll be a prince! Besides you said you could!"  
  
Not really wanting to be rid of one of the only factors that makes him superior to the third-class saiyajin, Vegeta replies angrily, "No way! Just because I can doesn't mean I will!"  
  
Goku narrows her eyes at him suspiciously, "Is it because you don't want to lose your only subject?"  
  
The ouji says dejectedly, "Well, kinda..."  
  
"Veggie!"  
  
"But that's not it! Because if I were to uh... 'perform the ritual,' which I can't imagine you agreeing to in the first place, you wouldn't be just a princess, you'd be MY princess!"  
  
Goku blinks, "Huh?"  
  
Vegeta yells, "We'd be mated, you baka! And I'm not just going to do something like that with you just at your whim!"  
  
Smiling slyly, the younger saiyajin asks, "So, does that make Bul-chan your princess?"  
  
Immediately, the ouji starts to feel uncomfortable, "Well, no..."  
  
Goku frowns in confusion, "Why not?"  
  
Vegeta nervously taps his fingers together, "I didn't exactly go through the WHOLE process with her. The 'other' part would've killed her."  
  
His companion says in a consoling manner, "Well, that's okay, Vedge. I didn't do 'everything' that I was suppose to with ChiChi either." Her eyebrows quirk up in thought, "At least I think so. Unless my instincts are lying to me."  
  
At this profound statement, Vegeta's eyes widen, and he says quietly, "You haven't mated her completely either?"  
  
Goku shakes her head, "Nope."  
  
Meanwhile, up in the heavens, Bardock opens up his laptop, just in time to see Vegeta on the couch with his "daughter," alone in the Capsule Corps living room. His eyes widen when he sees the scene and he says quietly, "What the-"  
  
The ouji scooches closer to Goku and leans into her, "So, in the saiyajin sense, we're both free."  
  
Feeling uncomfortable, Goku scooches away from the dazy-eyed saiyajin no ouji, "In the ningen sense we're not."  
  
All rational thought leaves Bardock's mind as he watches Goku's sense of comfort being violated by the little ouji, and he blasts into ssj mode. He screams at his laptop, "WHY YOU LITTLE PIECE OF- DIDN'T YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON?!" He warms up his hands getting ready to fire down on the little saiyajin no ouji once again.  
  
Vegeta replies, "But we're both saiyajin." As he leans closer to her face, until they're nose to nose, Goku sees the ouji's eyes shine with something that Goku can't identity, and she's not sure if she wants to.  
  
"But we're on Earth!" Goku pleads desperately, "What are you trying to get at?!"  
  
The ouji smirks, "Kay-"  
  
Suddenly a huge bolt of lightning comes out of nowhere and electrifies Vegeta, taking out half the couch with it. Goku shrieks, and jumps away from the danger. Vegeta survives it, however, even though he's nearly fried to a crisp! Burn marks scorch his body, his hair sticking out in more directions than usual, and all his clothes are incinerated, except for the top of his pants, making convenient shorts covering all the 'necessary areas.' Leave it to Bardock to make sure of THAT little detail.  
  
Looking up in alarm, Goku yelps, "Holy frick! What was that?!" her eyes darting all over the peach ceiling.  
  
Vegeta coughs up a puff of black smoke and croaks, "Just a healthy reminder. Excuse me." He gets up form the couch and goes to wall to pound his head against, his body twitching from extra static every so once in a while. And Goku continues to search the ceiling, too preoccupied to continue reading her book.  
  
Vegeta stays away from Goku for the rest of the day.  
  
****  
  
Early the next day, while waiting for the time his devil companion would show up at their usual hide-out, Bardock smirks in his sleep, having a very good dream about blowing the ouji to bits. His internal alarm clock goes off and he slowly opens his eyes, yawning and stretching, including a couple exercises with his feathery wings. He didn't use them often, so he has to work them every morning.  
  
During his little morning stretch, the angel smiles to himself, still in a good mood from his dream, or prophecy as he liked to call it, "That had to be one of my best ones yet! Who knew the little ouji can be such good target practice?"  
  
Suddenly he hears, "Oi! Anyone here?!"  
  
Bardock glances at his watch and mutters, "He's here early." He looks over at the corner of King Enma's palace and sees the shadow of the former saiyajin no ou, coming his way. Bardock smiles, "Hey, Beets, what's up?"  
  
Bejita's head peeks around the corner and it has a look of nervousness on it, "Um, hey Barudokko-San."  
  
At once Bardock can tell something's up. He mouths, 'Okay, what did you do now?'  
  
His devil friend grins sheepishly, and mouths back, 'I kind of brought a visitor.'  
  
Then that when Ruby comes around the corner, "Bejita, is this where you always come?" She turns and sees the third-class saiyajin angel and smiles warmly, "Oh hello, there! You must be Bardock! Celipa's told me all about you!"  
  
Bardock smiles and bows before Ruby respectfully, "It is a pleasure meeting you, your majesty."  
  
The queen smiles, "Well, aren't you sweet? It's so rare meeting courteous saiyajin," giving a small glare to her mate. But she turns back to Bardock smiling, "But then again you ARE an angel. You don't mind if I stay here do you?"  
  
The angel shakes his head, "Of course not, your highness! Feel free to explore the area."  
  
Ruby looks at the empty space under the shadow of the palace and frowns, "Rrright. I'll just go and set up my stuff over near the other corner of the palace, if it's alright with you. I don't want to intrude on your little club." She grins and brings her bag of things that Bardock failed to notice before and heads over about 200 feet away at the opposite end of the palace.  
  
Once her back is turned, Bardock grabs Bejita by the collar and demands, "What the heck is she doing here?!"  
  
Bejita yells, "Hey! Let me go, right now!" The angel grudgingly lets go of the ou and sits down on the fluffy ground, obviously very irritated. Bejita huffs, "Come on, your acting like a ningen child who's just lost his clubhouse to a girl..." Bardock glares up at him, and Bejita stutters, "W- well, obviously, you'd feel that way, huh?"  
  
The angel demands, "Do you have any idea how long it took me to find this hiding spot?"  
  
Bejita frowns, "Uh..."  
  
"15 years! 15 years of searching the Otherworld from up to bottom for at least a little bit of privacy and I lose it in a day!"  
  
The devil ou rolls his eyes, "It's not that BIG a deal! It's only one person!"  
  
The angel sighs in defeat and lets his wings and tail sag. He says dismally, "Why?"  
  
Bejita scratches the back of his head and says, "Well, uh, you see... She said that she'd help bring our kids together. But she needs a place to perform the spells that are necessary, and well, I decided to bring her here!"  
  
Bardock stares at the former ou and says weakly, "You mean she's here to bring Vegeta (the perverted ouji) and Kakarot (my innocent, naïve daughter) together?!"  
  
His companion replies, shrugging, "Well she's just 'encouraging' them."  
  
The angel mutters, "As if that hentai needs encouragement."  
  
Bejita asks, "What was that?"  
  
"Nothing!"  
  
Ruby waves to them from across the shadow, "Okay boys! I'm ready!" The two saiyajins give up their little 'discussion' so that they can watch the saiyajin queen perform the spells. Bejita to try and learn something from it. Bardock to make sure she doesn't so anything too drastic.  
  
****  
  
About half an hour later, Goku moans and wakes up at an ungodly hour in her large queen sized bed. The sound of several voices yelling in the hallway. Curious, she puts off her usual morning stretch to see what the heck's going on.  
  
Popping her head out into the hallway, the saiyajin sees Mirai carrying several bags out into the hallway, while Bulma is encapsuling them and yelling at Vegeta in a bitter spat at the same time.  
  
Still in his pajamas, although much more alert than he would be at this hour, Vegeta demands, "What do you mean a conference?! How come we haven't heard of this before?!"  
  
The blue haired scientist says irritably, "I told you, my dad got sick last night! I have to go and replace him as the speaker! I have no choice! But you don't seem to get the concept of that do you, you little-"  
  
An obviously annoyed Mirai decides to make a little input in the discussion as well, "That's all well and good, Mom, but why do chibi and I have to go with you?"  
  
Bulma sighs, massaging her temples with her hands, "I need someone to help me present and I tutor Trunks, remember?"  
  
"But Mom-"  
  
His mother says sharply, "No buts! Honestly! I thought you were more responsible than this!" She points down the hall and orders, "Now go get your brother. We're leaving right away." Mirai sighs, shaking his head, and goes to fetch Trunks.  
  
Goku says in wonder, "Are Veggie and I going to be alone?"  
  
The ouji stiffens at the sound of her voice, and that's when Bulma notices that her friend is awake. She says cheerfully, "Oh good morning, Son-kun. Yeah, you two are going to have the place all to yourselves. But don't worry about food. There's enough stores to keep a whole army full for two years. Besides," she adds with a roll of her eyes, "his almighty highness can cook for you two."  
  
Goku just stares at Bulma blankly.  
  
Vegeta turns red at the comment and yells vehemently, "Why the hell did you have to tell her THAT?!"  
  
Bulma smirks, "It's going to be a very hard secret to keep since you're going to have to do it for nearly a month."  
  
Vegeta nearly shrieks, "A month?!"  
  
The scientist nods in amusement, "Yup, I have to stay at the conference the WHOLE time. But then that'll mean Goku'll be back to a guy by the time I come back!"  
  
Goku's eyes widen, "Veggie can cook?!" Both Bulma and Vegeta sweatdrop.  
  
Just then Mirai comes back with a sleepy Trunks in tow still wearing his rocket pajamas. Trunks mumbles groggily, "Where're we goin'?"  
  
Bulma takes a hold of his hand and begins leading him to the garage, "I'll explain it to you on the way there." She calls back over her shoulder, "Have fun you two! And I better not find this place in shambles when I come back!" Mirai waves to them before following his mother.  
  
The two saiyajins hear the garage door close and the sound of the Capsule Corps hover jet taking off, finally signaling that they're truly alone. They turn to look at each other and Goku says, "You can cook?!"  
  
****  
  
Ruby smiles with satisfaction as she watches the result of her spell workings through Bejita's crystal ball, "I knew that it would work!" Alongside her Bejita and Bardock are also watching the events of the mortal world.  
  
Frowning, Bejita lowers his head to the ball, seemingly trying to search for something in it. He looks up at his mate and says, "I don't get it. They aren't all over each other yet! Why aren't the moonbeam charms working?"  
  
The queen frowns in annoyance, "How can you claim to know Incanti if you don't even know moonbeam spells?!"  
  
Bejita rolls his eyes, "Well ex-CUSE me if I don't know all the mushy named spells! I'm-!"  
  
Suddenly Bardock says, trying to stop the argument before it starts, "It only works at night. Besides there's no moon yet. The spell will start to show more when the full moon is approaching and that's when it reaches its peak."  
  
The devil ou yelps, "The full moon?! Bardock! That's only the night before their confounded dragonballs are ready!"  
  
Inwardly smirking, Bardock replies, "Well, I suppose those two are going to have to get together on their own, aren't they? Like regular mates."  
  
Ruby suddenly says, "If you haven't noticed, they aren't regular, Bardock," earning an unknown glare from the unruly haired angel. She gets up and wipes the bits of cloud that stuck to her skirt off and starts picking up her things, "Well, I better get back to the hall. I heard that the ogres are planning on having another picnic." She smiles at the two saiyajins and says, "I'll see you boys later."  
  
Bardock gets up and bows, "Good day your majesty." Nodding with content, Ruby smiles and turns the corner of the palace and leaves the way that she came. After her leave, Bardock slowly turns to glare at his companion, "See you later?"  
  
Bejita smiles nervously, "Uh, maybe she means when you get demoted and go down to hell?"  
  
The angel regards him in silence for a long while, and then finally says, "You didn't tell her I wanted to go to hell, did you." It was more of a demand than a question.  
  
The former ou sighs, and says quietly, "Uh... No."  
  
Bardock blasts into ssj mode and screams, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!" Bejita shrieks and goes racing as far away from the angel as he possibly can, except that Bardock is in hot pursuit, "YOU WON'T GET AWAY THAT EASILY!"  
  
Meanwhile, inside of King Enma's palace, the red giant sighs as he finishes judging his who-knows-numbered spirit and passes it down into hell. It's a record. For the last three days, every single one of the souls has been sent to hell. He sighs, "What's the world coming to? NEXT!"  
  
Suddenly he feels a huge gush of air, knocking everything in the room to the side of the room, even King Enma himself. Enma picks himself off the floor quick enough to see two humungous clouds of dust going away into the distance. He says in disbelief, "What the heck was THAT?!"  
  
****  
  
Miyanon: Well it's not my best chapter, but it's necessary. Check out my other story if you have time! Ja ne! 


	6. Testing Days

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
*groan* That had to be the worst case of writer's block I've ever had.  
  
****  
  
Drumming his fingers on his desk, Qu'pac, the fuzz ball angel from the southern quadrant and one of Bardock's very few friends in the high class angel headquarters, sighs, his eyes darting up and down the page of his computer.  
  
He doesn't know how, but somehow he's been assigned to the impossible task, along with many other of the elite scientists, of deciphering the complex spell that had turned one of the last saiyajins alive into an onna. His eyes glaze over as he goes off into wandering thoughts, watching the creamy ceiling swirling as if it was made of clouds. Oh wait a sec, it is made of clouds.  
  
"QU'PAC!"  
  
The angel snaps out of his daydreams and yelps, "I'm awake! I'm awake!" He looks up from his desk and sees a white-blond haired angel glaring down at him, brandishing his wings angrily. Qu'pac smiles, "Oh hello, Willith."  
  
Willith glares down at him and scowls, "Sleeping on the job are we?"  
  
Qu'pac turns red with embarrassment, "Sorry sir." Turning back to his computer screen he begins studying the 5D model of the spell cast with a whole new vigor. The higher angel smirks with satisfaction and his eyes glance over the other angels under his supervision. Qu'pac shyly looks up from his work and says quietly, "Um... Willith-sir, no offense, but wouldn't it be better for Bardock to be helping with this study? I mean he is-"  
  
"A genius! I know!" the angel snaps irritably. He crosses his arms and huffs, "I also know that he is the poorest excuse of an angel that I've ever seen in my afterlife! He'd mess up this operation just for the fun of it!" He clenches his fists until his knuckles turn white, "I wish that he would. Then I'd see the pleasure of seeing him to be damned to hell for all eternity!"  
  
Qu'pac glances up and mutters under his breath, "I think he'd like that too."  
  
Willith's head snaps over to the fuzzy angel's direction and demands, "What was that?"  
  
The lower angel's eyes widen in fright but before he can say anything another angel, a blue skinned and even deeper blue haired angel makes his way in their direction and calls out, "Willith, we have a preliminary analysis on the structure of the spell."  
  
The blond angel glares at Qu'pac and growls, "We'll finish this later." He turns his attention to the blue angel and asks, "So what do you have?"  
  
Glancing over the notes, the angel answers, "Well, there seem to be some familiar traces of some of Merlin and Gracopadi's enchantments. But it's bouncing all over the place from karma notations to Shiva's destruction spells and even Santa Clause's invisibility charms! We should call it a thousand spells not just one.  
  
"But the most disconcerting thing is that this spell's foundation is something that isn't in our data records at all! It's completely unpredictable, some of the spells that we know are inactive at times until the base of the spell changes it's structure and switches the spells. It usually happens when we're trying to really delve into the base of the spell. It's very extraordinary actually. It's as if-"  
  
Willith finishes quietly, "It's covering its tracks..."  
  
****  
  
GGGROAAWWLLLL  
  
Goku groans as her stomach begins to protest its lack of food. She sighs and goes to look for the ouji, currently training in the GR. {Kami, eating only eggs all the time is going to kill me! But I only know how to make breakfast! If only Veggie would actually cook for me once in a while...} She reaches the GR and bangs on the door, "Hey Veggie! You in there?!"  
  
A gruff voice answers, "Yes! What do you want?!"  
  
The younger saiyajin asks, "Do you want to spar with me?"  
  
The whirring of the GR goes down as the metal door opens and Vegeta's head pops out. Goku smiles serenely, wearing the gi that he had gotten for her, including the 'ouji-boots,' her ebony hair tied up into a sleek ponytail. The warm rays of light reflect off of the metal exterior onto Goku, making her seem to glow. A large lump forms in his throat and a blush line crosses his cheeks. He thanks Kami his face was hot enough from training to cover it up. He coughs and says, "W-well, I'm not sure that's such a good idea."  
  
Goku frowns in confusion, "Why?"  
  
{Too much body contact.} Vegeta sighs, "Look you're just-"  
  
The younger saiyajin narrows her eyes and demands, "You aren't afraid of hurting me are you?"  
  
Vegeta yelps, "What?! Why would you say something like that?!"  
  
Goku smirks playfully, "Maybe cuz I'm a girl now. But I bet I can still kick your butt!"  
  
"You can not!"  
  
She sticks out her tongue and grins, "Can so!"  
  
Vegeta growls, "I'll show you!" He immediately charges at Goku, readying himself to do a powerful punch. The younger saiyajin laughs and easily dodges it, then puts a hand on Vegeta's shoulder, teleporting them both to a secluded mountain area. Vegeta shrugs her off and takes an offensive stance, smirking, "You're serious, aren't you?" An excited grin answers him and Goku also takes an offensive stance.  
  
****  
  
"AAUGH!!!"  
  
A scream rings out of the valley as Vegeta slams Goku into a mountain side, reducing it to rubble. The ouji smirks but a huge ki attack comes out of the rock aimed straight at him. He knocks it out of the way but then Goku suddenly flashes behind him and smashes both her hands over his head, sending him flying.  
  
Vegeta stops himself in midair and flips around to face Goku once again, rubbing his hand over the place that she had just hit. {Kuso, that's going to be a big bump.} Slightly panting for breath, he observes the other fighter, noting her deeper breathes and heavier sweating. His eyes widen in surprise, {Is she actually lagging behind?}  
  
He decides to test it out. Putting on a smirk, Vegeta says haughtily, "Come on, Kakarotto. You can do better than that! Or am I really getting too tough for you?"  
  
Goku smiles, "We'll see about that." She starts up her trademark move, "Kaa Meee-  
  
Meanwhile Vegeta starts up his own, "Fiinaaal-  
  
"Haaa Meee-  
  
"FLASH!!"  
  
"HAAA!!"  
  
Two ki blasts erupt from their hands, soaring directly at each other, until they impact. Equal in ki, they balance out, forming two large hemispheres, striving to overpower the other. Vegeta yells, "I'll show you!" He pours more energy into his attack and his opponent does the same. The entire area is tinted with bluish-white as they fight to subdue each other. The hemispheres grow bigger and the enormous energy from the blasts causes the earth below them to crack and crumble.  
  
The ouji watches his opponent straining to keep up and thinks, {Alright. Time to end this.} He exerts an extra burst of energy and his attack swallows Goku's and heads straight at her. She barely manages to dodge it and it explodes against the side of a mountain, the impact blowing her away as well.  
  
Vegeta catches her before she flies against another mountain and shields them both from the second wave. Finally when the energy disperses and the dust settles, the area is reduced to nothing but a barren crater.  
  
The small figure in his arms, shifts uncomfortably and grasps him with small delicate fingers. A wave of guilt washes over the ouji. It seems such a crime to hurt someone so beautiful... He flushes with embarrassment, but then Goku speaks up, "Looks like we kind of overdid it," her eyes surveying the area.  
  
Still unnerved by his thoughts, Vegeta says slowly, "Yeah, I suppose so..." {Since when did I ever worry about delicacy?}  
  
Goku suddenly smiles brightly, "Well, congratulations! Looks like you beat me!"  
  
The ouji blinks in surprise, "I did?" And the realization fully hits him. His eyes widen in excitement and a large grin lights up his face, "Ah ha! I did! I beat you!" The fact he just beat a girl completely escapes his mind. He whoops elatedly, "I beat you! I can't believe it!" He immediately hardens at the awareness of acting so childish and coughs, "Ah, well, of course I beat you! I'm your ouji!" Goku laughs, but Vegeta adds almost grudgingly, "But I had to admit, you were really off in this fight."  
  
The younger saiyajin sighs, "Yeah, I know. I think the transformation must have taken away some of my strength."  
  
Vegeta smirks, "Well, that just means you have to be the one training to keep up this time."  
  
Goku smiles, "That's alright. I need a challenge. Besides it's only temporary." At this her sparring partner slowly stops smirking, a small ruffle of disappointment weighing him down. Oblivious, Goku says, "You can let go. I think I can fly back." He nods and lets her go, and they gradually fly their way back to Capsule Corps.  
  
****  
  
Bardock watches his laptop screen carefully, making sure the ouji isn't making any pass at his daughter, whatsoever. Satisfied he closes the laptop and it disappears with a snap of his fingers. The shadow of King Enma's Palace begins to wane as the light source slowly orbits the world. The angel glances at his watch, wondering what's taking the ou so long. He hears two voices hissing at each other quietly from around the corner and stiffens, turning himself invisible.  
  
Bejita peeks around the corner and frowns, seeing no one there. He walks into the shadowed area and mutters, "That's odd, he's always so early."  
  
"I'm right here."  
  
The ou turns around and shrieks. He demands, "How did you- Where were you-"  
  
Bardock smirks, "I was invisible." At the devil's questioning glance the angel says, "It's a trick I learned."  
  
Bejita says intelligently, "Ah."  
  
Looking around, the angel suddenly frowns, "So exactly to whom did the other voice belong to?"  
  
The devil-ou says nervously, "Uh... Barudokko-San..."  
  
Bardock groans, his wings automatically sagging, "What the hell did you do now?"  
  
Bejita laughs, the edgy tone still evident, "Well, it's not 'to whom did the other voice belong to,' it's 'to whom did the other VOICES belong to.'  
  
At once, Bardock jerks, clutching at his chest, and whispers hoarsely, "Oh Kami, I think I'm going to have a cardiac arrest!"  
  
Bejita turns red, "Oh come on! It's not that bad!" However Bardock is already on his knees, crying out in pain. The ou protests, "Hey! At least you know her!"  
  
Immediately, the angel stops his foolery and blinks in confusion, "Her?"  
  
His friend nods, smirking, "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised." He turns back at the corner and yells, "You two can come out now!"  
  
But as the two figures walk past the edge of the building, the angel turns as white as a sheet, his black hair and brown tail becoming incomprehensibly more pronounced in his already colorless garments. One of the figures is Ruby, adorned in a rich green velvet dress, suitable for only royalty. She smiles at Bardock warmly, although there is still a regal air to it, much like the type of smirks that the ou would give him. However, she is not the one making the angel quake in his boots.  
  
The other person is a medium built saiyajin female with short cropped jet black hair and a very haughty manner. Her battle armor is much different from the queen's attire and is fairly evident of her former, lower status in life. Nonetheless, Bardock knows for a fact that she is close friends with the queen, an alliance that is most often times used against him to get what that female wants. The angel gulps and says weakly, waving to the lower ranked female, "Hello Celipa."  
  
The female saiyajin's eye twitches and she says slowly, "Hello Celipra?" At the dangerous tone, Bardock automatically takes a step back away from her. But she just advances on him in turn, seething with rage, "Is that all you have to say to me after nearly 40 years of being apart?!"  
  
Bardock pleads, "Honey! Please! I can explain!"  
  
Celipra continues to press on to him, "You didn't even bother to visit me down in hell!"  
  
"But Celli, I was in heaven!"  
  
The ou turns to his mate and says, "I thought you said that she wanted to see him."  
  
"Or call! I thought that once they installed that interdimension phone line you'd at least call me once in a while!"  
  
"But I didn't mean-"  
  
Ruby smiles in amusement, "She does, but just for different reasons."  
  
"Just because you're up in heaven and I'm in hell doesn't mean you can be so high and mighty that you can't even see me once in a while!"  
  
"Celli, please calm down! It's not really that big a deal!"  
  
"CALM DOWN?!!! YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?!!"  
  
Bejita groans in defeat, "He is definitely going to kill me later," as the two royals watch Bardock vainly attempt to reason with his hysterical mate. 


	7. Here's where the drama comes in

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
****  
  
Goku sullenly watches the tube, depressed from her fifth loss in a row. She knows that she shouldn't, that it was Vegeta's time to shine, but still... it's just irritating! She just couldn't fight like she used to! A stab of hunger pangs her in the stomach, and she clutches at it in pain. She moans, {Kami! If only I could get some real food! But that means either eggs, sick of that, pancakes, sick of that too, or rice pudding, which I am getting sick of fairly quickly. If this keeps up I won't be able to eat breakfast anymore for the rest of my life!}  
  
The sound of padding feet catches her attention and she turns her attention from her stomach to the figure coming up behind the couch. Goku looks back at the TV again, ignoring the annoying internal pains, "I haven't healed from our last fight yet."  
  
Vegeta humphs, "I'm not planning on fighting you today." He plops down onto the couch next to her and smirks mischievously, "I'm going to retrain you."  
  
Goku's head snaps back and yelps, "What?!"  
  
The ouji says smugly, "I believe that you heard me."  
  
The younger saiyajin stammers, "B-but my style works best-"  
  
"For your old body. You don't have the edge in battle that you used to because your brute strength is gone. So you have to learn to rely on your other... uh... edges."  
  
Goku frowns in confusion, "You mean these?" pointing to her chest.  
  
Vegeta blushes furiously, "NO! Of course not! I mean like speed and agility! With a smaller frame you should have the same compensation that I do."  
  
Goku says, "Oh... So I can copy you!"  
  
The ouji yelps, "What?! No! You can't!" This is not going the way he wants it to. He continues, "Ma Ling Fo Qua has been passed down to me from generation to generation of the royal house of Bejita-sei! Only royalty is allowed to use it!"  
  
The other saiyajin frowns, "Ma Ling Fo Qua? What does that mean?"  
  
Crossing his arms, Vegeta answers smugly, "Royal butt-whoopin' style." Goku blinks and stares at him blankly, but suddenly bursts into uproarious laughter. Ticked off at not getting what's so funny, the ouji yells, "What?!"  
  
"Royal butt-whoopin' style?! That's the vocabulary that kings use?! Ha ha!"  
  
Vegeta turns beet red and demands, "Well what's it supposed to be called?!"  
  
Taking him seriously, Goku stifles her laughter into a small grin and a couple chuckles to think of a good name. She smiles as an idea pops into her head and says enthusiastically, "How about Mosquito Style?"  
  
The other face vaults, "WHAT?!"  
  
Excitedly, Goku nods, "Yeah! You're really small and fast and always dart around me in an annoying way."  
  
Vegeta says incredulously, "Annoying?!"  
  
The younger saiyajin grins, "Yeah, and like a mosquito, you take a punch at me/suck my blood and I, with my great size and strength, am hardly affected!" demonstrating by flexing her feminine biceps. The corner of the ouji's mouth twitches as he controls a laugh. Seems like Goku forgot that she's a girl now. Goku continues in her own eager fashion, frequently stressing her points with her body gestures. "Then that's when I, like the giant humanoid to the mosquito, pull a finishing move on you that ends the match/squish you like the little insect that you are!"  
  
Vegeta stops seeing the humor immediately. She just unintentionally insulted him! He glares at her in annoyance, {Only KAKAROT can pull off something like that.} He comments dryly, "I just ADORE your use of analogies," his voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
Goku smiles, "Thank you!" oblivious as always to the ouji's cynicism.  
  
Quickly losing his patience, Vegeta demands, "Do you want to learn my style or not?!"  
  
The other blinks in confusion, "But I thought that you didn't want me to-"  
  
Vegeta points outside towards the GR and yells, "Just get over to the Gravity Room!"  
  
****  
  
It is yet another perfect day in the angels' sector of heaven. The sun is shining. There's not a cloud in the sky. And the cherry blossoms are still in full bloom, never wilting from the sun or the lack of rain. And Bardock is once again cursing it as he walks up the blaringly white marble steps to the Angel Headquarters, "Kami dammit. What I would give for just one rainy day."  
  
He goes inside to the reception room and to his surprise sees that Qu'pac isn't there behind the desk. Confused, though he doesn't show it, the angel goes to the substitute receptionist, a feline like alien that he's never seen before. The saiyajin asks, "Hey, what happened to the guy that was here before? Y'know the really fuzzy brown, round one?"  
  
Yellow eyes flick up to meet his and the receptionist says formally, "He's been recruited to a scientific team led by Willith. He won't be here for a while." She asks courteously, "Is there anything else I can help you with?"  
  
However, lost in his one thought, {Man, poor Qu'pac,} he doesn't hear the words coming from her mouth. Once he realizes that she asked something, he shakes his head to clear it up, "Sorry. I came here to get my assignment, too."  
  
The feline angel opens up the registry and asks, "Name please?"  
  
"Barudokko. First Class."  
  
She mumbles, "Alright..." but then she suddenly does a double take. "Barudokko?!" Staring at him intently, the angel says in disbelief, "You can't possibly be him!"  
  
{Oh great, what rumors have been spreading about me now?} Bardock sighs, "Look, I'm Bardock okay? The saiyajin angel. Black sheep of my whole species and of heaven. Must I show you some I.D.?"  
  
The angel's eyes look behind the saiyajin and widen when they see the furry brown appendage coming from the back of his robe. She says quickly, so quickly it seems to Bardock that she's frightened, "No that's alright!" She nervously fumbles down the registry and quips, "You must report to the Platinum Room to get your assignment!" She slaps closed the book and says tensely, "Please, have a nice day! Please!"  
  
Bardock raises an eyebrow at such strange behavior, but just shakes his head and starts towards the Metallium Corridors. Then another feline angel comes up to the receptionist and says in a hushed voice, "Filo? Was that who I thought it was?"  
  
Filo nods her head vigorously and whispers, "Yes! It's the saiyajin abomination!" She puts a hand to her chest and sighs, "Kami, I was so scared! I thought that he was going to bite my head off!"  
  
Her friend hisses, "Shhh! Not so loud. Saiyajins are supposed to be able to hear a whisper hundreds of dregules away!"  
  
****  
  
Sighing, Bardock ruffles his hair with his hand, drearily walking down a sterile white corridor towards the Platinum Room. {Just great. This has to be the lowest I've ever been. Now everybody's afraid of me! I can't wait until I get out of here.}  
  
Walking past a dark corridor, the saiyajin suddenly hears a hushed, "Hey! Bardock!"  
  
The angel turns in the direction of the whisper and glares into the dark hallway, "Who's there?"  
  
A little fuzzy brown hand comes out of the shadows and beckons him into it, "It's me! Come here!"  
  
Bardock readily complies and hides in the shadow along with his friend, "Qu'pac? What is it? What's the matter?"  
  
Qu'pac says, "Look, people are getting awfully suspicious around here about you."  
  
The saiyajin merely rolls his eyes, "Tell me about it."  
  
"No! That's not what I mean!" Bardock frowns, his attention caught. Qu'pac continues, "Willith's starting to get funny ideas about you. He thinks that you turned that saiyajin, what's his name, Kakarot! He thinks that you turned him into a girl!"  
  
The saiyajin's heart nearly stops in his chest and a great burst of excitement is threatening to erupt from his mind. {Yes! People are finally suspecting me!} However, the angel says as calmly as possible, "That's really stupid of him."  
  
Qu'pac says urgently, "Well he thinks that he can back it up! So you have to be extra careful about what you do around him and his lackeys... especially since..."  
  
Bardock's eyes burrow into a frown, "Especially since what Qu'pac?"  
  
The fuzzy alien says remorsefully, burying his round face into his small hands, "Oh Bardock! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!"  
  
The saiyajin angel says in alarm, "What?! What did you do?!"  
  
"I told him... that you wanted to go to hell..."  
  
Bardock says in disbelief, "Wh-what?"  
  
Sobbing, Qu'pac says, "Now he's going to get you! And he's going to get you any punishment but going down to hell! Even if you are guilty!" He cries, "I'm sorry! He cornered me and... and... I didn't know what to do! He forced me to tell him how you always wanted to go down to hell with all the other saiyajins! I'm sorry!"  
  
Suddenly Bardock's knees feel weak and he stumbles against the wall to support himself. {Oh Kami, no. All my hopes! Gone down the drain! I'll never get out of here now...}  
  
His friend shivers and sobs, "I'm sorry. C-can you forgive me?"  
  
Bardock looks down at the tiny outlining of the fuzzy alien and sighs, "Yeah. It's alright I forgive you. That's what angels do." {And it seems like I'm going to be one forever.}  
  
About a minute later Bardock leaves the shadowed corridor and remorsefully continues his walk over to the Platinum Room, feeling like all his troubles just planted themselves on his shoulder and are painfully starting to wear him down. Unknown to him a white-blond angel watches from a cracked open door. The blond angel cackles evilly when he sees the mere shadow of the Bardock's former self. {So it is true. Don't think I'm through with you yet.} And he quietly closes the door.  
  
****  
  
~Meanwhile~  
  
After nearly an hour of listening Vegeta lecture and watching him demonstrate several positions of the Ma Ling Fo Qua, Goku starts feeling the effects of absolute boredom. She tries to cover up a yawn, but the ouji notices her movement out of the corner of his eye. He straitens up from his current position and Goku asks innocently, "Why did you stop?"  
  
Vegeta growls, "I refuse to teach you if you aren't paying attention! I'm not doing this for my health!"  
  
The younger saiyajin says quickly, "I'm sorry, Veggie! But I've seen you do this stuff in every single one of our fights! I practically memorized everything!"  
  
Calmly, the ouji replies, "Show me."  
  
Goku blinks, "Uh... okay." She pops up from the floor and begins performing several routines that she's seen a million times before. At first she's hesitant and does the moves very carefully, but then as she does it more, she becomes more confident and the moves flow better, until she's practically performing the moves as if she's done it her whole life.  
  
When she feels like she's done enough, she stops in front of Vegeta, grinning widely. But to her surprise the ouji just shakes his head in amusement, "Nope. You're getting it all wrong."  
  
His student yelps, "What?! But I just-"  
  
"Did what you saw. In fact you copied my technique perfectly. Good..." The ouji's eyes narrow, "but not good enough. You don't have the feel for it."  
  
"The feel...?"  
  
Vegeta smirks, "I'll show you." By sudden impulse he stands right behind her and slides his hands down her arms ending by intertwining his fingers through hers. For reasons unknown to her, Goku feels a hot blush rise to her cheeks, glad that Vegeta can't see her face. Then, with the precision and ease of a master of his technique, the sensei guides the student's hands into the several positions that she was just performing earlier.  
  
During which, Vegeta whispers into her ear, "Can you feel it now, Kakarot?" his warm breath nipping at her ear and making the hairs at the back of her neck rise with the nervous anticipation.  
  
Goku blushes even more, {I definitely feel something.}  
  
"It's everything that makes a true saiyajin. The love of the fight, the incentive for victory and domination... That's in every method used. But can you feel that other side too?" He wills her body through more extensive moves, including shifting of the feet and position of the hips. Feeling the control that he has over her and feeling the heat of her body against his, Vegeta can't help but become more enthusiastic in his teaching. He hisses, "Lust, hatred, pride!... and passion. Oh Kami, you can never forget THAT. Can't you feel all the saiyajin in you boiling up? Bubbling to the surface? Can't you feel it?!"  
  
Mesmerized by his voice, the different formations and movements turn into an intricate dance, expressing all of the emotions that the ouji described to her. But suddenly Goku feels so weak, her body nearly falling out from under her. She becomes too overwhelmed, the room starting to disappear in a dizzying pit. She whispers, "Stop."  
  
Vegeta almost doesn't hear her, "What?"  
  
Goku whispers even more urgently, "Vegeta. Vegeta, stop it. Stop!"  
  
The ouji complies immediately and demands, "What is it! What's wrong?" She doesn't answer him as she sinks into his arms, falling into the subconscious. The darkness swarms her and the last thing that she hears is a faint voice screaming her name.  
  
****  
  
Miyanon: I just realized how much fun cliffhangers can be... When you're on the giving end of course. 


	8. Drunk angels and soaked oujis

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
A/N: Sake is an alcoholic drink made from rice.  
  
****  
  
Up in Ruby's office on the highest floor of her saiyajin hall, she, Bejita and Celipa watch the ou's crystal ball with worry as they see the ouji frantically trying to wake up the younger saiyajin that had passed out in his arms. Celipa moans, "Oh Kami, my baby..." Ruby pats her friend's back comfortingly.  
  
The devil scowls darkly, "She obviously hasn't been feeding herself right. It's not healthy to eat only eggs and pancakes for a week. Maybe a ningen could get away with it but definitely not a saiyajin!"  
  
Ruby mutters, "If only your son had at least cooked for her once in a while."  
  
Bejita raises his eyebrows and demands, "Why is he always MY son when he does something bad?!"  
  
His mate yells in reply, "Because he gets all his bad traits from you!"  
  
"He does not!"  
  
Interrupting the two bickering royals, Celipa stands up and yells, "That's IT! I can't take this anymore! I'm going there to help her!"  
  
The queen grabs the back of her armor just as she is about to stomp out of the office and says, "Celli! Don't be ridiculous! There's nothing we can do! The only dead people that can go to the mortal world are the angels!" At this all three pause and look at each other gleefully with the same idea in their minds. Ruby asks, "Bejjie, can we go and get Bardock-san from heaven?"  
  
Bejita purses his lips and sighs, "There's no way we can get up to the angel's sector. The only time I can ever see him is at our meeting place by the palace."  
  
Celipa says determinedly, "Well then let's go up there and hope for his sake that he's up there too!"  
  
****  
  
Peering up into the empty bottle, a certain angel is making due with the last drop of his sake and tosses away the bottle over his head. Bardock hiccups and reaches for another bottle by his side, but accidentally knocks it over. He mutters, "Oh drat," and saves it before all the sake goes to waste. Downing the intoxicating drink once again, his face gets even more flushed from his drunken state.  
  
Then a familiar voice says, "Bardock! What the hell are you doing?!" The angel lazily looks for the source of the voice and sees three figures standing over to the right of him.  
  
Bardock smiles lopsidedly when he recognizes them and says, "Oh I'm just having a lil' drink. Turns out that I can't... can't get good n'- what was it? Drunk! I can't get drunk n' heaven so I came here to just myself that way n' then I can forget EVERYTHING!" He holds out his bottle to Bejita and hiccups, "Want some?" Frowning, the ou tries to grab it away from him, but the angel is too quick to snatch it back. Bardock says, "Too bad! Only us angels can have it! And I'm going to be one forever! Forever! FOREVER!" He suddenly flops onto his back and starts laughing maniacally, caught somewhere in between sobbing and laughing at his whole situation.  
  
Bejita sweatdrops, "Um... are you okay?"  
  
The angel stops laughing immediately and throws the bottle of sake at the ou, screeching, "OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU- YOU OLD COOT!" Bejita easily catches the porcelain bottle and casts a worried glance to his mate, who reflects it back right at him.  
  
Ruby says calmly, "Look, Bardock-san, we just came here to tell you that there's some trouble in the mortal world."  
  
Ignoring her completely, Bardock pours some sake onto the fluffy ground from yet another bottle that he has, watching the milky white liquid flow from the top. He mutters almost incomprehensibly, "Izn't it so weird how everything from heaven is white? EVERYTHING is white. I bet Willith even pisses white."  
  
Celipa, already burning red with embarrassment, turns onto the angel in a fury. "BARUDOKKO! CAN'T YOU EVEN LISTEN TO YOUR QUEEN?! SHE'S TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT OUR CHILD'S IN TROUBLE!"  
  
Bardock rolls his head up to face his mate and frowns, "What? What are ya talking about?"  
  
Celipa seethes, "Our baby's in trouble! And all you can do is just sit there getting yourself more drunk!"  
  
The angel smiles, "That's not a bad idea," reaching for a different bottle. His mate snatches it away from his grasp and Bardock protests, "Oh come on, I'm sure Raditz is fine in hell."  
  
Narrowing her eyes, Celipa hisses, "I meant our other baby! The one that's down on Earth! Kakarot!"  
  
Bardock's eyes widen and he unsteadily stands up, leaning himself against the wall of the palace. He growls, "You mean, that bakayaro no ouji is harassing her again?!" He stumbles towards the edge of the cloud and yells, "I'll- I'll show him! I'll electrokewit him a thouzand times if I have to!"  
  
Bejita grabs the angel's robe and yelps, "NO! That's not what we mean!" He pauses, "... What do you mean electrocute him?! You've done it before?!"  
  
Bardock yells, "AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN IF I HAVE TO! NOW LET GO!" The angel tries to escape from the Bejita's hold, but the ou doesn't give way and tightens his grip around the white satin cloth. Bardock whines, "Oh come on! It doesn't hurt him THAT much!"  
  
Bejita narrows his eyes and yells, "THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOUR BEHAVIOR!"  
  
He throws the angel onto the ground and Bardock winces, rubbing his bottom, "Aiee! That hurt!"  
  
The ou neatly slaps him across the face and yells, "SHUT UP! YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF YOUR KING! NOW STAND UP AND PAY ATTENTION LIKE ANY OTHER SOLDIER!" Wide eyed, the saiyajin does as he says, saluting him and the ou continues, much more calmly this time, "Barudokko! Your daughter has passed out from food exhaustion and is in danger of dieing! Now I am ORDERING you to go down to Earth and use all your power to save her!"  
  
Bardock says nervously, "Y-yes sir!"  
  
Ruby frowns, then looks down into her bag, brightening when she finds a small vial filled with some transparent amber liquid. She quickly goes over to the two male saiyajin and says, "Here, this should help Bardock back to his senses. Just a drop should do." She carefully holds the vial above the angels head until a droplet escapes the vial and lands upon the saiyajin's head. Both Celipa and Bejita watch him questioningly.  
  
At once Bardock's flushed appearance almost disappears, yet there is still a faint line of red across his cheeks. Then he suddenly moans and clutches at his head, in pain, "Oh Kami! My head!"  
  
Ruby smirks, "That was why I didn't think of it before. You may be relieved of your drunken state, but you get the hangover of a lifetime... or afterlife time."  
  
The angel winces, "Well you could have warned me. Does anybody have an Alka- Seltzer?" Celipa just smacks him upside the head. Bardock yelps, "Hey! Ow! What was that for?!"  
  
****  
  
Vegeta gently places the unconscious saiyajin down onto his bed and sits on the edge of the mattress, feelings of nausea threatening to make him join the female saiyajin in her state of unconsciousness. He didn't know what the hell to do! In times of crisis, he was always cool and collected, prepared for any situation with a steadfast plan. But never in times of peace had he even thought of what to do in case the younger saiyajin just passes out for absolutely no reason! Frustration and anger at his predicament are wearing down his already strained nerves. He mentally slaps himself and thinks, {Come on! Quit feeling sorry for yourself! Just think! There has to be some way to help her!}  
  
The ouji feels for the younger saiyajin's ki and starts to panic when he feels it lowering even more. "Kami! No!" He rushes over to her side and takes her shoulders, trying once again to shake her awake. "Come on! This is no way to go!" However, she just hangs limply in his grasp.  
  
Panic rises in his chest and he yells, "TEMEE!!! I REFUSE TO LET YOU GO LIKE THIS!!!" He tries to figure out some way to feed energy into her so that she can last longer until he can figure out what to do. He remembers the CPR classes that Bulma forced him to take and how Goku can use energy donated from other beings. Applying the two together, he channels his ki into his palm and a small glowing orb forms. Vegeta mutters, "Here goes nothing." He puts the hot little orb into his mouth and leans over Goku, ready to spit it into her own open mouth.  
  
Vegeta looks at her hesitantly, wondering whether this is such a good idea or not. Then the little ki really starts to burn and without another hesitation he presses his lips to hers and breathes the orb into her mouth. He instantly checks her ki and to his relief he feels her ki rise just a little bit. However, he can already feel it start to dwindle away. No longer reluctant, he channels more ki into his palm, making sure that it's small enough for the younger saiyajin to swallow and repeats the process. But the progress is so slow, and he has to go quickly so that all his effort won't whither away with the rest of her energy.  
  
Soon he realizes what a wasted effort it is, but the ouji absolutely refuses to give up. He decides a different approach and channels his energy into his mouth rather than his palm so that he can donate to the other saiyajin more efficiently. Once again he presses his lips against her warm ones, his ki flowing into her like the golden breath of life... which is pretty much what it is.  
  
That's when Bardock makes his appearance.  
  
Still recovering from his major hangover, the angel comes upon the two saiyajins right when Vegeta has his lips pressed against Goku's. Bardock's eyes widen in shock then immediately narrow into little slits and he goes ssj. Vegeta's eyes bulge out when he feels the enormous energy and slowly turns around to see the super saiyajin angel towering above him, glowering with an unimaginable rage. Bardock says slowly, "Kisama... How dare you... HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER IN THIS STATE?!!!" And with this he blasts into ssj2 for the first time, filling the entire room with a blinding light.  
  
Vegeta yelps, "But I wasn't-!" Not listening to him at all the ssj2 angel lashes out at him and knocks him unconscious. Then he boots the poor ouji out of the window out into the open sky. His hangover completely forgotten, Bardock breathes heavily, the transformation taking a toll on him. He slips out of his ssj form, his hair and eyes, fading into black. The angel turns his attention to his daughter, still unconscious and unharmed from his change.  
  
Bardock makes a small smile and slowly chants a holy hymn. Goku's pale appearance is replaced by her usual complexion, and her haphazard breathing is down to calm slow breaths. Convinced that she'll be fine from here, Bardock decides not to take any more time in case anyone *cough*Willith*cough* is keeping tabs on him and finds this activity to be somewhat suspicious. He plucks a feather from his wing and places it in her open hand. Then he gives his peacefully resting daughter a kiss on the forehead, before he fades away into a golden haze. The smoke blows away, out of the window the angel just threw Vegeta out of.  
  
All that remains in the room is Goku, sleeping soundly, clutching a long soft white feather in her grasp.  
  
****  
  
By the edge of the Mediterranean Sea, the gulls are swooping over the water and the beach, constantly searching for scraps of food left over by the tourists who come to the Sicilian shores everyday in the hot roman summer, to view the beautiful cerulean waters from the high standing cliffs. A big gray gull perches itself on the high plateau, overlooking the sea, and ruffles its feathers, making itself look bigger to the other gulls.  
  
Suddenly a white gloved hand comes up the cliff and grasps the rock right next to the bird, making it fly away screeching with fright. Another hand comes up and pulls the rest of the body up, revealing a completely soaked to the bone saiyajin no ouji. Even his usually gravity defiant hair is down around his head and face from the weight of the water. Wheezing for breath, Vegeta pulls himself onto the cliff edge, and lies down on his back, trying to gulp down some much needed air.  
  
Oblivious to the bystanders watching around him, the ouji brings himself up to a sitting position and shakes the water off of him like a dog, and his hair poofs up to it's usual flame like appearance, if not a bit more messy. He looks around at the tourists watching him in wonder and snaps, "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!"  
  
Even if they didn't know English, they could understand his threatening tone and they hurriedly scamper away. Except for a Japanese couple who decide to take a picture of the ouji before running away as well. Vegeta growls in annoyance and stands up, looking around at his surroundings. He isn't quite sure what happened so he tries to collect his thoughts together.  
  
{I remember trying to rescue Kakarot... Then there was that huge light... Wait a sec! That was her father! Bardock!} The ouji burns red with embarrassment as he recalls how he was so easily attacked and then he figures that Bardock must've had something to do with his waking up in the middle of the Italian sea. He clenches his fist and growls, "Kuso... That baka angel! I don't care what he says about not getting close to Kakarot anymore! I WON'T STAND FOR THIS TREATMENT!" He screams in fury up at the clear blue sky, "DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU WRETCHED GOOD-FOR-NOTHING ANGEL?! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PROTECTIVENESS! I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH KAKAROT! DO YOU HEAR ME?! WHATEVER I WANT!!!"  
  
Then a whitish-gray blob falls from the sky, right onto his face, and Vegeta yelps, bringing a hand to the targeted area. He touches the white substance and looks up at the sky. A whole flock of seagulls is flying right above him. The ouji says with disbelief, "They... crapped... on me..." He suddenly bellows with rage and starts to blast the birds, "HOW DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE SCUMBAGS!!!" The seagulls scatter from the cliff side to escape the temporarily insane ouji, but he just follows them up into the sky, blasting away, "I'LL SHOW YOU!!! I'LL TEACH YOU NEVER TO CRAP ON A PRINCE EVER AGAIN!!!"  
  
All the meanwhile the same Japanese couple that saw him before is snapping away pictures of the elevating ouji on their expensive digital camera. The thin husband turns to his wife and says in Japanese, 'I can't wait until we show these to tousan. He'll never believe it.'  
  
****  
  
Miyanon: *big grin* I think that was one of my best chapters yet! I'm so proud! And please review! You too, anonymous reviewer who derives such pleasure from haunting me! To everyone else, it's an inside joke. Sorry. 


	9. Scents, weather, and trouble

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
****  
  
~Flashback~  
  
[Vegeta] clenches his fist and growls, "Kuso... That baka angel! I don't care what he says about not getting close to Kakarot anymore! I WON'T STAND FOR THIS TREATMENT!" He screams in fury up at the clear blue sky, "DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU WRETCHED GOOD-FOR-NOTHING ANGEL?! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PROTECTIVENESS! I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH KAKAROT! DO YOU HEAR ME?! WHATEVER I WANT!!!"  
  
~End Flashback~  
  
The words of his vow still ringing in his ears, Vegeta lands in the front yard of Capsule Corps already tinted red with the setting sun. He sighs and sorely walks back into his mansion, relaying the words in his mind. The whole thing doesn't settle too well with his stomach and a nervous feeling arises from his gut.  
  
Do WHAT exactly?  
  
Walking up the stairs, he starts peeling off his brine encrusted shirt and drops it into the wooden hamper on the way over to the shower. With all the dried salt and the seagull crap, his germ phobia is going to need a nice long, hot shower to be satisfied with his cleanliness. Not that he minded. On the way he stops over by his room and sees, to his annoyance, that the younger saiyajin is still sleeping in his bed. He shrugs it off. Oh well, no doubt Bardock took care of her, even though she would have been fine with just the ouji's help. He spots a long slick feather in her hand, confirming his deduction. For reasons unknown to him he shivers, despite the temperature being very warm in the house.  
  
He heads into the bathroom connected over to his bedroom intent on taking his shower in there, Goku or not. But if she decides to wake up while he's in there and without even knocking, walks inside, he is going to be one severely pissed off ouji.  
  
****  
  
...Well that didn't happen.  
  
After staying a good two hours in the shower and successfully turning himself into an ouji prune, Vegeta comes out and finds Goku still sleeping quietly in his bed. The sun had already set, and a bluish white beams flow into the room coming from the mere sliver of a moon. The light beams land upon her peaceful visage and highlight all her delicate curves, making her look like a saiyajin goddess. The ouji's eyes glaze over and he whispers, "Kami... So beautiful..." He subconsciously starts to tread slowly towards her, his hand reaching out in longing.  
  
Suddenly a humungous explosion interrupts the ouji's trance, and he rushes to the window to see two cars had collided together right on the street and are the verge of erupting into flame. Then the shock hits him full force, leaving him dizzy and light headed. What the hell was he doing?! He had to be in some sort of spell or something! Attracted to Goku like a moth would be to a light. Only, he has to remember, Goku's a bug lamp. If it hadn't been for that explosion...  
  
Suddenly Vegeta feels a tremendous respect for drunk drivers.  
  
Nerve shot, Vegeta decides he better put Goku into her own bedroom for the night. Gently picking her up from his satin sheets, so as not to wake her, Vegeta quietly carries her to her room. He places the younger saiyajin in her own bed and pulls the light comforter over her. He steals a shy glance at her and to his relief, no longer sees the beautiful goddess that was so exquisitely displayed in the moonlight. Instead he notices a little trail of drool coming from her mouth.  
  
Rolling his eyes, he uses the blanket to wipe it off and pulls the feather from her fingers and puts it on her bed stand. Goku rolls over in her sleep onto her side and curls into a comfortable fetal position. A ghost of a smile graces the ouji's lips and he finds the key to Goku's bedroom door. He exits into the dim hallway and locks the door, then jutting the key under the wooden board into Goku's room. Sure he could break down the door, but hey, he felt a little... "safer."  
  
Tired and worn, Vegeta flops onto his used queen sized and plants his face onto his pillow. He curses himself for even thinking about taking advantage of Goku when she's unconscious. His eyes pop open and thinks, {What the hell?! I should be disgusted for being attracted to her at all! She's my rival! My most hated enemy!... Okay, maybe Yamcha's worse. But still! How could I be attracted to such a beautiful, kind...} He just stops trying to think once he realizes where his train of thought is going. Sitting up onto his knees, he smacks his head against the wall a good fifty times.  
  
After giving himself a very bad migraine Vegeta figures he better think about something else while trying to get to sleep. He quickly decides that as soon as he's awake the next day, he'll find some way to eradicate all the seagulls on his planet... Oh yeah, and figure out how he's going to exact revenge against a certain saiyajin angel. And figure out what the hell was wrong with Goku in the first place.  
  
Sighing, the ouji takes a long breath and leans more into his pillow to sleep. He smells the deep musky scent of the shampoo and smiles at its familiarity and takes an even longer breath to take in the raw scent. Suddenly he bolts up from the bed. Wait a sec! His shampoo doesn't smell like musk plant! He pulls down a strand of his gravity defiant hair and smells it. It's the damned lavender and watermelon kind! The kind Bulma always gets for him because he hates it! Then what about...  
  
All the color drains from the ouji's face as he recognizes what it is... Goku's scent... It's still lingering on the bed even though he moved her already. He shudders when he realizes that he actually enjoyed the smell and reveled it. He mutters, "Oh Kami, when did I get so perverted?" He grabs the sheets and pulls the pillow cases off of his pillows and brings them all downstairs to wash them... Problem is he doesn't know how the hell to use a washer. And he doesn't have any other sheets to use either. So it's either sleep with Goku scented sheets or attempt to wash them. Down in the basement, Vegeta, the great and powerful saiyajin no ouji, stares at the small washer completely and utterly stumped at how to use it. He groans in defeat, "I am not going to get any sleep tonight," and tries to decipher the foreign ningen symbols.  
  
****  
  
Bardock glares out the window of the Angel Headquarters hatefully. The sun is bright..... again. This just tips the angel's annoyance into anger. A cool breeze is blowing... again! Bardock can just feel his anger starting to accumulate. The sky is cloudless.. again!! He turns redder and redder by the second. Willith is out harassing people with his goons... again!!!  
  
"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!" Turning ssj2, Bardock stomps towards the door, cursing the most obscene profanities known on this side of the galaxy.  
  
Staring in shock, the instructor and fellow students watch the angel storm out of the room, only for Bardock to come right back in to sit back in his seat and write something down on the golden paper that was given to him before, and he gets up, slaps the paper into the instructor's hands, then storms out just as angry as he was before.  
  
The instructor blinks in surprise and turns back to his students and snaps, "What are you looking at?! Get back to your tests!" The students quickly turn their attention from the door back to their papers. Shaking his head, the teacher looks down at the saiyajin's paper, only to sweatdrop. Bardock just got 110% on his Anger Management final test. Groaning, the teacher thinks, {I don't know whether I should expel that saiyajin or make him valedictorian.} A couple of the telepathic students snicker.  
  
****  
  
Qu'pac sighs, playing around with his model of the spell on the cursed saiyajin on Earth, his eyes drooping off once again. The other scientists working on the project look over his direction and begin to chuckle. Obviously dozing off on the job is common place for Qu'pac. The fuzzy alien rests his huge round head in the palm of his hand, his head slowly nodding. Suddenly his head slips from his hand and smacks his keyboard, hard.  
  
He immediately wakes up and yelps, "I'm up! I'm up!" The whole room bursts into uproarious laughter. Qu'pac blushes furiously and turns back to his screen, intent on not falling asleep any time soon. He moves around his mouse, only to find that the whole entire screen is frozen. He tries pressing the buttons to see if there is a reaction. Nothing. Then he tries to turn off his console, but again it comes to no avail. The angel curses and says shyly, "Um... Can somebody help me out? I think I have a problem."  
  
Sighing, the team supervisor, the blue-skinned alien that is right under Willith, comes over to Qu'pac's station, looking quite annoyed. "What did you do this time?"  
  
Qu'pac meekly points to his screen, and the supervisor glances down at it, only to do a double take. He moves in front of the screen and uses the computer with ease, as if it wasn't broken at all. Qu'pac glares at it furiously, waiting for the supervisor to reprimand him for wasting time. Only the head angel doesn't do that. Instead he turns onto the fuzz ball alien with big teary eyes and says happily, "Qu'pac! You little rascal! I can't believe it! You've found the link!"  
  
Qu'pac blinks, "I did? Oh right! I did!..... What did I find exactly?"  
  
Other angels flock over to the little angel's station to come and look at the screen. The blue-skinned supervisor says excitedly, "Qu'pac, you've just found the root of the foundation of the spell!" He points to the core, a fifth dimensional composed of nothing but what seems like thread thin spikes, constantly shifting in a million different directions at once. Qu'pac is hardly able to contain his awe. But at once the supervisor's eyes narrow scrutinizingly at the screen.  
  
Then he stands up and faces the other angels who have gathered around. In a solemn tone he asks, "Has anyone here ever heard of GI'larma?" The group looks among themselves curiously. Seeing no one being able to answer, the blue-skinned angel continues, "GI'larma is a spell foundation that was strictly forbidden for any angel's use. It has been that way for millions of years."  
  
One angel says jokingly, "Gee, we didn't think you were THAT old!" With that the other angels laugh collectively.  
  
The supervisor glares at them, silencing them immediately. He growls, "The only reason that I know about it is because I actually studied about the ancient spells, unlike anyone else here it seems!" He points to the spiky mass on Qu'pac's screen and demands, "Do you know why this was banned?!" Silenced reigns, so the supervisor continues, "Because it's the most dangerous, unpredictable, spontaneous and sinful spell that is known on the face of this heaven! Only a true genius could even hope to handle it correctly! It's a miracle that the saiyajin the spell was put on is still even alive!"  
  
Qu'pac stares at the screen and asks quietly, "Sir? If it was one of the angels that used it, then what would their punishment be?"  
  
The blue-skinned angel answers, "Banishment to hell for sure. No questions asked." He begins a new round of orders, giving each team member a new assignment.  
  
Qu'pac doesn't pay attention to it as he wanders into his own thoughts, {Banishment to hell? Well, I know a certain angel that would love to hear this. Hopefully it'll make up for my half betrayal before.} Suddenly a hand lands on his shoulder and he jerks up, shaken by the sudden contact. He looks up to see the supervisor hovering over him.  
  
The head angel says warmly, "Alright, little guy. How about you take a break? You deserve it, I think. I'll make sure that you get rewarded for it later."  
  
The little fuzz ball angel nods and hops out of his chair going off in search of his saiyajin friend. Just as he's making his way into the Metallium Corridor, he suddenly stops, an idea hitting him. He bites his bottom lip in glee as he goes over his "master plan." Then a familiar ki heads over his way and Qu'pac immediately recognizes it to be the angel he was just looking for.  
  
Still blazing ssj2, Bardock storms down the hall, almost not noticing his little friend, until Qu'pac has to grab his pant legs himself. The saiyajin looks down and blinks, "Qu'pac? What are you doing here? I thought you were working on that spell."  
  
His friend grins, "Yeah, but they let me have a break."  
  
Bardock smiles, "I don't know why they'd give you a break. All you ever do is sleep anyway." He points a thumb over his shoulder to the direction he was heading and asks, "Hey, since you're not doing anything, do you want to help corrupt the weather control center with me?"  
  
Qu'pac pales under his brown fur, "B-but Bardock! You'll get in real big trouble for that!"  
  
The taller angel frowns, "So?"  
  
His friend just sighs and says, "Whatever. Sorry, but I have something to do."  
  
Shrugging, Bardock says, "Suit yourself. See ya." He resumes his march, although considerably quieter this time.  
  
Grinning with glee, Qu'pac heads for the main entrance of the Angel Headquarters, going over his perfect plan once more, {I can't believe it! I'm such a genius! All I have to do is frame Bardock for being the one who made the spell! And then Willith won't have any say in it at all! And then Bardock can go down to hell like he wants! Hahaha! I guess I was naturally smart, wasn't I?} Suddenly he runs smack dab into a wall.  
  
The little angel shakes his head and punches the wall, "Hey! Watch where you're going!" He turns to the left still grinning like an idiot.  
  
**** 


	10. Wakings, caught redhanded, and the Quest...

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
****  
  
Basking in the warm light of the morning sun, the last female saiyajin stirs in her sleep, finally coming out of her stupor. The first sensation that she feels is the soft plush of her own pillow and the warming rays of light falling upon parts of her bare skin from the open window. She sighs and smiles too comfy to even think about moving out of bed.  
  
Suddenly her stomach roars.  
  
Goku gasps, "Ah Kami!" quickly sitting up and clutching at her pained abdomen. She takes in her surroundings, suddenly wondering how in the world she got into her own room. And how long her stomach's been neglected. Her stomach cries out again and she winces in pain.  
  
That's when she whiffs the scent of home cooking coming from the hallway. Entranced by the smell, Goku licks her lips hungrily and drops from the bed onto her feet, following the smell to its source, completely uncaring of any of her other surroundings. Without really realizing it, she suddenly finds herself in the kitchen, sitting down in front of a humungous plate of breakfast foods. Looking up, she sees the ouji smirking at her. "Hungry?"  
  
Goku grins, "Ravenous!" And without much further ado, she digs into the food, nearly inhaling it.  
  
Watching, while the female saiyajin gorges herself, Vegeta frowns at her, wondering again why she passed out in the first place. Goku quickly shows him her empty plate and asks, "Can I have some more please?"  
  
Blinking, the ouji says, "Uh... Sure." He puts more food onto her plate and she finishes it almost as quickly as he hands it to her.  
  
Grinning sheepishly, Goku says, "More please?"  
  
Vegeta stares at her incredulously. "What the hell?! You've already eaten three times more than you usually do! And if you haven't noticed, THAT'S A BIG THING!!!"  
  
Goku shifts uneasily, "Well I guess I'm just really hungry."  
  
Slamming his hand down on the table, the ouji yells, "That's not good enough!" startling the younger saiyajin. "Now I want to know why you passed out because I think that your appetite has something to do with it!"  
  
Flinching from the verbal attack, Goku quickly gives in, "Alright! Alright!... I think I passed out because... Uh..." She flushes with embarrassment, "I was kind of... not eating..."  
  
".......You were WHAT?!"  
  
Goku turns as red as a beet and squeaks, "I'm sorry! It was stupid! But hey! You know I do stupid things, right? I mean you call me baka so often that-"  
  
Vegeta cuts her off with a death glare, and puts another full plate of food onto the table. "Eat. Now."  
  
The younger saiyajin bows her head, "Yes sir," looking down at her plate and eating just as enthusiastically although a bit more politely for the ouji's sake.  
  
Glaring at her angrily, Vegeta demands, "So why did you decide to kill yourself?"  
  
Goku choked on a sausage and looks up at the ouji and says, "Look, Vegeta, I wasn't trying to do anything like that. I just got sick of eating the same types of foods all the time. So sick that it actually made me ill to even look at it." She looks down at her empty plate and asks, "Do you have more?"  
  
The older saiyajin sighs, "No more hash browns and sausage." He opens the fridge and says, "I can make some eggs." At the word eggs, Goku's face turns a greenish tint, failing to go unnoticed by the ouji. He narrows his eyes and pulls out a blue cardboard box from the freezer, "Eggos it is then." He warms them up with his ki and tosses them onto Goku's plate, then asks, "Kakarotto, if you were so damn hungry then why didn't you just go out into the woods and hunt for yourself?"  
  
Goku pauses ravaging her waffles just long enough to stare at the ouji blankly. She says quietly, "I didn't think of that. Then again I don't think well on an empty stomach!" She grins and goes back to devouring her food.  
  
Vegeta nearly smacks himself across the forehead for her stupidity. He glares at Goku, "I swear, you have to be a natural blond or something." The younger saiyajin quickly finishes up her eggos and looks up at the ouji pleadingly. Vegeta scowls, "You ate everything in the kitchen. And we didn't put any of the reserves in the fridge yet."  
  
Pursing her lips, Goku thinks out loud, "Well we could always go fishing."  
  
Vegeta blinks, "What?"  
  
Goku grins and says excitedly, "Yeah! I like that idea!" She jumps up and grabs Vegeta's hand, "Let's grab some poles and we can go right now! I know a great place in the woods near my house!"  
  
"Poles?!"  
  
"Oh never mind, we can just catch them with our hands."  
  
"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"  
  
****  
  
Watching his crystal ball in the shadow of the massive Otherworld Palace, Bejita waits for Bardock, irritated at his tardiness. Then he feels that familiar warm breeze signaling the angel's arrival and turns to see Bardock walking towards him, looking very sullen. Bejita asks, "You weren't late because of that band you're in again, are you?" disproval very apparent in his tone.  
  
The angel mutters, "I quit the band a while ago." He sits down next to the ou and asks, "What's up?"  
  
Frowning at his friend, Bejita answers, "Well not much. Your kid's awake and... And why is there a yellow sticky on your back?"  
  
Bardock yelps, "WHAT?!" He tugs at his white robe and sees that there is indeed a yellow sticky stuck to his back. He pulls it off and reads, 'I did the spell on the cursed saiyajin.' The angel's eyes bulge out and he yells, "Holy frick! This is Qu'pac's handwriting!"  
  
Bejita blinks, "Qu'pac?"  
  
Bardock nods, "Yeah, the only friend-ly acquaintance I have up there," making sure not to use the word 'friend' in front of the ou. "He looks like a big brown cotton puff, about this high," holding his hand about three feet off the floor. "He's cool, but he's definitely not the brightest... Which is obvious from this prank he decided to pull!"  
  
The ou looks at it with little interest and asks, "But don't you want the angels to figure out that it's really you?"  
  
The angel mutters, "Everyone of them except Willith!"  
  
Eyeing his friend strangely, Bejita asks, "Who the heck is Willith?!"  
  
Bardock answers with a shrug, "An archrival I managed to pick up..."  
  
~FLASHBACK~  
  
Gazing around the humungous white entrance hall of what later became known to him as the infamous Angel Headquarters; Bardock looks around with bewilderment and confusion clearly written upon his face. One minute he was standing in this humungous line chatting away with Bejita along with all the other deceased saiyajins, the next minute he suddenly ends up here.  
  
He walks around the center of the building, staring up at the fresco painted ceiling and suddenly slams into something, hard. He falls down onto his butt and looks up to see that the thing he slammed into is also on its butt. A beautiful white-blond girl with the most magnificent feather wings that Bardock's ever seen. Bardock gets up hastily and offers the girl a hand, "Um, sorry about that."  
  
The girl takes it and pulls herself up, smiling gratefully. She says in a tenor voice that seems too low for her, "Thanks."  
  
Bardock frowns, "Do you have a cold or something? You sound like a boy."  
  
The angel widens her eyes, ".....I am a boy....."  
  
Bardock looks at her blankly and suddenly breaks into laughter, "You?! A BOY?! That's the funniest thing I ever heard!"  
  
The blonde girl stomps her foot angrily and yells, "I AM A BOY DAMMIT!" By now Bardock is rolling in fits, pounding the ground with his fist, laughing so hard tears come to his eyes. The angel seethes angrily, glowering at him hatefully.  
  
The saiyajin stifles his laughter into little chortles and reaches his hand up to right below the angel's waist. He smirks, "Well, I suppose I'll have to check huh?"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
Without much modesty, Bardock just ignores the angel's quibbling and does the official Pat Pat test. He immediately blinks and says, "Oh. You are a boy. Sorry."  
  
Willith clenches his fists until his knuckles turn white and he punches Bardock square in the face. "You little braggart! I'll make you pay for that! I swear I will!" He storms off in a raging fury.  
  
Bardock yells after him, "Oh come on! It was only a little misunderstanding!"  
  
~END FLASHBACK~  
  
The saiyajin angel chuckles, "He's never really forgiven me for that."  
  
Bejita blinks, "What?"  
  
Bardock smiles, "It's nothing." He sighs crumpling up the sticky note and tossing it over the side of the cloud, "Well what's done is done. I just gotta ask Qu'pac why the hell he did that later."  
  
Looking back into the crystal ball, the ou asks, "Want me to hex him for ya?"  
  
"NO! I mean, no. I think that's quite alright. I'll handle him myself."  
  
They both watch the crystal ball in silence as they watch Goku leading Vegeta over a forest. Suddenly Bejita demands, "What do you mean you electrocuted my son before?!"  
  
Bardock stiffens up and yelps, "What?!"  
  
The ou glares, "You said that when you were drunk because my son was molesting your daughter, which he has not done once!"  
  
"Yes he-! Uh, I mean, you can't really trust anything a drunk person says right?"  
  
Bejita watches him suspiciously and asks, "Bardock, did you or did you not electrocute Vegeta?"  
  
Bardock laughs nervously, "Well you know, it's the funniest thing... Um..."  
  
"YOU DID ELECTROCUTE MY SON?!"  
  
The angel moans, burying his face into his hands, "Oh crap."  
  
****  
  
The two saiyajin land on a small pebbled shore right next to a large, fast flowing creek that Goku always fished in when she was still a he. Vegeta casually takes in the surroundings and says irritably, "Alright, let's get the fish and get out of here."  
  
The younger saiyajin takes in a deep breath of the woodland air and says, "Oh come on. Fishing is supposed to be relaxing." Vegeta just humphs and folds his arms crossly. Goku eyes him curiously and says, "Well you're being really irritable. Well, okay you're acting more like yourself out of this weird streak of niceness, but there has to be a reason."  
  
The ouji pales, {Streak of niceness?! She actually noticed?!} He says nervously, "W-well, I- I just want to get this over with! I have training to do!"  
  
Goku sighs and holds out her hand towards the stream, "Well then be my guest." Vegeta stares at the stream and looks back at Goku, who grins mischievously, and looks back at the stream. The younger saiyajin smiles even wider at his hesitance, "I see... You don't know how to fish do you?"  
  
Vegeta yells, "Yes, I do!" Goku narrows her eyes. "No, I don't..."  
  
Goku smiles, "Good boy." The older saiyajin just sulks. Goku rolls up her pants up to her knees and wades out into the stream. She beckons the ouji over and says, "Come on! I'll show you how to do it! It's really fun!"  
  
Vegeta huffs, "No thanks! I'd rather go to a ningen distribution center!"  
  
It takes Goku a second to figure out he's talking about a supermarket. She just shakes her head and looks around in the water. "Alright, but you won't be getting any fish from me." The ouji just turns away from the stream, still looking cross. After about a minute he realizes that Goku isn't pressing him any further. He looks back and sees Goku warily watching the water for any signs of movement. He notices a couple fish already stranded on the pebbly beach and turns his attention back to the younger saiyajin.  
  
Holding her hand above the water, she stays as motionless as a statue, her eyes taking a predatory gleam as she watches for her prey. Vegeta smiles. Saiyajins always did take animalistic pleasure in the hunt. For some odd reason, he's suddenly glad that her being raised on Earth had not impacted her saiyajin instincts in the slightest. Swiftly, Goku's hand slices the water's surface like a knife and she pulls out another flapping trout and she adds it to her pile already collected on the beach.  
  
{Well that doesn't look hard.} The ouji looks down at the water and then pulls off his boots and rolls up his pants as well, joining the other saiyajin in the brisk water. Goku looks up from her area and smiles when she sees that the older saiyajin has come in as well, but goes back to her own fishing so as to not make the ouji feel awkward.  
  
Vegeta watches Goku's stance and copies it, gazing intently at the water for any signs of fish. Suddenly something slimy brushes against his thigh and he jumps out of the water, howling in fright. Levitating above the water, Vegeta demands, "What the hell was THAT?!"  
  
Goku looks up and laughs at the expression on the ouji's face. "Veggie! That was only a fish! That's what it feels like when they brush up against you!"  
  
"Fish my ass! That felt like- like an EEL! Or a giant humungous WORM!!"  
  
The younger saiyajin giggles, "Oh yeah, you don't like squiggly things, do you?"  
  
Vegeta growls angrily, "Don't mock me! After all the crap I've been through, you'd despise them with every fiber of your being, too!" But Goku just continues to laugh. The ouji fumes angrily and suddenly points behind Goku, "Look! It's a giant needle!"  
  
Goku shrieks, "NEEDLE!!!" Flailing madly, she manages to fly behind Vegeta for protection, "NO, GET IT AWAY! DON'T LET IT TOUCH ME!!"  
  
The ouji laughs, "You BAKA! There are no giant needles! Especially not in the middle of a forest!"  
  
Goku glares at him, "That wasn't nice!"  
  
"HA! You deserved it! Trying to lure me into a stream full of icky, slimy, squiggly monstrosities!"  
  
The younger saiyajin just throws her hands up in the air in exasperation and says, "Fine! We can borrow some poles from my house!"  
  
"Again with the poles thing! What are you talking about?!"  
  
Goku says, "It's a long pole that has a line and a reel-"  
  
"-And you're losing me again."  
  
Goku scratches her head and frowns, "Okay, how do I explain this so that you'll get it? It's a stick with a string attached to it and a sharp, metal hook is attached to that. That's what you stick through the live bait so that the fish will bite down on it and get the hook snared through the top of their mouths. Then you basically have to drag them through the water onto shore by pulling in the string while they futilely fight for their meager little lives."  
  
Vegeta blinks, "That sounds gruesome."  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Cool."  
  
**** 


	11. A fishing disaster and uh oh Gohan knows

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
****  
  
Goku licks her sticky fingers and grins at the ouji across from the small fire that they had built. A small mound of delicate bones replaces what was once a flopping pile of trout that the two saiyajins had managed to fish out of the river. She notes with satisfaction, the insatiable manner in which Vegeta consumes the fish, glad that she managed to please him once again.  
  
Obtaining the rods to go fishing was easy enough. Everyone had been out of the Son house at the time, so getting the rods had been a snap with Goku's Instant Transmission. What came after was a complete disaster.  
  
Vegeta absolutely refused to put any bait on his hook unless it was something besides worm or leeches, which was all that Goku had. They had to go all the way over to Capsule Corps just to get cheese, but it turned out there wasn't any. So then they had to go to the supermarket where Goku had attracted a lot of unwanted attention with her new body, much to the annoyance of her and the ouji.  
  
When they finally came back and started fishing, Vegeta kept on hooking himself trying to toss out the line into the water. Goku had to teach him every basic step of fishing from the beginning. Several lost and broken fish hooks later, the ouji had finally gotten the hang of it.  
  
But then he got impatient waiting for the fish to bite and ended up scaring them all away with his powering up.  
  
Goku sighs and leans her head onto her hand, watching Vegeta eat the last bit of his fish. At least they managed to get some fish in the end. And whether Vegeta wanted to admit it or not, they had fun wrestling a particularly big 7 footer onto the river bank. Idly, Goku's eyes wander down to Vegeta's muscled chest and she starts thinking about how alike the ouji is to one of those dark chocolate caramel filled candies. So dark and bitter on the outside, and yet so sweet and gooey within. At least that's what it seems like with the behavior that he's shown her lately. Goku blinks, {Did I just compare him to chocolate? Wow, I must still be hungry.}  
  
Suddenly the ouji's voice catches her attention. Vegeta smirks, "Like what you see, Kakarot?" 'Oh Kami, please do.' He shakes his head in slight confusion, {Where the heck did that come from?}  
  
The younger saiyajin looks up from Vegeta's chest and says apologetically, "Oh sorry for staring. I guess I was just daydreaming." She looks back to his chest and says, "By the way, you have fish juice on your shirt."  
  
Vegeta glares and looks down at his shirt in annoyance, noting the yellowish stain on his white tank shirt. {I suppose she isn't attracted...} He mentally slaps himself and growls, {Well why should she be?! She's probably still a freakin' man at heart!... But is she really?} He decides to experiment.  
  
He starts taking off his shirt in slow deliberate steps, showing off every fined toned muscle that he can in the process. Goku stares at him incredulously, "Vegeta, what the heck are you doing?"  
  
The older saiyajin answers coolly, "I'm going to take this to the river to see if I can wash out the juice." He gets up and stretches his body in the same slow and antagonizing manner that he did taking his shirt off. He smirks and thinks, {Now what right minded saiyajin female wouldn't want a piece of this?} his narcissism blatant. He glances over at his companion to see her reaction and stares at her in disbelief.  
  
Her back is turned to him and she is calmly working on gathering the fish bones together so that she can get rid of them all at once, completely ignoring the ouji's show. Vegeta blushes madly and picks up his shirt to go over to the river, {I can't believe I was doing that!} A little arrogant thread of disappointment also laces his mind, adding to his embarrassment.  
  
Once Goku feels the ouji heading over to the river side, she turns around slowly, making sure that he isn't paying any more attention to her. Seeing his back turned to her, she falls back onto her butt, letting out a sigh of relief. She lifts her hands to her face and inspects them carefully. They'd been shaking the whole time that she was watching him. And she was painfully aware of the strong pull in her body that just told her to go and touch him. She shivers, {What the hell was THAT?} Not only had the ouji surprised her, but her body had as well. She'd never reacted that way to anyone taking off their shirt before. Not even to ChiChi when they get ready for bed together, even though that hasn't happened in a long while. Even before she was turned into a girl. She shakes her head slowly, {Kami, everything's been a mess since I've been turned into a girl. I don't know what's what anymore.}  
  
Suddenly Vegeta calls out her name in the middle of her disturbed thoughts, making Goku nearly jump in fright. The ouji yells again, "Kakarot! Hurry up! We need to get the poles back before any of your baka family notices they're gone!"  
  
Goku says shakily, "A-alright Vegeta. I just need to clean up and then we can teleport over there." With that she faces her palm towards the pile of fish bones and blasts them into ashes.  
  
****  
  
Bejita says sternly, "Alright Bardock. Are we clear on the whole 'electrocuting my son' issue?"  
  
The angel rubs his black eye and scowls, "I can't."  
  
"Exactly." Then the ou adds, "Besides, the more you electrocute him, the more people are going to think that you completely disagree with this whole thing."  
  
"But I DO."  
  
Sighing, Bejita leans onto the back of the palace wall and asks, "Why do you object to this so much anyway? Even Celipa agrees with this."  
  
Scowling, Bardock looks off the edge of the cloud that he's seated on, overlooking the Earth. "I just don't like it. You're forcing my child into this."  
  
Bejita scoffs, "Nobody's forcing her! She'll fall in love with my son all by herself. Kami knows, Vegeta already has the hots for her."  
  
The angel's head snaps up and he yells angrily, "By herself?! What about those moonbeam charms and the repellant spells?!"  
  
Bejita sweatdrops and takes a couple steps back from the enraged angel, "B- Bardock, calm down! That's just a little -help?" Bardock blasts into ssj2 and towers over the ou, his eyes completely pupil-less. The ou says quickly, "Okay, maybe it's not necessary. But do you really want to take them off?" A glare. "Okay! Okay! I'll call Ruby and get her to take them off!"  
  
Bardock nods and says, "Good. I've had enough meddling."  
  
Bejita says flatly as he takes out his pitchfork, "And turning my son into a living lightning rod isn't?" Another dangerous glare. Bejita says quickly, "Shutting up now." He plants the pitchfork into the ground and taps on it a couple times. He says lightly, "Ruby? Honey? You there?"  
  
A small shriek. And the queen yells, "Bejita! I told you not to do that!"  
  
The ou send the ssj angel a glare and he says, "Sorry Ruby, but I need you to take off the moonbeam spells and repellant charms."  
  
Silence. Then Ruby says, "First of all it's moonbeam charms and repellant spells. Second, DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT WAS TO PUT THOSE ON?! WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THEM OFF FOR?!"  
  
Bejita protests, "Ruby! Please! You have to! Or else Vegeta's going to turn into a frizzled popsicle stick!"  
  
"...What?!"  
  
"Please!"  
  
Ruby sighs, "Oh fine. But you better give me an explanation right-" Bejita taps on his pitchfork again and the line goes dead.  
  
The ou looks back on his friend and says in annoyance, "There? Are you happy now?"  
  
Bardock nods and grins, "Perfectly."  
  
However, things of a different sort transpire in HFIL. Ruby growls in annoyance as she takes out her black magic books to repeal the spells. "Of all the times to take the spells off, it has to be when the Hall's in the middle of an ogre invasion." A loud crash from downstairs confirms the mini war. She opens the book to the pages necessary and mutters a few ancient words, nullifying the spells.  
  
After that's through she leans back into her plush leather chair and taps her fingers together in thought. A smirk worms its way onto her face and she says to herself, "Well, I may had to have taken off the moonbeam charms and the repellant spells, but nobody ever said I couldn't a binding spell on them."  
  
****  
  
Slowly, the door to the Son household opens and two heads pop into the dark entrance way. Vegeta whispers, "Anyone there?"  
  
Goku does a ki check and shakes her head, "Nope. No one." With poles in hand, they sneak into the house and head up to the storage closet on the second floor. It feels odd to the younger saiyajin to actually be sneaking around her own house, but if she doesn't want ChiChi to figure out who she is...  
  
Suddenly, a wave of discomfort falls upon the two saiyajins, but it leaves as quickly as it came. Goku yelps, "What the heck was that?!"  
  
Vegeta growls, "How the hell am I suppose to know?!"  
  
Suddenly the lights turn on in the hallway and they face Gohan and ChiChi, who are staring at them in shock. Goku's eyes widen and she thinks, {How in the world?! How did they sneak up on us like that?!}  
  
Gohan's eyebrows knit together in confusion and he asks, "Um... Vegeta? Who is this and... what the heck are you doing here?"  
  
ChiChi scowls, "Really, ouji, don't you think that plaguing us when Goku isn't even around is a bit much?" Her eyes flit over to Goku and they widen in shock, "Oh you! You're Bulma's cousin! Kayka! What are you doing hanging around with Vegeta? In my house I might add?"  
  
Goku laughs nervously, "Uh... hehe, um..." She looks at the poles in her hands and brings them out, "We were borrowing fishing rods? Vegeta said it was okay."  
  
Gohan and ChiChi both glare at the ouji through narrow eyes. Vegeta stutters in protest, "I-I said no such thing!"  
  
The raven haired housewife sighs, "Sure you didn't, ouji." She takes Goku's arm and smiles, "Come on Kayka, I'll show you around our home properly, then I'll make you some tea."  
  
The younger saiyajin blinks, "Um... okay," and allows herself to be dragged off.  
  
Vegeta automatically starts to follow, but Gohan grabs his arm. The ouji turns on the demi-saiyajin angrily and demands, "What are you doing boy?"  
  
Gohan hisses, "Vegeta, what exactly are you doing with that girl?"  
  
At once the ouji pales, but his face turns red and he yells, "What are you trying to suggest?! I don't have a crush on her! How dare you say such a thing?!"  
  
The demi-saiyajin blinks in confusion, "I never said anything about a crush..."  
  
Vegeta stares at him, a hot blush threatening to take over his face. He grabs Gohan's shirt and pulls him down to his height, growling, "Kisama, if you dare say anything to anyone else..."  
  
Gohan yelps, "Okay! I won't tell!" His shirt is released and he's allowed to stand up straight. Vegeta gives him a final glare before he starts to stalk off towards the kitchen. However, Gohan suddenly says, "I suppose it's all right. That it's about time you found someone else."  
  
The ouji stops dead in his tracks and turns around, "What the hell does that mean?"  
  
Gohan just shrugs, "I don't know. You and Bulma just don't seem like lovers anymore."  
  
Vegeta says flatly, crossing his arms, "And just how would you be able to tell?"  
  
"Haven't smelled sex on you for months," Vegeta just gawks at him. But he continues, "and I don't think that it's because you're incompetent. I expected you to find some sort of intimate partner long ago." And with that last profound statement, Gohan leaves to go to his room.  
  
The ouji stares at his retreating back, stunned speechless, his mouth wagging as if he wants to say something but he can't put it into words. He stomps his foot in frustration and thinks wildly, {The nerve of that boy! I'm going to kill him! I swear I will!} His fists clench and he storms off to the kitchen. Hopefully he can convince Goku to get away from there so that he can have a good, long spar with her to beat out the implications that Gohan had suggested. 


	12. Spouse torture and Vegeta's plan

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will  
  
A/N: Well before I put up another chapter of Onnafied I have something to say. As you may notice this chapter will be different from the other ones. It's in past tense. Personally I despise writing in past tense with every fiber of my being. But since I got a couple little complaints about it *cough*chibi_vegeta*couch* I decided that I would give it a try. I merely ask that you would comment if you really care. But if I don't get any good reviews about it I'm switching back to present tense. Anyway, for those of you who really don't give a damn, (no offense to the ones who commented, I understand it was constructive criticism,) go on and enjoy this next chapter of Onnafied.  
  
****  
  
It took Vegeta only 10 seconds to find the kitchen from the second floor. {Damn, these people live in a small house,} he thought to himself, while he stepped through the open archway. Once he got inside he realized he got there none too soon.  
  
Goku was busy fidgeting in her seat, while fingering the handle of the cup of tea that ChiChi had made for her. Meanwhile her spouse was busy yapping away about all sorts of things. However, most of the one-sided conversation seemed to be about all the mundane marital problems in her and her "husband's" relationship.  
  
"And have I ever told you that he never even went to school? I honestly don't see how he could possibly set a good example for the children. I mean, I know he means well-" The raven haired housewife was on an absolute roll. Deciding this wouldn't end soon unless he put a stop to it, Vegeta coughed, making his presence known. ChiChi stopped her yapping and looked up at the saiyajin with an angry glare, "Vegeta. Do you mind? I'm trying to have a decent conversation with your cousin-in-law." If looks could kill... That would've wiped out the neighborhood.  
  
The ouji made a rude sound to that and went over to the fridge to help himself to some food. ChiChi glowered at him and took to sipping her hot drink, unaware of the grateful look that her tea buddy is giving the prince. She put down her cup and looked at Goku and said, "Well it seems our girl talk is temporarily suspended. But you haven't told me anything about yourself! You simply must tell me something!"  
  
Goku glanced over at the ouji nervously, who just shrugged with indifference. Fumbling even more with her cup, Goku started out, "W-well, um... There's really not much to me... I like to fight. I-I mean I do it as a profession."  
  
ChiChi raised an eyebrow, "You fight? Really, I don't see why us girls should even be involved in the sport."  
  
The female saiyajin stared, "What?! But I thought that you loved fighting when you were a kid!" At once Goku realized she said too much and slapped her hand over her mouth.  
  
The housewife stared at her in numb shock and asked, "How do you know I used to fight?" Vegeta watched with interest, as he made himself a sandwich. He never suspected the harpy was a fighter.  
  
Goku laughed nervously, "Ah he hehe, um... I kinda overheard it from Bulma when she was talking about when she first met you." She smiled good naturedly, "I heard you were really rambunctious as a kid!"  
  
"I'm over it, believe me," ChiChi said flatly. Then she asked, "So if you know about me, you must know my husband for sure."  
  
"You sure like to talk about him a lot," the saiyajin says sarcastically.  
  
ChiChi demanded eagerly, "Well, tell me what you think of him!"  
  
Smiling, Goku answered, "Well I think that he's awesome! He's such a great fighter! One of the best that I've ever seen! Although Vegeta's really good, too," being sure to add a compliment for the said ouji. Then she added with a slightly mischievous smile, "I also think that Goku's really handsome, don't you think?" Vegeta nearly gagged into his drink.  
  
The result is far different than Goku ever expected it would be. Very agitated, ChiChi slammed her mug onto the table and demanded, "Well if you like him so much aren't you married to him?!" Goku's face fell. This was getting too awkward for her. And she was getting to know a whole lot more intimate details than she ever wanted to find out.  
  
Goku looked up at the clock and put a hand behind her head, smiling, "Oh look at the time!" The clock read 4:30. "We really got to go." She grabbed the ouji and started walking out the back door, "Thank you very much for the tea, ChiChi!"  
  
Vegeta protested, "HEY! My food!" The sandwich lying unattended on the kitchen counter. However, Goku managed to fully drag him outside.  
  
Glaring at the door, ChiChi brought her cup to her mouth once again, mumbling to herself, "That is by far the rudest girl I have ever seen in my life."  
  
Gohan passed into the kitchen on his way out the door and glanced at the sandwich on the counter. He picked it up and smiled, "Oh thanks Mom!"  
  
"Gohan." The teenager turned his undivided attention to her. "You know that girl that was with the ouji?"  
  
Nodding, "Yeah, what about her?" Gohan asked in interest.  
  
"Don't talk to her."  
  
****  
  
Qu'pac hummed happily to himself while carrying a towering pile of papers down around the bend of the Metalium Corridor of Angel Headquarters. He was being considered for an award for discovering a new hacking technique to the core of complex spells. His friend's going to get sent to down to hell. It was been raining two days straight no thanks to said friend. Yeah, he smiled; the afterlife couldn't get any better than this.  
  
Suddenly he slammed into an obstacle in the hallway, sending papers flying all over the place. The little fuzzball yelped almost automatically, "Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He looked up at his offender/victim and was staring right at an ssj2 angel. Qu'pac blinked, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Exactly what was the idea of that little sticky note on my back?" demanded Bardock.  
  
Qu'pac said in smug innocence, "What sticky note?"  
  
A glare. "It had your handwriting on it."  
  
Nervous beads of sweat started to pop out of the angel's face, "I don't know what you're talking about!"  
  
Sighing, Bardock asked, "Why did you do something like that?"  
  
Qu'pac frowned and said, "Look, I just wanted to be the one to banish you. So I figured I'd frame you."  
  
A large sweatdrop formed at the back of the saiyajin's head, "Uh... rright. Qu'pac if you wanted to do that, why didn't you talk to me first?"  
  
The little angel blinked and shrugged, "I dunno." An even larger sweatdrop formed.  
  
Bardock thought, {Well I know he means well. But I don't think I can trust him to do this for me.} "Look Qu'pac, just forget about it. Don't worry. I'll be fine." He patted the fuzz ball on the head and headed down the hall away from him.  
  
Qu'pac huffed, {This won't do. I know he's lying. Maybe he just doesn't want me to get into trouble.} He smiled, {He's too nice for his own good! But, not to worry, Bardock my friend! I'll just try harder!} Then he proceeded to pick up the fallen papers on the floor.  
  
****  
  
Vegeta glared at Goku's ass. No wait, not her ass, her back. He shook his head violently and scowled, {What the hell is wrong with me?!} He called to the saiyajin flying in front of him and yelled, "Will you hurry it up already?! I want to get back to Capsule Corps as quickly as possible!"  
  
Goku turned over and asked with disdain, "Oh come on. Can't you enjoy the scenery?" Doubtless the lush, green valley below them was very beautiful, reminding the ouji of the rainforests of his home planet. But he just couldn't get rid of this restless feeling that told him he needed to do something. He glanced at the beautiful saiyajin in front of him and huffed, {Gee, I wonder what it is.} He was fully aware his mind was going limbo; his long buried mating instincts fighting against the rational part of his brain that told him the female in front of him was in fact a male!  
  
He sighed and thought, {If she was always an onna there wouldn't be any contest at all.} The thought slipped through to his conscious mind before the rational part of his brain could stop it. He trembled in the shock of it. Did he actually like the younger saiyajin in that way? He truly had hated Goku in the beginning, when he first suffered defeat at the third class saiyajin's hands. But over the years, the hate had waned and then it finally got to the point when Vegeta realized that they were actually friends, only six months before.  
  
However, with this revolutionary new change, part of the ouji couldn't help but feel that maybe they could go beyond just being friends. He smiled, thinking of all the positive aspects that the younger saiyajin reflected as a desirable mate. While Vegeta admitted grudgingly that Goku was pretty handsome as a man, she was absolutely stunning as a woman. He knew he wasn't exactly the deepest person there was when it came to onnas. Lust alone led him over to Bulma. But Goku was also extremely strong, and had a fierce determination and a fiery spirit. And whereas Vegeta had enough pride it came spouting out of his ears, Goku that much in honor.  
  
Were she placed like this on planet Bejito-sei before it blew up, Vegeta was confident that thousands would have vied for the right to mate her. He smiled bemusedly. Yes, she definitely was worthy enough to be his life long mate. Except for the fact that she was absolutely ignorant of her heritage, but he had long since gotten used to that. Then his little fantasy came crashing to a ruin when he suddenly remembered... She was a freakin' man!  
  
Vegeta muttered to himself, "Well that really puts a damper on things, doesn't it?"  
  
Goku eyed the ouji strangely and asked, "What are you talking about back there?"  
  
"It's nothing!" the ouji nearly yelled, a hot blush on his cheeks. The younger saiyajin just shrugged and turned her attention back to the landscape below. Vegeta reluctantly turned back to his thoughts. He thoroughly examined his thoughts, turning the idea over and over in his mind.  
  
Goku was able to look at Vegeta several times while he was so deep in his thoughts. She couldn't help but wonder exactly what he was thinking about. He had been like that for nearly an hour. Usually he'd be arguing with her in a one-sided fight over some sort of petty thing. She grinned at the thought. He was such a strange, funny little man. Of course if she ever said that to him... She didn't even have to guess at the consequences of such an action. Then she noticed that they were flying right over the domed complex and she suddenly stopped and yelled at her companion, "Hey! Veggie! We're here!"  
  
Vegeta snapped automatically, "Don't call me Veggie!" The younger saiyajin just smiled and they landed on the front lawn of the complex.  
  
"Oh lighten up, Geta!" Goku laughed, "You're always so uptight! It's like you're always constipated!"  
  
The ouji's mouth wagged in speechless protest. But Goku just grinned at him teasingly. He couldn't help but smirk and retorted, "I ought to kick your ass for that, Kayka!" Suddenly he jerked up and covered his head with his hands, waiting for some thundercloud to come out of nowhere and zap him silly.  
  
Goku frowned in confusion, "Vegeta... What the hell are you doing?"  
  
Vegeta blinked and looked up to see a clear, open sky. No sign of any danger. He stuttered, "I-I was just-" Then he sighed in defeat, "Oh nevermind."  
  
With a shrug, Goku said casually, "Well, whatever." She started heading towards the building and grinned, "Boy, I'm hungry already! I'll just go and raid the fridge! The supplies should be ready now, right?"  
  
The ouji looked up at her after a distracted pause and answered, "Huh? Oh right. The bots had plenty of time to refill the fridge."  
  
The younger saiyajin struck a fist up into the air and cheered, "Yes! Food!" And she ran over to the front door.  
  
Vegeta watched her retreating form with a small smile. Yes. After much conflicting it over in his mind, he could admit to it now. He wanted her. Very badly. But he could not have her. It was as simple as that. The smile fell. And now he felt like crap. There was no way that he could have her. She would go back to being a man in no more than three weeks. His little sliver of a chance at happiness slipping right through his fingers. Unless... he somehow managed to convince her that staying a girl would be good for the both of them.  
  
His eyes widened. Yes, it was possible that he could do it. It was against all the possible odds that he could think of though. How could he convince a former man to stay a woman, to take a risk and stay at his side? Despite all the other factors like Bulma, ChiChi, his kids, her kids. He had to convince her he loved her first. And just saying it outright would just scare her off. Somehow he had to bring out the feelings in her too. The courting had to be secretive, well planned and lengthy. But time was something that was not on his side. So it really had to be secretive, well planned and be able to work in less than three weeks. He muttered a small curse. This was going to be hard. Suddenly, a small pit of despair welled up in him. What if she didn't feel the same way?  
  
Then he realized his name was being called. He looked up to see Goku at the door, the setting sun illuminating her like a great figure in a fantasy. His fantasy. She smiled, "Oy, Vegeta? Are you going to come in or not?"  
  
He sucked it up and thought to himself, {Well, whether she feels the same way or not, I sure as hell am not going to let this chance just slip by me!} He started towards the door and added, "And if she doesn't I'm screwed."  
  
**** 


	13. Unexpected disaster and excuse me, a dat...

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
****  
  
A/N: Well guys, it looks like I'm sticking with present tense. No offense but I hate writing with past tense. Anyway thanks for commenting! And on with the story!  
  
(Okay, if you've read this chapter already, then I'm sorry to disappoint you. But I did not manage to update this story in one night. This is just a repost.)  
  
****  
  
BEEP BEEP BEEP  
  
Vegeta's eyes snap open and he nearly jumps out of bed, quickly turning off the alarm. He opens the window and takes a deep breath of the brisk air, invigorating him as if the cold air flowed into his veins. He smiles and leans on the window sill. Today is the day that he starts courting his Kayka. He feels on top of the world, as if nothing could go wrong.  
  
Suddenly he smells the faint scent of frying sausages. His smile grows into a mischievous grin. Goku won't know what hit her. Hurrying down to the dining room, he spots Goku still in her pajamas, several plates of food surrounding her. She looks up at the ouji and smiles, "Hey Geta!"  
  
He raises an eyebrow. {So she's actually sticking with the damn nickname. Oh well, I guess it makes things easier.} With a smirk, Vegeta nonchalantly sits down next to Goku and asks, "So how are you this morning?"  
  
The younger saiyajin answers gaily, "I'm great! It looks like it'll be such an awesome day today for sparring."  
  
Vegeta shrugs, "Well we could spar. Or we could, I don't know," he reaches over for piece of French toast, softly grazing the back of Goku's hand, "spend the day to get to know each other a little better?" He bites the toast and smirks at Goku's reaction.  
  
A small flutter in her ki. A skipped heartbeat. She definitely feels something from that. He almost breathes a sigh of relief. He was afraid she wouldn't respond at all. Now he just needs to figure out whether she's uncomfortable about it or not.  
  
Taking an empty mug from the table, he fills it with coffee from a pitcher on the table. All of a sudden something seems odd about the situation. He frowns, "Wait a sec. I thought that you can't eat anything that you can cook since you're so sick of it." He looks into his mug and adds, "And I thought that you didn't like coffee!"  
  
Goku shrugs, "Well it's not really that big a deal."  
  
Vegeta mutters, "Oh yeah?" taking a sip from his coffee.  
  
"Mirai cooked." Vegeta jerks and sprays coffee all over the table. Goku yelps, "Hey! Hey! Careful!"  
  
The ouji demands, "Why the hell didn't you tell me he's back?!"  
  
A voice asks, "Why does she have to?" Vegeta looks up and sees his future son carrying another plate of food from the kitchen. Mirai smiles at the younger saiyajin, "Here you go, another round of hash browns and sausage." He sits down and frowns at his father, "You have my coffee cup."  
  
Vegeta numbly hands the mug over. Goku cheers and vigorously sets to eating this plate of breakfast foods and Mirai laughs, "Geez, you have a big appetite."  
  
Watching the duo through narrow eyes, Vegeta demands, "Mirai, what are you doing here?"  
  
Mirai takes a sip of his coffee and answers, "Well Mom figured that she didn't really need me for the Conference so she let me come back by myself. But Chibi's staying over there with her because of the home schooling. She still plans on coming back in three weeks."  
  
Vegeta makes a small, "Hn," inspecting Goku and Mirai with even more scrutiny.  
  
He watches the fond way that Mirai glances at the other saiyajin, and the grateful looks that Goku's giving back to him.  
  
His left eye twitches.  
  
****  
  
Bardock glares at the papers on the desk in front of him, despising them with every fiber of his being... at the moment.  
  
Every year, each angel is required to take an intelligence test, standardized for everyone in heaven. If they fail, then they have to go back to boot camp for two months. If they pass, they get reassigned to different types of jobs, depending on what they get for the test. And seeing as Bardock was more cunning than book smart, he never did manage to get any high positions. Not that he minded. It was less work. The only problem is the test is about three hours long.  
  
The saiyajin angel groans and stares at the first question. 'What is the maximum velocity difference between an Earth African sparrow and an Earth European sparrow?'  
  
Bardock mutters, "Why in the world would anyone know that? What the hell is European anyway? And the damn thing isn't even multiple choice!" He hears a snickering behind him and pales when he sees Willith already done with half the test. The white-blond angel sticks out his tongue in mockery. Bardock shakes his head, unimpressed and flicks him off.  
  
A voice snaps, "Barudokko! Eyes on your paper!" The angel reluctantly complies. Tapping his pencil eraser on the desk, he decides to go onto a different question.  
  
2. What is the average size of a coconut?  
  
3. What is the migration path of the African sparrow?  
  
4. What is Counselor Malverick's favorite color?  
  
5. What is the French word for cheese omelet?  
  
And the list goes on and on. Bardock stares at the paper, and then neatly snaps his pencil in half.  
  
****  
  
After breakfast, nearing late morning, Vegeta's agitation is shining through, loud and clear.  
  
"MIRAI! FIX THE GRAVITY ROOM DAMMIT!"  
  
Mirai rolls his eyes and mutters, "Jeezus, why does he think I'm mom?" He heads towards the front entrance and sees Vegeta standing in his casual attire by the door. He frowns, "Uh father? I thought you were training in the GR..."  
  
The ouji growls, "Does it matter how the damn thing was broken? Just fix it!"  
  
The teenager sighs, "Hoo boy," stepping outside. Once he does, his eyes nearly pop out of his socket. What remained of the GR is only a small pile of metal and scrap. Most of the GR seems to have been vaporized. Mirai's jaw drops and he turns to his father and demands, "Father! What the hell did you do to the gravity room?!"  
  
Vegeta smirks and shrugs, "Broke it."  
  
"BROKE IT?! YOU HAD TO HAVE BLASTED IT INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION! THERE'S ALMOST NOTHING LEFT!"  
  
The ouji pats his son on the shoulder and says, "Well then, have fun making a new one." He goes back inside the complex and slams the door. Smiling with content, he searches out his only subject's ki. He finds her in the living room, once again reading 'The Prince and the Pauper'.  
  
Before Vegeta can even say anything, Goku says, "I can't train cuz Mirai's here. I just remembered that."  
  
"Well, we don't have to train then," the ouji replies. "My offer from breakfast is still up." Goku fiddles with her book a little more than necessary. Vegeta sighs, {Maybe I'll just have to be blunt.} "Have you ever been on one of those ningen dates?"  
  
Goku immediately turns her undivided attention to the ouji, "Um, w-what?"  
  
Vegeta says calmly, "I've just never had a real date." He adds, almost shyly, "So, uh, um, would you want to... go on one with me? You know, for a learning experience?"  
  
The younger saiyajin stares at the ouji in mute shock. Vegeta curses inwardly. He shouldn't have tried this so early. But it was the only way it would work in the three week time span. Suddenly, Goku's face breaks into a smile, "Vegeta, I would love to."  
  
The ouji says in genuine surprise, "You would?"  
  
As if to answer Vegeta's unspoken question, Goku says, "I haven't been on a real date either."  
  
An uncharacteristic smile comes upon the ouji's face and he says excitedly, "Alright, we can leave right away! Go ahead and change if you want!" Then he rushes to his room, nearly bounding up the stairs.  
  
Goku sweatdrops, "Wow. He looks... happy."  
  
Vegeta rushes into his room and opens up his sock drawer, pulling out a big notebook. He hastily flips through the pages and stops at part A, 'Date.' He looks under the label and pales. It merely read, 'Get Kayka on a date.' He yelps, "What?! Didn't I plan anything about it?!" He starts to panic, "Holy crap! What am I supposed to do?!"  
  
He doesn't know exactly why he's going into hysterics. He didn't even get this bad when Frieza was going to kill him. Maybe because this pales in comparison in value. Or that so many things could possibly go wrong!  
  
Taking in a great deep breath, Vegeta calms down his nerves, {Alright, stop it! Just think. First, think of what to do... What's that odd expression the onna always uses? Oh right, dinner and a movie... Well Kayka can figure that out. Next is... clothes!}  
  
He turns to his wardrobe, only to be dismayed by the lack of a wardrobe he actually owns. Basically only a suit for company parties, two pairs of jeans, a few solid colored shirts, and his standard training gear. He curses, "Dammit! Now is not a time to need to go shopping!" Someone knocks on the door and Vegeta yells, "Come in!"  
  
"Hey Geta! Aren't you done yet?"  
  
Vegeta faces the door and sees Goku still wearing the same attire. He frowns, "Aren't you going to change?"  
  
The younger saiyajin shrugs, "I don't know. I guess only if we were going to some nice restaurant or something. What were you thinking?"  
  
"I honestly don't know."  
  
A mirthful laugh. "Jeez, Vegeta! You invited me!" Goku puts a hand around her chin and thinks out loud, "Well we could go to that new sci-fi movie, then pizza. What do you think?"  
  
Vegeta frowns, "I was under the impression you had to have the dinner first, then the movie."  
  
Goku blinks, "What? Where'd you hear that?"  
  
"Dinner and a movie."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"The onna always said that was the typical date."  
  
The younger saiyajin smiles, putting a hand behind her head, "Well I wouldn't know. I'm not that familiar with what dares are like either."  
  
"...You do know the purpose of them, right?"  
  
Goku answers, "Of course!" The ouji relaxes. "It's to have fun with a really good friend!"  
  
"WAK!" Vegeta falls over in shock. He quickly gets up and yells, "You baka! It's more intimate than that!"  
  
"Ano... You don't have to be so mean about it," Goku says, frowning. Then she asks, "So what are they for then?"  
  
A thread of panic goes through the ouji. {Ah SHIT! Why did I tell her something like THAT?!} He rummages for a stray jacket and says, "W-well, um... it's the kind of thing that you would do with someone you had a relationship with."  
  
"Well we have a relationship?"  
  
Vegeta says dryly, "Do we?"  
  
"Yeah! We're sparring partners!"  
  
{Typical...} "Kakarotto, I mean a 'romantic' relationship."  
  
Goku says intelligently, "Ohhh... So when you were asking me out on a date..." Vegeta's eyes widen in slight anticipation. "You did it because you miss Bulma!"  
  
For the second time that night, Vegeta slips and falls due to Goku's complete obliviousness. {Good GOD, can't she get a hint?!} he thinks while getting back up. Sighing with defeat, Vegeta mutters, "No, it's not for that." He grabs his jacket and his wallet and heads towards the stairs.  
  
The younger saiyajin frowns, "Well that doesn't make any sense! Vegeta! Hey! Talk to me!"  
  
**** 


	14. The perfect date and imminent disaster

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
****  
  
A/N: *pouts* Man, now I feel crappy about the whole present/past tense thing. Being waved off by one of my idols in a review does not go over well for me. If you guys really don't mind then I'm gonna do this in past tense. However, Incidences of Madness is staying in present tense for the principle's sake. *mutters* I still don't know who was bitching at one of my reviewers about his correction in grammar for my story, but please don't. Reviews are for the story not to review other reviewers. Hope you can get used to reading this in past tense. Anyway, thank you!  
  
****  
  
Outside an old fashioned movie theatre, the dimly lit pavement was crowded full of sci-fi geeks all aiming to cram in to see the premier show of the latest cult sci-fi movie. A group of movie goers were chatting excitedly to one another, when suddenly two people just appear out of nowhere, causing the group to give surprised shrieks.  
  
The spiky haired one snapped irritably, "Kakarotto! Couldn't you be a bit more discrete?!"  
  
"Hey, I do that here all the time. The Trekkies love it!" said his companion in defense.  
  
The group stared at the two as they went right up to the cash register. One bopped his friend over the head, "I told you the Federation is real!"  
  
Goku and Vegeta moved up to the attendant, a brown haired girl with simple oval glasses. Goku waved in a friendly manner and said, "Hey Nora!"  
  
The attendant's eyes widened at the younger saiyajin, "Holy cripes! Son Goku! What happened to you?!" Vegeta looked between the two in alarm, wondering who the hell this girl is.  
  
Goku also looked visibly shocked. "Uh, how in the world did you know it was me?"  
  
"Tch, easy. You're the only one who knows my real name," said Nora dismissively. "Besides freaky stuff always happens in this part of town. You wouldn't believe it but I saw a half-man half-alligator yesterday! Anyway," she gave Goku a very critical look, "how in the world did you get onnafied?" Vegeta looked back and noticed that certain people were listening in on the conversation. They quickly turned away with a look of his infamous death glare.  
  
Oblivious, Goku just smiled to her friend, "Oh, I just got turned into a girl by unknown forces from a different dimension."  
  
"Wow..." Nora said in awe, "That's just like episode three of Galaxz Trekkers!"  
  
"Really? I only saw episode 31 on. Who was it?" Vegeta stared at them incredulously. He and Goku were supposed to be on a date for cripe's sake! Not going around chit chatting with random people! How the heck did the younger saiyajin know this girl in the first place?!  
  
"It was Kirsten."  
  
"So she got turned into a boy?"  
  
"Nope, she was a boy."  
  
At this the Goku visibly paled, "B-but I thought she was originally a girl."  
  
Nora grinned widely. "Nope! She decided to stay a girl 'cuz she fell in love with Captain Mitchell. Speaking of which," she eyed the slowly going insane ouji, "who is this fine piece of ass?"  
  
Vegeta stared at the girl for a moment, before his expression turned into one of fury. "What the hell does THAT mean?!"  
  
Finally, someone from behind in the line called out, "Hey! Will you hurry it up already?!"  
  
Clearly perturbed and sensing the danger from keeping the ouji out here any longer, Goku put down some money on the counter and said, "I'll talk to you later. Two for Millennium Hilt."  
  
Nora nodded, "Right-o! You'll like this one!" She gave them two stubs and said into the speaker, "Next please."  
  
Vegeta yelled, "Hell no! I'm not done with you yet!" Goku sighed and started pulling him towards the theatre. Vegeta called over his shoulder, "YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF ME!!!" Everyone in the vicinity of the ouji turned to stare. Nora just sweatdropped. The younger saiyajin mentally moaned, feeling all eyes trained on them. She wondered whether dates were supposed to be this embarrassing.  
  
****  
  
The suave blond haired captain turned to the supermodel first mate and said, "Baby, I don't know if we'll make it through this one."  
  
The first mate threw back her mane of golden locks, and the camera took in her tattered clothes, artistically torn at all the right places. She wrapped her slim arms around her lover and said in a passionate voice, "But at least we'll always have each other. Even after death."  
  
The captain responded by taking off his cap and reeled her into his chest by her amazingly thin waist. "Oh Kirsten, what would I ever do without you?"  
  
"Nothing, baby, absolutely nothing." And they both drowned themselves in a deep, loving kiss.  
  
Watching the screen, very unimpressed, Goku started rating this to be the worst movie that she had ever seen in her life. Not only was the whole entire thing so full of cheese, her nickname for all cheesy drama, it was mildly disconcerting that Kirsten had almost exactly the same position that she did. She could have easily been the one kissing Captain Mitchell instead of the supermodel actress. Man, she couldn't bear the thought of it. Her eyes trailed to the ouji beside her... {Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it was Vegeta instead.} In fact the thought did seem kind of appealing.  
  
Suddenly she blushed at her thoughts. Kissing a guy?! Somewhere in there, there was some ningen upbringing that told her that such an action was supposed to be so undeniably wrong. It didn't really seem all that... wrong though.  
  
Then Goku noticed that the captain and the first mate were still going at it onscreen. She muttered irritably, "Good Kami, don't they ever-"  
  
"Kakarotto, shut up," the ouji hissed, "this is actually getting better." His gaze never reverted away from the screen, completely captivated by the movie. Goku raised an eyebrow but smiled in response and leans her head on his shoulder to stay for the remainder of the movie.  
  
****  
  
Bardock and Bejita stared at the crystal ball, completely silent. The shadow of the Otherworld Palace had grown in length right over their unmoving bodies, before they even brought their eyes away from the ou's ball.  
  
Finally, Bardock turned to Bejita and stated in a flat tone, "Beets, your son... has the worst taste in movies that I've ever seen."  
  
****  
  
Much later that night...  
  
Mirthful laughter filled the empty fluorescent lit pizza parlor. Goku put a hand over her mouth in an attempt to keep her pizza in her mouth. She quickly swallowed and said, "I can't believe that's how you got so scared of squiggly things!"  
  
"I don't see how it's so funny," the ouji muttered indignantly.  
  
The younger saiyajin held in her giggles and said, "I'm sorry. You must've been so traumatized." Vegeta looked at her through lidded, unimpressed eyes. Suddenly Goku burst into laughter and nearly fell out of the booth seat.  
  
Crossing his arms, the ouji demanded, "Well then why don't you tell me more about yourself?"  
  
Goku asked disbelievingly, "You just want me to tell you my entire life's story?"  
  
"Well can't you?"  
  
The younger saiyajin shook her head, smiling, "Nope. I'm no good at that. I, uh... tend to lose my place... We could just ask each other question. That's what you did with Bulma, right?"  
  
The sudden reference back to his 'wife' set the ouji into a perturbed mode and he said quietly, "We didn't exactly get to that part. You could say we skipped it."  
  
Sensing Vegeta's unease, Goku tried to steer the conversation away from the subject of his spouse and said cheerfully, "Well that's one new thing I learned already! So what's your most embarrassing moment?"  
  
Vegeta smirked, "You tell me first."  
  
"No way! I asked you first!"  
  
"I'm not telling until you do," said the ouji playfully.  
  
Goku laughed, "Okay, you win." She looked up in thought and said, "My most embarrassing moment... It had to be when I was a little kid..."  
  
And so the conversation continued just like it had, and nothing more was said about either of their wives. Vegeta leaned his head on his hand, soaking in every word, finding the conversation to be much more entertaining than the movie. Not that he was actually listening to everything. After all stories about flying clouds and man eating dinosaurs and taking baths with Bulma wasn't the most interesting thing in the world...  
  
Okay, so he wasn't paying attention to the words. He just admired the way she said the words with such animation and her youthful exuberance excited him, enthralled him even. He had never been so open with many people before. And he couldn't remember the last time his talks with Bulma were this enjoyable to watch... Except for that one time that she nearly broke her hip when she fell down some stairs while yelling at him.  
  
Anyone who decided to look in that lonely pizza parlor and saw the two saiyajin chatting away would never guess that they were rivals.  
  
Goku finished up the last of the pizza and asked, "So, Geta, ready to go?" The ouji nodded and waved over the night shift waiter to give them the bill, then he turned to his date and asked, "You'll be teleporting us right?"  
  
Looking outside, the younger saiyajin shook her head, "Nah, I want to walk. It's a nice night."  
  
"But it's all the way across town..." Vegeta voiced in complaint, more in fear of other males being able to catch sight of HIS girl, rather than being too tired to walk.  
  
Goku grabbed his arm and grinned, "So we better get going!" Surprised at her rush, Vegeta just slapped down a random bunch of bills that might or might not cover the pizza and allowed the younger saiyajin to drag him out into the crisp, cold night.  
  
The tired waiter came back with the bill and noticed the bank notes on the table. Slowly counting them up, he nearly had a cardiac arrest. The weird troll guy just left $1,750! And the 25 pizzas were only $250! The waiter said weakly, "Oh man, what a tip."  
  
Suddenly a cook poked his head out of the greasy kitchen and asked, "Hey, Charlie. Did those guys have enough?"  
  
Charlie stuffed the extra bills into his back pants pocket and answered, "They had just enough!"  
  
****  
  
The half moon that night casted a strange bluish glow over the park as the two saiyajin walked together along the white pebbled path, both keeping their hands well covered in their pockets. Goku looked at the ouji right beside her, watching how the moonlight played upon his face as they walked in and out of the trees' shadows, defining his features. His strong chin, supple cheeks, his moon tinted satin skin, and those beautiful endless orbs that are called his eyes. Kami, how she wishes she could just...  
  
Vegeta suddenly looked at her and Goku quickly turned away, blushing at her own thoughts. Why in the world is she thinking about him... like that anyway. All she really thought about him before were whether he wanted to spar or not, whether he was alright or not. Pretty much the same thing she had thought about all her friends. But none of them looked as delicious as the ouji did to her now.  
  
Visions of chocolate laced her mind again. More specifically the crème filled dark chocolate ones. She blinked, {Did I just compare him to chocolate again?! I guess the pizzas didn't do the trick. Maybe that's why I feel so weird... So I want to eat Vegeta?!} 'Yeah, and consume him. Maybe start with those luscious lips of his and work down his corded neck to his chest and...' Goku shivered, {What a mental image. I TOLD Geta anchovies was a bad idea.}  
  
The ouji noticed her body tremble and asked, "Are you cold?"  
  
Goku blinked, "Huh?"  
  
Vegeta took off his jacket and draped it across his shoulders, "There you go."  
  
The younger saiyajin smiled, "Thanks," even though her eyebrows slightly quirked up into a confused frown. Even more to her surprise, Vegeta awkwardly wrapped his arm around her, pulling her right up against his muscled chest. Goku mentally moaned, {Oh man, more chocolate thoughts,} as a whole barrage of disturbing ideas came to her mind. Trying to distract herself, Goku asked curiously, "So, is this what dates are like?"  
  
Vegeta shrugged, "They're all different. But the feeling and what comes after is always the same."  
  
Slowing to a near stop, Goku turned her whole attention to the ouji. "Feelings?" she said quietly. "You mean feeling like I want to..."  
  
A spark of anticipation welled up in the ouji's heart. Her held her gaze closer and went nearly nose to nose to her. "Like you want to what?" Goku could feel his warm breath on her skin, sending pleasant chills all over her body. Vegeta slightly parted his lips, looking at her with such longing eyes. Eyes that she wanted to drown herself in. Her mind instantly went on autopilot and leaned in closer and their lips barely brush when suddenly...  
  
"FATHER! KAYKA! WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS?!" The two saiyajin nearly jumped out of their skins when a familiar voice came crying out of the park. They looked up and see Mirai floating above them. Goku quickly backed away from the ouji, while Vegeta inwardly cursed his future son over and over again in his mind with every single blaspheme known in the galaxy. The teenager landed on the pebbled path and walked up to the couple, "What happened to you two? You just left without any notice!"  
  
Vegeta growled, "I am PERFECTLY capable of taking care of me and Kayka!" He couldn't believe this was happening to him! He almost kissed her! He could even feel her lips!  
  
Mirai muttered, "Well, you still could have left a note or something. I was worried."  
  
"Oh really? That's nice of you, Mirai," said Goku quietly. The whole episode that Mirai had interrupted had set her in a hushed mood. She felt wrong. Everything felt wrong. Or else she just didn't know what to think. Was that an accident?  
  
Smiling, Mirai laughed, "Well I can't let my mom's cousin go missing." He asked, "How about I fly you home? It's really cold out."  
  
Sending an uncomfortable look towards the ouji, Goku answered, "Um... okay, Mirai." The teenager picked up the saiyajin into his arms and started flying towards Capsule Corps.  
  
Vegeta yelled, "MIRAI! WHAT ABOUT ME?!"  
  
Mirai turned and frowned, "Well you can fly, can't you?" The ouji clenched his fists until the knuckles were chalk white and blasted into the dark sky after them, a furious possessive rage threatening to make him strangle his own future son. Especially when seeing the protective hold that Mirai had on Kayka...  
  
**** 


	15. Ransacked with a twist

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
****  
  
Vegeta paced his room like a tiger, rage and paranoia wearing him thin. He had no idea what he was supposed to do about this latest obstacle in his plan.  
  
Mirai Torunksu Briefs was quickly becoming his most hated enemy.  
  
The most annoying thing was that he couldn't tell if Mirai was actually 'interested' in Goku like the way he was. Vegeta chucked the idea. He wouldn't think such a thing about his mother's cousin... Unless he was thinking incest...  
  
The ouji paled as he thought about this and checked Goku's ki again. It was still in the kitchen. He humphed. Typical. Suddenly his alarm grew when he realized that Mirai was still down there with her. He checked his clock. 3:03 a.m. They were down there for nearly half an hour since they arrived back at Capsule Corps!  
  
He felt himself begin to slightly tremble and hysterical panic was threatening to take over his calm composure and send him down there screaming at his son in fits. Taking a deep breath, Vegeta calmed himself down, giving himself several logical reasons why they would still be down there. It was only natural that Mirai would want to get to know Goku better, after all she was a 'family member'.  
  
Then he realized that the two ki's were heading to Mirai's bedroom.  
  
Vegeta's panic multiplied hundredfold, and his pacing became frantic, each step sounding like thunder. He kept telling himself that they weren't BOTH going to Mirai's room. They COULDN'T. But his anxiety heightened when they came up close to Goku's guest room.  
  
AND they pass it.  
  
Now the real alarms started going off in Vegeta's head. He hopped onto his bed and started rocking himself back and forth. He had to stop this. He had to. But how the hell was he going to do that without screwing up his whole plan to catch Kayka?!  
  
They were in Mirai's room now.  
  
Vegeta would start biting his nails now if he didn't have his gloves on. What was he going to do?! All he knew was that something had to be done! But with such a situation so many things could go so wrong!  
  
Mirai might love Goku and Goku might love him back and then they'd get married together! Or Mirai might love Goku and Goku wouldn't and then she'd be paranoid about any boy trying to woo her, including Vegeta himself! Or maybe Mirai might not love Goku, but Goku could get the wrong idea and fall for him- And thinking like this was giving Vegeta a really bad migraine.  
  
Suddenly their ki's started flaring up erratically. Stopping his mindless babble, the ouji stared at the direction of the jagged flows of ki, several possible causes spilling into his mind.  
  
Vegeta's anxiety was quickly set aside as an unfathomable rage slowly boiled to the surface. {How dare he...} He was in front of Mirai's door, not realizing how he got there, and for the most part not caring. Carefully he put his ear to the door so as to not signal his presence.  
  
There were moans and groans coming from inside.  
  
All the color left Vegeta's face, along with all rational thought. He stood up and calmly surveyed the door, however his aura is saturated with his potent jealousy and sickly rage, boiling in contempt at the individual beyond the door.  
  
Without any forethought, he kicked down the door, his arrival accented by two equal shrieks of surprise.  
  
****  
  
Bardock covered his ears as several angels started shrieking in his ear about his damned house. He hushed them with a glare and then said, "Okay, one at a time. What the HELL are you talking about?!"  
  
All at once the flitty angels started babbling incessantly again.  
  
The saiyajin angel yelled, "SHUT UP!" and they quieted down... again and he subjected to glowering at the variety of angels in front of his home.  
  
Apparently this certain group angels were a result of some passersby who had seen that the door to his two story had been open for some odd reason and they were a bit too curious for their own good, peeking inside. And now they were congregated in front of his house, looking at him in a most accusing manner.  
  
Bardock's eyes narrowed and he pushed through the congregation to his jarred door. The angels watched him warily as he entered. The sole saiyajin angel rolled his eyes and went into his home.  
  
Everyone in the Otherworld knew of Bardock's getaway in heaven. Mostly because he was so secret about it. No one really knew what happened inside there, seeing as he never entertained at his home nor even once invited anyone in. He was the only one aware of what it actually looked like and he was too protective about it to let anyone go in.  
  
The truth was over the years, he had managed to collect all sorts of artifacts that came from all sorts of different cultures spanning the entire galaxy. He may be a saiyajin, but he was a cultured one. His home was also the only place in all of Otherworld that actually reminded him of Bejito-sei, with a red ceiling reminiscent of the atmosphere of his home planet, and all over his home were many lush plants native to the planet. He also had his favorite room, the black room. A small little room about the closet that was completely black. No lights, no sound. It was perfect for meditation and he went into it nearly every time that he had to go to the pristine, stark white monument known as Angel Headquarters.  
  
Bardock didn't like this one bit. Their curiosity got the better of them and now everyone was going to know about his little getaway. Most angels were some of the biggest gossipers that he'd ever seen, which was probably how he got such a reputation for being an evil angel so quickly. He sighed. Well they just peeked. He was confidant nothing else happened to his little abode. No one would DARE touch his hideout. Not even the infamous Angel Health Inspection Control would come near his place.  
  
Only until Bardock stepped into his home did he find out how wrong he was.  
  
His entire living room was ransacked. All of his prized artifacts were missing and the words 'I did it' were painted all over every walls in white paint. The fiend was even dastardly enough to burn all the plants in what looked like the remains of a bonfire in the middle of his living room floor. And the sky like ceiling he had worked so hard on was also victimized to the painted trio of words.  
  
Bardock barely let out even a small utterance of shock before he rushed off to find his precious little black room. Kicking open the door, he realized to his horror that his sacred enclosure had been desecrated as well. Apparently all his artifacts had been collected up into this room and were all spray painted a crimson red. They were arranged around a small make shift shrine containing satanic symbols, red candles, and other "dirty" objects. Even a red fluorescent light was set up in the room to shine upon the little memorial.  
  
Shock and hatred overwhelmed his body, until he started to shake in denial that this was actually his home that was devastated. His mind quickly went through all the possible culprits for such a heinous act. Then he suddenly figured it out... He screamed up at the ceiling in absolute hatred.  
  
"QU'PAAAC!!!!!!"  
  
****  
  
They were playing twister...  
  
Vegeta stared at Mirai and Goku in shock, who just reflected the look right back at him. Mirai asked weakly, "Father? Did you really have to kick down the door?"  
  
The ouji said in partial shock, "B-but weren't you... I thought that you were..."  
  
Goku gave up on her current mutilated position and sat right down on the plastic sheet covering most of Mirai's bedroom floor. "Geta? Are you alright? You look really pale."  
  
Ideas quickly spinning through the ouji's mind, he decided to take charge of the opportunity. He put a hand to his head and moaned, "No. No, I don't feel well at all. Why don't you help me over to bed?"  
  
The younger saiyajin was up on her feet at once and went over by the ouji's side. "Oh Vegeta, you poor thing. You'll be okay."  
  
Mirai protested at once, "But Dad! You kicked down the door!"  
  
Vegeta just shrugged, "I guess it just zapped away the last of my strength." He suddenly gave a small shriek as Goku picked him up off the ground and into her arms. "Kak- Kayka! What the heck are you doing?!"  
  
Goku smiled, "I'm going to carry you to bed." She was oblivious to the stunned expression Mirai was giving her right then.  
  
The ouji yelled in complaint, "You can't do that!"  
  
"But Mirai carried me in his arms," the younger saiyajin replied.  
  
"THAT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!"  
  
Suddenly Mirai interjected, "Wow, Kayka. You're really strong."  
  
Goku grinned, "Oh yeah. I train a lot."  
  
The young teenager looked at her in surprise. "Oh! You're a fighter. Wow, I never thought anybody on my mom's side were anything but brainiacs."  
  
"Yeah... Well I'm not really blood related. I'm sort of adopted," she weakly admitted.  
  
That latest fact piqued Mirai's interest and Vegeta gave the saiyajin an alarmed look. He did not like the way that Mirai was looking at his prize now. It was a little too scrutinizing. Now Vegeta had even more cause to think that Mirai would be even bigger of a menace. The ouji said quickly, "Well, Kak- Kayka, why don't you bring me to my bedroom?"  
  
Goku said quickly, "Oh right!" She turned away from Mirai and said, "G'night Mirai. This was fun, we should do it later." Without a word the teenager just nodded and turned away. Goku just went ahead and left carrying Vegeta from where he just came from.  
  
Vegeta couldn't help but blush. Goku was treating him like a damned onna! Which is what she was right then. His mind drifted back to the missed kiss and he said quietly, "Kakarotto... About before..."  
  
The younger saiyajin said in interest, "What are you talking about?"  
  
It just even more awkward for the ouji. She couldn't possibly be denying it! He pressed her further, "I'm talking about the *ahem* kiss. Or what was almost one."  
  
Completely unfazed, Goku responded, "Oh that," as if it were nothing. Vegeta gawked at her. She suddenly smiled and said, "I understand. You aren't feeling well. You didn't know what you were doing." She sighed, "I'm sorry I was taking advantage. I wasn't really in my right mind either. But I told you before that sardines make me feel funky. Not that I'm trying to pin the blame on you or anything."  
  
The ouji just dropped his jaw in shock and he protested, "B-but I wasn't-"  
  
Goku put a finger to his lips and shushed him, "Shhh. Don't worry about it. Let's just forget about it, okay? No harm done."  
  
Vegeta just stared at her, before his shoulders slumped in defeat and he let himself be carried through the dark corridors towards his bedroom.  
  
**** 


	16. Trials, old foagies, and booboo's

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for being so supportive of my story! I really hadn't imagined I'd be getting this many reviews. Anyway, I would just like to announce that my sister, screen named Crepian (which she stole from me), has now joined the FF.net community! Yeah, so I'm advertising for her now. Anyway, if you like depressing/angsty, shounen-ai with Vegeta and Goku then read her first fic! It's called Return of the Forgotten. And by the way, she definitely doesn't write humor. But she's so nervous about it, you should see her! It's very entertaining. Since that's over with, enjoy the fic!  
  
*********  
  
The Angel Counsel watched the defendant being walked in with narrow scrutinizing eyes. Yes, they figured that he was bound to show up sooner or later. It was only a matter of time before the dark angel committed a sin.  
  
Bardock was escorted into the golden room by two very nervous looking guards. Good, they should be. He could wipe them out in a second and they know it. At least he could get respect in that sense. Usually the prisoners were treated like vermin.  
  
The audience in the room seemed very nervous as well. Either that or they gave him very annoying glares. And some even looks of satisfaction at seeing him about to be punished. The saiyajin spotted Qu'pac in the crowd, who had a very smug little look on his face and gave Bardock a thumbs up. Bardock just stared at him incredulously and would've smacked himself in the forehead if his hands weren't tied up behind his back.  
  
Bardock was here to be judged before the Angel Counsel for the crime of using unauthorized spells to curse a person of the living. This was a preliminary hearing to see if there was sufficient enough evidence to actually hold a trial.  
  
To the saiyajin, it seemed like they jumped on the chance to point something at him. The evidence in his house, if you could really call it proper evidence, was very vague and didn't incriminate anything specific. That didn't matter that much, but the worst part of the whole thing was that Willith was the first investigator there. Bardock didn't even know he was an investigator! The stupid angel had titles and positions coming out of his ears!  
  
Speaking of Willith, there he was, standing in front of the Angel Counsel. Obviously the one to prosecute him. Bardock sighed, {This is going to suck.} Then he noticed that Willith was on the wrong side of the room. He was on the defendant's side. Wait a sec! What does that mean?! Said blond angel smirked, when he sensed Bardock's confusion.  
  
Bardock glared at him hatefully as he was forced/encouraged to stand next to him.  
  
The eldest angel stood up and said, "Sequeta Willith, you may start your statement."  
  
The blond angel bowed slightly and said, "Thank you, your honors." He walked out to the platform in front of the counsel and keeping his chin up high and started out very formally, "Ladies, gentlemen and everything in between, of the Head Counsel. I come here today to testify for Chuui Barudokko's innocence in the face of the charges of using unauthorized spells on a person from the mortal realm." Willith brought out a hand towards Bardock and grated out, "This angel here is one of the most prized specimens that the Angel Headquarters had ever chosen. However, he is also the most atrocious angel that we've ever seen." Several angels nodded in agreement. Bardock had half a mind to bite off Willith's hand.  
  
However, Willith continued, strolling off the platform and turning towards the audience in a dramatic display of acting, "But I fear that we have been too quick to judge our fellow angel. His reputation, although indisputable at times, can also be other angels' scapegoat." There are collective cries out protest coming from the group.  
  
The eldest angel demanded, "Are you suggesting that one of our good standing angels is framing Bardock?!"  
  
The blond angel replied coolly, "Well if you can accuse Bardock of a crime, I can very well accuse someone else."  
  
A different counsel angel spoke up, "Willith, we are here to see if Bardock can stand trial not create a new one!"  
  
"Quite right, Madame, quite right." Willith turned to the file of the case and opened it up, "But I was just pointing out that the only evidence, incriminating him of such a crime was the interior of his home. Cannot an angel decorate his own home without being subjected to the judgment and accusations of the Angel Counsel? In fact, there is wonder whether Bardock actually did that to his own home, because apparently, the neighbors discovered it while he was out, with the door ajar. If he really was the one who cursed the mortal, then why would he be so careless as to leave the door open to the only evidence that can prosecute him? And why would he even do that to his own home in the first place? Angels of the counsel, this shows that Bardock cannot be tried on such meager evidence, and that he was even a victim in a crime."  
  
Murmurs echoed throughout the room, with some assenting to Willith's opinion and others disagreeing. The eldest angel stepped up once again and asked, "You have won the case, Willith. But we cannot just let this go free. What do you suggest?"  
  
Bardock muttered to himself, "And this is when I get screwed over."  
  
The blond angel smirked and answered, "Well we certainly can't just let a potential suspect go free. So I think it would be wise to keep an eye on Bardock. I suggest putting him under my constant supervision would be the best idea."  
  
The saiyajin hissed, "I knew it."  
  
Ignoring him, the Angel Counsel debated among themselves and then turned back to Willith, "We think that is a sound suggestion. Bardock will be placed in your home tomorrow morning and you will be responsible for him. No matter what he does. Understood?"  
  
Willith bowed, "I understand completely. I won't let anything he does go without my knowing it."  
  
The eldest angel nodded, "Good then. Expect him tomorrow. This case is adjourned." The gold cuffs on Bardock's wrists disappeared and the crowd started to disperse from the room, muttering about how annoying it was that there wasn't going to be a trial. Only Qu'pac remained, looking very pale under his brown fur. He gave an apologetic look to his saiyajin friend, who just strode right past him in a fury.  
  
Qu'pac moaned, "Good Kami, what have I done?"  
  
A young voice coming from the direction of Earth answered him, "Ya screwed him over, that's what."  
  
********  
  
Vegeta glared inside the glass café window. They were laughing now. It looked like Mirai just told a joke. Most likely a bad one from the experiences Vegeta had with them. The ouji scowled darkly, {Stupid Kakarot can't tell a bad joke from a good one.}  
  
Pedestrians outside the café along the sidewalk were staring at him, while walking by. Why in the world would this short little person be staring into the restaurant like that?  
  
The ouji really didn't give a damn about them though. He woke up late this morning and found out that his alarm clock "mysteriously" went missing. Goku and Mirai were also absent as well. After nearly an hour of searching, he found them at Bulma's favorite café. For some reason or another, although Vegeta suspected what it was, they were concealing their ki, despite none of the civilians could actually sense ki in the first place.  
  
The air around Vegeta sizzled as he watched Mirai taking a hold of Goku's hand, looking at her with a fond expression. Several people around him decided it would be in their best interest to stay FAR away from him.  
  
Suddenly, someone poked Vegeta on the shoulder and the ouji quickly turned to the offender, "What do you want?!" He paled once he realized who it was.  
  
A plump, short old woman with squinty eyes and really thick glasses. She smiled good naturedly and said, "Oh, you're that little boy from the department store! You poor thing. You must be hungry right? Where are your parents?" She squinted around the street and said, "Oh well, I suppose they wouldn't mind if I got you a bite to eat, isn't that right? A little boy like you needs food to grow!" She pinched his cheeks affectionately, and Vegeta visibly cringed.  
  
He pulled her hand away, nearly shrieking, "Don't touch me, you old crone! I don't want you to buy me anything!" Vegeta couldn't stand really old people. He had a phobia of them, afraid that if he went anywhere near them they would fall to pieces and die in front of him or spread disgusting old people diseases to him.  
  
The old woman smiled and grabbed his arm, pulling him inside, "Oh nonsense. Just let Auntie Mae take care of you." Vegeta couldn't think of any way to pull her off without breaking any of her bones. The old crone was going to fall apart any minute now! He had no choice but to be dragged inside.  
  
At once he found himself in front of the patisserie, being encouraged to choose from many of the pastries that the café specialized in. Vegeta nervously glanced behind him at Mirai and Goku only a couple tables away. If they just turned a little they could see him, but they were too engrossed in their conversation to notice him. He wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. He quickly pointed at some random cake and said, "I'll take that."  
  
Auntie Mae looked from the rum cakes back at him curiously, "Are you sure dearie? That may be a little too rich for your taste. Wouldn't you like some carrot cake instead?"  
  
Vegeta muttered, "Whatever, I don't care. Just hurry it up."  
  
The old woman grinned, "My, my, hungry now, aren't we?" She pointed at the carrot cake and a baker took it, wrapped it up and brought it to the cash register.  
  
"That'll be 14 dollars please."  
  
Auntie Mae sighed, "My, so expensive. I hope you don't mind if I pay in pennies." She took out a humungous coin purse, filled to the brim with pennies.  
  
The store clerk stared at her in horror, "N-not at all, Madame."  
  
Vegeta reflected his expression, {Kami! I'm going to be here forever!} He whipped out his wallet and took out his favorite plastic payment, "I'll pay for it!"  
  
"Oh no dear, you can't use your parents' credit card," Auntie Mae said in dismay. "You need to have your guardian with you!"  
  
Taking the card, the store clerk said, "It's quite alright, Madame! We can make an exception once!" He was just as eager to look for an alternative from penny paying as Vegeta was.  
  
The old woman smiled, "Well aren't you sweet! Thank you!" The clerk only nodded and gave her the cake along with the receipt and the card. Handing the carrot cake to Vegeta, Auntie Mae said, "Here you go dearie. It was so nice to see you again."  
  
The ouji said quickly, "Yeah, you too. Bye." He hurried towards the exit as fast as he could... Only to trip on a random banana peel on the floor. The carrot cake slipped up from his hands and he fell onto the floor, only to have the cake land on his head.  
  
Everyone's attention in the room was diverted to the source of the loud CRASH and looked on in concern. Goku was the first one to check out the scene. She surveyed the mess and yelped, "Holy cripes! Vegeta! What are you doing in here? Are you okay?" Mirai came over as well and just stared at the scene.  
  
Auntie Mae rushed over apologizing profusively, "Oh I'm sorry! I shouldn't have brought him in here! I didn't know he was such a klutz! But the poor dear, he was watching from outside."  
  
Mirai yelped, "You were watching us?!"  
  
Before Vegeta could say anything, Auntie Mae nodded, "He looked ever so hungry. I just felt sorry for him." The ouji burned red with embarrassment. Auntie Mae pinched his cheeks once again and said, "Well I suppose I can leave you with your parents now. I'm sorry I have to leave so soon, but I do have an appointment for the doctor you know. Mustn't keep those important men waiting. Good bye honey dear. Keep out of trouble now." She turned to Mirai and Goku, "You have such a fine son. You should be very proud."  
  
Goku stared, stunned, "Uh... Thank you..." Auntie Mae shook her hand and scurried out the door with a wave. The rest of the customers turned back to their own lives, not finding anything more interesting about the situation. Goku quickly brought a napkin and started cleaning Vegeta up, "Jeez, Geta, you sure made a big mess." She grinned and pinched Vegeta's cheeks, "But you look so kawaii! Even that old lady thinks so!"  
  
Vegeta scowled and sat up, "I can't believe that she thought you two were my parents! You're both younger than I am!"  
  
The teenager beside Goku, grinned, "Well I guess that she thought Kayka and I were a good couple, huh?"  
  
The ouji snorted, "You wish."  
  
The younger saiyajin looked up at Mirai and said, "How about we get Geta some carrot cake with us?"  
  
"But this is- I thought it would be just the two of us!-" Mirai protested.  
  
Goku pouted, "Oh Mirai, your father was just in an accident AND lost his food! Couldn't you be a little flexible?"  
  
Mirai rolled his eyes, "Oh fine." Vegeta grinned with a very smug look on his face.  
  
"Cool!" Goku pulled Vegeta to his feet and said, "I'll go with you and get some more cake for you!" She turned to Mirai and said, "Get another chair, will you?" The teenager merely grumbled, but obeyed. The younger saiyajin looked back at Vegeta and hugged his arm, "Are you sure, you're okay?"  
  
Faking it, Vegeta winced, "Ah, I think that I hurt my nose in the fall."  
  
Goku said in a baby voice, "Aww, you want to have the boo-boo kissed?"  
  
The ouji grinned and said in a sing song voice, "Yes, I wo-ould..."  
  
"Okay, maybe I can get that nice old lady to it for you." Vegeta promptly fell over anime style.  
  
**** 


	17. Finally a break! for both!

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
A/N: Hey guys! I'm finally back! Well, I'm also back in Indonesia after 8 months of evacuation in the states. But I'm also back from my vacation in Bali and Thailand! I've got a very nice tan from it. (Even though I had a permanent tan in the first place.) But I'm so happy I finally get my own room back! I absolutely hate sleeping with siblings in the same bed at hotels. They snore a lot. Anyway, enough of that. I'm sure a lot of people were waiting for this chapter, so enjoy!  
  
Warning: A lot of OOC. Not like that isn't normal in this story.  
  
****  
  
Vegeta watched Mirai and Goku from the kitchen, while they chatted together in the living room. Actually it seemed like Mirai was doing most of the chatting, while Goku was nodding to and from sleep. He couldn't believe his bad luck. Instead of spending time with Kay- Kakarotto, he had to watch Mirai bore her to death. He could be sweeping her off her feet right now with his practiced Prince Charming act!  
  
He also noted in annoyance that he was in this position much more often these days. Him glaring hatefully at his future son while he went cavorting around with HIS future mate. {What the hell am I doing?!} he thought to himself. {If I were on Bejito-sei, then I would have killed him already for getting anywhere near her like that, whether he be my son or not!}  
  
He sighed in defeat, {Maybe I've finally gotten sentimental.}  
  
A familiar voice suddenly called out from behind him, "Maybe, but maybe you just have extremely bad luck." The ouji's eyes bulged out of their sockets and he slowly turned around. A stately woman stood behind him, wearing royal crimson robes, an auburn tail swaying to and fro behind her. She smiled and gave him a little 'V' sign.  
  
Vegeta's eyes grew wide and sparkly, and he ran for her arms wide open, "Mommy!"..... only to go right through her and fall on his face.....  
  
Queen Ruby raised an eyebrow, "Veggie-chan? Are you alright?"  
  
The ouji clambered to his feet and answered gruffly, "I'm fine. I just had a painful reality check." He looked over to her and asked, "How did you come here anyway?"  
  
Ruby humphed, "The how isn't important, it's the why."  
  
"I know for a fact that if I asked you why you came here, I'd have a very big lump on my head right now."  
  
".....Anyway!" Ruby smiled and pointed over to the living room, "You see that pretty onna over there?"  
  
Vegeta nodded.  
  
"Do you like her?"  
  
Another nod.  
  
"You want her for a mate, don't you?"  
  
At this the ouji blushed, "Mother!"  
  
Ruby shushed him, "Oh calm down, I know all about her. I came here to help you."  
  
Vegeta's eyes widened considerably, "You can?"  
  
The queen pulled an arrogant smirk very similar to Vegeta's on her face, "Of course I can. I can do anything that I want, now that I'm dead. I'm here right now, aren't I?"  
  
She pulled to vials out of her robe sleeve, one pink, and one dark red like blood. She gave him the red vial first. "This is a bonding potion. You drink half, she'll drink the other, then you'll be bonded together forever."  
  
Vegeta frowned, "You mean like mated bonding?"  
  
"Well, not exactly. Without her consent you could never have your souls bonded, but you would have her body whenever you wanted," she said rather quickly. Then she gave Vegeta the pink one. "Now this pink one is women repellant for that nosy purple haired brat."  
  
"Women repellant," the ouji repeated skeptically.  
  
His mother smiled, "Pour that on him and all the women in the universe will run away from him in terror. He'll grow into a woman less, old crony."  
  
Vegeta's eyes widened, "Really?"  
  
"Really."  
  
A sadistic grin swept over his face, "Excellent." He paused to look up at his mother. "Mother, you're in hell, right?"  
  
Ruby sniffed, looking a bit miffed. "Right."  
  
"So, do I need to sell you my soul or something?"  
  
Suddenly he found himself on the floor with a large lump on his head. Ruby screamed, "How dare you talk to your mother like that?!"  
  
Vegeta winced, "Sorry Mother."  
  
****  
  
Bardock slowly looked around Willith's home while the rival angel set to making a room for his guest/prisoner. The "home" was an impressive five- story mansion that looked like it belonged to someone obsessed with Greek pillars. Bardock couldn't walk two steps without smacking himself into one. Not only that but the dark angel had to squint to look through all the blaring white. Eventually, he had to bring out a pair of sunglasses just to shield his eyes from the whiteness. He, with his black hair and dark tan, looked so completely out of place in such a mansion that it seemed ludicrous.  
  
Suddenly, Willith called from upstairs, "Bardock! You lousy bum! Get up here!"  
  
Bardock was instantly behind him, scaring the pee out of the angel. The saiyajin smirked, "Now Willith, is that any way for such a high ranking angel as yourself to talk?"  
  
Annoyed, Willith snapped, "What the hell are those glasses for? They look absolutely ridiculous!"  
  
Bardock's eye twitched. "Did you just diss my special limited edition Matrix sunglasses?" he said in a dangerously low voice.  
  
The high-ranking angel was suddenly aware of how much pain he could possibly be in in the next three seconds. He gulped, "No. Not the sunglasses. Of course they look very um... What do those mortals say? Chill? I just meant that you look ridiculous wearing them inside the house." Bardock glared at him for a second, but then nodded and went to check out his room. Then Willith knew he was safe.  
  
If you really want to know Willith, you must know that he wasn't one of the most powerful beings in the Angel Sector of Heaven, and he knew it. However, strength wasn't necessary to base the foundation of his quick but successful political career. He passed the entrance exam with flying colors. From then on he made his way through all political obstacles with his sharp wit and subtle side dealings. Until finally he became the Vice Councilman, in charge of almost all of the affairs in Heaven and next in line of succession for any retiring angels of the High Counsel. No one had ever been able to rival his cunning, no one! At least... not until Bardock came along...  
  
Bardock was the only one that could really pose a threat to his position. Not only was he extremely smart, but he was also THE most powerful angel in Heaven. He could easily take over his position as Vice Councilman, if it wasn't for his less than flawless reputation, which Willith felt obliged to contribute to with a few scandalous rumors. It also helped that Willith kept on rigging his annual tests so that he couldn't rise any higher than the average ranking.  
  
Even so, it would be hard to get rid of him. The Recruiting Board was too damned proud of their find, finding a good saiyajin that could pass the entrance exam unlike a certain other, a.k.a. Goku. However, with his infamous reputation even Bardock himself thought that he was hanging onto Heaven by a thread. Only a few people, one of them being Willith, know he really hung on by a whole section of Angel Headquarters and not only any section either.  
  
The Recruiting Board was a major sector of the headquarters and their power rivaled that of the Angel Counsel. And they were thought of as the most righteous, fair and noble angels in all of the Angel Sector. The most angelic of the angels. (Of course Willith stayed far, far away from there during his rise to power.) They were the closest things to the angels of ningen religions. They weren't suited for administration or anything like that, because of their unwillingness to compromise their ideals, and they were exceptionally down to earth. They were good people, whether or not Bardock hated them for putting him in Heaven in the first place. So of course they were the most highly respected group of all of Heaven.  
  
So there was no easy way to get rid of Bardock, whether Willith was the Vice Admiral or not. Therefore he resorted to an old saying. Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.  
  
Two days before the trial he volunteered to be Bardock's attorney, much to the High Counsel's surprise, and he worked out a strategy to have Bardock under his constant watch. What better place than to have the saiyajin in his home? Even then, Willith just had a gut feeling that watching him would be very difficult.  
  
He went inside the room with Bardock and glared at his back.  
  
The dark angel dumped his bag on the floor and looked around the room that Willith had set up for him. It was a rather nice two-story suite with a bathroom, kitchen, bedroom and a study. All white of course. He also noted the security cameras all over the place.  
  
Bardock nodded, "Not bad. I was expecting a dungeon actually."  
  
"Unlike you, I'm not a barbarian," Willith humphed.  
  
The saiyajin took a quick tour of the suite and then came back to the Vice Councilman and declared, "I'm going out."  
  
A thread of panic laced Willith's mind, "Out?! What do you mean out?!"  
  
Bardock raised an eyebrow, "Well you can't possibly expect to keep me here the whole time. If I'm not mistaken, I'm a 'potential' suspect. You don't have the right to lock me up on no charges. However, you're welcome to come with me and meet my friends."  
  
Willith crossed his arms and scowled, "Who would want to be friends with you?"  
  
"No? All right, I'm off. Expect me back at supper. If you don't know, I eat a lot." He stepped halfway out the door, before turning around and smirking, "And another thing. I sleep in the nude, so you might want to take the cameras out of the bedroom." Then he left, leaving a flabbergasted angel behind him.  
  
Once he was outside, Bardock pulled the bug, which Willith slipped on him in the room, off and went off on his way towards Angel Headquarters to lead the Vice Councilman off his trail, before he went onto his real destination.  
  
****  
  
Goku yawned with boredom as she listened to Mirai talk about his future life. She didn't really mean to, but she'd already heard about a billion times when she was a man. Not only that, but Mirai was getting a hell of a lot more sentimental in his story telling.  
  
"*sniffle* And that's when I found Gohan's dead body *sniffle* lying in the GUTTER!" Mirai looked like he was about to break into tears.  
  
Goku awkwardly reached over and patted his back, "It's alright, Mirai. It's alright."  
  
Mirai sniffled again. "Thanks Kayka. I don't usually get so emotional about this. You're so nice to listen to all this."  
  
The gender bent Goku forced a smile on her face, "Uh... sure I am. I mean, no problem." {How long am I going to have to endure this?}  
  
Suddenly, Mirai gave out a startled yelp and jumped up from the couch, feeling the top of his head. He drew his hands away and saw a pink goop covering them, but it instantly faded away. Looking up, Mirai's eyes narrowed with suspicion when he saw his father floating above him, grinning sadistically and dangling an empty vial in his hand.  
  
Mirai yelled, "What the hell are you doing up there?! What did you just pour on me?!"  
  
Vegeta smirked and put his feet on the ceiling as if he were standing up on it. Mirai felt very disoriented just looking at him. Looking down/up at his son, Vegeta asked, "So what were you doing with your *ahem* mother's cousin?"  
  
The teenager flushed and demanded, "How is it any of your business?!"  
  
The ouji narrowed his eyes, "It's more my business than you will ever know." Then he walked off on the ceiling towards the stairs.  
  
Mirai huffed, "Of all the- Kayka, did you see what he- Kayka?" He looked around the living room.  
  
She was gone.  
  
****  
  
Vegeta lazily strolled over to the bathroom (on the floor this time) where he felt Goku's ki emanating from. Smirking triumphantly, he opened the door and saw Goku leaning over the U-bend. He faked a frown and asked, "Are you alright?"  
  
Goku looked up and smiled weakly, "Uh yeah. It's just that- I don't want to sound mean and all, but all of a sudden Mirai just smelled horrific and if I stayed with him any longer I probably would've spewed on your carpet and why are you smiling like that?"  
  
Vegeta wiped his grin of glee of his face. "Oh nothing. Are you still feeling sick?"  
  
"Well, a little."  
  
"I might have something for you," Vegeta said as he fumbled for the red vial in his pocket.  
  
Goku smiled, "Thanks Vegeta. You're the greatest."  
  
The ouji paused when she said that and looked up at her face. Would she still think he was the greatest if he tricked her into bonding with him? His eyes slowly examined her figure, lewd thoughts forming at the back of his mind. Well, in any case he would have her body. Which he did want VERY much!  
  
But was that enough?  
  
Goku frowned, "Vegeta? Are you okay?"  
  
She looked so concerned when she said that. Then he thought of the laughter, the smiles, her really strange yet sensible philosophy and everything about Kakarotto that couldn't help but make him smile. All of which could be for him. All of which he would probably lose if he did this! His hand trembled around the vial. How could her body possibly be enough?! What was he thinking?!  
  
What he really wanted was a true bond that would bind body and soul! Not some artificial link conjured up by trickery and black magic! Vegeta let out a great sigh, {No offense, Mother, but if I'm going to have her, I'm going to have ALL of her. All or nothing.}  
  
He looked over to Goku and made a small smile. The younger saiyajin only gave him a confused look.  
  
Vegeta held out his hand and said, "Come down to the kitchen with me. I know a really good saiyajin remedy that my nurse mother taught me."  
  
Goku said seriously, "Okay. But only if Mirai isn't down there.  
  
Then Vegeta broke into hearty laughter.  
  
****  
  
A/N: Well Vegeta finally gets a break! But with only a week and a half to go, will he be able to win Goku's heart before it's too late? Hopefully I'll get the next chapter up sooner so you can find out. Ja! 


	18. A little bit of a mess

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
A/N: Uh... hi guys! How ya been? Miss me? *gives a nervous smile* Sorry about the really, really long wait. Just know that my heart is still in the story, even if I might not update on a regular basis due to unnatural causes (such as my school starting on August 13th *gag*). Plus I'm in charge of my school's Anime Club! It's so cool. Anyway, on with the long awaited update!  
  
****  
  
16 days. It would be sixteen days until Kakarotto has to be wished back to a girl, the ouji thought to himself as he laid down on the couch, while staring up at the creamy white ceiling and the rotating fan. The motions of the fan were making him drowsy and he mumbled to himself, "Maybe I'm going at this whole thing the wrong way... again... What if I just need to be bold and state my feelings to her out loud?" His eyes widened as he goes over the idea in his head. Imagining all the worst possible outcomes, he blushed and covered his face with a yellow cushion, "No way! No freakin' way! I can't! I have to think of something else!"  
  
Groaning, he flopped onto his belly and turned to the TV for guidance, "I just need to relax a little bit. Then something will come to me," turning the television on.  
  
Instantly the TV blurted out, [Are you having problems with your crush?]  
  
Vegeta blinked, "Huh?" waiting for the TV to fade into view.  
  
A strong chinned man with a cheesy smile and curly blond hair flashed his sparkling teeth at the viewers. The ouji raised an eyebrow, looking at the man incredulously.  
  
[Maybe you crush just broke up or maybe she's still with him! Maybe she's married. Or maybe-]  
  
Vegeta muttered, "You've got to be kidding me," ready to change the channel until the TV suddenly blurted out once more.  
  
[Or maybe she was originally a man and is considering another sex change!]  
  
The ouji paused just before he hit the button and said a quick, "Wow."  
  
[If so then give a call to 1-800-55-LOVE! We'll send a beautiful love letter to the girl of your dreams guaranteeing her newfound love for you or twice your money back! Just call 1-800-555-LOVE! Or you'll regret it for the rest of your life!]  
  
Vegeta gazed at the screen in wonder and his hand began snaking towards to the phone subconsciously, but his other hand grabbed it before it even touched the handle. "Holy crap! I'm being brainwashed by a primitive human audio instrument!" He grabbed the remote and tried changing the channel, but to his horror, it had the same advertisement on every single channel of the cable.  
  
Looking very ticked off, the blond advertiser yelled, [Don't you dare even try turning the TV off, Vegeta Oujisama!] Vegeta dropped the remote and his jaw, completely stunned and creeped out. [Will you stop being so stubborn and call already?!]  
  
The ouji continued staring at it in mute paralyzed shock. Suddenly it roared, [CALL DAMMIT! OR I'LL INFLICT MY WRATH UPON YOU!] With a small yipe Vegeta tried scrambling away from the thing off the couch, only to have himself and the furniture tip over backwards. With a giant hop, the TV jumped up and landed on the coffee table, right in front of Vegeta. Growling dangerously, it said, [You don't want to see what I can do to you, kid.]  
  
After a numb moment of staring up at the TV, Vegeta suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs and went running away from the living room, yelling, "THE TV'S POSESSED!! THE TV'S POSESSED!!"  
  
On the coffee table the TV muttered, [Aw dammit,] and went a-hopping along after the ouji, pulling its plug out of the wall.  
  
The ouji looked back down the hall and mentally screamed at himself, {I can't believe I'm running from a television!} He rounded the hall's corner and ran into a random room to hide.  
  
Unfortunately he picked a bad door.  
  
Following a shrill shriek, he rushed right back out, eyes wide and his face as red as a beet tomato. He called out to the door, "Sorry Kakarotto!"  
  
Out of the blue he heard a low rumble above him. Looking up he paled, seeing the words, 'DIE OUJI,' written in black mist.  
  
Vegeta stared at it disbelief, "First a possessed demon TV and now this?" He screamed up at the ceiling, "WHY DO YOU HATE ME GOD?!" just as the words formed into a large, black storm cloud. He yelled at the cloud, trying to prevent his ultimate doom, "Come on Bardock! It was only a misunderstanding! I swear!"  
  
Then came the ka-thunk, ka-thunk, of the possessed TV coming down the hallway. It called out, [Bardock? Dockers! What the heck are you doing here?!] The cloud gave a low rumble, but apparently the TV understood it. [What do you mean the same as me?! I'm trying to help the situation here! Every time you come it's always trouble! You said you wouldn't electrocute him anymore!]  
  
Another rumble, gaining in volume.  
  
Sounding indignant, the TV yelled, [How dare you say that to me?! I'll show you who's boss!]  
  
It zapped the cloud with a jolt of electricity. The storm cloud responded with a roar of thunder and zapped the TV back. Only to get zapped again. All too quickly, the TV and the cloud are in an all out zapping war.  
  
Vegeta stayed far off to the side, making sure not to get caught up in the crossfire. Watching it for about another minute, he slowly shook his head and walked over to his room, "I'm going insane. That has to be it. I'm going completely insane."  
  
The TV and the cloud ignored his retreat completely, too absorbed in their war.  
  
****  
  
Once over in his room, Vegeta pulled his TV out of its socket and dumped it out of the window. Then he flopped onto his bed and went back to staring at the ceiling. However the advertisement number started floating about his mind, haunting him. Annoyed, he muttered to himself, "No way! I'm not going to call a number that a possessed TV gave me!"  
  
[Come on, you know you want to.]  
  
"The TV's the devil!"  
  
[I am not!]  
  
Vegeta paused his debate and jumped off the bed to open his bedroom door. Outside, the possessed TV gave a sheepish grin and said in Bejita's voice, "Uh hi!"  
  
The black cloud was currently trying to punch the TV, but being only made up of gas it did absolutely nothing.  
  
The ouji narrowed his eyes, finally recognizing the voice, "Father, that's you isn't it?"  
  
The TV sweatdropped nervously, [Uh... You could say that...]  
  
His son crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, "You had something to do with Kakarotto's change didn't you?"  
  
The TV went static and yelled, [KUSO!]  
  
Vegeta smirked triumphantly, "I knew it!" His eyes flicked up to the cloud, giving it a wary look, "What's his story?"  
  
[Oh Bardock? He went along with the idea. He just had to be 'convinced' into it. But besides that, he's just taking his overprotective father of his baby girl role very seriously.] The cloud thundered again and zapped both royals with bolts of lightning. The TV zapped it back, [Will you stop that?! I'm trying to have a talk with my son!] The cloud rumbled quietly as if grumbling.  
  
Vegeta demanded with a frown, "Why the heck do you want to help me so much anyway?! I mean, I'm grateful for the change in the first place! But you and Mother are really pushing it! Why?!"  
  
[Two words. Grand-kids.]  
  
At once the ouji blushed uncontrollably, "Father!" acting very much like a teenager having a sex talk with his parents. Then he paused and said, "Hey wait a sec, you already have grandchildren anyway!"  
  
The TV snorted, [Oh they don't count! Besides, I also thought it would be funny if Dockers and I were related.]  
  
Cloud and ouji stared at the TV in disbelief.  
  
[What?!]  
  
Vegeta shook his head, "Nevermind. Just...nevermind." With a great sigh, the ouji went to the telephone in his room and called the forbidden number.  
  
The TV turned on once more and you could see Bejita on the screen, holding a phone to his ear, [So you are going to let me help you.]  
  
"I have a condition. If this doesn't work, then you better not try and help me again! You or Mother! I can do this on my own!"  
  
Bejita saluted his son with a grin, [Yes sir!]  
  
The ouji stared at the ou and frowned, "You know I really don't remember you being this weird."  
  
[Several decades in Hell does that to you. Being serious all the time just makes it worse. So I compensated and got myself a sense of humor... It's good too! Want to hear a knock-knock joke?]  
  
Cloud and ouji protested loudly and quickly. "NO! Thank you!"  
  
Bejita frowned, [I'm not that awful.] He conjured up a letter with a small chant and sent it off with a small 'poof.' Then, giving a grin he declared, [And it's done! She'll get it tomorrow!] He checked his watch and said, [Well I have to go. I have places to go, people to see! I'll see ya later, son.]  
  
Vegeta yelped, "Hey wait! Father before you go, I just want to let you know... because I never exactly told you before...Um...." He blushed and said quickly, "I love you Daddy."  
  
Suddenly he heard quick snaps of thunder that sounded suspiciously like laughter and he glared up at the storm cloud, "What the heck are you still doing here?!"  
  
The cloud formed into the misty black words, 'You still needing to pay for peeping, ouji.'  
  
Vegeta paled, "Uh... Father?"  
  
Bejita yelled angrily, [Bardock! You said you wouldn't electrocute him anymore!]  
  
'Don't worry about that. I have much better plans in mind.' The storm cloud resolidified and flashed, gold sparks of energy flying about it.  
  
The TV went static once more, [Uh... Vegeta, son, remember, the greatest battle is the battle not fought.]  
  
Vegeta blinked, "What?"  
  
[RUN!]  
  
By then the cloud had formed into a humanoid form and a body appeared out of the mist. Bardock, in the flesh and ssj2 to boot. He cracked his knuckles and smirked evilly, "Miss me?"  
  
The ouji turned as white as a sheet, once again faced against the freakishly tall and angry saiyajin angel of his nightmares. He screamed at the top of his lungs and ran away for his life in the opposite direction.  
  
Bardock yelled, "You won't get away from me that easily!" He took a first running step, only to step on the hem of his robe and have a less than graceful fall onto his face. Bejita burst into laughter, projecting it loudly out of the TV. Bardock cursed, "Dammit! I need pants!" This just made the ou laugh harder.  
  
The angel looked in the direction of the ouji to find him long gone and he sighed, "Dang it. I'm going to have to extract my revenge another time." Annoyed at the still humored TV, he demanded, "Do you really want me to smash that TV in? And why did you possess such a stupid thing anyway? You look ridiculous in a box like that."  
  
Bejita stopped laughing at once and growled threateningly, [Do not make fun of the box! Or maybe you would feel better if I possessed you instead!]  
  
The angel laughed, "You can't possess the dead, you idiot!"  
  
[You still have your body! Of course I can!]  
  
"Cannot."  
  
[Can too!]  
  
"Cannot!"  
  
[Can too!]  
  
"Cannot!"  
  
[Can too!}  
  
"Can too!"  
  
[Cannot!]  
  
"Can too!"  
  
[CANNOT!] Bejita finally screamed.  
  
The angel stopped and smirked, "Alright. You win. You can't."  
  
The ou turned beet red, realizing that the lower class saiyajin just made him argue with himself. He clenched his fists, a vein threatening to pop at the back of his head. [I'll show you! Prepare to be possessed!]  
  
A transparent form of a miniature Bejita flew out of the TV and up above Bardock. It started laughing maniacally in a high pitched impish voice and dive-bombed the angel....  
  
Only to fly right through him and the floor. All that Bardock felt was a rush of cold flow through and fleets away. The angel sighed, "Idiot. My body's still up in Heaven anyway." He turned transparent himself and poked his head through the floor to assess the damage. He paled instantly.  
  
Below him, right below him, he saw a blue haired woman lying down on the floor as if she just fell down like that. Several suitcases stayed strewn on the floor of the entranceway. A young purple haired kid kneeling by her side was shaking her arm, "Mom! Mom!"  
  
Bardock muttered, "Aw crap!" He floated down to Bulma's body, invisible to all but her and poked her with a quick jolt of energy. Bulma's body jerked up from the floor, awake and alert. Trunks gave a sigh of relief, "Jeez, you scared me!"  
  
Bulma gave him a frown, "Who the heck are you?"  
  
Trunks paled, "Uh... Mom? You're joking right?"  
  
At the word 'Mom' Bulma's eyes went wide and she turned to look at Bardock. The angel mouthed out, 'I think you accidentally possessed your son's imposter mate, Bulma. That brat's probably Trunks.'  
  
Bulma's mouth rounded into a comprehending 'o' and she turned back to Trunks, "Of course I'm joking! Ha ha! What a laugh! Say I must've gotten my noggin' jogged up a little bit though, why don't you tell me what we're doing back here? Especially NOW?"  
  
Trunks gave his mother a very odd look, "We're here because the conference is over, Mom. You already instituted world peace, solved world hunger, the water shortage problem, the gun problem, even the stinky porta potty problem! There was nothing left to do! I can't believe we stayed that long in the first place!"  
  
Bulma's form sighed, "Well maybe we should go on vacation."  
  
Trunks beamed, "Wow! Really? Can Goten come?"  
  
His mother frowned in confusion, "Uh.... sure...."  
  
The chibi cheered and went off to contact his friend. Turning calmly over to the vision of Bardock, BB (Bulma/Bejita) looked up at the angel. Suddenly BB grabbed the angel's robe and screamed in a panic, "How the hell do I get out of this thing?!"  
  
His friend paled, "Wh-WHAT?! What do you mean?! You can't get out?! You got out of that TV thing!"  
  
"That was an inanimate object! I didn't learn about exiting people! It's SLIGHTLY more complicated than that!"  
  
Bardock looked up in thought, "Wait a sec, I think I read something about this." The angel held out his hand and a massive white and gold book poofed out of nowhere onto it. Flipping through half the pages, he said, "This is the official Angel handbook of basically everything. Ah ha! Here we go!  
  
"Demon possessings. Once a demon possesses a mortal, there is no other way to bring out the demon other than force, even if the demon is willing to get out."  
  
BB sighed, "Great. Just great!"  
  
"Wait, there's more." Reading through it first Bardock's mouth slowly turned into a devilish, sly grin, "Methods for ridding the mortal of its demon.  
  
"Trained exorcist.  
  
"Holy Water.  
  
"Ordained priest or pastor.  
  
"Garlic and a cross. (For vampire cases only.)  
  
"Soul rifting by a professional angel.  
  
"In all cases, both demon and mortal will become undeniably saintly. For the demon it is only temporary. Not so for the mortal."  
  
BB looked completely struck by this tidbit of news, muttering to himself, "There has got to be another way."  
  
Bardock grinned and started rolling up his sleeves, "Fortunately I happen to be an expert at Soul Rifting. How holy do you want to be? Extra saintly? Super Christ? Or Ultra God?"  
  
BB said weakly, "I think I'll pass for now." He flopped down on one of the entranceway chairs and thought out loud, "Looks like I'm stuck like this for a bit." Suddenly a wry smile formed on Bulma's face, "You know... Actually possessing this body may prove to be very useful. Very useful indeed..."  
  
Bardock said with worry, "I really don't like that look on your face, Beets."  
  
"Oh ho ho. Believe me, you're not going to like the cause of it any better."  
  
The angel cried, "Bejita! You said you wouldn't help Vegeta out anymore!"  
  
BB stroked Bulma's chin, "That's true enough. But that doesn't mean that Buruma can't!"  
  
"Beets, the name is Bulma."  
  
"....oh."  
  
****  
  
Meanwhile in some other part of the house, Goku sighed as she picked up a comb on top of her dresser and started to comb her hair. She was still wet from her shower and a green towel was wrapped up around her torso. She muttered to herself, very annoyed, "Stupid girly hair. Why the heck do I have to keep on brushing it everyday?" Suddenly she noticed a creamy enveloped with elegant letters of green ink on top of the dresser next to her wrist cuffs.  
  
She picked it up and smiled at the sender, "From Vegeta Oujisama." Putting the comb down she started opening it up, wondering what the contents were. She got the piece of paper and started unfolding it in her hands to read it.  
  
Suddenly she turned green in the face and went running for the bathroom connected to the bedroom, before she could even read a word.  
  
There was a sudden knock at the door and someone calling, "Kayka? You there?" The door creaked open and Mirai came into the empty bedroom. He frowned in frustration, "Why can't I ever find her? I was sure she'd be here." He called out once more, "Kayka? Kayka, you in here?"  
  
No reply, since Goku is too busy retching.  
  
He stepped into the room, only to hear something crumpling beneath his feet. Blinking, he looked down and saw that he just stepped on a discarded piece of paper. "What in the world is this?" he wondered out loud, bending over to pick it up.  
  
"Dear Kayka..." He kept on reading, going through it several times. He grinned, "Must be from a lover of hers. Whoever wrote this obviously put a lot of effort into this. A romantic at heart."  
  
And he was just about to go off to hand the letter to Kayka personally, until he saw the name at the bottom of the page.  
  
"Forever yours,  
Love, Vegeta Oujisama....  
  
****  
  
A/N: Everyone gasp. Yeah, I decided to spice it up a bit. Hope you like. Maybe this can satisfy you guys for a while, while I try writing up the next chapter through my club meetings, Anime Club and Habitat for Humanity, and my IB and AP classes. Wish me luck. I need it. Desperately. 


	19. Jokes or not?

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
Miyanon: Hey guys! I'm back! Finally... This has taken me ages to update! Boy how I hate school! Well enough of that because to make up for it, I've decided to have my first special guest ever! Actually it's guests. Bardock and Bejita, who a certain friend of mine has decided to dub them B&B.  
  
Bardock: Probably because Beets follows me wherever I go.  
  
Bejita: I don't follow you! You follow me! Except for this time when you decided to go out in PUBLIC in the intro of Miya's story! I was just courteous enough to allow you to come out here!  
  
Bardock: ...I think I threatened not to play poker with you unless you came with.  
  
Bejita: Oh shut up!  
  
Miyanon: ...They aren't normally this weird. What's weirder is that I have conversations with them on a regular basis on IM. No! I'm telling the truth! *sigh* Well, I guess my friends are the only ones who can really understand that and not think I'm completely insane...Wait, they think I am anyway... ANYWAY, for a treat, and for some sort of penitence for not updating for so long, I'm going to have a question poll up for B&B, so that you guys can ask them whatever you want! And if they decide NOT to answer I'll threaten them with NON-EXISTENCE.  
  
B&B: *gulp*  
  
Miyanon: Well, since I got that point across, on with the story!  
  
Bejita: *whispers* Exactly why do we hang out with her?  
  
Bardock: *shakes head* That, my friend, is a question that may never be answered. Well, let's play poker! *brings out a pack of cards and chips*  
  
Miyanon: ......................  
  
*****  
  
Vegeta Ouji was having a wonderful dream. A dream of his life with his beloved Kayka. He had figured everything out for them. They live away from Capsule Corps and any other type of civilization, living comfortably off money that they'd win in martial arts tournaments. Alone and free from ningen society, they were wild, saiyajin, able to follow instinct whenever they felt like it. And most importantly, they were in love.  
  
Underneath the soft silk sheets of their bed, Vegeta felt the warm, curved body beside him and a smirk played onto his face. He felt like following those instincts of his right now. Wrapping a strong arm around his mate, nuzzling her soft neck. A strong purr revertebrated throughout the room, and the ouji felt a thrill of pleasure when he realized it wasn't just his own.  
  
His mate turned over, facing into him and responded with gentle nips along his jawline. He began to burn in the most pleasurable way that he could imagine and hungrily took in her eager lips. They both fought for dominance over the kiss, though the female was almost always submissive. But she had equal right for control, having both the right mentality and strength. But far from being frustrated, the constant challenge invigorated the ouji. Her scent alone was driving him mad.  
  
In the short lapses they took for breathe between each passionate, heady kiss, Vegeta pulled his mate closer possessively, and whispered, "God, I can never get enough of you." The younger saiyajin laughed in response, giving him a tender kiss the nose.  
  
.....But something didn't feel quite right... He couldn't feel her mind in sync with his. He should be able to feel his mate's mind. With a slight frown, he bared sharp canines, suddenly burning with the need to re-mark her, re-establish their bond. He grazed his teeth against the soft pulse of her throat, but jerked back violently. What? Where was it? The mark was gone! He withdrew, feeling chills come over his body.  
  
There never was a mark!  
  
No! It was wrong! Wrong! WRONG! Desperate he exposed his own naked neck toward his beloved, pleading her for some sort of assurance. Shivers went throughout his body, feeling her lips brush the hollow of his throat and trailing his strong, corded neck.  
  
Just do it. God, just do it.  
  
He gasped when her sharp teeth pierced his skin. Small trails of blood trickled from the light scrape, but it was no mark. Not yet. He leaned his head back in further invitation, his burning want destroying his rational and any thoughts of the consequences. All he knew right then was that he needed this. Needed her. And if he didn't get her..... He would go insane.....  
  
Suddenly he was pulled away, the rays of the sun were triggering his conscious mind and it was tearing Vegeta away, as if a tyrant. He was forced to open his eyes, looking straight into the blinding sunrise. With a growl of frustration, he flipped over and tried in vain to go back to the dream, but no doubt Goku was thinking of other things. With a great sigh, Vegeta sat up in bed, wrapping his arms around his knees in a protective position.  
  
What just happened? That dream. It felt real. It felt TOO real. His hand touched the aching part of his throat that was still painfully bare of any sort of mark. And it definitely wasn't normal. He could have sworn that Kakarot was right there beside him, even though she never spoke nor could he see her face all that well. But it was undeniably her. So then, what the hell was that?!  
  
Suddenly he recalled the one time that his father told him about something similar to the situation. Bejita and his mate had often shared dreams bordering the physical and metaphysical. Dreams so real that it was like they were right next to each other even if they were thousands of miles away. It happened only to a rare few, the statistics were something like one couple out of forty-million. But what was the most astonishing about it was that it symbolized a coupling of such almost infinite value. And if it was happening to him and Kakarotto.....  
  
Vegeta's eyes lit up in utter shock and amazement. His body shook as he tried in vain to control it, but his face betrayed him with a crooked half- smile. "He- hehe- hahaha! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Laughter of the giddiest kind filled up the room and came out loud and clear right into the hall.  
  
Soulmates! He and Kakarotto were soulmates! They were destined for each other! The ouji knew his thoughts resembled a script right out of a chick- flick, but he really didn't give a damn! Soulmates! He never imagined he would ever be this delighted in his life, but then again, he never imagined that he and Kakarotto were capable of sharing that intense a bond! But apparently, their souls were literally made for each other! He flopped back onto his bed, still laughing like a squeally little girl. Soulmates. He repeated it over and over in his mind, chanting it like a mantra. Such a rare and precious thing.... Although, it was kind of, well..... odd that it happened the generation right after his father's coupling, but who cares!  
  
Grinning madly, he realized that it was nearly a one hundred percent guarantee that he'll have his beloved Kayka!  
  
He frowned. It'd still be nice if Kakarotto stayed a girl though.  
  
Meanwhile, in the room right down the hall, a sweat-slick, restless figure shot up from bed with a pained cry. Staring ahead at nothing, Goku's eyes were wide with panic and her breath was quick and sharp. She couldn't remember.....  
  
The dream! It was fading from her mind, like sand through a sifter. She tried in vain to catch a hold of the details before it escaped her completely. No! Her dream! It was important! There was something that she missed in it, that she knew she had to remember or she'd never be happy! Gripping her head in her hands, she pleaded desperately with her mind to show her the dream, but it stayed as stubborn as a mountain..... or Vegeta.  
  
Wait, it had something to do with him! But that was all she could make out. Dammit, that just wasn't enough!  
  
It was after the panic faded and defeat sunk in that Goku became aware of the strange taste in her mouth. Trembling, she touched her lips and drew her fingers away. The finger tips were coated with blood. And it wasn't her own.....  
  
****  
  
Bardock stared at the ceiling from his bed, suddenly feeling a terrible sense of doom. He looked around his white prison and frowned.  
  
Something bad happened. At least something bad for him. And whatever happened, it was really ticking him off. And what ticked him off even more was that he didn't know what was ticking him off in the first place!  
  
Just then he heard the door open and turned to see Willith strutting in. Bardock scowled, "Oh great. Someone to tick me off even more."  
  
The white-blond angel ignored the comment and scowled angrily, waving an official looking paper in front of the saiyajin's face. "What the hell is this?!"  
  
Bardock gave him a bored look and took the paper, reading,  
  
"Vice-Councilman, Willith, it has come to our attention that Chuui Barudokko has ignored his duty and did not properly dispose of a demon in a possessed ningen's body. He must be disciplined immediately and made to go finish the job.  
  
"Sincerely, Councilwoman Elena."  
  
Bardock stared at the paper and slowly an amused smirk came to his lips. "Oh wait a sec. That's right. That's why they sent it to you. You're responsible for me, aren't you?" Willith twitched in agitation. "You ARE! HA! That's great! So you're going to discipline me, now?"  
  
The angel's lip quivered, but he stood firm, 'Yes, I am."  
  
The dark angel let out a harsh laugh, "Yeah right! I have an idea. How about I spare you the pain and I go take care of the demon ASAP. In exchange, you let me stay at my house. Deal?"  
  
Willith glared at him absolutely furious, squaking indignantly, "WHAT?! Who do you think I am?!"  
  
"It's a simple yes or no question, Willith," Bardock sighed in exasperation.  
  
The white-blond angel shifted uncomfortably and muttered grudgingly, "Yes."  
  
The saiyajin grinned victoriously, "Alright! Consider it done!" He jumped up from his bed and started heading out the room.  
  
"Hey! You have to swear not to be up to no good from now on!" Willith cried.  
  
Bardock turned and gave him a toothy, vampire grin, "Now, now Willith. That's not part of the deal. We can talk about it when I come back. Ciao." In that instant, he disappeared, heading towards the mortal realm.  
  
Willith gaped at the spot where the dark angel stood and cried out in frustration, "Why the little- ARGH!! I can't stand him!!"  
  
****  
  
Bardock arrived at Capsule Corps a split second later, invisible to all this time. Including BB. He quickly found the possessed scientist in the living room, concocting some sort of scheme or other before Vegeta and his daughter woke up. All of it was mapped out on a gigantic poster that covered almost the entire free space of the floor. Curious, Bardock glanced over it, approving and disapproving certain points in it. It was when he got to Plan G, that he decided that it would be a hazard to his health if he allowed Bejita to continue inhabiting Bulma's body.  
  
Now the only question was exactly how he was going to separate demon from ningen. Soul-rifting..... was a bit too extreme in his opinion. He didn't exactly like the idea of tearing the two entities apart and then wiping the evil and a whole lot of memories clean out of them.  
  
.....Yeah, not that. Holy water's probably better. But where the heck was he going to get that? Ah right! He went over to the kitchen and took a glass from the cabinet, filling it up with tap water. And now to bless it.  
  
He gathered up the spittle at the back of his throat and spat in the water, instantly blessing it. He grinned, "That's good enough!"  
  
Suddenly he heard someone run past behind him whipped around quickly enough to see BB running past in the hallway. "What in the-" He cried, "Bejita! Hey wait!" Ah great, she disappeared into the maze of corridors. Now he was going to have to spend hours looking for her! Why did everything have to be so complicated?! Bardock twitched, nearly cracking the glass in his grip. An angel can only take so much before he blows. He spotted the culprit over in the living room, looking around for his 'mother'. The dark angel muttered coldly, staulking over to the unfortunate teenager, "Too bad you caught me on a really bad day, brat."  
  
He tossed half of the content of the glass onto Mirai, yelling angrily, "Bless you!" However, it didn't have the desired effect that Bardock wanted at all. Instead of falling to the floor in groveling repentance, Mirai just shivered at the slight chill that came over his body while pink smoke visible only to Bardock began to waft from his body.  
  
Bardock turned as white as a sheet, matching his brilliantly white robe, as he realized his mistake. "D'oh! The women repellant! I forgot all about it! Dammit, Queen Ruby's going to kill me!" Glaring hatefully at the oblivious demi-saiyajin Bardock dumped the rest of the water over Mirai's head. "Grovel! Now!"  
  
Mirai let out a sqawk of surprise as his knees buckled and he fell to the floor in a prostrating position. The dark angel smirked, content at finally getting his way. Noting his empty cup, he headed back to the kitchen to get a refill, leaving the demi-saiyajin to fend for himself.  
  
The teenager twitched, physically unable to move his rigid body from the floor. He called out, "Help?! Anyone?! I'm stuck!"  
  
****  
  
Vegeta hummed gaily as he worked to prepare breakfast. He'd never been in such a good mood all his life! Soulmates! HE still couldn't get it out of his mind. He didn't even notice a glass float into the room, fill itself with water then leave. He was oblivious to everything as he thought of the dream. It was so delicious..... He dumped the egg yolks into the garbage and put the shells in the pancake batter. But he still had to figure out how to keep Kakarotto a girl, dammit! He put 10 tablespoons of pepper in the mix. Well, that didn't matter right now! He had to work on making the perfect breakfast for his future mate! He poured 2/3 cups of vegetable oil in.  
  
Then he paused to take a look at his concoction. It wasn't supposed to look speckled gray... He shrugged and stirred it up anyway, "Well, Mirai can have it." Nothing could get him down today!  
  
But he was nearly bursting to tell someone, anyone. It simply wasn't his nature to be this excited about anything and if he didn't tell someone quick he was going to lose all his self control!  
  
He suddenly sensed Goku's ki come nearer and purred when he could smell her sweet musky scent. Goku frowned as she came in through the open arched door.  
  
Was there a cat in the kitchen?  
  
And something smelled like burning compost. She covered her nose and said in a muffled voice, "Morning Geta."  
  
Vegeta slowly turned and leaned on the stove, giving Goku a sweet, languid smile, "Good morning, Kayka."  
  
Goku blinked, not usually on the receiving end of that kind of expression. She sniffed the air experimentally again. Burning flesh?! She glanced over at the stove and shrieked, "VEGETA! YOU'RE COOKING YOUR HAND!"  
  
The ouji blinked and looked down at the stove, where his hand was leaning on the hot stove and smoking. "UUAAAAAHHHH!!!" He screamed and pried his hand off of the stove to shove it in the stove and water it down with ice cold water. Behind him, Goku was struggling to contain her laughter. When a snort escaped her, Vegeta snapped back at her in embarrassed indignation, "Oh shut up!"  
  
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Goku just laughed at him anyway. "Geta, I can't believe you didn't even notice!!" Vegeta just glowered at her. "Oh stop pouting."  
  
"I'm not pouting."  
  
The younger saiyajin smiled, "Oh don't worry about it. My hair caught fire once and I didn't notice either."  
  
Vegeta stared at her in disbelief. Suddenly he snorted and soon doubled over to the ground, pounding the floor with tears in eyes, laughing like there was no tomorrow. Goku laughed weakly, "Uh yeah, it is funny." But he kept on laughing for another five minutes. Goku narrowed her eyes and smacked him over the head.  
  
"OW!"  
  
"That's not nice!" Goku pouted, folding her arms over her chest.  
  
".........Want me to make it up to you?" the ouji asked, a sly grin on his face.  
  
"No."  
  
Vegeta muttered with a frown, "Damn, that's cold."  
  
Giggling, the taller saiyajin said, "I'm just kidding. So how do you want to make it up to me?"  
  
"A kiss!" The ouji's eyes bulged out and he slapped his hands over his mouth.  
  
At once, Goku's eyes went narrow and she said disbelievingly, "Eh?"  
  
Vegeta blushed and laughed nervously, "I'm just kidding! Haha-hehe! See! Just a joke! Haha!" How the hell did he let something like that slip?!  
  
"I don't think it's funny," the younger saiyajin frowned. "Really, no one should joke about that sort of thing."  
  
"I wasn't! No-! I mean I was- but!" Vegeta shut it before he could dig himself in a deeper hole than he was already in. "Okay, just scratch that. How about I take you out for brunch?"  
  
"You're not joking about this either right?"  
  
The ouji huffed indignantly, "What do you take me for?! You know no saiyajin ever jokes about food!"  
  
Goku sighed with relief, "Oh okay, I just can't tell when you're joking or not." With a grin she adds, "But first I gotta go and change though! Be back in five!" Running out of the room, she nearly bounded up the stairs.  
  
Vegeta looked over at the gray mush that he had made and sighed, dumping the entire thing in the garbage. A kiss! He felt like kicking himself. How could he be so stupid?! Obviously this soulmate thing was affecting him more than he had previously thought. He needed to tell somebody before he did something so stupid again!  
  
Mirai was a definite no-no. Trunks just wouldn't appreciate the grandness of it all. Bulma! She'd understand! With a victorious grin Vegeta went off in search of the shrewd scientist. Her ki was nearby actually. He frowned at the nearly doorless hallway. There wasn't anything here except a broom closet!  
  
'CREEAAAKKSHHH'  
  
And that just came from said closet. Smirking, the ouji went over to the door and opened it up. Inside he saw Bulma still in her pajamas, stuck in a bucket while she was trying to untangle herself from the fishline, hose, and mops that had come falling on top of her. "How very dignified, onna."  
  
"Oh shut it!" She snapped irritably. "Help me out of here!"  
  
"I don't think so. I have something to tell you and I think it would be much safer for my personal well being if you just stayed right where you are. Onna, I am in love with Kakarot."  
  
Bulma looked up at him with narrow unimpressed eyes, "And your point is...?"  
  
Vegeta blinked. "You- you're not mad? Not even surprised? At all?"  
  
The scientist rolled her eyes, "Well it was bound to happen sometime. Now would you help me out?!"  
  
"Now that's just disappointing," Vegeta frowned as he pulled the possessed Bulma out of the wreckage.  
  
Bulma pulled the bucket off her butt and grinned, "Well that was easy."  
  
With a sigh, Vegeta added, "Well, if you're not already surprised by that, then it wouldn't hurt to say that we're soulmates, too."  
  
The reaction is explosive. Bulma screamed at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE WHAT?!!" She grabbed the ouji's shirt and demanded, "HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE SOULMATES?! THAT'S FREAKIN' IMPOSSIBLE!!!"  
  
Wide-eyed, Vegeta grabbed her by the shoulders and dumped her back into the closet, slamming the door on her and locking it. Inside Bulma pounded on the door, "YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!!" Instead, Vegeta just took off, wanting to let her cool down before he even tried to reason with her. Unfortunately for him, he was out of hearing range when Bulma yelled, "YOU DUMBASS! THIS IS YOUR FATHER!! YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT SOULMATES!! YOU FOOL! COME BACK HERE BEFORE YOU RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!! VEGETAAA!!!"  
  
Suddenly the door opened, just as BB was pounding on it. As a result she fell down on the floor right at a pair of gold tipped boots. "Vegeta!"  
  
The wrong, yet familiar voice said, "Um, Beets? What were you doing locked in a closet?"  
  
BB looked up and to her dismay saw, the scarred angel frowning down at her with a cup of glowing water in his hand. "Dockers! What the hell are you doing here?!"  
  
"Uh... No offense, but I'm here to unpossess the woman you possessed. So if you don't mind-" The dark angel poured the water down, but BB yipped and miraculously dodged it by rolling off to the side. Bardock glared at the possessed scientist, "Oh come on! You have to get out of that body sometime! And I have a good deal on your immediate departure!"  
  
BB cried, "No! You don't understand! Vegeta and Kakarot are soulmates!!"  
  
The angel turned a deathly pale, the only color contrasting the white on him, his ebony eyes and hair. "Bejita, don't even joke like that."  
  
"I'm not joking! Vegeta told me himself!"  
  
Bardock said weakly, as if the whole world around him was crumbling. "Vegeta... told you... himself...?"  
  
BB nodded his head vigorously. "You know a saiyajin would NEVER joke about that! We have to find him before he does something stupid! Bardock? BARDOCK!!!"  
  
The angel had fainted.  
  
****  
  
[END OF PART 19]  
  
Bejita: *puts down his cards* HA! A royal flush!  
  
Bardock: How the- *slams down his cards* How do you get a royal flush every time?!  
  
Bejita: *smirks* I'm a king! Royalty is attracted to me!  
  
Bardock: *twitches*  
  
Miyanon: Exactly how much time do you spend playing poker?  
  
Bejita: *grins* At least four hours everyday!  
  
Miyanon: *sweatdrops* You guys really need a hobby.  
  
Bejita: But we do! It's diligently practicing the art of magic and deception!  
  
Bardock: Magic and deception...? I knew it! *points an accusing finger at the demon* You were cheating the whole time!  
  
Bejita: *huffs* No, I wasn't! I was practicing the art of magic and deception?  
  
Bardock: You give me back my chips, cheater!  
  
Bejita: Oh come on, I'm a demon from hell! What do you expect?!  
  
Miyanon: Uh... right... ANYWAY, that really took too long for me to write. I hate writer's block!  
  
Bardock: *mutters sarcastically* Don't we all?  
  
Miyanon: Oh shush. I blame it all on the writing projects I've been having. If you want the complete list go to my story Incidences of Madness. But I will say that I've been working on a website! If you wanna visit, click the link on my profile! I just put up a guestbook, too, so please sign in!  
  
Bardock: You're really desperate for some visitors aren't you?  
  
Miyanon: *sighs* I've been advertising it a lot. So far I've had 74 visitors, about 60 of them being myself.  
  
Bejita: .....*points and laughs* BWAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Miyanon: ...Thank you. Thank you very much.  
  
Bejita: *grins* You're welcome!  
  
Bardock: Before you start bickering. Thank you for reading!  
  
Miyanon: How come you're the one saying goodbye?  
  
Bardock: I'm the guest, you have to be courteous.  
  
Miyanon: Point.  
  
Bejita: I'm a guest too! Get me some food!  
  
Miyanon: Don't push your luck.  
  
Bejita: *pouts* Awww. 


	20. The Valentine Disaster

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will  
  
****  
  
Miyanon: Hi guys! Welcome back to another chapter of Onnafied! Anyway, B&B are back in the intro once again! *glances at them and gawks* You guys are still playing poker?!  
  
Bejita: *grins* But of course. It's the favorite pastime in hell!  
  
Miyanon: Have you even stopped since the last time we signed off?  
  
B&B: *sweatdrop nervously*  
  
Miyanon: *snatches the cards away* Give me those! Go find something else to do! Poker addicts! You're well on your way to becoming excessive gamblers!  
  
Bejita: Hey! We don't gamble!  
  
Miyanon: *points* Then what about those chips?  
  
Bejita: Dockers always makes me give back the chips and vice-versa. He insists on it, the angel. *snickers*  
  
Bardock: *twitches and huffs* Well excuse me for not wanting to get in trouble for gambling.  
  
Miyanon: But don't you want to get in trouble?  
  
Bardock: Well yes, but not for gambling. I don't get sent to hell just rehabilitated. And I do NOT want to get sent to one of their "Special" Centers. *shivers*  
  
Miyanon: *frowns* What in the world's in a Special Center?  
  
Bardock: I don't want to know. The last person I saw come out of it turned into a perfect saint. He's currently Saint Joe, patron saint of diners.  
  
Bejita: What was he before?  
  
Bardock: One of Frieza's goons. Out of sheer luck he managed to get up to Heaven because he was wearing a rosary.  
  
Miyanon: ...That heaven has the weirdest qualification system I have ever heard of.  
  
Bejita: *ahem* I don't want to seem like the goody-two-shoes, but what about the fic?  
  
Miyanon: Huh? Oh right! Oops.  
  
Bardock: Nice, Miya.  
  
Miyanon: By the way, the questions will be answered after the fic!  
  
****  
  
Mirai cricked his rigid back once more in the hopes of getting that dull ache out of it. Only half an hour ago he managed to actually get out of that awful prostrated position on the floor! He back made a loud 'pop' and at once the tension eased in his spine. Then he turned back to the business at hand.  
  
The love letter.  
  
He spent the ENTIRE day yesterday trying to get a hold of either Kayka or his mother, but for some reason he just couldn't find them! It was as if they were avoiding him, but that wasn't possible without him at least catching an eyeful of them, which he didn't! Not only that but he spent the better part of the morning hunched over on the floor unable to move for God knows what reason!  
  
Life was just so damn frustrating!  
  
Mirai patted his shirt where the scented note was hidden, making sure that it was still there. With a sigh, he thought that there wasn't anything left for him to do, but confront his father himself. It sure as hell wasn't going to be pretty, seeing as the letter was supposed to be PRIVATE. He'd have to beat his father to the punch... literally!  
  
He searched for his father's ki and found it off the way towards the center of the city. Frowning he wondered why his father would be over there. Uh oh, Kayka was right next to him! Drat! He was going to have to separate them somehow and get his father off on his own!  
  
"Well, no time like the present," the teenager muttered to himself, readying himself to fly off in the direction of his father's ki and dreading the encounter that was inevitably to come.  
  
...Then again, maybe he should wait until they got back...  
  
...yeah...  
  
****  
  
Shoppers were already frequenting Paris Lane in the early, rosy morning, the night-lights of the many designer shops just going out. The pink- bricked sidewalk ran along the pastel colored doors for blocks upon blocks, decorated every couple of yards by caste iron, green lamp poles.  
  
A few years back, the project engineers of West City decided that it would be a good idea to bring the colorful essence of Europe into the Asian continent. Due to lack of planning and funds, what West City got instead was the essence of Disneyland. But no one really minded, so they just decided to leave it like that.  
  
Now Goku and her prince slowly walked together side by side down the busy shopper's boulevard, the former quickly becoming more and more uncomfortable with the looks that the majority of men are giving her.  
  
She whispered to her companion, "Geta. People are doing it again," thinking back to the time that they went together to Grand Kai's planet.  
  
Vegeta looked around and his possessiveness flared when he saw what exactly the younger saiyajin was talking about. His eye twitching like mad, he immediately linked his arm in Goku's somewhat a bit harder than he should. Oblivious, she said gratefully, "Thanks Geta."  
  
Offhandedly, the ouji said, "You know, it's not a bad thing to be noticed." Meanwhile he was giving some of the poor single blokes, 'Look at her and die' looks.  
  
Goku frowned, "How is it a good thing?"  
  
The ouji fumbled for an explanation, blushing slightly. "Ah, well. It means that you're an attractive woman and men are interested in se- getting to know you better!" he amended quickly.  
  
"That's so shallow."  
  
Vegeta made a small huff, "Oh please. You can't tell me you haven't looked at anyone like that."  
  
A light blush came onto the younger saiyajin's face, "Well... maybe one person..."  
  
"Oh?" the ouji said curiously. "Not that harpy wife of yours, right?"  
  
"Eh?! Oh, no! I mean yes!" The blush on her cheeks became darker, "Ah dammit!"  
  
"I'll take that as a no," Vegeta chuckled. "So who?"  
  
"I'm not telling!" Goku cried indignantly.  
  
The ouji merely grinned and thought to himself, {Maybe it's me.} Then his face fell, {Then again, maybe it's Mirai.} Frowning he wondered how he knew that Goku was his soulmate anyway. Well, there was that freaky dream.  
  
{But one erotic dream can't count for everything can it? Well, if she had the same dream then that would prove we are soulmates. If she didn't...} he paled, {I would have to performed Shisok'ten.} Gods, he did not want to do that! He shivered at the thought involuntarily.  
  
{Too late though. I already blabbed to Bulma. That was so stupid!} he thought angrily to himself. {Well, she wasn't saiyajin so it didn't really count did it? But she reacted so violently! Might as well have been a saiyajin. Wait... if I just don't ask Kakarot about the dream thing, then I'd be fine.}  
  
Then he chastised himself, {Dammit! That's just being cowardly!} He still did NOT want to do Shisok'ten though. {I'll lose my honor over this if I don't ask!} He looked down at his pants. {But I might lose my manhood if she says no!} Again, another shiver.  
  
"Dammit!" he cursed violently. Goku gave him an odd look for that completely random statement. But before she could comment, Vegeta demanded, "Did you have any funky dreams last night?"  
  
The younger saiyajin frowned in slight confusion and looked up in thought. "You know... I think I did, but I don't remember."  
  
Vegeta twitched and muttered to himself, "Beautiful." Well, at least his manhood was safe... for now...  
  
They drifted back into silence, brushing past many window shoppers on the brick sidewalk. While they were walking, Goku's eyes trailed to a certain shop's display window, so obviously that Vegeta looked to see what had caught her interest.  
  
It was a pastel green pet store, the name "Swenward's Pets" written in bright red and yellow charlesworth lettering on the window. The display case held animals of all sorts: puppies, kittens, a tortoise, a parrot, a couple parakeets and some furry fuzzballs that he'd never seen before. Vegeta was unnerved by their red eyes. {What in the world does she see in there?} He ignored it for now.  
  
Finally, they reached their destination. A petit, old style café out in the open air surrounded by gardens and a fountain, isolating it from the bustling boulevard. It looked quite popular with many of the couples in the city. Goku instantly became uneasy at the sight of it. She looked up at the cast iron sign hanging from a lamppost.  
  
'The Valentine Café'  
  
She gulped nervously, "Uh...Vegeta, what are we doing here?"  
  
The ouji responded calmly, "Bulma took me here a lot." Then he quickly added, "They have a good brunch here." He cursed mentally, thinking that he made it sound like some sort of excuse. Why would he need an excuse to bring her here?! "What's wrong with it anyway?"  
  
Goku said quickly, raising her arms defensively, "Oh! No! Nothing! It's perfect!" She just didn't have the heart to tell him she didn't... exactly feel comfortable here. Vegeta looked so eager to bring her here.  
  
However, she felt an odd sort of tension when the Maitre D led the duo over to a quiet Japanese set bungalow over near the fountain and gave them menus. The table looked like it could seat twelve. Obviously, Vegeta had been here a lot. She sat Indian style on the padded cushions and looked around her surroundings again.  
  
There was something slightly... magic about the English/Japanese garden surroundings. The many couples making out really wasn't helping either... Well, she wasn't going to hurt the oblivious ouji's feelings just because this place made her feel funky, she thought to herself with determination.  
  
However, the oblivious ouji was feeling just as nervous about his environs as the oblivious younger saiyajin. {Oh God, what possessed me to bring her here?!}  
  
There was definitely something extremely funky about this place and he knew it.  
  
95% of the people who ate here, rented a room in a hotel afterwards, most of them going to the deluxe resort that just happened to be across the boulevard. It just wasn't normal! But he also dearly did not want to be part of that 5% that DIDN'T get a room.  
  
He mumbled incoherent curses under his breath, while Goku busied herself with the foreign tongued menu. This courting thing should be a piece of cake! They're the last two saiyajins alive. They're man and woman. And not only that but they're soulmates for crying out loud! ...Or... at least they should be... He also didn't catch what the other saiyajin just said.  
  
"What was that Kakarot?"  
  
"I asked what you were getting, Geta," the younger saiyajin smiled, hiding her discomfort.  
  
For some reason... His mind went completely blank...  
  
He hastily scrambled for the first thing he could think of, "FISH!" Wait a sec...Fish for brunch?!  
  
Goku grinned, "Oh wow! I guess you do like fish after all! Okay! I'll have what you have then!"  
  
Vegeta laughed nervously, "Uh, right." His eyes quickly scanned the whole menu and they widened in alarm. There wasn't a single dish of seafood on the whole menu. He visibly paled. Oh no, now what?! He couldn't possibly just say they didn't have fish after saying that he was going to get it! He'd look like a complete idiot!  
  
The younger saiyajin asked in alarm, "Geta? Are you okay? You look like you're going to faint."  
  
The ouji shrugged it off, "It's nothing. I'll just uh... I need to go to the bathroom! Be right back!" Without another word, he ran off to the bathrooms near the entrance of the café, hidden from Goku's view. However, he never got to the bathroom. He went over to the Maitre D instead.  
  
Maitre D smiled as the ouji approached, "Ah, Mr. Briefs. How may I be of service? Are you having a good time with your mistress."  
  
Vegeta tensed up immediately and yelled, "It's Oujisama, damn you! How many times do I have to tell you I'm not married to Bulma Briefs!...And Kakarot's not my mistress!"  
  
The annoying man merely smiled, "Whatever you say sir. Now how may I help you?"  
  
"I need fish," the ouji muttered grudgingly.  
  
Maitre D instantly paled, "Why sir! We never serve fish! Especially not in the quantity that you usually desire! We've never brought fish into our kitchens before! The cooks wouldn't know what to do with it!" Vegeta brought out a wad of money, all of the bills picturing good ol' Benny. Maitre D grabbed it and bowed respectfully to the ouji, "I'll see what we can do Mr. Oujisama."  
  
Vegeta smirked, "Better."  
  
****  
  
Meanwhile, hidden in the bushes near the Japanese bungalow that the younger saiyajin was occupying, the two busybody, Otherworldly fathers were spying on daughter and future-daughter-by-bond. Bejita was out of Bulma's body and back into his metaphysical form. Bulma happened to be dumped in a closet at Capsule Corps until she woke up from the Holy Water demon exorcism.  
  
Bardock frowned as he watched Goku humming to herself waiting for Vegeta to come back. "What kind of date is he?" he sneered disapprovingly. "Soulmates aren't supposed to just leave their dates alone in a strange place like this."  
  
Bejita just made a tired, "Hn," and leaned against a tree.  
  
"Soulmates aren't supposed to have fish for breakfast either! How stupid is that?!" Bardock felt like ranting. He didn't know why. Probably because he was thoroughly ticked off that his daughter was stuck with the ouji no matter what he did. "And WHY in the world is her soulmate spending so much time in the bathroom?!"  
  
"Bardock, will you just stop bitching about it already?!" The ou snapped irritably.  
  
Only then did the angel notice how flushed and pale that his friend looked. He gave him a worried frown, "Beets, are you okay?" Come to think of it, the ou hadn't been looking too well since he poured that Holy Water on Bulma and freed him.  
  
The ou coughed and fell onto his bottom, still leaning against the tree. He was all right before, but there was something about this place was made him feel really, REALLY funky. "Dockers...I don't...feel too good," he declared before he unceremoniously fell to the ground in an unconscious heap.  
  
"BEJITA!!"  
  
****  
  
Oblivious to the Otherworldly beings as ever, Vegeta finally makes his way back to the bungalow, glad he got the whole fish thing sorted out with one simple word. Bouillabaisse. Okay, maybe it wasn't that simple. Hell, he couldn't say it with the right accent himself, but it WAS one word. Or was it?  
  
Pondering over the randomness of his mind, he sat right back down in the seat he left and smiled at the person in front of him, "Hello again, Kayka."  
  
"Oh hello dearie!"  
  
Vegeta's eyes bulged out before he- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -screamed...  
  
Auntie Mae smiled gently, as though she never heard the wail of pure, deep threaded terror that the ouji just emitted, "But I do believe you have my name wrong. It's Auntie Mae, dear."  
  
Vegeta visibly cringed away from her, backing up into the bungalow's waist high ledge, which kept him from falling off of the elevated area. "What have you done with Kayka?!" he demanded fiercely.  
  
"I'm over here, Geta."  
  
The ouji gave another shriek when the voice came from right beside him. Goku looked ready to go into laughing fits, he noted resentfully. He didn't even notice her there!  
  
*  
  
Bardock would have commented, "What kind of soulmate doesn't even notice his counterpart?! He doesn't act like a soulmate at all! How do we know he is one?!" if he wasn't trying to rouse the unconscious ou.  
  
At which Bejita would have said, "You better hope he is or he'll have to perform Shisok'ten," if he wasn't unconscious.  
  
Bardock would have said, "I wouldn't mind," if not for the reason stated above.  
  
Then Bejita would have smacked him repeatedly over the head, again if he wasn't unconscious.  
  
*  
  
"What are you doing here?!" the ouji demanded, glaring at the elderly woman. Goku gave him a disapproving look at his tone.  
  
Auntie Mae said cheerfully, "Oh I was just passing by and I saw your mother- " Vegeta twitched, "-and I decided that I just had to come by and say hello! I didn't think I'd see you here!" She pinched the ouji's cheek to his horror, "You're just as cute as ever!"  
  
{Is she completely blind?!} he mentally screamed at himself. {And why can't she stop touching me?!}  
  
"By the way, is your husband here?" Auntie Mae asked Goku.  
  
Blushing furiously, the young saiyajin muttered, "Uh... he's not here..."  
  
"Oh that's too bad. I really envy you young folk though. You look so good together!" Vegeta's hands shook uncontrollably as he kept himself from strangling the old woman.  
  
Laughing nervously, Goku sweatdropped, "Uh sure..."  
  
****  
  
Bardock shook his ou repeatedly, not daring to use any more heaven spells on him that might make him any sicker. Bejita wasn't looking any better at all. What the heck was he supposed to do, bring him to a Hell hospital?! Well... Queen Ruby probably knew what to do...  
  
Then to his relief, his friend started to stir, groaning as his ebony eyes started to open.  
  
The angel gave a breath of relief and grinned, "Jeez, you really scared me there, Beets."  
  
Bejita winced as he sat up and leaned himself against the tree. "What the heck happened?" he demanded softly.  
  
Bardock shrugged, "I have absolutely no idea." Heat exhaustion maybe. I don't know how a demon from hell can be affected by heat, but it's either that or the Holy Water." Then he muttered, "Damn that Holy Water! I should have never used it!"  
  
Suddenly, the angel was smacked across the face. Bejita chastised him, holding an accusing finger in front of Bardock's face, "Don't damn anything Dockers! Especially not Holy Water!"  
  
Bardock blinked several times, staring at the offender incredulously. "Beets... Did you just bitchslap me?!"  
  
Bejita stared at his hand in horror, "My God! I did! What came over me?!" At once the angel started to relax... That is, until the demon cried, "How could I have done something so violent?!"  
  
"WAK!!" The angel stumbled over his footing and feel to the grassy floor. He quickly recovered and started shaking the ou like mad, "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH BEJITA?!"  
  
The demon just shrugged out of the angel's grip, "Nothing is wrong-" Suddenly he looked past their hiding place the bush and gazed out into the open air café filled with the loving couples. "-with me..." he finished weakly. He crawled over by the bush and peeked out of it to get a better look. He grabbed his friend's robe to pull him over and he said in a sort of enwrapped awe, "Bardock! Do you see that?!"  
  
Frowning, the angel followed the demon's train of sight. "...Bejita, I don't see anything."  
  
This time the ou cupped Bardock's head in his hands and made him look at a loving couple making out over by the fountain. "Okay, now what do you see?"  
  
Bardock shook himself free from Bejita's grip, "I see that you've gone completely off the deep end!!"  
  
Grinning a manic smile, the demon declared, "Far from it! My mind has never been clearer!" He stood up and declared, "I HAVE FOUND MY CALLING!!" Fortunately for Bardock, nobody could see them... But from the expressions that the people were giving, they could definitely hear them.  
  
After shielding their voices with a spell, Bardock pulled Bejita back down into the bushes and said in a hushed yell, "You HAVE gone insane!!"  
  
Bejita said excitedly, "No! Don't you see! I shall become... the Patron Saint of RANDY!!"  
  
Blinking several times, the angel cried out in disbelief, "You?! A saint?! What do you want to be a saint for?! Why do you want to be a saint anyway?!" Then it hit him.  
  
The Holy Water! It made him holy! At least temporarily. Oh damn...  
  
"Well this is a fine mess," the angel muttered. "We have an evil angel and a holy demon. But what the heck is Randy?!"  
  
A sadistic grin came to the ou's face. "Perhaps a demonstration would be nice." He clambered out of the bushes, wielding his pitchfork like a baton as he sauntered over to a lonely couple over near some rose bushes. Once he got behind the brown haired girl he turned, still grinning a manic smile. Bardock quickly stumbled after him, nearly tripping over his robe.  
  
Suddenly, Bejita bonked the brown haired girl over the head with his pitchfork, yelling, "And I dub thee RANDY!" and Bardock emitted a cry of horror. Okay, maybe he was an evil angel. But he wasn't quite THAT evil.  
  
"BEJITA! WHAT IS UP WITH THE RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE?!"  
  
The ou grinned, "Random act of violence NOT! Random act of love YES!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Bejita waved a hand towards the slightly twitching girl. "Observe." All at once the girl's eyes formed into big bubbly pink hearts and she lunged for her date, instantly playing tongue hockey with him. Not that her date really minded.  
  
The angel gave his ou a very confused look. So much so that he looked like an exact copy of male Goku. Bejita burst into laughter at the look of him. The angel said weakly, "So that's supposed to be Randy?"  
  
"Yup!" the ou beamed.  
  
"...So...what is it?"  
  
"RANDY! AKA horny."  
  
Bardock's eyes bulged, "Horny?!" The ou nodded. His friend trembled into overwhelming disbelief. "Wait a sec... Let me get this straight. You want to be... THE PATRON SAINT OF HORNINESS?!"  
  
"It is MY CALLING!!"  
  
"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR CALLING?! H-HEY!!" Bejita started walking off towards the bungalows, twirling his pitchfork, and dubbing random people Randy along the way. Bardock yelled, "BEJITA, SAIYAJIN NO OU!! COME BACK HERE BEFORE YOU COMPLETELY EMBARRASS YOURSELF!!"  
  
Extreme panic was left in the demon's wake and as the angel followed, he idly wondered whether the Holy Water really made Bejita holy or just completely insane. It was then, to his horror, that he realized that Bejita was heading right for the Japanese bungalow that Goku and Vegeta occupied. He whispered, "Oh no... BEJITA!! DON'T YOU DARE!! DON'T YOU DARE OR ELSE I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!!"  
  
Bejita called back, "Dockers, shame-shame! You should know that love is indiscriminate!" Smiling devilishly, he neared the bungalow's elevated entrance and hopped up the steps. Before the angel could stop his, Bejita whacked his victim over the head, declaring, "AND I DUB THEE RANDY!!"  
  
Bardock screamed in horror, until he realized... exactly who the participants of the resulting kiss were...  
  
****  
  
{OH MY GOD!!!} Vegeta's mind was going on the blink as he realized what was happening. Only a couple seconds before he was in his own naïve happy little world, watching the panic in the café with a sense of hilarity of the situation. Suddenly, it was all shattered into a world of ultimate humiliation, doom, and chaos.  
  
HE WAS BEING KISSED BY A MONSTER THAT HAD TO BE 2000 YEARS OLD!!! {HOLY CRAP!! SHE'S TRYING TO TONGUE ME!!!}  
  
Instantly he pushed Auntie Mae off of him and ran to the bathroom, screaming in agony at the top of his lungs. However, in his panic, on the way he accidentally ran himself into a tree and knocked himself out.  
  
Unknowingly, he had slammed Auntie Mae's head against the ledge and she reverted straight back to normal. Shaking herself out of the daze, she stared after the ouji with wide, horrified eyes. With a gasp she covered her mouth, "Oh no! What have I done?! How could have I done such a thing to a poor child?!" She kept on talking to herself like that, chastising herself ferociously for doing something so completely insane.  
  
However, she didn't stop to notice the unnatural change of mood in the younger saiyajin's face...  
  
****  
  
After recovering from his fits of laughter that was threatening to tear his metaphysical body apart. He soon stopped laughing when he realized that his daughter's eyes had gone completely red. He blinked a couple times and said, "Okay, that is...really creepy."  
  
Bejita merely grinned, "It's all part of my master plan."  
  
"Master plan? ......MASTER PLAN?!" The angel pointed an accusing finger at the demon, "I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU DIDN'T GO NUTS!! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR INTERFERING IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP MORE!!"  
  
Frowning, the ou said calmly, "Really Dockers, you're going to lose your voice from yelling so much. And what do you mean interfering in their relationship? My master plan is to spread the love among the young people in the mortal realm today."  
  
Bardock twitched, looking like he was on the verge of losing it. "Beets, you do realize that love and lust are two completely different things, right?"  
  
Bejita blinked and frowned in confusion, "What in the world are you talking about?" The angel promptly lost his footing and fell to the ground. Once he got up, he realized that the ou was going off on a Randy rampage again and that his daughter had left in a furious rage, leaving a confused old woman behind and dragging an unconscious ouji out by the collar. Hanging his head he groaned, "Why me?"  
  
****  
  
Goku was upset.  
  
No, upset was an understatement.  
  
She was a plethora of agonizing emotions all rolling within her at once, threatening to tear her sanity apart. Anger, indignation, horror, grief, jealousy, fury, confusion, envy, rage, repulsion; all were boiling within her stew of emotions. And yet beneath it all was something so irrefutable, so strange that she hardly knew it for what it was.  
  
She also didn't understand what was going through her mind. Jealous? Why in the world would she be jealous?! But it was true. When she saw Auntie Mae kissing Vegeta all she knew then was that she wanted to strangle the life out of that woman.  
  
It was ridiculous.  
  
But true.  
  
She dragged her ouji outside onto the brick pavement, almost glaring at him accusingly for what happened. Many people brushed past her as they quickly made their way across the street towards the 'VALENTINE RESORT - HOTEL'. She watched them go in bitter resentment and prepared to IT back to Capsule Corps.  
  
Then she heard odd echoes coming from the packed café. As if the screams were smothered by a wall.  
  
~I DUB THEE RANDY! AND THEE! AND THEE! AND THEE!~  
  
~NO! BEJITA! STOP IT!~  
  
~AND THEE! AND THEE!~  
  
~SNAP OUT OF IT MAN!~  
  
Screams of chaos ensued. More and more people were going for people that they have never seen before.  
  
~ACK! NO! BEJITA, DON'T DO IT TO ME!!!~  
  
Goku stared at the café, blinking in confusion, before slowly bringing two fingers up to her forehead and ITing back to Vegeta's room in Capsule Corps.  
  
Meanwhile, inside the café, amidst the confusion of the randiness, Auntie Mae had been 'Randied' once again, and she lunged for the closest man to her. After the kiss she pulled away at once and apologized profusely, "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry I didn't mean to!"  
  
Then a deep throated voice said, "Actually... I kind of enjoyed it."  
  
Auntie Mae's eyes widened once she got a look at the man she had kissed. A graying distinguished man that looked every part a rich college professor.  
  
At once they joined hands and left the café to walk off into the sunset together.  
  
****  
  
A few hours later...  
  
Vegeta's heavy eyes opened to stare at a creamy white ceiling. He felt that his body was... covered with some sheets? And he had his pajamas on? He was in bed?  
  
Well that makes sense. That whole Auntie Mae thing had to be one horrific nightmare! He sighed a breath of relief and sat up, trying to shake off his blurry sleep derived vision.  
  
Then he noticed in his blurry sight that a long haired someone was sitting by his bed, watching over him.  
  
Kakarotto... He smiled, his hand going to stroke her face. Then something occurred to him.  
  
Kakarotto didn't have purple hair...  
  
With a shriek he drew his hand back, and smacked himself in the face to fully wake himself up. Mirai watched him with a slightly amused look. "Good morning, Dad."  
  
Vegeta turned furious, glaring at his son accusingly. He demanded, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!"  
  
It was then that his son held up a creamy envelope with green lettering in HIS handwriting. The ouji's face flushed as he stared at it. "W-what do you have there?" he asked, even though he knew very well what it was.  
  
Mirai flicked it over to him, all the amusement on his face gone instantly, "Why don't you read it?"  
  
Catching the letter, Vegeta opened it up to look at its contents. He mentally turned green with disgust. {Holy- What ever possessed my father to think I would ever write something this mushy?!}  
  
Then he saw Mirai's eye on him again, and he gently set the letter aside on his bed-stand. "So..." he started, "it finally comes to this."  
  
He threw his blanket off of himself and onto Mirai. Then he took an offensive fighting position, glaring at his won through hateful eyes. "I like you boy, but I'm going to have to take you down."  
  
Mirai quickly threw the blanket off only to be given a hard punch right to the jaw. He cried out as he was thrown to the wall and pinned there with a hand to his throat. His father was looking at him like he was the vilest scum on Earth.  
  
"Father..." he managed to choke out.  
  
"Don't give me that!" the ouji snarled ferociously. "What makes you think that you have more right to Kayka than I do?! What makes you think you can take her away from me?!"  
  
Then Vegeta's voice started to crack to his own dismay. "You have no idea... You have no idea how badly I want her! How I need her!" He sucked it in and growled, "I love her... It's to a point where I would do anything for her. So like hell I'm just going to let you waltz in on all the work I had to go through AND LET YOU TAKE HER AWAY!!"  
  
The teenager gave his father wide frightened eyes, as those fingers tightened around his throat. He whispered out harshly, "F-Father, I..."  
  
Vegeta's eyes narrowed and he sneered, "Go on, boy. Say it."  
  
"I-I just wanted to say...Congratulations..."  
  
Instantly he was dropped onto the ground. His father stood over him in a gloating manner. "I knew that you'd give up in the end!" Suddenly Mirai kicked him in the shin. Vegeta gave a harsh cry and hopped onto his bed, holding his leg and glaring at his future teenager.  
  
"You are such an idiot!!" Mirai cried out. "I never loved Kayka like that in the first place!"  
  
An awkward silence ensued.  
  
Vegeta blinked several times, still holding onto his leg. Then he said quietly, "E-excuse me?"  
  
Mirai muttered, "Dammit. I thought you'd be mad because I read a private letter. But I NEVER expected anything like THAT!" He kept rubbing his throat were his father's hands had left red skin.  
  
"So...you never liked Kayka..."  
  
"Never the way that you do!"  
  
The ouji frowned in confusion as he looked over all the past events that made him think such a thing. "Are you sure?"  
  
Mirai stared at him and then cried in exasperation, "YES! I'M SURE!!"  
  
Vegeta scratched the back of his head and muttered, "Well I'll be damned." He suddenly grinned so unnaturally that Mirai got creeped out looking at him. "Then I suppose I owe you an apology!"  
  
"You're really going to give me one?" Mirai asked in excitement.  
  
"Heck no! But it's the thought that counts!"  
  
His son sweatdropped, "Yeah...sure..."  
  
Feeling more cheerful than ever before, Vegeta asked, "So you really wanted to congratulate me?"  
  
"Actually I just wanted to figure out if you really did like her the way you said in that letter. I guess I found out the hard way!" Mirai chuckled, then patted his father on the back, "So I reiterate! Congratulations! 'Bout time I figured."  
  
The ouji frowned, "How do you figure that?"  
  
"Haven't smelled sex on you for months. And I don't think it's because you're incompetent."  
  
Vegeta visibly drooped and he cried, "That's exactly what Kakarot's eldest said!" He shook his head and stood up. "Something is really up with you demi-saiyajins. But at least I can get on with my courting in peace at last!!" he declared loudly.  
  
He was about to leave his room to do just that when Mirai said quietly, "Uh... you might not be able to quite yet."  
  
Turning to look at his son suspiciously, the ouji asked, "And why not?"  
  
"Kayka's mad at you."  
  
"She's been mad at me before," Vegeta said offhandedly.  
  
Mirai shook his head slowly. "Nuh uh. I don't think so. I mean she is really, REALLY mad."  
  
"Well whatever for?!"  
  
Shrugging his son answered, "I dunno. Ever since you got back from that café, she's been randomly breaking things in sight."  
  
Instantly, the ouji turned as white as a ghost and he said weakly, "C-café? We came b-back from a café?!"  
  
When his son nodded, Vegeta felt himself suddenly going lightheaded. Then he fell on the floor in a dead faint.  
  
Mirai just sweatdropped.  
  
****  
  
END PART TWENTY  
  
Miyanon: Whew, that took MUCH longer than I thought that it would.  
  
Bejita: *flatly* Congratulations. You have made me completely insane.  
  
Bardock: *snickers* It's very entertaining though.  
  
Bejita: Oh sure! I bet you would LOVE to have it happen to you!  
  
Bardock: *rubs in chin in thought* I might actually get promoted in Heaven if that happens. *makes a face* Ick.  
  
Miyanon: ANYWAY, onto the few questions that we have!  
  
To Moonraker One-  
  
Miyanon: Why is what's going is going on? Well what can I say? It all started with Bejita wanting full saiyajin grandkids and Bardock wanting to get kicked out of Heaven. And basically Vegeta falls for the female Kakarot and eventually finds out that he and Goku are soulmates. Or at least he thinks that they are.  
  
Bejita: *grins* I'd like to call it fate!  
  
Bardock: *huffs* In your dreams.  
  
To mkh2-  
  
Miyanon: The binding thing that Ruby was talking about was that red vial that she gave Vegeta in chapter 17, but Veggie decided not to use it. And the letter is currently in Veggie's room! Now as to Goku being offended by the kiss thing? I dunno, that's always a touchy issue with her.  
  
Bejita: Well personally I think that it's because she thinks love is sacred and shouldn't be joked about.  
  
Bardock: *frowns* Why do you always gravitate towards that area? I think that it's because she's so grossed out by it.  
  
Bejita: *stares* You are in complete denial you know that? How can you say that after this chapter?!  
  
Bardock: *indignantly* I am not in denial!  
  
Bejita: Are too!  
  
Bardock: Are not!  
  
Miyanon: *quickly* To the next question!  
  
To CherryShadowZ-  
  
Miyanon: Yes, there actually is some kind ritual involved with soulmates. It's the Shisok'ten.  
  
B&B: *shiver*  
  
Miyanon: Now soulmates are really sacred in saiyajin culture, so it's sacrilegious to even joke about it.  
  
Bejita: *nods* *starts a long spiel about saiyajin culture* Usually if someone says that they're soulmates, the two become mated without any hesitation.  
  
Bardock: Problem was certain saiyajin took advantage of the system to get any mate that they wanted. Saiyajin don't really know what having a soulmate is like until they actually do have one so they usually mate them without question.  
  
Bejita: Therefore, 2000 years ago, Bejita CCLXII decided that he would set up a punishment for anyone who decided to declare that he was a soulmate with someone and really wasn't.  
  
Bardock: Women were killed instantly. Men... uh... lost their manhood... As in... uh...Well...  
  
Miyanon: I think we get the idea, Bardock. Don't strain yourself.  
  
Bardock: *sighs a breath of relief* Oh whew, good. It's too painful to even think about.  
  
Bejita: Yeah...  
  
To Chuquita-  
  
Bardock: *grins* Well my favorite food happens to be Bouillabaisse. It's a nice, very light, fish soup from France. Really good.  
  
Bejita: *raises eyebrow* Okay, Mr. Gourmet. I like sushi, sashimi, pepper steak, and an occasional Philadelphia Steak and Cheese Sandwich. *drools* Philly steak and cheese...  
  
Bardock: ...Rrright... Anyway, Bejita usually wins the poker games. But that's because he cheats! *points at the ou accusingly*  
  
Bejita: *shocked* I do not!  
  
Bardock: You do too! You admitted to it in the last chapter!  
  
Bejita: *looks up in thought* Oh yeah...  
  
Bardock: *shakes head* *mutters* Idiot.  
  
Bejita: *promptly whacks him over the head* Don't disrespect your king!  
  
Bardock: *pouts* I thought we were equals now.  
  
Bejita: NEVER!! At least not until Vegeta and Kakarot mate and you officially become part of the royal family!  
  
Bardock: ...I'm not sure I want to be part of such a nutty family...  
  
Miyanon: Ookay, well enough of that! There has been one question that has been asked since almost the very start of this story! What in the world does Kayka mean?! And the answer is-!  
  
Bardock: *slaps his hand over Miya's mouth* They'll find out eventually won't they?  
  
Miyanon: Well, I guess...  
  
Bejita: *snickers* You're such a chicken, Dockers.  
  
Bardock: *gasp* How dare you!!  
  
Bejita: *grins* Actually, very easily.  
  
Bardock: *balls his hands into fists* You're asking for a fight, aren't you?!  
  
Bejita: Maybe.  
  
Bardock: *crosses arms* Well you're not going to get one! I refuse to sink to your level!  
  
Bejita: *pouts* Awww...  
  
Miyanon: ...You two are so weird... *waves* Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed this latest installment of Onnafied! Check out my website for the latest updates in Split Ends the Manga too! And have a Happy Thanksgiving!  
  
Bejita: Happy Thanks-what?  
  
Bardock: *takes him aside* I'll explain to you later, Beets.  
  
****  
  
P.S. To gunlord. *grins* I feel exactly the same way about soulmates. 


	21. The Contest of the Dots

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
****  
  
Miyanon: YES! IT IS DONE! I FINALLY HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER UP!  
  
B&B: *flatly* Whoo-hoo.  
  
Miyanon: *pouts* You guys are mean.  
  
Bardock: Well to be perfectly frank I don't like the way you left us off in the last chapter.  
  
Bejita: Especially me!  
  
Miyanon: Aw come on! It wasn't THAT bad!  
  
Bejita: *sighs* True, true. You could've shown Dockers and me kissing.  
  
Miyanon: *eyes widen as a revelation comes on*  
  
Bardock: *looks on in fear and panic* I know that look. EVIL COMES FROM THAT LOOK!  
  
Miyanon: *gives Bejita a hug* Oh thank you Bee-chan! You're such a genius! Well, I have a chapter to write! *runs off*  
  
Bejita: *looks back to see Dockers giving him the evil eye* Eh-hehehe. Oh boy.  
  
Bardock: That's it! Out of principle I refuse to introduce this story!  
  
Bejita: .......  
  
Bardock: .........  
  
Bejita: Really?  
  
Bardock: Really.  
  
Bejita: Well...then what? You want to entertain these people the whole time? I don't think you'd be much of a show since it's been...wait how long has it been since an update?  
  
Bardock: *scratches head* It's been so long I can't remember.  
  
Miyanon: *yells from offscreen* YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUB IT IN!  
  
Bardock: *determined* Well it doesn't matter! I still refuse to start this story!  
  
Bejita: Well I can't! My evilness doesn't really allow it.  
  
Bardock: .................  
  
Bejita: ..................................  
  
Bardock: ...................................................  
  
Eddy: *comes out of nowhere* And welcome to the next chapter of Onnafied! *goes back to nowhere*  
  
Bardock: *sputters* What in the- Who the heck was that?!  
  
Bejita: *thinks* I think it was the demon child from Split Ends.  
  
Bardock: Oh.  
  
****  
  
Vegeta stormed out of the living room, looking absolutely livid. His anger was so great, plants wilted from the aura he projected as he passed by them. Mirai, who was passing by, wisely decided to make himself part of the wall until his father had gone by.  
  
The teenager gave a sigh of relief that his father hadn't paid any attention to him. Even after he declared the day before that he didn't love Kayka the way his father did, Vegeta was still giving him some very suspicious glances. {It's completely unjustified!} he thought indignantly. {...Well, okay. Maybe some of my actions were questionable... And maybe even a little flirtatious... But damn! I've never seen him so passionate about anything besides fighting! Besides, I really don't want to get on his bad side today.}  
  
Apparently Vegeta and Kayka were having a lover's tiff. Well, it wasn't really his business... But he desperately wanted to know what the heck was going on between the two.  
  
Suddenly, Bulma turned the corner, happily humming to herself as she jotted down ideas on a small notepad. When she passed by Mirai she gave a cheerful, "Morning Trunks! Nice day, isn't it?"  
  
Mirai blinked, "Err...yeah..." ...Bulma never hums. And she sure as hell wasn't a morning person either. "Weird," he muttered when she went on her way.  
  
Then he turned his attention to the angry woman in the living room.  
  
Oh hell, he knew this wasn't right. It seemed right that they be together. He took a deep breath and stepped in through the open archway.  
  
****  
  
In the shadow of Enma's palace, Bejita sat by his trusty crystal ball, stroking his goatee while watching the events on Chikyuu-sei carefully. "How ironic," he mumbled to himself, "that the very person who threatened to tear them apart was trying to get them back together. Don't you think so, Dockers?" He looked back to see that the angel wasn't there, "Dockers?"  
  
Then he spotted the dark angel sitting on the huge cloud's edge, shivering as he held his legs up against his chest in a defensive position. Bejita's eyes slightly widened, "Uh...Bardock? Are you alright?"  
  
The angel twitched, and turned his head to glare at the ou with glowing red eyes. Bejita sweatdropped, "Those are the most evil eyes I have ever seen in my life...'sides my own. Now what did I do to deserve them?"  
  
"What do you THINK Bejita-Ou-sama?" Bardock sneered, though the glowing crimson faded. Yet Bejita winced at the extremely formal title, which was used only when his friend was extremely pissed off.  
  
"...You're not still mad about the-"  
  
"The kiss? Yes." Another evil eye. "Yes, I'm still mad about it. But that's not what I'm really upset about."  
  
Bejita frowned in confusion, "What then?"  
  
"YOU MADE ME DO IT!!!" he suddenly screamed; loud enough that it made heads turn over in the deep interior of the palace.  
  
"Oh come on!" Bejita protested with a hint whining. "We were both out of our tiny little minds! Me from the holy water and you from the Ran-" A rough hand suddenly slapped against his mouth before he could say it. Bardock's eyes were also starting to look dangerously red again.  
  
"Don't say it. Don't you dare say it." His voice hissed in clear anger, but the desperate tone in it freaked the ou out to no end.  
  
"Okay! Calm down!" The ou said a bit too quickly. When the angel didn't move, Bejita yelled out, "PLEASE!" Bardock took a shuddering breath and stepped back. Bejita shook his head as he felt the tension move away. "Damn, Dockers. You need some serious therapy."  
  
A glare was his only reply. Bejita sighed and decided to switch the view of the crystal ball to his son. He gave a derisive snort when he realized what his son was doing. "Oh that little- He doesn't have a clue how to treat a soulmate!"  
  
Slowly he could feel a sinister aura coming from the angel behind him. He was almost afraid to turn around and see the wicked smile on Bardock's face. "You know, I could teach him a lesson for ya."  
  
But before Bejita could say 'Hell no!' the angel was already gone.  
  
****  
  
"There's a fine line between determination and stubbornness you know." Mirai sighed. He'd been trying absolutely everything to at least get her to TALK! She barely even acknowledged him.  
  
Goku still stayed silent, arms folded over her chest.  
  
The teenager felt like banging his head against the table several times. His hands twitched, but he took a calming breath and asked, "Are you always this cold?"  
  
The girl merely twitched.  
  
Mirai frowned, {Geez, she's just like Dad like this.} Finally getting really serious, he scooted over next to her and said in a quiet tone, "He cares a lot about you, you know..."  
  
At that, Goku's eyes couldn't help but soften just slightly. Mirai mentally cheered. While it wasn't much it was better than he did for the past hour. He decided to push a bit more, "And...and I'm sure... he would never mean to hurt you." At last, the scowl left Goku's face and her body became less uptight. "You know what I mean right?" the teenager ventured.  
  
"Yeah," she said softly, "he's the best friend anyone could ask for."  
  
Mirai sweatdropped, {Friend? Only? Man, I feel sorry for Dad.}  
  
"But things are just very complicated right now, y'know. I'm angry at a lot of things. I guess maybe, I might have been using Geta as a scapegoat."  
  
"Well it helps to talk about it," Mirai said supportively, giving her a friendly smile.  
  
However, Goku flushed considerably, "Er...I don't think you'd understand."  
  
The teenager gave a small chuckle, "Oh PLEASE. After my timeline there's nothing I can't handle."  
  
Goku's fingers fumbled together at her uneasiness and she said, "Well alright. But you asked for it."  
  
A couple minutes later...  
  
"YOU'RE WHAT?!!!"  
  
Goku tried in vain to quiet down the hysterical teenager. "Come on, Mirai! It's not that big a deal!"  
  
"Not big a deal?! NOT BIG A DEAL?!" Mirai looked like he was about to have a panic attack. "YOU'RE GOKU! YOU'RE A GIRL! IT MAKES NO SENSE!" Then he said, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS ATTRACTED TO YOU!!"  
  
Goku's eyes widened and her face went beet red. "Err..."  
  
Mirai also blushed. "...I didn't say that out loud did I?"  
  
"Yes, you did."  
  
"Oh. Sorry."  
  
Goku sighed, "Just please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want them to start hyperventilating and faint like you did."  
  
Mirai frowned in confusion, "I fainted? When?"  
  
"Right before you became conscious and started having another panic attack."  
  
Again. "Oh." But then the teenager shook his head clear from the shock, only to nod it vigorously in assent. "Don't worry, Goku! Believe me, I won't tell anyone! I swe-" Suddenly he stopped and thought back to his father. {Wait a sec! What about Dad?! What would he do if he found out he's fallen in love with his worst enemy?!}  
  
The saiyajin girl frowned with concern when Mirai just froze in place. "Uh...Mirai? You okay?"  
  
Mirai came out of it with a start and said, "Huh? What? I'm perfectly fine!"  
  
"...You're still not going to tell anyone right?" The teenager stiffened and hesitated to say anything. "Mirai?" Goku said again, this time bringing out her Puppy Pout of Doom. Mirai immediately wavered under the look of it. He had no other choice.  
  
The Puppy Pout of Doom was unknowingly to her, Goku's ultimate secret weapon. If Goku had used it against their old enemies, Frieza and Cell would have both just caved in just so Goku would 'just stop looking at them like that.' It didn't help Mirai much that Goku was a girl now.  
  
"Alright! Alright!" Mirai said a bit too quickly for his own liking. "I swear I won't tell anyone! Just don't look at me like that! And it doesn't mean I'm happy about it either."  
  
Goku took away the pout and broke into all smiles, "Thanks Mirai."  
  
Sighing, the teenager said, "Well, at least I know why you act so strange." After a glare, Mirai amended quickly, "For a girl! I mean for a girl!" He laughed nervously, until the two of them slipped into an awkward silence.  
  
"So..." Mirai began, "are those breasts actually real?" He instantly got a punch to the eye. He winced as he sat up and rubbed his already swelling eye. "Jeez! You're really touchy in this body aren't you?!"  
  
A small snicker came from behind the ajar kitchen door, as Trunks watched and heard the goings-on. When he saw his future counterpart in a faint on the floor in the living room, he decided to stick around and hide until he found out what was so shocking. Turns out it was a pretty good idea. "I gotta tell everybody!" he whispered to himself before whisking himself away to find his mother and tell her he's going over to Goten's house.  
  
****  
  
Meanwhile, in the GR...  
  
The walls of the steel chamber were tinted crimson as the gravity began to exceed the room's safe capacity. Its sole occupant didn't really give a damn though, as his fists tore through the heated tension in the air.  
  
Vegeta burned as he thought of the utterly stupid situation he was put in and yet for the life of him he didn't know what to do about it. It only fueled his anger more and made him push himself to the extreme.  
  
{BAKAYARO!!} he screamed out mentally following through with an uppercut and a low kick. {I didn't do a THING to her and she expects me to go down on my knees and beg her forgiveness?! How- how self-centered can a person get?!}  
  
These were strange thoughts coming from him, but his frustration and the ever-increasing gravity was distorting his sense. It hurt to think that all his efforts and...love were wasted over what had to be such a trivial matter. It was ridiculous! Immature! He should have expected this from such a childish saiyajin!  
  
It was too late when that he realized that the gravity was getting to be much higher than he'd ever felt before. He glanced back at the control panel and it was starting to go up to the 900s. He nearly choked when he saw it. But the- the maximum on this thing was 600 tops before it would blow itself up!  
  
Curses! The gravity was getting to be so that it felt like his skin and flesh was being pulled off of his very bones. His body wasn't ever used to gravity this high before. His heart was throbbing in his chest as it worked double-time to pump blood throughout his body and to his brain.  
  
It hurt like hell, no worse than hell. But at the same time his mind was going completely screwy from the lack of blood. This was what he needed, he thought as the only thing that was keeping him going was the venom in his veins. He needed this void, this inability to think, to forget this pointless stubbornness and this ever-present ache.  
  
Even as he was thinking that, his thoughts bled from his mind before he could get a full grasp on them. He was feeling...lightheaded and this pull... He was already on his knees, fists curled on the red floor. It was- too much- He was down on his side, the force threatening to turn him into a messy smear on the steel floor.  
  
Oh beautiful. What a way to end, went the unacknowledged thought. Though the pain was intense, like fire ants crawling just under his skin and biting him all over his body, this sweet oblivion he was in... It was just enough to...  
  
Suddenly, the gravity returned back to normal, the shock terrible as his guts, flesh and blood literally threw themselves upwards in reaction. It was instantaneous, it hurt almost as bad as being crushed on the ground. He was extremely dizzy and disoriented, stars spinning around his head. The relief on his body was agonizing.  
  
"SHIT!" he screamed aloud, balling his hands into fists though he didn't- couldn't move from the floor. "If you were going to rescue me, you could have done it gradually!"  
  
He attempted to sit up and look at who opened the door behind him, but straining his muscles at all made something like liquid fire course through him and he fell back with a pained yowl.  
  
It was then that he heard that low, familiar, terrifying chuckle. "Oh no..." he whispered as someone of a holy glow came nearer, the heavenly heat healing and freezing him simultaneously. By the time the avenging angel strode over to his prey, Vegeta was feeling perfectly fine; except for the pit of terror in his stomach that was keeping him completely immobilized.  
  
Bardock leaned over his face, and a sadistic smirk came to his face. "Hello ouji."  
  
"I didn't do anything this time," Vegeta choked out, "why are you here?"  
  
"Exactly. It's something you didn't do," the dark angel said enigmatically. The smirk on his face grew. "Now," he ordered, "imagine kissing me."  
  
The ouji's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "WHAT?!"  
  
"Shut up and imagine it, ouji," Bardock growled threateningly. "Because if you DON'T make up with my daughter, then she WILL go back to being a man. And since you're both soulmates you'll be stuck with my clone instead of that heaven-blessed girl." This time Vegeta really did think about it. It terrified him.  
  
The angel continued, "Believe me, I don't want you to 'hook up' with my daughter, but I'd much less have you with my son, who looks exactly like me. Not to mention your father who would be...severely disappointed if you don't get him those full-blooded grandkids."  
  
Bardock's gaze grew more menacing by each word. "So unless you want two very ticked off Otherworldly beings after you for the rest of eternity; do what you should have done in the first place... Chuck that stupid pride aside and go apologize!!!"  
  
Vegeta made a small, "But-"  
  
As if on cue, the angel got really irritated. Demonic, yet heavenly powers went to work as his feathers puffed out as well as his tail and he was getting far, far taller than the ouji was. Not to mention his eyes were starting to go red. "BUT NOTHING!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ACTUALLY DID ANYTHING OR NOT!! DO YOU THINK I GIVE A DAMN?! DO YOU?! LIKE I CARE ABOUT YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE PRIDE!! JUST GO DO IT!!"  
  
The sudden mood swing after was almost as freaky as the Jekyll-Hyde change. Bardock just smiled cheerfully, back to his old self, "Have a nice day, oujisama." He disappeared right after with a hissing crack.  
  
Vegeta was busy staring at the empty space, trembling like a leaf, when the angel popped back and planted a big wet one on the ouji's forehead before disappearing again.  
  
A second later... "UAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
****  
  
When Bardock came back to Otherworld a second time, the demon ou gave him a disapproving glare. "You didn't have to traumatize him you know."  
  
The avenging angel just smirked, "It was fun though."  
  
Bejita just rolled his eyes, "I think you're still bitter about the Ran-"  
  
Bardock slapped his hand over the ou's mouth again and twitched a little eccentrically. "I TOLD not to say it."  
  
Bejita stayed silent for a while, watching his apparently very scarred friend. After an awkward ten minutes of silence, the ou put a stiff smile on his face and just as rigidly turned his attention back to the crystal, "How about we see how our kids are doing, huh?"  
  
The angel continued to glare at him. Bejita just tried to ignore it.  
  
****  
  
Walking back into Capsule Corps, Vegeta tried in vain to stop following the angel's instruction: imagine kissing him. But he just couldn't get the image of kissing the male Goku out of his head! And it always ended in a horrific explosion of wings, halos, and massive amounts of pure electricity. The ouji shuddered involuntarily as the vision passed through his mind again. Gods, how he HATED that angel.  
  
He made his way to the living room to see Mirai and Kakarot arguing over something or other. This didn't seem like a good ti- NO! He couldn't postpone this! Taking a deep breath, Vegeta ruthlessly shoved his pride away. When he came into the room, he made his presence clear with a loud cough. The two of them stopped their squabble instantly and watched in a stony silence as Vegeta sat down in the chair opposite the one they were in.  
  
Strange, Mirai was looking very stressed for some reason. "Boy, I want to talk to Kayka," the ouji declared, expecting the teenager's immediate departure. But he didn't move. Mirai instead fidgeted a little, looking like he wanted to say something. But after a quick glance at Kakarot he merely excused himself and left. Very suspicious...  
  
However, now wasn't the time to ask about it. "Kakarot," the ouji started, his face and expression solemn, almost grim. "I need to say something to you."  
  
Kakarot, his rival, his love, looked over to him, giving him a small knowing smile.  
  
And he choked.  
  
{Oh damn!} Vegeta thought to himself. {This is going to be more difficult than I thought!} He gulped and stuttered nervously, "Kakarot, I-I..."  
  
{YOU FOOL! THIS ISN'T SOME HORRIBLE CONFESSION! JUST AN APOLOGY!}  
  
{It is too a confession! A confession of weakness! The ONLY reason why you're apologizing in the first place is because Bardock has you whipped!}  
  
Goku frowned with concern, "Uh...Vegeta? Are you alright?"  
  
The ouji snapped, "I'm fine! Perfectly fine." His nerves were wearing thin with frustration. The Gods knew they were in bad shape already from the heavenly visit earlier.  
  
"Are you sure? You look constipated," the younger saiyajin pressed.  
  
"I AM NOT CONSTIPATED!!"  
  
Goku's eyes just widened slightly, "You don't get this agitated often."  
  
"Just let me speak, Kakarot!" The ouji felt ready to pull his hair out or restart the habit of banging his head against the wall. Hell yeah, a good ol' head banging sounded pretty good right now.  
  
Then he realized that Goku had spoken. "You don't have to do it if you don't want to." She was quiet, almost...sad...  
  
"No," Vegeta sighed in response, though he didn't specify if he agreed or if he didn't agree, which just made Goku a tad confused.  
  
"I want to!" he said suddenly. Goku nearly jumped back in surprise at the forcefulness that just came out of the blue. "Not because of fear or stormclouds or lightning or any stupid angels!"  
  
The younger saiyajin gave him a look of pure confusion. "Wha..."  
  
"I want to do this!" Vegeta went down on one knee, right in front of Goku, who went crimson to the face.  
  
"Vegeta! What are you-"  
  
"Kayka..." he said quietly, taking a hold of her hands. "Kayka, I..." The ouji stopped again, as if he was choosing his wording to extreme perfection. Goku couldn't help but stare in wonder at the uncertainty in his eyes, the doubt, the love... Love?! Wait, no! It can't be! She's just imagining it! Yet she absently held her breath as she awaited his next word.  
  
"Kayka, I..." he repeated, then stopped again, looking away as a blush came to his cheeks.  
  
Goku mentally screamed at him to say the next word. {Just say it already! Are you TRYING to torture me?!} She instantly recoiled from the thought. {Torture? How can he? I'm not expecting anything. I'm just being stupid...again.}  
  
She came out of her thoughts when she realized that Vegeta was speaking again. "I..." He was looking very vexed at that point, cold sweat pouring down his brow and he was starting to hyperventilate. Goku began to worry that he was going to have a heart attack. "Calm down," the ouji muttered to himself. "Calm DOWN."  
  
Vegeta let out a quick breath and looked up at Goku with a final conviction in his eyes. "Kayka," he said firmly, expecting a reply.  
  
"Yes?" was whispered as Goku tried to get a hold of herself and keep from thinking about what the ouji was going to do.  
  
"I..." Goku leaned in, waiting... "I..." Then she felt that strange mixed feeling of strangling him and hugging him again. "I'm SORRY!" Good God what was she going to say when he did talk? Hey wait a minute! Goku stared at the anxious ouji, wondering if that really was all that he was going to say. Well, after a silent minute it seemed like it.  
  
The only logical thing to do at the time seemed to be punching Vegeta in the face.  
  
Which she did.  
  
HOW COULD HE?! Why did he have to get her so worked up over such a stupid little thing?! Vegeta recovered quickly as if he was expecting the blow...which he probably was...  
  
"Please calm down!" he said in something of a panic. "I don't know what the hell I did but I apologize for it anyway! I really don't want you to be mad at me, because I like you too much. And please, please, please don't turn back into a guy!" Vegeta said that last part a bit too quickly to be coherent.  
  
It was then that Goku realized what she did. She cried out in horror and helped the ouji up to his feet. "Oh my God! Vegeta! I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me!"  
  
Vegeta stared at her incredulously. "I'm very confused."  
  
"So am I," Goku nodded in agreement.  
  
"......"  
  
"......"  
  
"Why are YOU confused?" the ouji asked in annoyance.  
  
Goku just shrugged, "This body's wonky. It has different hormones and stuff like that. In fact..." She stopped to look up in reflection, "I thought I heard you say you wanted me to stay a woman."  
  
{I said that out loud?!} the ouji said in slight panic. "W-well what's wrong with that?" he ventured cautiously.  
  
The younger saiyajin broke in delighted little peals. "Oh Geta! Don't be silly! Goten would be so confused if his daddy's a woman!"  
  
Vegeta visibly slumped. "But- but what about the-" he started, but gave up after a look at Goku's clueless expression. "You know what? Just...just nevermind."  
  
He paused his sulking when he saw a delicate hand extended in front of his face. He looked up to see his rival's sweet smiling face. "Friends again, Geta?"  
  
Slowly, a smile came to the ouji's face as well, and he grasped the hand firmly. "Friends again, Kakarot."  
  
{And soon to be mated...Kayka...}  
  
****  
  
Miyanon: And what's done is done! Man, lovers' tiffs are always difficult. Especially to resolve them. Even if you have complete and total control over your characters! Well it should be easier now since I have the next few bits planned!  
  
Bardock: *silent*  
  
Miyanon: You're not mad about the kiss thing are you?  
  
Bardock: *silent*  
  
Miyanon: ...I guess you are...  
  
Bardock: ..................................  
  
Bejita: ..................................  
  
Miyanon: ..................................  
  
Bardock: *cheers* Ha! I win!  
  
Miyanon: No! I did! My dots were longer than yours!  
  
Bejita: .................  
  
Miyanon: Oh stop that! The contest's over!  
  
Bejita: I didn't even know there was a contest.  
  
Bardock: ...................................................  
  
Miyanon: ..................................  
  
Bardock: *cheers* I win again!  
  
Miyanon: Dang it! 


	22. Why is everything getting worse?

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
****  
  
Miyanon: Heylo! I'm back again! Did'ja miss me?  
  
Bardock: You know I think it was the story they missed more than you.  
  
Miyanon: Auww...  
  
Bejita: And B&B! Of course you can't forget us!  
  
Miyanon: You two do wonders for the self-esteem.  
  
Bardock: *smiles* Why thank you! It's an angel's job to put down anyone who isn't as holy as we are!  
  
Bejita: ...You're joking, right?  
  
Bardock: Not according to Willith.  
  
Miyanon: Well, anyway! I'm back again! Even if only for a little while, cuz I'm having my mock exams this week! Yay! Hopefully I can get this done before I have my first one.  
  
Bejita: Well good luck with that. Dockers! Let's play poker!  
  
Bardock: Okay.  
  
Miyanon: Hey! What have I said about that?  
  
B&B: To not do it EXCESSIVELY.  
  
Miyanon: And how long have you been doing it?  
  
B&B: Five hours.  
  
Miyanon: Well...okay. *goes back to typing*  
  
Bejita: *whispers to Dockers* Five hours a day. *they both snicker*  
  
Miyanon: *gives them a suspicious look* .......*decides to ignore it* And by the way, this fic IS PG-13, so don't complain about the mentioning of female reproduction organs.  
  
Bardock: *eyes widen* Female- WHAT?! What are you typing up?!  
  
Miyanon: And now, on with Onnafied!  
  
Bardock: *getting hysterical* Hey! HEY! Don't cut-  
  
****  
  
Vegeta waited until dusk to start the ceremony.  
  
He was dressed in ritual saiyajin garb, a ceremonial blue-black robe, nearly covered in dark blue leather fastenings and gold buckles. Three fresh crimson markings of blood were painted on each cheek and his forehead. And it had taken nearly three whole bottles of hair-gel to actually keep his hair down!  
  
As the last royal purple stripe faded into midnight blue in the overhanging heavens, Vegeta sighed and turned to the small, pathetic makeshift alter he had made in a matter of hours. He took out a small instrument from his bed stand and looked through it to the west, determining the exact position of the sun before he could start the ritual.  
  
Now why was he going through the painstaking process of going through the ancient, highly unadvised ceremony in the first place? Simple.  
  
Sex-ed.  
  
Recently he had become painfully aware of the fact that he knew absolutely nothing about saiyajin female bodies. In fact it was only about half an hour after he and Kakarotto had resolved their little "lover's tiff."  
  
He never had the chance to learn about a saiyajin female's physiology, mainly because he was so young when his planet blew up and Raditsu and Nappa never bothered because all the last remaining saiyajin were men.  
  
When the time came for Kakarot and he to...er...procreate...Vegeta did not want to be caught clueless.  
  
The ouji went completely red to the face at the thought of not knowing where the vagina was... If there was a vagina... His eyes widened. Oh dear Gods, he hoped that humans and saiyajin weren't THAT different! Of course, how could they be?! If they weren't nearly the same there'd be no such thing as a saiyajin hybrid! Right?  
  
Well, that was what he was going to find out!  
  
But how to do it? Well, he couldn't strip Kakarotto, that was for sure. And there was NO WAY he was going to go to that blasted angel for help OR his mother! That left only one possible option.  
  
Vegeta mentally groaned as he thought of what his father's reaction will be to his inquiry. Gods, this was going to suck.  
  
He held out his hands, making slow deliberate motions with them. All right. Slow and easy. Don't rush it. There was a sudden knock at the door and the ouji called out, "Enter!" before he could stop himself.  
  
The door opened with an excited snap, Goku bounding into the room, "Hey Geta, do-" She stopped mid-sentence when she saw her 'Geta' standing in the middle of the room in the strangest outfit that she had ever seen, keeping his arms outstretched to a small wooden...thingy at his feet, as if he was directing an orchestra. Plus his hair was...DOWN, which was completely beyond freaky.  
  
The two saiyajin stared at each other in absolute silence, until Goku gingerly stepped back outside and hurried to close the door, almost slamming it.  
  
Vegeta blinked and realized he was still in the middle of his ceremony. Damn! He just couldn't help saying 'enter'! After all he felt it was Kakarot's ki by the door. He made a small 'ugh' of annoyance and considered what to do about the ceremony. Should he discontinue it and wait for the next night or should he just go with it?  
  
Well, his arms didn't move so it seemed alright to go on. After all a little pause wouldn't make that big a difference.  
  
****  
  
The leaves should be green.  
  
The blossoms should be pink.  
  
The tree bark should be brown.  
  
They were none of these. Instead they were a stark glaring white, mocking the dark eyes that gazed upon them with their insubstantial nothingness. Bardock shivered at the wrongness of the heavenly garden, quickly rushing through them for the sake of getting away from there.  
  
Most of the vegetation in Heaven was normal colored, but that patch of garden was so heavily infested with holiness and angelic magic, that it had affected the entire area, making everything the pristine color that Bardock had come to hate so much. And he knew who's fault it was, too.  
  
Willith was probably to blame for everything white in Heaven. He was just so...obsessed with the damn color! Which just made Bardock even more obsessed with hating it. With a relieved sigh, Bardock got out of the blank area and back onto green grass.  
  
Well, now what to do? He was bored out of his mind. Bejita, using his direct tyrannical, royal authority, had ordered that he take a break from the Kayka scheme as it was clear the angel was going to go insane if he didn't take at least one day off from it.  
  
So...Here he was...in Heaven...bored out of his tiny little mind. When Bardock realized he couldn't remember what he did before this whole incident started, he was grateful that Bejita made him take a break. Didn't he use to be in a band? Whatever happened to that?  
  
The angel sighed and found his favorite cherry tree, still in blossom as it always was. Sitting down against the thin trunk, his senses were stunted slightly by the faint scent of the delicate flowers and warm shade of the thousands of petal wreaths overhanging him, just enough to take away the edge of the harsh glare that the perfectly white Angel HQ was giving off.  
  
But it was still so damn white! He had to squint through the glare of it. Why did the other angels never complain about the brightness?  
  
Hey, come to think of it...Where was everybody? Bardock stood up and touched his tree affectionately before going off to the most populated area of Heaven, the great marble steps of Angel HQ. As he passed them by, he looked around the lush gardens and ponds until he came to the steps of the beautiful centerpiece of Heaven. The entire area was as calm and as empty as a desert, as if the other angels had been whisked away by a mere gentle breeze.  
  
There was...no one else here...  
  
Bardock kept staring from Angel HQ to the empty gardens back to the glaringly empty white walls of the building once more.  
  
Slowly, but surely, an evil, wicked smile came to his lips, so wicked it bent the heavenly aura around him until the very air became demented and sick. He dug his hands into his pockets and began fishing around in them.  
  
"Now the responsible thing for me to do," he muttered to himself, "would be to figure out where everyone is and why."  
  
His face lit up when he took out several abnormally large canisters of spray paint from his pockets. Then he snickered in his own twisted fashion, "But I'm not very responsible, now am I?"  
  
About an hour later, he found himself in front of the Angel Council, standing up for trial...again... The plus side was that this time he had a certain companion with him to join him on the bench. AND Angel HQ had a wonderful new mural composed entirely of saiyajin graffiti spanning over all four walls of the formerly white building. Not like any of the angels could understand a lick of saiyago anyway.  
  
Bardock looked behind him, at the collection of grave and stony faces until he spotted a familiar fuzz ball in the group. The dark angel gave the anxious Qu'Pac a quick grin, relieving his friend's stress, before turning his attention back to the trial at hand.  
  
The head Councilwoman in the alliance was looking absolutely livid as she screeched at the Vice Councilman of Heaven until she was blue to the face. "Willith! You were supposed to keep a handle on him!! He was YOUR responsibility! How could you possibly let him get away to vandalize our entire headquarters?!"  
  
Willith, equally infuriated at the very injustice of it all, yelled back, "But it was MY award ceremony! Was I just supposed to skip it to go look for him?!"  
  
Bardock interrupted the verbal battle with a mild, "If I could-"  
  
"NO YOU CANNOT!" the angelic matron screeched even louder, nearly making Bardock cry at the intensity of it. "You're in enough trouble as it is, young man! So, shut it and let me talk to your guardian!"  
  
Most of the councilmen were stunned into a shocked silence, none of them daring to interrupt the Councilwoman's tirade, contenting themselves merely with watching the show in complacency. Bardock, however, frowned upon the Councilwoman's tone, {Why does she talk to me like I'm a teenager?}  
  
But the woman's attention was back to the flustered Vice Councilman. "Willith, you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself for not taking care of the suspect. As you are responsible for his actions, you are also going to be punished!"  
  
The shocked expression on Willith's face was almost too much to bear and Bardock had to fight hard not to break into laughter. "As for you, Barudokko," the Councilwoman said, putting an icy glare on the offending saiyajin, "YOU are going to have to be put into immediate suspension. Maybe some time in the "Special" Center will convert you to true angelhood."  
  
Suddenly, Bardock didn't find the trial so funny anymore.  
  
****  
  
The ceremony had taken a painful five hours to fulfill with many thousands of delicate procedures and agonizing little details. But FINALLY at the stroke of midnight, Vegeta could feel that his work paid off. He could literally feel it actually, as the divine forces he invoked during the ceremony focused into his small build.  
  
It wasn't at all like anything he felt before, fire and ice running through his veins while his felt his body's molecules deconstruct and reconstruct simultaneously. It felt as though his body had turned into a delicate beehive of energy and that the slightest exertion of force on it would wreak unspeakable havoc on his body.  
  
The thought completely unnerved him. Really, he had no idea what this was supposed to feel like. After all he only saw the ceremony performed twice in his childhood.  
  
With an anxious sigh, the ouji kneeled down in front of his self-made alter and went into a meditative stance, folding his legs into the classic lotus position. Well, he was already this far. Might as well take it all the way.  
  
His borrowed aura began to hum to life as unholy words slipped from his working lips.  
  
****  
  
Meanwhile, down in the depths of HFIL, in Queen Ruby's private quarters of the lofty Saiyajin Hall, Bejita was finally getting a chance at something that had not touched his mouth for nearly four months.  
  
The demon ou's eyes widened as they fell upon the lavish dish before him. He turned to his queen and choked out, "Ruby, I-I don't know what to say."  
  
His mate smiled knowingly, "Honey, just stop staring and eat it." Bejita gave a numb nod and looked back to the plate on the ebony table.  
  
It was nearly three feet long with four layers of warm beef, line in a neat ridge across the bread. Slightly melted Swiss cheese glistened between the meat as vapors of the aroma wafted from the dish, causing the ou's mouth to water. And the bread was country white rye with the bottom half soft and ready, the top only just toasted to perfection. Gods, he could even see grilled peppers peeking out from underneath the bread. Grilled peppers! It was almost a sin!  
  
Bejita literally drooled as he stared once again at the concoction in silent awe.  
  
It was the perfect Philadelphia Steak and Cheese Sandwich.  
  
Eventually Ruby had to smack him over the head again, "Bejita!"  
  
The demon came out of it with a start and quickly asked in urgency, "Where- How did you get it?!"  
  
Grinning proudly, the saiyajin queen responded, "I found an earthling who was being punished by eating only Philly steak and cheese sandwiches for the rest of eternity. He was glad to exchange one for some okonomiyaki and sake. Too bad for him it turned into Philly steak and cheese right when he put it in his mouth."  
  
The ou just stared at here incredulously, "What kind of sick minded person doesn't like Philly steak and cheese?! Especially such an exquisite one such as this?!" he demanded, his arm extending to the 'work of art' on the table.  
  
Ruby's eyebrows knit into a frown and she replied a little crossly, "We don't ALL like it, Bejita."  
  
The ou stared at her blankly.  
  
His mate sighed in exasperation, rolling her eyes. "Just eat it before Lucifer realizes that you're in the same room with it and makes it disappear."  
  
Bejita saluted her quickly, "Yes ma'am!" before grabbing the sandwich and sinking his teeth into the heavenly food. But then as he was just about to chomp down...He went 'poof'. Leaving the sandwich in ruins on the floor as well as his clothes and his demon accessories, the leather wings twitching as the last life flowed out of them without their master by Ruby's feet.  
  
Ruby stared at the disaster in absolute horror, "BEJITA!!" She stomped her foot in fury, her expression turning from terrified to lethal in the blink of an eye, "That is just TYPICAL! I give my mate a sandwich and Lucifer makes my mate disappear!" But why in the world didn't Bejita's demon wings go with him, wherever he was? The enigma befuddled her until she merely gave up and took her mate's things into her closet to keep, until Bejita showed up again.  
  
****  
  
The next morning...  
  
****  
  
Far, far away in a little pink house, on a little tiny island, in the middle of the ocean, momentous events were taking place.  
  
Krillen, Juuhachi, and Master Roshi stared at Trunks with the highest incredulity possible, as he recounted the impossible tale of Bulma's new "cousin."  
  
More than a bit stupefied, Krillen said slowly, "So...Goku's a girl now...going by the alias Kayka..."  
  
Trunks nodded, "Yup."  
  
The three adults looked at each other, each wondering if Trunks was actually telling the truth. Juuhachi just shook her head, "I'm not going to even bother," and headed upstairs to check on her little girl.  
  
Master Roshi slowly stroked his white beard as he looked up in thought, "I have heard stranger things happen..." he muttered mainly to himself.  
  
The former monk didn't bother asking him about what they were and with a sigh, he ran his hand through his hair, "Trunks, did you ask Goku's family about this?"  
  
Trunks nodded his head quickly, glad he wasn't getting kicked out the door for once. "Yup! He hasn't been home for two weeks, which is exactly when Kayka showed up! But when I told them about Kayka, Goten's mom shoved me out the door and called me a bad influence for lying, but I'm not! I heard it from Kay-Goku's mouth her-himself!"  
  
Krillen's eyes naturally narrowed suspiciously, "Are you sure she wasn't pulling your leg?"  
  
In response to the challenge, Trunks huffed indignantly, looking very much like his father, "She didn't even know I was there!"  
  
At that, Krillen had to pause and reflect on it, while Master Roshi, quite expectantly asked, "So...exactly how *ahem* is she anyway?"  
  
His housemate gave an exasperated sigh, while Trunks just looked at the old man in confusion. "What do you-"  
  
"You don't want to know," Krillen said quickly, hoping to preserve what little innocence Vegeta's son had left. Master Roshi gave a low cackle and decided to head to his official porno/memorabilia room. "You know what, I just don't know what to think," the once bald monk said to his small houseguest. "It's pretty unbelievable and you do have quite a reputation, Trunks."  
  
Just as the demi-saiyajin opened his mouth to protest, the doorbell rang and the monk quickly excused himself to go answer the door. Trunks turned to look at the door, and to his horror, his mother was right outside. He shrank into his seat, trying to look as hidden as possible.  
  
Krillen smiled at his friend and said graciously, "Oh hey! Why don't you come in! We haven't seen you for a while!"  
  
The scientist merely smiled, "Oh no, that's alright. I just came to pick up Trunks." She dug around in her bag and pulled out a large plate covered in tin foil, "Oh! And I made these for you! Some freshly baked cookies! I had just enough time to make them before I came over!"  
  
Krillen's eyes widened slightly in surprise. {I thought that Bulma hated baking! And I know she doesn't like cookies that much either.} "Uh...thank you," he said weakly, taking the plate from the scientist's hands. "I'm not so fond of them, but I'm sure Marron would love them!"  
  
Bulma absolutely beamed, "What a marvelous idea! You do like to spoil your little girl, don't you?"  
  
This time, Krillen's jaw dropped and he stared at the genius in complete disbelief. Who the heck was this person?! "Trunks, your mother's here." He was satisfied when Trunks came up to them, an expression of incredulity also very apparent on his face. At least he wasn't the only one.  
  
"Maybe she's been hanging around Grandma, too much," the demi-saiyajin whispered. The former monk merely nodded, taking in the info without a doubt since it seemed to be the only logical explanation of the scientist's bizarre behavior.  
  
Bulma held out her hand to her son and said, "Well come along, Trunks. You need to study with your tutor." With a resigned sigh, Trunks trudged up to her and took her hand, following her while she lead him towards the red Capsule Corps jet she had parked on the island.  
  
An idea came to Krillen and he suddenly called out, "Hey Bulma! Is it true that your new cousin is really Goku who transformed into a girl?"  
  
The scientist turned around and with the most cheerful of voices answered, "Why yes, she is!" And with that, she took her shocked son over to the jet to go to the private tutor, leaving a terrible aftermath as Krillen stared at the both of them leaving, looking like his world had just gone mad.  
  
****  
  
The sun rose higher in the sky, breaking the effects of dawn as the heavens grew light blue from purple and pink. On the carpeted floor of his room, a small figure began to stir from his unconscious state, trembling as he tried to wake.  
  
Slowly opening his eyes into narrow slits, a blurry line of vision came to sight. He winced at the intensity of the bright light and rolled over onto his side with a pained groan. His vision gradually got better as the blurs became edges and colors began to distinguish themselves. Staring at his hand, he came to notice something wasn't quite right.  
  
Suddenly, his mind went clear all at once, as a thrill of panic laced through his body. His hand-hands- they were smaller than they were supposed to be!  
  
His eyes traveled all over his body and he began to panic more. This-this body! It was his but it was too small! And what happened to his clothes?!  
  
Looking around his foreign surroundings frantically, he spotted a mirror hanging on the east wall. He bounced to his feet, nearly tripping on the strange clothes as he went face to face with his reflection.  
  
A scream ensued. With a loud 'thud' he fell back onto the floor as he tripped over the hem of the robe. His goatee! His face! {What the hell happened to me?!} the demon ou thought in panic. It was only after another quick glance at the mirror did he realize what was going on.  
  
He was in his son's body.  
  
...He was in Vegeta's body?!  
  
All too suddenly, the door behind him snapped open, and the ou spun around, taking an offensive fighting stance for his next big surprise.  
  
A young female saiyajin stared at him from the doorway. It was Kakarotto! Bejita realized in shock, quickly dropping his stance. {Wow, she's really beautiful in person...} he thought to himself in wonder.  
  
Goku continued to stare at him, before saying weakly, "Um...I heard a thud from downstairs. I thought you might have gotten yourself into trouble."  
  
{You don't know the half of it,} the demon ou mentally groaned, though he pulled up a grin and declared, "Nope! I'm perfectly fine! I just tripped on this...uh...robe! That's all! No biggie!"  
  
The younger saiyajin couldn't help but smile at the ouji's nervousness. It was cute seeing him all flustered like this! "Well, all right," she said, accepting the lie. "Keep having fun with your game!" she said cheerfully, flashing him a bright smile.  
  
For all reasons unknown to him, Bejita blushed. He blushed until he was as red as the vegetable that made his nickname. And he felt something... strange stir in the bottom of his heart. But before he could make sense of it, Kakarot had already left the room.  
  
He shook off the awkward thoughts and calmly decided to assess the situation.  
  
He's on Earth.  
  
He's in his son's body.  
  
He has no idea how he got there.  
  
Okay! So long as that was down! Could he have possibly possessed his son by accident then? It didn't really feel like it. Then again, this body was much more compatible to him, than the human female's was.  
  
So, if he really possessed his son's body, he should be able to talk to him.  
  
{Vegeta,} he called out mentally. {Son! Are you there?!} Relief washed over him when he heard a small buzzing moan at the back of his mind.  
  
~Papa?~ the ouji said weakly when he recognized the voice. ~...FATHER?!~  
  
{Uh...hi?} Bejita thought weakly, wondering how he was ever going to explain this to his son.  
  
That was until Vegeta suddenly cheered, ~All right! It worked!~  
  
{Worked?} the ou thought in confusion. {What do you mean worked? What worked?}  
  
~The ceremony I used so that I could talk to you,~ Vegeta stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
Bejita stayed silent for a long time, the only sound between them being the buzz of the communication link. {...You are aware that I am now in possession of your body, right?}  
  
Vegeta also went silent for a while, before saying in a flat tone, ~What?~  
  
His father outwardly sighed and decided a demonstration was in order. {Hang on, I'll put you to visual.} Vegeta felt his mind fuzz as the demon ou was doing god-knows-what to it.  
  
Surely his father had to be joking about this- possession thing! The ceremony was only meant to talk to his ancestor/father, not share his body with him! What had gone wrong?!  
  
{Here we go,} his father said suddenly and Vegeta found himself sitting back in his room. Vegeta let go a mental sigh of relief. So his father was joking. Either that or he had one very whacked up hallucination.  
  
He stood up and walked to the closet for a change of clothes. There was one slight problem though.  
  
He wasn't the one doing it.  
  
Vegeta screamed a scream that never reached his body's lips. ~What is this?! How can it-~  
  
{I'm doing it, son,} Bejita said, as he opened the closet door and began examining the clothes inside of it. {You need a bigger wardrobe.}  
  
~Father! I don't care about my clothes! I want you out of my body right now!~ The surrealism of being in a body doing things on its own, was too much for him. His mind felt numb as he tried to get used to the independent body's actions.  
  
{Ehehe...Funny thing that...} Bejita thought weakly. {Um...I can't really get out...}  
  
~WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T GET OUT?!~ Vegeta screeched bringing the buzz between them into a painful high-pitched squeal.  
  
Bejita winced at the noise and he replied indignantly, {You didn't let me finish! I just need Bardock's help to get out, and I'm really not too eager after what happened last time.}  
  
Vegeta thought in confusion, ~Last time? What last time?~  
  
After a sigh...{I accidentally possessed your imposter mate and Bardock used Holy Water to get me out. Problem was I turned temporarily insane and your imposter mate is now saintly...for life.}  
  
The ouji mentally paled at the thought, remembering how odd Bulma was acting for the past couple of days and imagining himself as an angel with wings and a halo. He would have shivered if he still carried any physical embodiment of himself.  
  
Bejita smiled grimly and picked out a couple clothes from the closet, tossing them onto the bed. His son demanded in a slightly anxious tone, ~What exactly are you doing?~  
  
{I'm going to enjoy myself!} Bejita said simply. {It's YOUR fault I'm stuck in your body, so until either you or Bardock figures out how to get me out, I'm going to bloody do what I want.}  
  
He had picked out a simple pair of jeans and a black muscle shirt and grabbed some sock and underwear from the top drawer of Vegeta's dresser.  
  
~You sure know your way around my room...~ Vegeta thought suspicious at the lack of time his father spent on looking for things. ~And you know what all these human garb are for too.~  
  
{I tend to pick up things, watching you all the time,} Bejita thought, enjoying the shocked buzz he felt from his son. He quickly ruffled his current hair so that it went from its limp gelled state back to its normal proud flame.  
  
{At least this body's more compatible than the other one,} Bejita thought at his son, making light conversation as he changed. {The center of gravity is more like what I'm used to, even if the body's a bit short.}  
  
Vegeta burned with embarrassment, ~Stop talking about my body like it's- it's a space cruiser of something!~  
  
{Sorry,} Bejita said, not really sounding sorry at all. {Well, now thanks to you, I had just missed the perfect Philly steak and cheese sandwich, so don't be surprised if I'm a little P.O.ed.}  
  
~Why don't you just go to Philadelphia?~ his son quipped sarcastically. He immediately realized that was a bad idea.  
  
{Ph-Philadelphia?! The haven of all Philly steak and cheese sandwiches in the universe?! That's here?! On THIS planet?!} his father said in excitement. Before Vegeta even said anything, the ou cheered, "I'm going to Philadelphia!!" He ran out into the hall and nearly trampled over Mirai who was heading down to the kitchen to have brunch.  
  
"Hey! Hey, Dad! Where are you going in a rush?!" the teenager yelled, thinking that there was some emergency at hand.  
  
"Philadelphia!" his 'father' half-yelled, half-cheered, before heading down the stairs and out the door. It was Vegeta's internal screeching that kept him from flying off into the sky.  
  
~Father! You don't even know where Philadelphia is! Calm down!~ With a heated pout, Bejita just barely stopped himself from heading into the sky. ~At least tell Kayka where we're going! You know I'm still in the middle of my plan to get her!~  
  
At that, Bejita began to feel uncomfortable with the idea, {Son, I don't think it's such a good idea that I talk to her...}  
  
~You better or else I won't tell you how to get to Philadelphia!~  
  
The ou swayed slightly, as he tried to think of a way out of it. True, he should tell her where they were going out of politeness, but the episode only minutes ago made him uneasy. Then again his visit to Philadelphia was at stake! {Fine,} Bejita muttered, though he knew it was a bad idea.  
  
He went back inside to look for the younger saiyajin, scanning around the large building hoping to get his over with quickly. ~She's probably in the kitchen.~ Bejita nodded and headed over in that direction, smelling the scent of food coming from the room.  
  
Oh Gods...Bejita's stomach was getting the better of him as it made him walk more quickly to the kitchen. Even if this body only had food the day before, Bejita hasn't had it for months already. He inhaled the delicious scent and rolled it off of his tongue, appreciating it to its full extent. {Maybe I should grab something to eat before I go anyway.} Vegeta just made an exasperated sigh, while he reviewed the possible errors he made during the ceremony.  
  
Bejita drifted into the kitchen, drawn by the delicious smell of food. But only a second later, it was completely forgotten, as he saw the room's sole occupant. Something akin to an electric shock ran through him as he saw the back of an orange and blue gied woman at the stove making scrambled eggs.  
  
Meanwhile Vegeta had the strangest feeling of déjà vu.  
  
Goku turned and smiled at the possessed ouji, giving him a "Hey Veggie, good to see you out of your room." Bejita stared at her, red to the face, all thoughts of food and Philadelphia out his mind, just admiring how beautiful she looked. Goku frowned and asked, "Um...can I help you with something?" a tinge of uneasiness in her voice, seeing the way the ouji was staring at her.  
  
Suddenly Vegeta realized where the déjà vu was from. ~HOLY CRAP!~  
  
Bejita ignored his son's mental outburst and smirked, the blush receding from his face as he edged towards his prey. "I think I can help myself," he said in a sly tone, his hand reaching for her. Goku held her breath, only for the hand to go past her and grab the plate of eggs on the counter next to her, taking them to the kitchen table to eat.  
  
Goku sighed, giving Bejita a slightly suspicious look, before going back to making eggs for herself and Mirai.  
  
But the ou continued to stare at her, absentmindedly eating his food and considering other appetites.  
  
{Gods, how could I not see how beautiful she was before?} he thought to himself, though his horrified son could hear every word. {Have I been so blind? What have I been doing, messing around with Ruby this whole time?}  
  
~Father, what are you saying?!~ Vegeta screeched, feeling his world quickly falling apart. This couldn't be happening to him! His father and mother were soulmates! He couldn't just break up with her and then take HIS soulmate!  
  
Once again, he was ignored. {Truly Kakarotto is a mate fit for a king. And seeing as I am one...}  
  
~Father, no, you can't!~ Vegeta suddenly felt the communication between them cut off, leaving him only with his vision and hearing of the outside world. ~By all the Gods, what is going on here?!~  
  
Then, it hit him like a silver bullet. ~I said 'enter'!! Oh Gods! That's what I did wrong! I said ENTER! And it was right at Yinae Thak'rov, too! To be in my shoes. He's in my shoes! He's in my shoes exactly!!~  
  
What was he going to do?! Obviously his father was affected by the soulmating that was in both of them and it twisted his perception of Kakarotto completely! And he was going to go after her...  
  
Despair and helplessness welled up in the ouji's heart, making him absolutely infuriated at his situation. ~And I don't even have control of my own body!~ He couldn't stop this madness.  
  
He couldn't do anything...  
  
For the first time in a very long time, Vegeta began to feel truly afraid.  
  
****  
  
End of Chapter 22  
  
B&B: ............  
  
Miyanon: *grins* I like it!  
  
B&B: ...................................  
  
Bejita: You have made me insane, yet again.  
  
Miyanon: Yup.  
  
Bardock: You're getting me sent to the "Special" Center.  
  
Miyanon: Yup.  
  
Bejita: You DO realize that this changes things between us, right?  
  
Miyanon: *laughs* Oh come on guys! It'll all work out in the end! It's the very definition of a romantic comedy!  
  
Bardock: But I never see romantic comedies!  
  
Miyanon: But you're in one.  
  
Bardock: ...Yeah, that's true, I suppose.  
  
Bejita: I just want a guarantee that everything goes back to the way it was!  
  
Miyanon: Well...I can't really promise that...  
  
B&B: WHAT?!  
  
Miyanon: *quickly* Well that was the end of this chapter of Onnafied! I hope that you enjoyed it! Bye! *runs off before B&B can get a hold of her*  
  
**** 


	23. That's a lot of staring, and screaming, ...

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.  
  
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Miyanon: Okay, before you guys says anything. I swear that I just finished school today.  
  
Bardock: The assembly sounded like hell.  
  
Bejita: -_snorts-_ Oh please.  
  
Bardock: Not Hell! Just regular hell!  
  
Bejita: -_grumbles about technicalities-_  
  
Miyanon: Well anyway, it's been waaaay too long. And This Saturday I'm leaving for Thailand for six weeks of language training. It's gonna be fun!  
  
Bejita: -_blinks-_ You are joking right?  
  
Miyanon: Of course, I am! Sheesh! I didn't really want to just get out of school just to go to a YWCA so I can be stuck in a classroom for six hours each day learning only one subject!  
  
Bardock: Wow, touchy.  
  
Miyanon: -_sighs-_ I've been under a lot of stress as of late. But not to worry! I don't think it'll affect my writing!  
  
Bardock: Unless you get a major writer's block like that last time.  
  
Miyanon: True, true.... Poker again?!  
  
B&B: -_look up from their game-_ We bore easily.  
  
Miyanon: -_groans-_ Okay, whatever. We'll just start. ....Hey let me play!  
  
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Blood slowly drained from the damp cloth until the bowl of water had a distinctive red tint to it. Thin, dexterious fingers took the cloth and mopped up the rest of the blood that had come from the serious abdomible wound, then bound up the tortured saiyajin's chest tightly with some of the new bandages that some of the other saiyajin females had made.  
  
Ruby, her hair down and about, sweating in the eternal HFIL heat, smiled at her patient before heading to another saiyajin to treat. The wounded saiyajin coughed out weakly, "Thank you, you highness."  
  
"Don't talk," Ruby chided out in annoyance. "Just go to sleep." She sighed and brushed back her hair with her hand. She wasn't really used to this work, but since most of the nurses decided to frickin' REINCARNATE themselves, the hall was seriously understaffed. So she really had no choice but to help out.  
  
Suddenly she felt so light headed, her vision going spotty. Aleria grabbed her before she fell, crying out in worry, "Are you all right, your highness?"  
  
Ruby shook away the spots and supported herself on her own two legs. "Yes, I'm fine." But the truth was she wasn't feeling well since the whole sandwich incident. She felt that it had to do something with Bejita. Actually it was kind of obvious it had something to do with Bejita. Ever since he disappeared, it felt like... he disappeared. As in she could no longer feel him through their bond anymore. As in there really was no bond anymore. But then that meant...  
  
No! She was just tired, that's all! "I'm going to go rest in my office. Think you can handle this for a while?"  
  
Aleria nodded (as IF she was going to say no) "Yes, your highness. Have a nice nap." She let the queen go on her way, up the stairs to her office/bedroom. The poor queen was exhausted. She could tell that her highness wasn't getting any sleep at all, even with sleeping pills. Her fists dug into the bandages in her hand as she thought of how all the other females had abandoned them. Just left! Stupid little- ARGH! It made her crazy just thinking about how unloyal they were!  
  
Her cold ebony eyes scanned the patients as well. They were no help either! She didn't blame them for being here. After all who went and got themselves tortured on purpose? But those ingrates! Once they were healed, they thanked the queen kindly and then skidaddled! Couldn't they at least wait around and help out! Even if it was for an hour!  
  
Then she spotted one long haired saiyajin heading out the door. Whe she'd show him! Rolling up her sleeves, she approached the third class.  
  
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Mirai and Trunks exchanged odd glaces between each other as Goku slapped down a plate of burned eggs in front of them. It wasn't as bad as Bulma's usual, but it was bordering between brown and yellow with the burned color winning. Plus it had the faintest odor of...  
  
Trunks nearly gagged at the thought of it and elected to grab his six boxes of eggos from the freezer.  
  
Goku was too distracted by her thoughts to notice or really care. The hand that wasn't propping her head up from the green clothed table was busily crushing her fried rice between the grooves of her fork, while her eyes fixated to a spot beyond the walls of the kitchen. It was a sure sign that she was gone.  
  
_She really is pretty_, Mirai thought to himself, admiring the soft curves of her face. Even after discovering Kayka's identity, Mirai found himself enchanted by her and he wasn't going to deny it. ...Except to his father, but that was different.  
  
Still, Mirai was no threat. Made absolutely sure he wasn't a threat. Because he wasn't going to try anything on her, not just because of how vulnerable Goku was in this form, but also because he heard enough about saiyajin mating rituals from his mother (in the future) to know that his very presence here was a threat to his own life.  
  
Gods! His father was ready to kill him when he thought his future son was competition! After that Mirai made it a point to touch her as little as possible, so as to not arouse any aggression in his father.  
  
Which was why he wasn't holding her hand like he felt he should be doing right now. Instead he asked, "G-**Kayka**," –he caught himself quickly in front of his chibi self- "is something the matter?"  
  
The question jolted Goku out of her faraway thought. "Hm?" she looked at Mirai, "on no. Nothing's wrong."  
  
She went back to grinding her rice.  
  
A second later.  
  
"Mirai, does Vegeta seem to be acting a little... different to you this morning?"  
  
The demi-saiyajin frowned, "No, I haven't seen him yet."  
  
"I hab!" Trunks piped in with a mouth full of waffles. After a quick swallow, he said, "He was wearing his saiyajin armor and he kept asking where Mirai-sagonaya was."  
  
Mirai suddenly turned as white as a sheet, as if he just saw a ghost. Both Goku and Trunks looked at him in surprise. "Er.. Mirai? Are you alright?" Goku asked in a concerned voice.  
  
The demi-saiyajin instantly stood from his seat and said rather quickly, "I'll be going away for a while. For- ah... training! you know. Uh... if Dad asks, tel him I'm back in my own time." And in a blur, he was gone.  
  
Trunks and Goku looked at Mirai's empty chair in confusion. "That was odd," the saiyajin said. Her breakfast buddy nodded in agreement.  
  
Then Vejita came into the room quite "unexpectedly," wearing the very saiyajin armor that he came to Earth in. Or at least the same style. He grilled out, "Have you seen the brat? The older one?"  
  
Goku smiled nervously at him. Why did he seem so much more intimidating all of a sudden? "You just missed him. He went to back to his own time."  
  
"There's no way you're getting to him now," Trunks grinned, guessing why his future counterpart left.  
  
Vejita muttered a quick curse under his breath. "I need a sagonaya to fight!"  
  
"What about me?" The prince-king glared at his love.  
  
"I can't fight you! That defeats the entire purpose of Harukuin!"  
  
Goku's face went black once more. She had long since given up on her fried rice. "Haru-what?!"  
  
Trunks finished up his last waffle and asked through licking his sticky fingers, "Wad aboud me?"  
  
Vejita scowled at the boy, "No, you're too young."  
  
"Piccolo?" Goku suggested helpfully.  
  
"NO!!" The prince-king screamed out in frustration. "He's frickin' asexual! Why in the world would he-!" Vejita stopped his tantrum short with a groan. "Just nevermind, Kakarotto. Go flaunt yourself somewhere so I can go kick the ass of whoever so much as looks at you."  
  
The look on Goku's face was priceless, and Vejita nearly burst into laughter right there.  
  
"WHAT?!" she squawked in disbelief.  
  
"Hey, Ruby had to do that! No one dared to do Harukuin with royalty!"  
  
Goku glared at the prince-king, her arms folding across her chest, "And exactly who is Ruby?"  
  
Vejita's face drew into a look of genuine confusion. "I have no idea..."  
  
The saiyajin woman didn't look too convinced. She glared at him harshly, until Vejita could literaly feel sweat forming at his pores. "D-do you mind?"  
  
He gave a yelp when Goku, gently as she could, slammed a fist on the table, making it groan and creak. "Fine! I'll go flaunt myself or whatever! I don't even know what it's for! I don't even know what flaunting is! But whatever! Fine!" With an agitated hiss, she withdrew from the kitchen.  
  
"Must be PMS," Vejita muttered and called happily after her, "I'll see you in half and hour!"  
  
Trunks, meanwhile, had long since stopped licking his fingers and his hand hung in his mouth like a fleshy look, while his wide bright blue eyes stared at his "father" in pure confusion.  
  
Vejita shifted uncomfortable in his seat, "What are you lookin' at?" he said, a half-hearted scowl on his face.  
  
"Dad, are you okay?"  
  
Before Vejita could answer though, Bulma walked in. There was an uncharacteristic morning smile on her face, an apron that said 'Kiss the Cook', and a full plate of pastries in her hands. "Good morning, everyone! I made these this morning."  
  
Trunks stared at his mother, and stared even more when his father immediately reached for a Danish. "Thanks woman."  
  
Trunks stared even harder when Vejita actually put said Danish into his mouth and gave a small purr of approval. "Damn, this is good. Maybe I'll try a puff."  
  
Suddenly Vejita's eyes lit up as an idea hit him. "Puffs...Full Monty..." A wicked, wicked smile came to his face and he scrambled out of the kitchen without another word.  
  
Trunks still kept staring, even though his eyes were beginning to start to water. "What the heck is _Full Monty_?" he asks in pure confusion.  
  
Bulma smiled, as cheerful as ever, "I believe it's a British movie about male strippers."  
  
The boy's face went blank as a sort of numbness washed over him. His mother put the plate of pastries under his nose and grinned. "Puff?"  
  
Trunks stared at it and stared at his mother once more.  
  
The kitchen suddenly filled with horrific shrills and Trunks fled from it as if his very life depended on it, or at least, his sanity.  
  
Bulma watched her son take off and smiled, with a shrug. "Oh well."  
  
The door, however, opened once more to reveal Bunni. There was her characteristic bright morning smile on her face, an apron that said 'Hot Stuff,' and a full plate of pastries in her hands. "Good morning, everyone! I made these this morning."  
  
Except... there was no one there to greet her, save for one person.  
  
Bulma, with a bright smile on her face and a plate full of pastries in her hands, said cheerfully, "Good morning, Mom! Guess you're a little too late."  
  
Bunni looked at her daughter, her beautiful precious daughter...  
  
And she twitched.  
  
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
  
Bardock stared at the padded white walls around him, glaring at him, slowly closing in on him, threatening to crush him to death.  
  
His tired, weary eyes looked at these walls, but he just smiled.  
  
This Special Centre's form of "solitary confinement" was a complete joke! Yesterday only felt like a month. There was a window up it the corner of the room. Thanks to his saiyajin senses, he could hear people through his inadequate "soundproof" doors.  
  
But Frieza's version of siltary confinement... that was complete hell. No, it was worse than hell, seeing the shape that Bejita's in all the time.  
  
He suffered through complete silence, complete blindness, complete shutdown on all his senses, even taste, smell, and touch. He suffered it for two years, other people told him, before he finally broke down. But two years was a laugh. When he was in that horrible place, it was...beyond time. No beginning, no end, just constant nothingness.  
  
You see, Frieza, the ingenius freak of nature, had planted a chip in the back of his mind, one that controled all his senses. It could control his adreneline too, making him pumped up for missions, and leaving him in a horrible state of withdrawel afterwards until he got to go onto another mission. In fact, most saiyajin practically begged to go on missions, just to feel that beautiful rush of energy, to feel like they were gods, instead of just regular soldiers. It was an addictive state of mind.  
  
Those chips were what controled his army. Even Zarbon and Dodoria had them. Bardock shivered in anger as he absently touched that small scar at the back of his head. The chip was long gone, but the scar was still a heavy reminder of what he went through.  
  
Which is why this place was such a joke. Obviously none of the angels had any experience with Frieza before, sappy little wimps. Hmph!  
  
Bardock didn't really want to admit it to himself, but another factor for the ridiculousness of the situation was because he could have conversations. Nice long conversations...  
  
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
  
General Mchtejaxthletiacu, otherwise known as General Mac, regarded the dark angel with something akin to both fury and awe. No, Bardock couldn't see him, couldn't hear him. That was supposed to be part of the whole solitary confinement deal.  
  
You could say that General Mac had a love-hate relationship with the saiyajin. When he first met Bardock about ten years back, he knew it from the moment he looked into the dark angel's eyes that Bardock was the greatest fighter he will ever meet. He also knew he hated Bardock from the very moment the damned minute that he opened his mouth!  
  
Every word the saiyajin said was completely insulting! General Mac demanded respect from everyone around him. He was the advisor of councils and kings, the comander of all the armed forces of his entire planet and its allies, up until he was killed in battle with Coola.  
  
But Bardock disrespected him and undermimed his status every time he saw him. Yet General Mac couldn't say a word of disrespect to him, which was easily solved by not saying anything to Bardock at all.  
  
How ironic that Bardock's fate was now in his _**very**_ capable hands.  
  
Apparently, Bardock was enjoying solitary confinement and could be heard laughing every now and then. Not crazy laughter, but regular laughter, which was never a good sign.  
  
The dark angel had psychic powers.  
  
How no one found out about it before was an absolute mystery, yet everyday he broke through the psychic barriers around his cell like a bullet through a cracker to communicate with someone on the outside, whom the Center had not been able to track yet. In fact, Bardock may not have even realized that there were any barriers, which was just damned annoying!  
  
In any case, General Mac was being pleaded by those pansy-ass Special Centre caretakers to take care of the matter personally.  
  
Oh yes, he would take care of it alright.  
  
No one has ever been able to resist his torture methods before.  
  
Rest assured he would make Bardock break, and General Mac will be right there, to make sure that when the Special Centre caretakers gently put the pieces back together to their liking, he would be there to help.  
  
A small smirk graced the General's face, as he continued to watch the saiyajin, the only person ever to have called him, "_Short stuff_."  
  
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
  
_[Hey Qu'Pac]_  
  
{holy jeez! bardock! don't DO that!}  
  
_[And how am I supposed to contact you?]_  
  
{i don't know! Doesn't your psychic powers come with a warning bell?!}  
  
_[Not that I know of.]_  
  
{damn... i could be crazy, y'know, talking to you and i wouldn't even know it}  
  
_[Oh shut up. Anyway, that's the rundown on the security systems here?]_  
  
{it's insanely good. it's under mm's direct control so it's even better than the vault at hq.}  
  
_[Double M?]_  
  
{military martyrs. you know the soldiers who died fighting under orders for their country of cause of whatever.}  
  
_[If that's the case, then why aren't there any other saiyajins up here?]_  
  
{well, did your saiyajins actually believe in the cause they were fighting for?}  
  
_[Well- yes, some at least- maybe- Okay, no. But there must be at least some from the Dawn Era, when we were first civilizing ourselves.]_  
  
{that's got to be at least 10,000 years ago!}  
  
_[More...]_  
  
{i'm not sure if you'll be able to find them anymore. even if they were here they would have gained anough spirituality to join the Greater One in Nirvana by now.}  
  
_[Yeah...]_  
  
{well not to worry! we'll get you out of there first! Now let me tell you about the ventilation system first...  
  
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
  
It was starting to get late in the day and there was still no sign of the two saiyajins anywhere on Capsule Corps.  
  
But Trunks didn't care. He blamed the whole thing on Goku really. It's his fault he got turned into a girl and turning his whole family insane.  
  
He only momentarily got his sanity back when Goten flew over, declaring that he wanted to play. He just watched his friend play 'SpyHunter' by himself, too disoriented to be up to playing a two player game. He had a reputation after all. He couldn't lose to Goten of all people just because of his dumb parents who both went completely bonkers.  
  
Goten suddenly stopped playing, effectively running his car straight into a bunch of chickens and a wall. "Trunks?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You seem troubled."  
  
Trunks just laughed.  
  
Meanwhile....  
  
Piccolo and Krillen stuck closely to each other, eyes wide as they stared at the battle between mother and daughter in the kitchen. No, not battle. It was an all out war!! Think iron chef- only with cleaning and cooking and every so often Piccolo and Krillen had to dodge the knives that were thrown at each other.  
  
The tall nameck sighed as he tilted his head to the side to dodge a butcher knife. He didn't plan on getting caught up in this feud between Bulma and Bunni. He came to Capsule Corps to investigate the disappearance of Goku by the sudden appearance of Kayka. Like he really cared. What would Bulma's cousin have to do with Goku anyway? But the little former monk insisted that it was important.  
  
And why did Bulma and Bunni still keep smiling like that?! They were having a battle! They could at least stop smiling like everything was hunky-dory! It was incredibly annoying!  
  
A timer went off and the two women stopped their cooking immediately and both placed a steaming piece of pumpkin pie in front of their two captives. They glared at each other through their smiles and said ever so sweetly, "Do try it, which do you like better?"  
  
Piccolo said in his usual gruff voice, "I don't eat food."  
  
So the two turned expectantly to Krillen. Annoyed, the monk muttered under his breath, "Thanks a lot Piccolo."  
  
With a sigh, Krillen picked up a fork and took a bite of each pie starting with Bulma's, taking a drink of water, and then with Bunni's. They both hovered over him, waiting to hear what he would say.  
  
Krillen looked up in thought, tapping the prongs of his fork against his lip until he looked back at the two women. "They taste the same."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
The shrills made Piccolo reel back in pain and nearly fell out of his seat. His companion held his hands up nervously as if to appease them. "Come on! It shouldn't be so unexpected! You must have used the same recipes or something!"  
  
Bulma sighed and drew a smile back on her face, "Well, I suppose that's true, right?"  
  
Bunni also regained her smile, "Yes, it seems that the only thing we must do is make up new kinds of food, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"Right."  
  
And they went straight back to their war.  
  
Krillen and Piccolo sweatdropped. "When is Kayka going to be back?" the monk yelled over the din of the cooking women.  
  
"She should have been back hours ago!" Bulma yelled back while she busily chopped up a chocolate bar into little chunks.  
  
Krillen sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Oh fine. Why don't we just leave? I'm sorry for dragging you here for nothing, Piccolo." He looked up at his fighting ally, only to find that he was staring at the kitchen door, or at least in that direction.  
  
"I think I feel Son's ki coming this way."  
  
Krillen raised his eyebrows and searched out for the ki as well. Funny, it didn't really feel like his. "Are you sure?"  
  
"I can tell by the inner aura. I'm better at sensing that than you."  
  
It wasn't meant to be insulting, but Krillen was still a little miffed. So they quickly snuck out of the kitchen before the two women noticed that they were gone.  
  
They went outside onto the lawn, the setting sun bleaching the sky with orange and violet hues. Oddly enough, Goku's ki was on the ground, walking down the road and not flying. Piccolo strained to look over the stupid hump in the road that kept him from seeing the saiyajin. Krillen didn't even try, because even if he was as tall as Piccolo, the nameck's eyes were still better.  
  
Suddenly Piccolo's eyes bulged out and his jaw went slack. Krillen took it as signs that Bulma and Trunks actually were right. But as he looked over the hill in the road, he wasn't exactly prepared to see... one of the most beautiful women he ever saw in his life!  
  
Goku approached Capsule Corps' ground, absentmindedly rubbing her arm with her right hand, deep in thought, and nearly didn't notice her two friends until she practically bumped into Piccolo's chest. When she looked up, she nearly had a heart attack when she saw the nameck staring down at her.  
  
_What the heck is he doing here?!_ she wondered. As an afterthought, _And why does he seem so much taller than before?  
_  
Krillen was there too, she noticed, and he hesitantly smiled and waved at her. "Uh.. hi, are you Kayka?"  
  
Goku nodded silently, her eyes wide. She really had no idea what to do! Did they know about her?! She panicked mentally, even though she was completely calm on the outside. "Do you want something from me?"  
  
Piccolo opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but Krillen held up a hand and smiled, "No, no, that's not why we're here! We just came to- uh... welcome you! Yeah! We didn't meet you yet, so we just wanted to say hi! Um... say, how long are you going to be here?"  
  
Goku smiled, even though Krillen's act didn't exactly fool her, "I'm going to be here for only about another two weeks."  
  
Piccolo and Krillen exchanged looks. That was when the dragonballs were going to be ready. "Well, thanks a lot for welcoming me," Goku continued. "You two are Piccolo and Krillen, right?"  
  
Piccolo asked, even though it was more like a demand, "And how do you know of us?"  
  
Goku smiled, not faltering in the least, "Oh! I saw you in tournaments since I was young! It was awesome watching you fight! I love martial arts!"  
  
Piccolo muttered under his breath, "Yes, I bet you do." Krillen quickly elbowed him in the ribs.  
  
With a mental shake of the head, Goku decided that they probably did know about her. "You know, Piccolo, maybe you and I can spar sometime." Her voice didn't really sound threatening, but the nameck had enough of those types of spars to know exactly what she meant.  
  
"Touché, Goku."  
  
"I meant it, y'know."  
  
Krillen glanced between them, looking slightly confused, but he smiled and slapped his childhood friend on the back, "Well that's alright! We won't tell anyone!"  
  
Goku smiled, looking astonishing to the former monk, "Thanks Krillen."  
  
Krillen laughed nervously, fiddling his fingers together, "You know when Trunks told me, I thought that you would look... I dunno, a bit more manly or something."  
  
At that, the saiyajin blushed, instinctively putting a hand to the back of her head, "Dang it, Krillen, don't say stuff like that!" Then she did a double take, "**TRUNKS** TOLD YOU?!"  
  
Meanwhile, upstairs, Trunks suddenly had a terrible sense of foreboding. He looked over at Goten and said in the most serious of voices. "Goten, I need someplace to hide."  
  
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
  
Bejita smiled twistedly as he twirled his recently recorded tape on the tip of his finger, feeling very proud of what he did. {Now there is absolutely no way that Kakarotto can resist even two seconds of this. She'll be all over me before the tape even runs through.}  
  
However, hidden inside "his" mind, Vegeta was completely and utterly mortificated. His entity pulsed with his horror and embarassment, and probably would for the rest of his being every time he thought of what his father DID with his body.  
  
He would probably _never, **ever**_ recover, _ever_ again.  
  
Bejita caught the tape in his hand, smiling benignly as he let it rest on top of his current body's chest. "I should probably show this Kayka now."  
  
If he hadn't closed the link between him and his son and completely forgot about it and completely forgot that he had a son and a soulmate already, and all those other unecessary things, Bejita would have turned mind-deaf from the inner heart wrenching screams of horror that filled Vegeta's entire domain.  
  
But he did suddenly get a terrible migraine.  
  
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Aleria smiled in satisfaction, wiping her bloody hands onto her robes. Now that she actually managed to get that long haired third class to work, she could take as long a break as she wanted to.

Actually, Raditz was a sweet guy. Of course that could've been because he was tempered by HFIL, but most saiyajin just got more mean hearted.

Although...it was kind of strange that Raditz said she reminded him of his mother.

She sighed, and ran a hand through her sweat matted hair. Damn, it was just too hot in HFIL. She wished she could just go and jump into the blood lake. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible since there was an increase in ogres around hell and she couldn't be indisposed at such a time. Not when she could be needed at any time to keep a saiyajin from blinking out of existence.

Aleria smiled as she passed through the hall, seeing Raditz being poked and picked on by some of the healing saiyajins.

"Nurse-boy!"

"Women's worker!"

_**Men**_. At least her Raditz wasn't as immature and ignored them even while he helped to change their bandages.

Aleria frowned at the thought. Since when did she think of Radtiz as hers? Oh well, she shrugged and folded up her apron. She should probably check on the her highness to see if she was doing any better.

She thought of Radtiz some more as she ascended the stairs to the queen's quarters, the smallest of blushes on her face. Yes, he really was cute.

Suddenly, she almost tripped over a foreign object on the circular stairway. When Aleria looked down, her eyes suddenly widened and her jaw went wide open, but no screams came out.

Ruby never made it to her room.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
  
Miyanon: breath of relief Oh thank God! I actually finished it before I left! It's a miracle! _-suddenly a holy light comes down and the air fills with the sounds of the heavenly host-_ BARDOCK, STOP THAT!  
  
Bardock: -_grins cheesily and snaps his fingers-_  
  
Miyanon: -_turns back to the game-_ Okay, so what have you got?  
  
Bejita: -_smirks and puts down his cards-_ Royal flush.  
  
Miyanon: ......Bardock's right, you are a cheater.  
  
Bejita: Hey!  
  
Miyanon: Well, enough of that. I actually have to start packing and stuff. I hope that you enjoyed this! I'll try to update it as soon as I get back! By the way, my school starts in August. So I don't have that much time before school starts, but I will try!  
  
Bardock: You? Update in less than two months? HA! That really would be a miracle!  
  
Miyanon: You're not a very nice angel, you know.  
  
Bardock: Of course!


	24. The DARK chapter

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.

* * *

Miyanon: I thought this day would never come! You guys have no idea what a funk I've been in ever since I've been in Thailand. Lots and lots of personal crap going on. But it's mostly over! So I've been able to concentrate on writing for once! I tried stuffing this chapter with a lot of stuff to help compensate. Some of the stuff is slightly dark though, just to warn you. ...Okay, this is a really dark chapter for this type of story. It makes it interesting though! ....Um... Without further ado! Ado? Chapter 24!

B&B: HOLD IT!

Miyanon: W-what? What are you two doing here?

Bejita: Honestly, you didn't think you were going to start this story without us having a word are you?

Bardock: Yeah, why exactly hire Goku and Vegeta to stall us? Is there something you don't want us to know?

Miyanon: _-nervous chuckle-_ What? Really? You think so? Th-that's nonsense! _-whispers-_ Those doofus'! They were supposed to keep them away for the whole chapter!

Bardock: _-eyes narrow suspiciously-_ What was that?

Miyanon: Nothing!

Bejita: On with the story!

* * *

"So it was chibi Trunks and not mirai Trunks that told you guys, right?" Goku asked for clarification for the sixth time in a row. 

The former monk sighed for the sixth time in a row and said, "Yes, Goku. I don't think that Mirai would break his promise to you that easily."

The woman warrior nodded resignedly, slipping back into the plush couch in between Piccolo on her right and Krillen on her left. "I suppose you're right. Maybe Trunks just overheard Mirai and me talking."

Piccolo made a small 'phf' as he thought of the prince's heir. "That boy is nothing but trouble. I still don't forgive you gor saddling me up with them to train while you went off and died again."

Huffing indignantly, Goku copied the nameck's angry posture. "Well, it's not Trunks' fault he's got bad genes! It's probably all Vegeta's fault, the- the stupidhead!!"

The last word sent a shock nothing short of an electric jolt through both of her companions and a look of confusion came to her face when they both physically flinched. "What's the matter with you guys?"

Kirllen's eyes trailed up to hers nervously. "Uh..Goku, you just him a...Stupidhead," he said with some hesitance. "The last time you called ANYONE a stupidhead was when you graduated driving school and your teacher ditched you at a really expensive restaurant with a huge dinner bill he was supposed to treat you with. You ended up going to jail and doing community service for five months! And that was with Bulma's attorney!"

Goku let out a weak chuckle as she recalled the incident, twisting her fingers nervously in front of her. 'Ah, yes- well...At least I don't have to do community service this time." The others' eyes went wide and they drew away from her as if she was a walking proximity mine.

"G-Goku?" Krillen's voice couldn't help but falter. "What happened this time?"

"Well, I ended up going to jail for assaulting a guy that I asked to show me how to flaunt myself," she said rather quickly, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "But that's what Vegeta said I had to do," Goku added defensively at the incredulous looks on her friends' faces. "Only I didn't know what the heck flaunting was!

"Anyway, I ended up spending the day in jail until Tien of all people ended up bailing me out. Poor guy couldn't figure out who the heck I was when I called for a favor, but he was really nice about it and helped me out anyway. But now I owe him a cup of coffee together, but I don't even like coffee and-"

Her fast speech was halted when Krillen interrupted with a disbelieving, "Wait a sec! VEGETA told you to flaunt yourself?!"

Goku nodded, ruffling both her friends' feather more that a little.

"That doesn't sound like any Vegeta I know," Piccolo muttered in a perturbed tone.

Krillen chuckled half-heartedly. "Boy, Goku, I can see why Vegeta deserves the Stupidhead label now."

A look of confusion crossed the female saiyajin's face. She sat up from the plush seat to look the former monk square in the face. "Krillen, I don't blame Vegeta for the jail thing. It's my fault that I lost my temper with that guy. I'm mad because Vegeta said he would meet me in half an hour, but I haven't seen hide or hair of him all day!"

At once, Krillen sweatdropped, leaning closer to Goku's face to see if she was serious or not.

She was.

"Uh...Goku?" he said as he pulled back. "Is that really all?" He looked past Goku to see if the nameck was just as surprised as he was. However, Piccolo was still meditating on Vegeta's strange behavior and linking it up to some odd incidences that Dende had mentioned to him earlier.

"Yes, that's all," Goku muttered, looking annoyed. "In all my years of knowing Vegeta, he never blew me off on an appointment he set himself! And judging from his perfectly normal, happy _chi_, he had no good reason to either!"

Her angry words came to a halt when Krillen suddenly laughed. "Goku! Buddy! I still don't see why you're so worked up over that! I mean girls get all huffy about things like that if they actually like the person who blew them off."

Goku's eyebrows knit in confusion. "But I do like Vegeta."

Krillen merely waved the notion away. "No, no. I'm talking about love-like."

Instantly, the saiyajin turned beet red. "I do NOT!"

"I'm not sayin'-"

Suddenly Piccolo snapped out of his trance and he took Krillen's wrist and started to pull him towards the stairs, disregarding the fact that he was in mid-sentence. "Krillen, we need to go find Vegeta. Now."

All the former monk could do was shrug helplessly at his friend and let himself be dragged along.

Goku glared at his back as he left. "Jeez, how can he think that I like that stupidhead like that anyway?" Yet, somehow, she knew that wasn't...entirely true.

* * *

Raditz looked on the most recent late queen with worry. She was incredibly pale, her skin moist and clammy, and try as they might, he and that nurse-girl couldn't rouse her from her stupor. 

All they could get out her were the words that she muttered in her sickly condition.

"Philadelphia..." she moaned out again through parched lips. Raditz couldn't make head or tails of it.

"Aleria," he said as the woman came over with a washcloth and warm water. "What in nine hells is the matter with the queen?"

Aleria sighed and dampened the cloth, placing it on Ruby's forehead. "Well, after examining her thouroughly..." Raditz leaned nearer with interest. "I have determined that I have no idea."

"WAH!" the soldier fell over, but got back up almost instantly. "How does that help?!" he almost screeched.

Aleria snapped angrily, "Well, maybe it's a mental problem! And if it is, then King Bejita should have it, too! They are supposed to be soulmates after all!"

Raditz sighed at the old myth. "I know, I know. If one's sick, the other one is. If one forgets the other, they both pay. But King Bejita ain't here so we can't tell!"

Aleria gave Raditz a look that suddenly made him extremely uneasy. If fact, it was the same look that she gave him before she duped him into becoming a volunteer nurse.

In no time at all, he found himself in front of the entire injured population of the hall.

"Um..." he gulped nervously, trying his best not to show his anxiety. Jeez, HFIL was really making him mellow. Then again he didn't usually have to confront a mass of hundreds of saiyajin, all of them injured, and thusly making them all more manic and aggressive with the pervading smell of blood invading all their senses.

Raditz would have taken going to a nine star planet and declaring he was going to kill them all, which was a seriously stupid mistake on his part, than go before this hellish assembly any day.

"Look, I need a group of relatively healthy men to form a search party to look for King Bejita...and for my father, Chuui Barudokko," Raditz added as an afterthought. He'd been looking for his father for years, but no one had ever seen him. Not even the older denizions of the lower planes.

For the most part, the assembly ignored him, including Nappa, who was back because of his 'brain tumor' again.

The few that listened glanced at Radtiz and then at each other. "How come?" one saiyajin asked, his arm bandaged up and casted.

"Uh...There's a little royal crisis..." Raditz answered cautiously. Not cautiously enough, actually.

The whole room became a buzz of chatter and slight panic. "Crisis?!" one patient bellowed. "What kind of crisis?!" "Queen Ruby ain't reincarnated is she?!" another demanded.

"NO! NO!!" Raditz yelped, his panicked cires doing nothing to help the situation. "She's just in a COMA!!"

Only when the words left his mouth, did Raditz find out how much he missed that nine star planet.

All hell broke loose (figuratively) when someone suddenly cried, "Alright! We can get into the alcohol stash!" All the 'injured' saiyajin rushed for the ration and the ethanol, reserved only for cleaning wounds. They were piling on top of each other, brawls suddenly breaking out as the saiyajin started whacking each other with their canes and casted limbs. Even the truly bed ridden were trying to get in on it by hopping their beds over to the smell of alcohol and blood.

"No. NO. NO!!" Raditz shrieked again upon witnessing the mayhem that he had inadvertently caused.

It was then that Nappa stood up, a giant among saiyajin (literally), and bellowed for the saiyajin to come to a halt.

To the poor, exasperated third class' amazement, they did.

"Look at you all!" Nappa growled, glaring at them all fiercely. "You should be ashamed of yourselves, running amuck like this!"

Tears of gratitude filled Raditz' eyes at this unlikely savior. _Oh Nappa, how could I have misjudged you so greatly when we were working together?_ Raditz wasn't exactly in his right mind, almost sick with relief that he was getting some support.

Meanwhile, the majority of the mob stare at the elite as if he had grown an extra head. Or in Nappa's case, a whole head of hair.

"Now line up into a queue! All of you!" the elite yelled. "We are saiyajin! And we will conduct this raid of the booze in a nice orderly fashion!"

Raditz fell over yet again in that same hour and got up, screaming at his old comrade in arms. "TEMEE!! KONO YARO!! If Vegeta were here he'd send you into the next dimension A HUNDRED BILLION TIMES!!"

Nappa merely gave him an unimpressed look. "Well, he isn't. So don't threaten me so stupidly. Unless YOU want to challenge me."

"Ch." Raditz twitched and kept his rage under check. "Just give me a team of six and you can go ahead and raid the **poisonous** alcohol." He really didn't want to leave them all to take advantage of the queen in her state, but he had no choice!

Nappa sighed resignedly, rubbing the back of his smooth head. "Fine, you can have your stinkin' team." He pointed to the six saiyajin that were in line first. "You six! You go and follow Raditz and take his orders! I'll make sure some booze is left over for you."

The six elites grumbled and sneered, not liking the idea of following a mere third class' orders. But they didn't have much of a choice as the saiyajin behind them already pushed them out of the line. Grudgingly, they trudged over to a very unhappy looking soldier and followed him outside.

Meanwhile, Aleria ignored the racket that was going on downstairs and tended to Ruby, who was not getting any better.

"Bejita...Bejita..." Ruby whispered out of her hellish nightmares. "How could... you..."

* * *

Vejita thoughtfully rubbed his chin in front of the mirror. He was feeling the tiniest scruff of fuzz growing on his chin. Oddly enough, this happened to him before. But the hair was almost white, so it couldn't have... Suddenly he got another migraine. Wincing, he tried to massage the pain away. He was really getting a lot of these. Especially...especially when things didn't make sense... 

Then he realized that namecks must be frickin' vampires. How else could he not notice the cucumber sneak up behind him in front of the bathroom mirror?

"Untie me at once you blithering pompous weaklings!!" Vejita shrieked from the chair that he was literally chained, roped, and crazy-glued to in the middle of an empty Capsule Corps supply warehouse.

Krillen, leaning on some boxes a few feet away, looked at the prince-king skeptically. "Well, he kind of insults people like Vegeta. Only it's a bit more flowery."

"FLOWERY?! I'LL SHOW YOU FLOWERY, CUE BALL! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET FREE SO I CAN BEAT YOUR SELF-JUSTIFIED ASS INTO THE NEXT DIMENSION!!"

"...Are you sure he's not Vegeta?" Krillen asked.

Piccolo frowned and circled the struggling saiyajin. "It's odd. His spirit feels like it's two different people."

A look of confusion passed across the former monk's face. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that mean he's possessed?"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Vejita screeched. Piccolo took a piece of duck tape and slapped it across the prince-king's mouth.

"Not necessarily," he said, completely ignoring Vejita's outburst. "Usually the invading spirit is very distinct from its possessee. This feels very intergrated into him. We shall have to test this out."

With that, the nameck ripped the duck tape off of Vejita's mouth, pulling out all the hair that had been growing on his chin. Vejita swore outloud and yelled, "Dammit, NAMECK! Why did you put that THING on my mouth if you were just going to rip it off?!"

Piccolo said curtly, "To annoy you."

A nasty sneer came to the captive's face, especially since Vejita couldn't tell if the nameck was joking or not.

"Now tell me exactly who you are," Piccolo demanded.

The sneer grew worse. "Tch, Vegeta, king of all saiyajin."

Krillen blanched, "B-but I thought you were the prince."

"That's what I said," Vejita retorted without missing a beat. "Bejita, the prince of all saiyajin."

His two captors exchanged glances. "When's your birthday?" Krillen asked almost hesitantly.

"November 11, 704..." Then he frowned, a slight ache in his brain. "No, wait. It's June 14, 594."

"How can you be born two different times?" Piccolo demanded, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Vejita spat out, "How am I supposed to know?!"

"The dates you said were over 100 years apart."

Beads of cold sweat began to form on the prince-king's brow, as the headache grew worse. "S-So?!"

"A person can only be born once, right?"

Vejita gasped as the pounding in his head nearly sent him reeling. "Sh-SHUT UP!! SHUT UP YOU STUPID NAMECK!!" Another stab of pain, as agonizing as a knife to the head. "You're just trying to confuse me! Do you want my head to explode or something?!"

Piccolo nodded as if assenting to his own theory. Then he slapped yet another piece of duck tape onto Vejita's mouth. "What we have here," he said, turning back to his comrade in arms, "is an invading body with an identity crisis."

Krillen frowned at the struggling saiyajin, whose cursing was turned into angry buzzes. "What the heck does THAT mean?"

"The possessor think that he's both Bejita and Vegeta at the same time," the nameck explained.

"Wow," Krillen muttered. "So his head probably could explode if he thought about it for that long."

"I'm sure he conveniently forgot some things so that it wouldn't happen."

"So now what do we do with him?" the former monk asked in exasperation. "We can't just leave him super-glued to that chair."

Piccolo sighed and fished around in his clothes, producing a vial of slightly glowing clear liquid. "The best thing to do would be to douse him with holy water."

Vejita's eyes widened instantly, looking up at the nameck in alarm. The two words rang a bell in the back of his mind and he knew that this was NOT a good thing. _Dammit!! I have to get out of here!_ He didn't know what that stuff was, but he didn't want to stick around long enough to find out.

But how?! There was no way he could chant his way out of there, the stupid tape was stuck on his mouth, and the combination of rope, tape, and super-glue was surprisingly effective against saiyajin strength.

He had to do the old fashioned, 'Will-me-away'.

_GET ME OUT OF HERE! GET ME OUT OF HERE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!_ he cried desperately in his aching mind, encouraged when the air began to fizzle around him.

Krillen and Piccolo were too busy talking between themselves to notice the change, until a loud 'POP' brought the prisoner back to their attention...or...what was left of him...

* * *

Everything was dark. A mere void of pitch black about him, darker than the empty pits of space. No light, nothing at all, save for one small light as big as a pea, hanging like a delicate ornament right in front of his face. 

Bardock didn't know when he got here, or even how he got here, but all that mattered right now was how was he going to find a way out.

He was cold, and hungry, just sitting there and he couldn't sense any life around him at all in this infinite void, but that could just be a trick of a _chi_ dampener.

Maybe the Center had caught on to his plan to escape. Or maybe Willith got out of whatever punishment the Council put him in and then sent the dark angel over to this hell hole.

He figured he must have been knocked unconscious at one point, but he couldn't remember so it must have been drugs.

Bardock sighed discontentedly and poked the bead of light in front of him. It stayed static and felt freezing to the touch. He pulled his hand back and rubbed it where he touched the cold heat. It felt exactly like his halo.

"Odd," he mumbled to himself and ventured his finger out to touch it again. Still nothing. Cautiously, he made a fist about it, plunging himself into complete darkness and pulling it away from it's intangible suspension. He opened it at his chest where it twinkled at him as brightly as before. His halo and his ssj state did nothing to cast away the darkness. It was very odd.

A wave of cold passed over Bardock's body as he panicked, thinking that this could just be one of Furiza's 'solitary confinement' sessions. His hand shot to the back of his head and he desperately felt around to see if there was any difference.

No, no, it still had that scar and the slightly hollow dent of his skull. If there was anything new there he would feel it. He quickly ran his hand over the rest of his body.

No new scars, no strange bumps under his skin. So he resigned himself to the fact that this really was the work of the Center.

Bardock tossed the bead of light from one hand to the other, trying to get some feeling back into the numb hand that had been holding the freezing light.

He didn't know that the Center was capable of this sort of thing though.

While he was thinking, the bead hit the base of his hand and fell to the floor, rolling away before the dark angel could catch it. Bardock scrambled to his feet and tried to get a hold of it again before it went out of his line of sight, but it seemed to dart away from him every time he got close to it.

_What the heck's going on?_ he wondered, when the bead of light zipped away from him at a 90 degree angle.

Suddenly he tripped on the hem of his robe and he fell flat on his face. "......Ow..."

Bardock hissed as he quickly got up again, looking ahead for the light. Luckily it seemed to caught on something. Wincing, he walked over to it and kneeled by it to pick it up.

Everything froze when the back of his hand brushed against something fleshy...and as cold as ice.

Chills ran down his spine and he involuntarily jerked his hand back and he plucked up the light to hold it above whatever it was that he felt.

A horrible, sick feeling crawled through him, his body beginning to shake, yet all he knew was that something was extremely wrong.

It was when the light passes over a tiny hand caked in dried blood that the shaking became worse.

Bardock quickly shined the light over a measly thin arm to a bare bone body. A fatal _chi_ blast had taken most of the child's body, a large burned crater carved out of its flesh. The dark angel passed the light over the child's face.

_Oh my god..._ Bardock gasped harshly as a flash of recognition flew through his eyes. This child...he killed this child...

_I was on my first purge mission and made the incredibly stupid mistake of getting to know the sentient species before I killed them... This child, this girl was only three years younger than me. She thought I was her friend. She just laughed when I said I was going to kill her. _

Bardock ran his hand over her face forever fixed in that expression of shock when he did let loose the fatal attack. The dark angel shook like a leaf, barely able to hold onto that small bead of light, waves of nausea coursing through him.

_She only laughed!! I tried to show her I was serious! I threatened her, I blew up her house!! I wanted her to hate me before I killed her! I wanted to show her the monster that I was._

Slowly Bardock stood and began to walk away, a hollow pit of guilt forming in his gut.

_HAhahahahaHA!! Bardock-kun! You're so silly! Heeheehahaha!!_

He could suddenly recall her laughter, ringing in his mind, its resolution hitting that hollow pit inside of him, making it grow with every wondrous peal.

_Hahahaheehee!!_

Bardock ran. He tried to run from the guilt but it only hit him harder with every step he took. It hit him so hard that he felt breathless, his heart pounding with the heavy injuries.

He ran straight into a large cold matter, knocking him back to the floor. Gasping for breath, Bardock nearly threw the light up to see whatever he hit, but he only managed to see a torso half-hidden in the perpetual darkness so that it seemed suspended in midair.

It was dead, that much he could see, no life pumping through its veins. Its scaly flesh was covered with a strange pink silk like material and to his horror, it also rang a bell in his mind.

Suddenly it lunged for him and managed to grab a handful of white linen. Bardock instinctively tore away from it, kicking at its knee.

A menacing crack echoed through the void and the corpse toppled over on top of him, pinning him to the ground. The stench of death permeated in waves from the ghastly thing and Bardock scrambled to get out from under it.

As he struggled, panic forcing his heart to work as fast as the wings of a hummingbird, the corpse stirred once again and turned its waxy face to the saiyajin's, only mere inches away.

Bardock's heart froze in his chest. The Konossan!

"_Bardock..."_ it hissed throatily, its voice as quiet as the breeze.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Bardock screamed and desperately blasted the body away from him. It flew from him and landed with a sickening thud a few feet away.

Gasping for breath, Bardock stood to his feet, his legs unsteady as he waited in the darkness, hardly daring to even breathe, and he waited. Slowly his body began to shake again, and a low chuckle escaped from his lips which were drawn into a wry smile.

The void around him was as silent as death and he could still smell the reek of death on him.

The only sound in the whole area was the gasps of breath he took and the heavy pulse of his heart thrumming in his ears. The intensity of his breath was so loud in that overwhelming silence that he fought to hold it. He could do nothing with his heart that was hammering so hard he was sure anyone, even the dead, could hear it.

He let out another chuckle, his nerves rubbed raw. For the first time in a long time he was scared. In fact he was terrified!

A hollow wind passed by him, caressing his face and hands with the moans of a thousand voices, cursing his guilty name. And that stupid laughter!

_Hahahaheehaha!_

The void began to scho with the deafening sound of shuffling feet. Bardock felt his breath go heavy as he sensed thousands of the dead around him, surrounding him, moaning out his name with rotting breaths.

'_Baaardock...' _

'_loOk At uS, Baardock...'_

'_sEE whaT yOu haVe Done...'_

Bardock stood where he was, twisting around to see if he could find some path to escape. But he was surrounded for as far as he could sense.

The dead, the people he murdered were everywhere, all around him.

"So many..." he whispered under his breath, inaudible under the moans of his victims. The number was overwhelming.

He felt bile collect at the back of his throat as they called out for him and he could feel them closing in.

Then suddenly Bardock spotted tiny feet coming within range of the light. They...were skipping. "No, not you, too."

She was all smiles and dimples, the crater that was in her flesh was gone, as she looked alive. As bright and as cheery as the day he killed her.

Hands behind her back, playfully rocking to and fro on the balls of her heels, she smiled as if Bardock was her best friend in the world.

"_Bardock-kun, you wanna play war again?"_ Her voice echoed distantly, as if it weren't coming from her body.

"I'm not..." Bardock whispered, yet the child cut in, not really seeing the angel, or hearing him.

"_Heeheehaha!! You're so confident that you'll kill me, huh?"_

"Stop this." The angel's voice was cut into a desperate plea, his weak knees buckling and sending him to the floor.

"_What do you mean? For real? You're taking this game so seriously!" _

"It's not a game!!"

The girl's face contorted into one of shock. _"My house... Bardock! How could you do that! My mom's going to get so mad!"_

Bardock slowly shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes and looked down at this little child. "I wanted you to hate me..."

Suddenly, the child's eyes turned upwards, straight into the angel's. _"But I loved you instead. I wanted to marry you."_

"I know." Bardock's voice came out no louder than a whisper.

Unexpectedly, her cheeks began to sink, her eyes growing dead and hollow. _"And look at what you did in return!"_ she shrieked. The familiar crater began to form in her torso, eating away at her body.

She threw back her arms to the invisible army of the dead, her voice growing more menacing and vile by the second. _"Look at us, Bardock. And be judged by your own guilt!"_

Bardock pinched his eyes shut and yelled at the terrifying numbers. "I don't want to look!"

In his last act of desperation, he threw the bead of light as far as he could, plunging him into darkness. Then the dead descended upon him.

* * *

Nothing remained except for the rope, tape, and Vejita's clothes. 

Piccolo cursed under his breath, annoyed with this new turn of events. "Damn! I completely forgot about the demonic powers part!"

Krillen wrinkled his nose as he delicately picked up Vegeta's briefs by the hem with his thumb and forefinger. "Does that mean he's somewhere completely buck naked?"

"Probably," the nameck muttered, feeling a tad disgusted and sifted through the clothes. When he picked up Vegeta's pants, something heavy slid out of the pocket and clunked onto the seat of the chair.

It was a video tape.

Krillen picked it up, examining it. "Now what the heck is this?"

Meanwhile, Vejita, curiously enough, found himself in someone's bed. Luckily, no one was in it, seeing as Vejita managed to transport himself without clothes.

He blushed violently and gathered the blanket about himself. _How the heck did that happen?! and wow these sheets smell really nice._

His confusion turned to panic when he realized that his special tape wasn't with him anymore. _Oh NO! I have to find it before someone other than Kayka does!_

His panicked thoughts were redirected when he sensed someone just outside the door. _CRAP!_ As quickly as he could he slipped under the bed, sheets and all, and lay waiting to see who the someone was. When the door opened, the prince-king gave a mental sigh of relief, his panic flowing from him.

It was only Kakarotto.

_So that's why the sheets smell so nice. _"Salutations, Kayka."

Goku choked on the Gatorade she was drinking, blue raspberry rushing up her sinuses. She spluttered and looked around the room wildly. "Vegeta?! Where are you!"

Vejita muttered, "Just a sec," and snaked out of the bed, just barely getting the blanket and the sheets out with him.

Goku stared at him in confusion. "Uh... Vegeta, why were you under my bed?" That's when the blanket snagged onto a screw on the frame and the blanket slipped from Vejita's waist. Goku stared harder, looking even more lost than before. "Scratch that. Why were you under my bed naked?"

Desperately, Vejita raked his mind for an answer that actually sounded sane, but came up with a pitiful, "I have no idea."

Goku stared at him and stared some more. Suddenly she just smiled and said as cheerful as ever. "Well okay!" She turned her back on him and went over to her closet. "You can borrow my old clothes, but they might be a bit big."

Vejita stared longingly at her as she bent over to rummage through her things. "So why aren't you freaking about my nudity?" he mumbled out absently.

Goku threw a pair of old jeans at him. "I've seen you naked before. And even if I haven't, you don't have anything I haven't seen."

The prince-king's eyes lit up hopefully, "So...can I see you naked?"

All movement ceased, making Vejita extremely wary. Slowly, Goku stood back up, completely silent.

"Kayka?" Vejita said questioningly.

There was a long awkward pause.

Finally... "Who are you?" The younger saiyajin's voice came out as a hiss that sent cold chills up the prince-king's spine.

"W-what do you mean? You know who I am."

Goku looked back at him with shockingly cold eyes. "I'm starting to wonder. This morning you told me to go flaunt myself. I spent half the day in jail for "assaulting" a man who wanted to show me how to do just that and Tien had to bail me out. But that's besides the point."

Vejita frowned. "Huh?"

"You completely forgot about me!" Vejita sweatdropped. "You said you would see me in half an hour, but instead I spy you in some strip club, strip teasing yourself and _taping _it!!"

At that instant, Vegeta, who was watching everything with a horror gaped jaw, died- instantly, in a horrible burning death of embarrassment.

"What the hell is WRONG with you!! The Vegeta I know would never do anything like what you did!"

Vejita bristled, getting angry for reasons he couldn't comprehend. "The Vegeta you know?! He's such a wimp! Bending down before you like a meek little kitten! Too weak and afraid to get what he wants! Which is why he would never do something like this!"

He grabbed her by the arms and suddenly smashed his lips against hers, throwing her back against the closet. Vejita instantly reared back with a sharp cry when her skin burned him at the very touch, the air sizzling and crackling around her.

Goku's eyes narrowed menacingly and the sickly aura seemed to grow worse. "Get out of my room NOW!!"

Vejita stared at her from the vantage point of the ground. His eyes, too, narrowed menacingly and he silently stood to his feet, slipped the too-large jeans on, needing to hold them up by the hem of his waist. Looking back at her again, his lips drew into a disgusted sneer. "Mark my words, Kakarotto. I always get what I want."

Then with an instinctive swirl of his nonexistent cape, he stormed out her room, slamming the door behind him.

Goku stared at the door, her eyes no longer narrow and she wearily slumped onto her bed. "Kami, Vegeta, I want the regular you back."

* * *

Bulma and Bunni paused the flower arranging stage of their war long enough to watch Vejita warily as he stalked by them in the hallway. The fury around him was hot enough to wilt the very flowers in their hands and they silently scrunched up against the wall to let him pass. 

Thye didn't know why he was so angry and they didn't want to know. They merely let him pass.

Vejita stalked by them, not even noticing the two as he went by. His thoughts went around in circles and hissed violent curses under his breath. His thoughts were completely insane, driven by his son's pent up frustration and passion for the younger saiyajin. He was on the verge of a breakdown and it did not look pretty.

"That- little _ho_! How dare she do that to me!" he hissed venomously. "Forget the damned mating rituals, I'll force her to be mine! She'll be my property and I can do whatever I want with her! I'll show her! I'll show that Kakarotto!"

He went back to Vegeta's room and went straight to the dresser, where he began to rip the drawers out of their places and throwing them onto the floor. His eyes were very aware, scanning everything that passed through his hands. When that was done he stormed to the closet, throwing everything violently to the floor, breaking anything fragile that was in there.

Then he raided the rest of the room, throwing everything carelessly to the floor, until he suddenly paused while searching under the bed. Vegeta had a hidden drawer in his bedside table...

Vejita was at it immediately, this time carefully taking the drawer out and scanning the contents. His eyes widened in recognition at one small object and he delicately took it out to look at on the bed.

It was a vial of crimson liquid. Ruby's bonding potion...

A terrible, disgusting smile snaked its way onto Vejita's face, twisting it into mutated laughter. The sick and ugly peals rang throughout the room and Vejita held the vial tightly against his chest as if it were worth his own life. "Kakarotto...you are mine..."

* * *

The offending angel was tied down to one of the Center's metal tables, which was placed in General Mac's private office. The angel was completely out, mouth drawn open in its stupor and its eyes would probably be rolled up into its head. 

The device that kept anyone from seeing its eyes was securely snug around his head, bits of wire snaking into the brain from the optical nerves.

It was a very neat job and the general congratulated himself for it. He grinned even wider when Bardock began to scream.

"The job should be done in about four days," he declared hautily to the only other two people in the room. His personal assistants, who were working the device, looked completely disgusted by what they saw from the small projector.

The smaller one glared up at the general, "You call this a job?! This is TORTURE!"

General Mac raised an eyebrow, "Torture? I think not. It's poetic justice."

The small one burst out hotly, "It's inhumane! He's not guilty of those murders! He was forced to do those things by Furiza! He renounced that icejin along with all the things he did for him! He's already repented!"

General Mac ground his cigar between his teeth, disgusting the assistants with the spittle mix of tobacco and saliva. "Did he specifically say he was sorry for what he did?"

The small alien stayed silent, though he felt hot enough to burst. The general sneered, "I didn't think so. Another word of objection out of you and I'll have you court-martialed."

The small one replied resignedly, "Yes sir."

General Mac nodding, putting his pudgy hands behind his back, "Good. Now just make sure that he doesn't escape the binding and try to rip his own wings off." Both assistants stared. "It's happened sometimes," the general explained with a shrug.

With that, he left the room, while the two saluted his exit. The small one's co-worker, a rather greasy looking reptilian, settled into his seat and muttered, "Well, that was smart- getting' on the general's bad side."

The smaller assistant merely glanced at the screen again and sighed. "I need to take a break."

The reptile shrugged, "Sure, go cool off. I can watch'm."

The brown puff of an alien went outside without another word and strolled down the Center's corridors. Every so often he could head the crazy laughter of some of the captives, making him shiver in disgust and pity.

He made his way out into the sun and leaned on one of the trees nearby the compound to get into the shade. After a few minutes of pondering, he looked about to see if anyone was around. Then he ducked a hand into a bush. A walky-talky emerged from the shrub and he hastily turned it on. "Eagle's Peak, Eagle's Peak, this is Crow- over."

A static reply came almost instantly. "Crow, we read you loud and clear- over."

"We have a situation code blue. Operation Tortoise is well underway- over."

"Roger, we will initiate Operation Fisher at 2400 hours. Meet Liners at Lakeside. Eagle's Peak out- over."

"Roger, Crow out- over."

* * *

Meanwhile... Krillen and Piccolo stared at the blue TV screen in horror. The tape had long since run out, yet the images that were shown in it will be forever branded into their minds. 

"P-Piccolo?" the former monk said hesitantly, after a good long 20 minutes.

"Just don't talk to me."

* * *

Miyanon: Yay! I'm done! Finally! And it was mainly because somebody threatened me with a hex if I didn't finish it by September 13... Okay, maybe not a hex exactly, but it was threatenish-like. 

Bardock: ......You made me look like a SISSY...

Bejita: ....You made ME look like a psycho!!

Miyanon: Uh....I'll chat later! Thanks for all the reviews! Bye! _-zips away-_

B&B: COME BACK HERE!!!


	25. Rebellion

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.

* * *

Miyanon: -_sigh-_ This is taking far, far, far too long to update.

Bardock: Who's fault would that be?

Miyanon: -_huffs-_ It's not my fault that I swore an oath not to do any writing until my college applications are done!

Bardock: ...Wait a sec! Yes it is!

Miyanon: Well, it was a good reason!

Bejita: And your applications are done, right?

Miyanon: -_meekly-_ No?

B&B: -_eyes her and then shoves her away-_ Get to work!

_Two weeks later..._

Miyanon: Yes! I'm done! It's done! I'm done! No more applications! Yay!

Bardock: -_dryly-_ Good for you. NOW are you going to get busy?

Miyanon: Yes, but just a sec. To the readers, reviewers, etc. Thank you for waiting for so long while I've been so busy! So thank you! And now-

Bejita: I'm introducing! -c_oughs- _And now, on with-!

Miyanon: Oh! By the way, some of you may recognize the workings of Vegeta's inner mind from my other story, Incidences of Madness. I apologize for dragging characters from a different story into this, but I had to do it. For some reason I just like those guys. Plus I wanted to give Vegeta more to do.

Bejita: AHEM! I was introducing the story here!

Miyanon: Sorry.

Bardock: And now, on with the story!

Bejita: Hey!

* * *

Vegeta angrily paced his own mind, shaking in fury at the thought that his father would- that he- He screamed out in frustration, metaphysically kicking at the non-existent floor. "WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!" How could he have been so dumb as to not have gotten rid of that vial of bonding potion!

Oh wait, if he dumped it then it would contaminate the water systems.

But couldn't he have destroyed it?!

No, because it was magical potion and was impossible to evaporate or disintegrate.

"_But- but then why did I have to hide it in such an easily accessible place?!"_

"_Accessible?! It was in my super secret drawer that I didn't even tell Bulma about!"_

Vegeta freezes completely and looks around him. _"Ookay...those last two arguments did not come from my mouth."_

"Who said that?!" the prince demands, trying to peer through the darkness.

"_Is there somebody else here besides me?!"_ Came a voice out of the dark.

Vegeta sat still, looking around himself wildly. "This is really freaking me out."

A voice suddenly popped up behind him. _"R-really? It's freaking me out t-too."_

Slowly, the prince turned around, only to come face to face with himself. "AACK!!" he shrieked right at the same time that his double did. "WHO ARE YOU?!"

His double smiled nervously, looking very twitchy in fact. _"H-Hi, I'm you. W-well, kind of. I'm Fear. I-it's nice to meet you and please don't hurt me."_

Vegeta stared at him in horror. _"What the hell?!"_

He whipped around again, he and Fear demanding simultaneously, "Who said that?!"

As if coming out from a black fog, yet another double appeared. However there is a much, much different aura over this one, completely dressed in black garb. _"Who's asking?"_ this new, smug and sneering double asked.

Fear smiled, _"Oh! T-that's Disgust!"_ He leaned down and whispered into Vegeta's ear, _"He's not really nice. P-puts down everything he sees."_

Disgust snorted and glared down at the cowering Fear. _"What are you still doing here, you filthy coward?"_

"_W-well, Vegeta's phobias are still very l-large."_ Fear answered quickly, obviously afraid of some sort of attack by Disgust. _"I mean, worms and claustrophobia, th-those are still pretty big. And you know I really think that this new phobia's d-developing because of this K-Kayka and-"_

"Will you shut up?!" Vegeta and Disgust yell at the same time.

Disgust glared down at the newcomer, _"And who the hell are you?"_

"_He's Vegeta! The Prince of all Saiyajin!"_ answered someone else.

Vegeta's head whipped around once more. "I am really, really getting sick of this."

Disgust's eyes widened in surprise. _"Pride?! You traitor! What are you doing defending somebody against me!"_

Vegeta peered in his direction, suddenly awed by yet another double. He was tall, and had a sense of infinite cockiness rolling off it in waves, fully decked in traditional ceremonial armor, pulling up a smirk exactly like the one that Vegeta always favored. Pride looked down at him, smirking and nodded. _"It's good to see you for the first time, your highness." _

"_His high...You must be joking!"_ Disgust yelled. _"This little shrimp?!"_

Before Vegeta could retaliate, Pride rushed at Disgust and gave him a crushing blow to the face. _"How dare you say that?!"_

"_Get out of my sight!"_ Disgust yelled back, covering his wound. However, he slowly slinked off into the darkness.

Fear shivered, _"It's never p-pretty when two dominants fight with each other. U-usually those two work hand in hand th-though."_

Pride sighed and from behind him another double appeared looking almost exactly like Pride's double, if a little smaller. He nudged Fear away. _"Leave. You're making a bad impression."_

The meager, stuttering double merely shivered and faded away.

Pride dusted himself off and nodded towards the new one. _"This is Dignity. He's a very good friend of mine."_

Dignity smiled and bowed to Vegeta, _"It is an honor to meet you, your highness."_

Vegeta stared at them, confused beyond words. Almost instantly yet another double arrived, voicing out, _"What the hell is going on?!" _

Dignity pushed him away, while Pride said quickly. _"Calm down! You definitely don't want Panic and Confusion showing up!"_

"You're going to have to answer me quickly then!" Vegeta snapped angrily. _"Who are you?!"_

Pride and Dignity's eyes widened. _"Crap!"_ Instantly, they grabbed Vegeta by the arms and stole him away into the darkness. Almost immediately, Vegeta felt a cold rush come over him and the darkness suddenly became clear, full of multiple doubles, interacting with each other, arguing, laughing, more arguing. Even some drinking. It was like a city full of him.

"Holy crap, where is all this?" Vegeta wondered out loud.

Pride put a gloved hand over his mouth and whispered. _"Quiet. You don't want to attract the attention of the Enforcers."_

"_Enforcers?"_ came a voice from behind them shocking Vegeta once more, along with another familiar face.

"_H-hello again,"_ Fear stuttered, weakly waving at them.

"_Question! Fear! Get out of here! You're attracting attention!"_ Dignity snapped, pushing them away. _"But to answer this guy, we have no idea who these Enforcers are. They're a foreign body that have been restricting the movements of all your emotions and interesting bits . They came around a while ago. But the most disturbing thing is that Action is missing! This is major! He's the one that controls everything you do! He went missing about a day ago, the same time these enforcers came."_

"_That's when I became possessed!"_ yelled yet another double.

Pride growled at Vegeta, shoving this new one away. _"Stop thinking!"_

"_I can't help it!"_ Dignity growled. Instantly a hand went to his mouth and he said sheepishly. _"Sorry."_

Pride glared at him and then sighed. _"Suspicion figured that something was up and that it was possible that you weren't in control of your body anymore. Normally we don't listen to him, but then Sense agreed with him. That meant one place in Mind where you could have been. Ingenuity made a temporary fissure to open the portal to your prison and Dignity and I came to rescue you."_

"_You need to keep a low profile until we get to your mental blocks,"_ Dignity whispered. _"Thank the gods you put so many up. It's the only area that the Enforcers have no control over."_

Vegeta stared at them, blinked and then stared at them longer. "Okay," he squeaked. "I have just determined that I am completely insane." Of course, Fear showed up once more, giving them another nervous wave.

Pride and Dignity glanced at each other, shook their heads and dragged Vegeta over through the crowd.

* * *

Piccolo and Krillen glared at Vejita from over the top of the couch. "He's planning something," the nameck growled suspiciously. "He's had that twisted smile on his face ever since yesterday."

Krillen shudders, "I hope that it has nothing to do with that..." He didn't have the strength to even mention the terrifying display that he and Piccolo both witnessed. If it was up to him, he'd never even think about it ever again.

"I fear that it may have something to do with Son."

"Goku?!" Krillen nearly yelped. "Are you sure?"

"The two of them have been very tense since this morning," Piccolo replied, turning to his fellow conspirer. "Something may have happened last night after the prick disappeared."

The former monk glared at the back of Vejita's neck. "If he did anything to Goku that was similar to that-"

"Cool it. You're forgetting who you're talking about." Piccolo pulled Krillen back into their hiding spot in the living room. "Goku can take care of himself, but we should probably make sure that he knows about Vegeta's condition."

"Right," Krillen muttered and they slinked off to find their companion.

Vejita watched them go from the mirror above the dresser, taking a swig of brandy from the bottle. Did they really think that he didn't know they were there. Ignorant fools. He didn't survive nearly 35 assassination attempts by Furiza and his own just to be duped by a couple of espionage wannabes. Plus they had to pay for trying to pull over one on him last night.

Slamming down the bottle, and leaning over the dresser he debated exactly what he was going to do about them. He couldn't just let this go. No one could get away with screwing over Bejita, the king of the saiyajin. Especially not a nauseatingly peace-loving green turd and a weak nose-less freak.

As far as he could tell though, he was completely alone in this...place. It was as if he were slowly waking, becoming more aware, more himself, more like the ruthless bastard he knew he was. Smirking, he grabbed the bottle of brandy again and then started back to his designated room.

After quickly assessing the situation, he figured that he could probably have the entire planet under his control in a matter of weeks. The only one that would be in his way is the one that he's soon going to have under his complete control. But now?

He had some busybody pests to take care of.

* * *

Wearily, two midnight black eyes opened to a luscious red sky. Their owner groaned and shook his head to clear its thoughts. "Where am I?" he wondered out loud.

"You're in my haven," came an unexpected answer. "You're safe now."

Immediately Bardock's head whipped up and took an instant ground on his bearings. Okay, he was in a room, a very nicely decorated bedroom that frankly looked like belonged in the Royal Palace on Bejito-sei, laying on top of a plush canopy bed. And he had a visitor, staring at him from the small lover's seat by the foot of the bed.

The dark angel's eyes widened as he took in the 'visitor'. What struck him first was the inhumanly good looks, long silky ebony hair and cold onyx eyes. But then he saw the person was sporting three pairs of pure black wings.

"Wow," he muttered weakly. Yet the dark angel could feel that there was something not quite right about this...black decked being.

The black angel smirked and rose, coming to the side of the bed. "It's good to see that your mental health is still well even after your long torture session in the Special Center."

"And you might be..." Bardock asked, rising to a sitting position.

"Oh, excuse me," the black angel said quickly. "The name is Ryushifa, but you may call me Ryu. I'm the one that organized your rescue."

"Oh?" Bardock said quickly. "Well, I'm grateful, Ryu, but it seems like you would want something in return."

Suddenly, Ryushifa broke into a hearty laugh. "I like that," he said after reducing his laughs to chuckles. "You're straight to the point."

"Very well," he said, sitting down on the satin sheets next to his 'guest'. "I came to give you an offer, saiyajin. You see," his black eyes grew darker, almost malicious, and he began to inspect his rather sharp nails, "I know all about you and I know about all the problems that are going on in your...afterlife right now."

"I understand that you have a daughter now." Ryushifa said with a wicked grin, sending chills down Bardock's spine. "You don't want anything to happen to her, do you?"

"Is that a threat?" Bardock demanded.

The black angel scoffed at the notion, "Oh please! She has enough trouble of her own to get her in some serious hell hole. I am merely offering to take away that simple threat."

"My daughter can take care of herself," Bardock replied darkly.

That nasty grin again. "You think so? Maybe I should mention that her trouble seems to be coming from a friend of yours. And I mean your actual friend, not an acquaintance."

The dark angel's eyes widened considerably. "Bejita? What has he done?!"

"He's been revived in his son's body it seems," Ryushifa continued in an antagonizingly slow manner. "He's going back to his pre-mortal dark ways, planning to take over your daughter's planet with her as his unwilling concubine. Meanwhile, his soul mate is slowly withering away into non-existence from complete neglect."

Bardock stared at his words in horror, his mind rebelling against the news. "You're lying."

"I don't lie," Ryushifa said flatly. "I'm incapable of it. So when I say that I can fix it all to the specifications you want, it's true."

"What is it that you want in return?" Bardock growled. Yes, he could definitely tell this guy was bad news.

"Nothing much," the black angel replied slyly, going back to inspecting his claws. "I just want to fulfill a fantasy that you've been dreaming about for a very long time. And I want you at my side to help me while I do it."

"I reiterate. What do you want?"

Ryushifa slowly turned to him, giving him his undivided attention as a cocky smirk came to his lips. "I'm planning the complete overthrow of the Angel's Council and all the workings of Heaven."

* * *

Pride and Dignity quickly dragged their safeguard past the senses of the Enforcers, following quickly behind Fear as he led them towards the mental barriers. To his credit, Fear happened to be very good at sneaking around.

Dignity snorted almost irritably at the situation though. _"I don't believe this,"_ he sneered. _"Who knew we'd see the day when Pride and Dignity slink around with a little titch like Fear?"_

"_How's the prince?"_ Pride asked, not looking back at Dignity's cargo.

"_Passed out a while ago. Honestly, he should have a bit more-"_

"_Dignity?"_ Pride grinned. _"It's too much for anyone to take in all at once, you know. If he, the prince of all saiyajin, passes out at something, it's likely that everyone else would do the same in this situation. Or worse."_

"_You know, it's a very rare thing when we disagree on something,"_ Dignity muttered.

Pride shushed him as they came right up next to the metallic crystal blockade that Vegeta had set up long, long ago and had repeatedly reinforced it for years afterwards. _"His mental capacity is amazing isn't it?"_ he said proudly.

Fear put a finger to his lips. _"Q-quiet! Do you want the Enforcers to hear?!"_

The three of them peered over their small blockade, hiding them from a troop of Enforcers. Completely black ethereal beings that floated around in incorporate masses. They looked harmless enough, but all three of them knew their danger. Especially after seeing what they did to Foolishness. Slowly, the Enforcers drifted away.

"_Okay!"_ Fear tittered nervously. _"Now let's get going!" _

They swiftly crossed the open area and then came to the wall. Dignity frowned, looking up at the monstrously large wall, _"Isn't there an easier way to get through this?"_

"_Actually,"_ Pride answered, _"there is."_ He grabbed his unconscious ward and pressed his hand against the barrier, only to have Vegeta's hand slip through as if the barrier were made of air. _"Hang on and let's go."_ Fear and Dignity took hold and with one large bound, all three of them slipped through, entering a large crystal-like cavern.

Dignity gave an immediate sigh of relief and said, "_Thank the gods. I was worried there for a moment."_ He glanced over at Fear's smug expression. _"Stop that!"_

"_Sorry!"_ Fear yelped.

"_It's good to see you back,"_ came a voice from further down the cavern. Sense and Suspicion strode up to the three and eyed the package on Pride's shoulders. Sense stared at him in awe, _"Hey, is that really..."_

"_That it is,"_ Pride answered smugly. _"The prince himself, in the flesh."_

Suspicion frowned, _"Why's he unconscious?"_

"_Never mind that,"_ Dignity answered quickly. _"We need to get him to Judge and the others."_

Then Suspicion's eyes turned on Fear, _"And what's he doing here?"_

Fear was shaking as he stared at his surroundings with wavering eyes. _"We're in an enclosed space. I d-don't like enclosed spaces..."_

Pride sighed and dropped Vegeta into Fear's arms. _"Don't worry about him, Suspy. He's just our personal lackey."_

"_N-no! Don't leave the prince with me!"_ Fear cried out. _"What if I drop him?!"_

"_Don't,"_ Pride answered.

"_You're just making this more demeaning for his highness!"_ Dignity huffed indignantly.

Sense glared at them all_. "We don't have time for this! We need to hurry and meet with the others!"_ Then he took off, hurriedly walking to their more secure base.

Pride quickly matched his stride. _"Do we have any more dominants?"_

Sense nodded, _"Yes, fortunately. Charisma, thank the gods for him, was able to bring in Passion and Courage and worked them to our side."_

"_What about Rage?"_ Pride demanded. "_You know that we need him!"_

"_Yes, I know,"_ Sense said with a glare at Pride. _"But it's already a miracle we've managed to gather most of the dominants without Action around. Besides," he said in a low voice, "you know what Rage is like. He's likely to already be..." _Sense let the idea hang gloomily over them.

"_Well, that won't matter!"_ Pride said, trying to lift the mood. _"We have the prince on our side! The source of all the dominants!" _At which point Vegeta groaned, slipping in and out of consciousness_. "Speak of the devil,"_ Pride grinned. He stood Fear still and pulled Vegeta to his feet, lightly slapping him in the face. _"Hey, time to wake up, your highness." _

Vegeta winced as he forced his eyes open, coming face to face with Pride. "AHH!" he and Fear shrieked at the same time, falling down to his butt. Taking a quick moment to get a hold of his bearing, the prince immediately let out a long moan. "Oh Gods, don't tell me I'm still stuck in this loony land."

"_I resent that!"_ Dignity declared.

"Well if you could just tell me what the hell is going on!" Vegeta grated out angrily. _"I'm sick of being kept in the dark here! And you pricks kidnapped me!"_

Vegeta sweatdropped as yet more doubles of him appeared out of nowhere.

"_Hey! It's Anger and Rage! Thanks a lot, your highness!"_ Pride declared happily.

"_I still demand to know what you want me for!"_ Anger demanded for Vegeta's sake.

Sense rubbed his chin and waved Vegeta over, _"Walk with me, your highness."_

"_I'm not walking with you anywhere!"_ Anger yelled, only to slightly deflate when Vegeta actually did start walking by Sense's side.

"_Prince Vegeta, we, the inner workings of your mind desperately need your help to restore this god-awful situation to the previous status quo." _Vegeta nodded for him to continue. _"And we also believe that this will greatly benefit you as, of course, you want to get your body back, right?"_

"_Of course!"_ Dignity answered for him quickly. He slapped his hand over his mouth again. _"How does he do that?!"_

Sense smirked, glad that he wasn't as affected by Vegeta's mental outbursts as Anger and Dignity were_. "Your highness, we have gather all the dominants of Mind, thanks to your unwitting work. What we need is someone to lead us to rebel against the Enforcers and to rescue Action, who we believe has been kidnapped by the leader of this foreign invasion."_

"_Prince Vegeta,"_ Sense said solemnly, _"you are the only one that can actually stand up to the Enforcers. They won't be able to touch you."_

"_So you want me to clear the way for you so that you can rescue Action,"_ Clarity said out of nowhere.

Sense nodded, _"Exactly! Thank you so much for aiding your servants like this!"_

"_But I didn't say anything!"_ Dignity huffed out. Instantly he yelled at Vegeta_, "Will you please stop doing that, your highness!" _

Vegeta merely shook his head. "I've gone completely insane. I just know it."

* * *

Bejita: ...I wasn't that much of a bad-ass when I was alive!

Bardock: Of course you weren't Beets.

Bejita: -glare- You're being sarcastic, aren't you?

Bardock: Well, I'm more worried about this angel-devil thank you very much!

Bejita: Miya, this IS supposed to be a romantic comedy isn't it?! Where's the mushy stuff?!

Miyanon: Just be patient! I'm trying to build up the plot and the angst!

Bardock: Well just don't forget what kind of story this is!

Miyanon: Hey! You're just peeved because Ryushifa has a one up on you! And Bejita's mad because he's mean!

Bejita: It's unrealistic!

Miyanon: Oh PLEASE. Anyway, I'm so glad that I finally got this chapter up! It's the first time that I've had time to actually write for a long time. I can't talk for much longer because I have a bunch of homework to do. So I hope you enjoyed this latest installment of Onnafied! Next up: You finally find out what Kayka means!

Bardock: I think people forgot about that already.

Miyanon: Oh shoot.


	26. Crystal

Don't own it, never will.

Miyanon: Hey guys, I'm finally back! Well, not really, but I do have another chapter for you guys to enjoy! B&B are kind of indisposed at the moment…because they're on strike at the current situation…even though I keep telling them that the dang story's not going to end like this! So I have another famous pair to join us! Trunks and Goten!

Trunks: …………

Goten: ………Why did you turn my dad into a lady?

Trunks: Because she's stupid that's why.

Miyanon: ……Uh……Rrright. Let's get on with the story shall we?

* * *

"_Alright, this is how it's going to work…"_ Sense said, pushing out a map in front of the congregation of Vegeta's emotions and the prince himself. _"Here's our base as it is,"_ he pointed to the large barrier surrounding Vegeta's innermost secrets. _"Now over in the Center,"_ he pointed to the large temple-like structure, the furthest away from the barrier, "_is where Suspicion suspects that Action is being held._"

"_What we need you to do, your highness, is to clear away the enforcers,"_ Pride added with a smirk. _"All you really have to do is just blast them and that will get rid of them for sure."_

"Are you really so sure about that?" Vegeta demanded, looking over the vast numbers of enforcers that were drawn over the map.

The congregation was silent.

"That is just so VERY reassuring," the prince growled standing up, and dusting off the light blue sands from his spandex. "But seeing as there really isn't any other plan, let's just do it."

The congregation cheered, while Vegeta could only shake his head and groan.

Soon, in fact too soon actually, the prince found himself outside the barrier at the head of his small reserves of emotions; Rage, Anger, Pride, Dignity, Fear, Suspicion, Judgment, Charisma, Passion, Courage and of course Sense.

And this was up against the thousands of Enforcers that had congregated to the very area that they had seen the renegades creep in.

"……Are you sure that this is going to work?" Vegeta asked once more, his eyes wide as he stared at the thousands.

"_Your highness, you only need to just shoot them to find out!"_ Sense hissed from his right, starting to get very annoyed by all the questions.

The prince sighed and held up his hand, focusing his ki for his favorite attack. Feeling the blue ki, hone in on his palms, he let loose, screaming out "Bigu Ban Attaku!" The massive rush of energy flew from his hands, heading straight through the crowd of Enforcers. The silent orbs of darkness didn't even make a sound as the ki incinerated them into oblivion. When the ki dissipated more than half of the Enforcers were gone.

"_HA! I told you you could do it!"_ Pride clipped, feeling all his gusto returning.

Suddenly, there was a loud **POP** and an Enforcer suddenly appeared, followed by another **POP** and another and another, until after a sound-fest of **POP**s the army of Enforcers had returned to full force with reinforcements it looked like.

The congregation of Vegeta's emotions could only stare on in shock. Sense coughed into his fist and said rather weakly, _"Well…this was very…unexpected."_

Well…they found themselves at the Center just fine after that…in shackles and chains. It took about twelve Enforcers to keep Vegeta completely pinned and he struggled with all his might to free himself as they carried him over to the temple structure where their leader dwelled. Rage, Anger, and Dignity were all struggling violently, while Pride seethed, and Sense and Judgment were reserved and watchful, and Suspicion filled poor Fear's head up with a bunch of hoo-hah about sacrifice.

Nearly taking forever to clamber up the temple steps, the group finally reached the top and surprisingly was let out of their chains before the empty throne. The room they were in was massive, the stone walls grandiose and decorated with vast amounts of saiyajin lettering. But something was wrong; the walls were not as bright, not as beautiful. There was a deep darkness overhanging the structure, like some perversion that didn't belong. Even Vegeta, who hadn't even seen what the temple was like before, could tell that this was not what it was supposed to be like.

"**So…you're the pathetic little group that actually took out some of my Enforcers?"** came the booming voice, echoing from the empty throne. Like some denizen of hell summoned, Bejita's doppelganger suddenly appeared in a burst of flame, smirking as he sat languidly in the throne.

"_What did you do with Action!"_ Pride screamed out, advancing on the throne.

"**Oh? You don't recognize me?"** the Bejita double smiled sweetly. **"You and Sense were always fighting to get control of me…"**

Pride frowned for a moment, discerning the double, but then suddenly reared back in horror, putting on a face very much like the horrified one that Sense and Judgment were wearing. _"Oh Gods…"_ he whispered, no louder than a mouse.

"Wait- What?" Vegeta looked about the group confused. What exactly was going on here!

"**Who is this?"** the double demanded.

"_No one,"_ Sense answered, standing protectively in front of the confused prince.

"**I sincerely doubt that,"** the throned one sneered and pushed Sense away from him to stand in front of Vegeta. He studied him for a moment, but then suddenly cursed out loud, his eyes wide in shock. **"You brought HIM here! How the hell did you manage to do that!"**

"_None of your business you traitor!"_ Pride replied, seething. _"Your business is with us and only us!"_

"**Anything that concerns him, concerns me,"** the doppelganger growled. He turned on the prince and said, **"I'll just store you for safekeeping while I work out some…issues with these old pals of mine."** Then with a flick of his wrist, Vegeta disappeared.

…Only to reappear in complete darkness, exactly like the prison he was trapped in before, with one very critical difference… He could not see anything…

His heart hammering in his throat, Vegeta tried and failed to discern his surroundings, finding himself just as lost as before. He had the terrible sinking feeling that he was far, far worse off than before and he cursed his own accursed mind for getting him into such an awful mess.

It was hopeless. There was no way that he could ever regain control of his body now. Or even save Kakarot. He could do NOTHING! Frustrated by his own helplessness, he roared into the darkness and pounded the black ground with his invisible hands, shuddering as he fought to regain control of himself. It was all in the hands of the gods now… He only had to rely on fate…

…But it didn't hurt to…let the gods know of the situation. Sheesh, he hadn't prayed in so long, he nearly forgot all the words to the prayer already. Sighing in resignation, Vegeta sat up, cross-legged and centered his ki to his karmic point, chanting the prayer, hoping, just hoping that the gods will hear it.

* * *

"What's wrong with Ruby!" came the screech from the doorway. Raditsu and Aleria looked up from the queen's sickbed, only to see a rather familiar figure in the doorway.

"Mom!" Raditsu yelped in surprise, "you know the queen!"

Celipa waved the thought away dismissively. "Of course I know the queen! We're great friends! So tell me what the hell is wrong with her!"

"But, Mom, have you seen Dad anywhere? I haven't seen him since-"

"Pssh," the low class saiyajin snorted. "That lousy bum? He's up in Heaven getting drunk all the time!"

Raditsu blinked in shock, while Aleria pulled his mother over by the bed. "She's not doing well. She's been…she's been blinking…"

"Blinking?" Celipa echoed, staring at the queen in confusion. Oh Gods, she looked absolutely awful, her face drawn and clammy, an immeasurable amount of tiredness sketched into her features. Suddenly, the queen blinked. Not that she blinked her eyes, oh no… She blinked in and out of the plane of existence.

Shrieking in horror, Celipa reeled back from the bed, nearly crashing into the wall of bookcases behind her. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER!"

Aleria bit her lip, looking on Ruby anxiously. "Do you know how a soulmate dies if she's been forgotten by her other half?" Celipa nodded, staring at the queen with the widest set of eyes she had. "Well…" the nurse continued, "she's already dead…so where else is there for her soul to go?"

"Oblivion…" Celipa whispered, barely breathing out the word. No one could say a word for a very long time, letting the doom of the news settle in on all of them. Then the third class woman began to get angry, fisting her hands until her knuckles were a deathly white. "That bastard forgot her! He forgot her completely! And now look at where she is! And what for! So that he can die too! I don't understand it!"

"What can we do?" Aleria whispered. "We've already searched all of HFIL for Bejita, but it's to no avail, we haven't seen him anywhere."

"We'll get everyone to look for him then!" Celipa declared. "We're bound to find him if all of us go out and search for him!"

Raditsu snorted, gaining a look of disapproval from his mother. "Fat chance. I already tried."

His mother only smirked and headed to the door, waving to the two of them. "Keep me posted will you?" Then she left.

Aleria and Raditsu looked at each other and could only shrug. Ruby blinked again.

* * *

The room seemed to spin as Bardock watched the unholy events of a soulmate forgotten. "Oh Gods…" he whispered, staring at the crystal ball that Ryushifa had provided for him. The black angel only smiled as he watched the saiyajin's expression with the terrifyingly smug look of someone who has all the pieces falling into his hands.

"See, little angel? Your queen is going to disappear with your king right after her if you don't do something about this…"

His tail lashing angrily, Bardock glared hatefully at the black being. "You- you did something to start this didn't you!"

Ryushifa let out a short harsh laugh, looking amused by the retort. "Oh please, none of this would have started if you hadn't peeked into the forbidden files in the first place. All the consequences of that action are entirely your fault. Now it's up to you to fix it…one way or another…" he hissed, almost threateningly.

Shaking his head, the saiyajin backed away from Ryushifa, his lip curling in disgust. "By committing mass homicide of the entire population of Heaven!"

"What?" the black angel said in genuine surprise. "It's not like you haven't done it before."

Bardock felt a stab of guilt wrench at him, the vision of the little girl suddenly flashing before his eyes. "I…have renounced that act… Besides, Ruby and Bejita would never want me to join with you, even if it costs them their own lives."

"Even if it costs them their own existence?" Ryushifa purred, inspecting his claws.

The saiyajin said nothing.

"But you haven't even seen what's been happening to your daughter." Bardock stiffened at her mention. "Don't you want to see what sort of mortal peril she's in before you make such a…hasty decision?"

Again, nothing.

Ryushifa could only grin, as he pulled Bardock over to the bed, over in front of the crystal ball again. The saiyajin could only watch in rapt fascination as the scene turned from the fiery depths of hell to a cold, dark and rainy day.

* * *

The day was dark and moldy yellow as rain poured from the heavens and lightning and thunder battled overhead. In the unnatural darkness, the city was blacker than the night for the lights didn't come on for another six hours. Goku could only stare at the rain droplets that ran down the windows, streaking the purple clouded and yellow skied city.

Roaring its fury, the thunder shook the very foundations of the earth, while the lightning had in its vengeance had already taken care of the electricity. Sitting cross-legged on the bed, watching the darkness, Goku could only feel a sense of helpless despair well up in her.

Normally she was comforted by the rain, but in this day as dark as night, only ill could come of it.

"Hello Kayka."

The lightning flashed.

Goku shot up and turned to look at the intruder. "Vegeta?" Even as the word came from her mouth, Goku knew that it wasn't right. Peering into his narrow slits for eyes, half hidden in the darkness, Goku knew that this was not her Vegeta.

"Lady Kayka, you are entirely mistaken," the intruder's voice came out smooth, instead of the prince's usual gravel. He stepped up to the bed, into the mellow moldy light, a dangerous, hideous smirk upon his lips, the exact one, Goku realized as she grew colder, that Vegeta wore the very first day he came to Earth.

"The name is Bejita. Saiyajin no ou."

The thunder roared.

Silently, the younger saiyajin assessed him, becoming more anxious as she noticed the disturbing changes. He was taller, much, much more arrogant, cruel, and he sported a small but very well defined goatee. This was not her Vegeta at all. "What have you done with Vegeta?" she demanded, raising up her fists threateningly. "Tell me or I'll-"

"I don't think that you want to do that, Kayka," Bejita cut in, his voice almost drawling.

Somehow the name just sounded wrong from him! Like it didn't belong there. "Stop calling me that!" Goku yelled, pulling herself straight into an offense stance, balancing herself on top of the bed.

The king smirked, still staying in his cocky stance. "What's the matter? It's such a sweet name for a girl like you. Crystal…It could mean a number of things, a pure heart, beauty, etcetera, etcetera…" His smirk grew sour as he stepped towards his prey. "Though I'm sure that your precious Vegeta gave it to you to belittle your frailty. Such a delicate little thing aren't you? Haven't you noticed? _I could snap you like a twig_," he said, imitating Vegeta's voice.

His eyes roamed her body lustfully, undressing her with his leer. No, she wasn't his soulmate, but she'd do just fine as a consort.

Goku didn't allow herself to shift uncomfortably under his gaze, never relenting her stance. "You're completely making that up," she hissed.

"Am I?" Bejita chuckled cruelly, making the younger saiyajin uneasy. "So tell me, because I'm sure you've had to make this choice at least once before; will you join me? Or will I have to force you to bend to my will?"

"I don't even know what you're talking about, but let's just assume it's no, shall we?"

"As you wish," the king replied with another smirk. Without another word he charged her, slamming her up against and through the wall out into the dark yard below where they both fell into the mud. The two tumbled in the Indian red mess, trying to gain a slippery upper hand on the other.

But Goku's weakened female body would be her undoing.

Bejita pinned her down into the mud, his left hand wrapped tightly around her throat and with what else he could, he effectively disabled the use of her limbs. The rain fell heavily about them, dragging the king's hair into a limp mess while rivers of rainwater rolled down past his hideous smirk. Thunder crashed again. Goku could barely keep her vision straight as she struggled to get out of the hold and to gasp for air.

Giddy with anticipation, Bejita's smirk only grew wider as he pulled out a vial, whose crimson contents glowed deep in the dark, stormy night. The younger saiyajin felt her heart clench in fear at the sight of it, because for some inexplicable reason she knew that the small vial would be her doom. "Now be a good little girl, Kayka," Bejita said as he popped open the cap, "and drink this down will you?"

Goku couldn't say a thing as the vial was shoved into her lips and half the contents emptied into her mouth. She gagged as the sour stuff hit her throat and struggled to get herself out of the king's hold. "There you go…" Bejita smiled, brushing a limp, wet strand from her face. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Then she spat the vile juices into his face. The saiyajin no ou cried out, letting go of the younger saiyajin and giving her the opportunity to escape. Goku kicked the king up in the groin, wincing as she did so, for even if she still didn't have the anatomy, the memory of getting hit in such a sensitive spot was hard to forget. Bejita cried out even harder, falling away from her onto his knees, tears springing from his eyes from the agonizing pain. Goku stood up quickly, trying to get a sure foothold in the slippery mud.

She didn't noticed that Bejita took a swig of the rest of the potion, before she aimed a muddy turning kick at his side. The hit caught him off guard, skidding him across the muddy yard and coming to a full slushy stop, groaning on the ground. Goku thread over to him, her arms crossed about her chest. "Well, are you going to give up?" Bejita stood up shakily, breathing hard as he stumbled to close the distance between them. The younger saiyajin frowned, "Aren't you going to-"

Suddenly, the king caught her head between his hands and pressed their lips together…using her open mouth as an opportunity to spit the potion from his mouth to hers. Caught by surprise, when Goku felt the warm liquid hit her tongue she couldn't stop it before it slid down her throat. With a painful screech, she reared back, holding her hands to her mouth in horror.

Bejita only smirked as another clap of thunder boomed overhead, signaling the end to Goku's freedom. The rest of the potion was still in his mouth, all he had to do was swallow it and then the girl would be _his_.

In that instant, everything happened all at once.

Vegeta prayed on his knees in the darkness of his own mind to the pantheon of Nasarith and Lema.

Ryushifa put a clawed hand on Bardock's shoulder, tightening his grip as he hissed into the frightened saiyajin's ear, "Well, what do you say?" The angel swallowed, his anxiety tearing up his words as he moved to speak.

And Ruby, dear queen Ruby, blinked once too many times, and she faded from existence. "Majesty?" Aleria whispered, clutching the sheets that held her. The queen did not return. "Majesty!" the nurse screamed. Raditsu could only look at the empty bed in horror, even as he heard the rallying cries of the saiyajin in the hall below.

On Earth…

Bejita began to choke, feeling as though he were being suffocated. But by what- WHAT! Suddenly he felt an agonizing wrench of pain at his heart, followed by another and another. He was down on the ground, hissing in agony as he felt his very soul being torn apart. He felt his body curl about him tightly and his chin and upper lips itching as though they were being pierced by bullet ants. He was getting detached from himself once more! Pulled into the mysterious beyonds of death. The king couldn't even scream as his soul was wrenched from Vegeta's body, pulled into oblivion.

The lightning flashed, revealing only Vegeta left behind, drenched, cold, and confused, down on all fours in the mud with a mouthful of warm liquid. He looked up and saw his beloved standing over him, her mouth agape in shock as she watched the transformation from the cruel saiyajin no ou to her own saiyajin no ouji.

Vegeta shakily stood up, feeling as though he were about to retch and he swallowed the liquid in his mouth. "Kakarot," he said in dazed confusion. "What's going-"

He didn't get to say another word on the matter, as the younger saiyajin just went up to him and closed the distance between their lips, sharing their first kiss since the day of Goku's transformation.

* * *

Trunks: AHH! MY EYES! MY POOR EYES!

Goten-_sobs_- WHY DID YOU DO THAT!

Miyanon-_sweatdrops_- Uh……Well, anyway! We still may not be seeing B&B for a while! –_peers out the window to see the pair glaring at her_- Uh…a very long while… But I hope that you enjoyed the chapter anyway!


	27. The Deal

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.

Miyanon: Well, B&B are back from strike finally. -sigh- Good thing too, cuz Trunks and Goten got bored and ran off a while ago.

Bardock: Well they DO have Bejita's attention span.

Bejita: Hey! You can't talk about your king that way!

Bardock: …Hey! Want to play Mahjong?

Bejita: Huh, sure.

Bardock: -smirks-

Miyanon: -frown- Mahjong? Why are you playing Mahjong?

Bardock: -starts breaking out the tiles- We're bored of poker.

Miyanon: But it's still poker...

Bardock: …

Bejita: …

Miyanon: …You guys are the heroine addicts of gambling, sheese!

((((((((((ooooooo))))))))))

The dark night sky still poured heavily, dropping down enormous gobs of rain, while the thunder and lightning battled to dominate each other. Everyone in West City was safely tucked inside, asleep and unaware of the power blackout that had gone throughout the whole city, casting them in complete darkness. All except for two lonely figures, standing soaked in mud and rain on the large yard of Capsule Corps.

For one long moment, all the prince could do was stand stock still and gape, an impressive feat when his face was being assaulted by two full hungry lips. He had the fortune or misfortune of having an open mouth, which allowed the enchanted saiyajin to delve her nimble tongue into his slack mouth.

This… Vegeta felt himself lulled into a red haze, his lust rearing its ugly head as a low coiling molten snake nestling in his gut and he could not stop his arms from slithering around her waist, entreating her closer to his suddenly too warm body. Slowly he began to respond to the woman's attentions, an animalistic groan pulling from his throat. This…wasn't real… He knew it. This wasn't Kakarot.

And Vegeta did not give a shit.

Black magic was afoot as the prince wolfed the younger saiyajin's lips, pushing her up right against a tree in the rain, trapping her there. Like black venom, lust took over him and his senses, quenching whatever little meager part of him would even think of objecting to this…unrealism. His lips took hers and bit down on them, lapping up the tinny nectar that suddenly spilled onto his tongue.

At the taste, it was a blow to his mind, striking a haze of bloodlust over the prince and the beginnings of something else. He let out a small gasp in the seconds that he separated from her lips from air, before delving straight back into her blood dripping lips.

It was far too tempting for the impulsive prince not to taste the forbidden fruit, especially when it was being shoved right into his mouth.

Who gave a damn about the girl's soul?

The beast in him had to be satisfied. A hand snaked up under the younger saiyajin's drenched pajamas and the prince thought _Kakarotto. Bed. Now_, not giving a second thought when a mental reply came in return.

_Yes, master._

Vegeta could only purr.

((((((((((ooooooo))))))))))

Ruby's eyes snapped open and with a small gasp, the queen looked about her wildly, taking in her bizarre surroundings. Where was she? She was surrounded by white mist, engulfing everything around her, even graying her hand if she held it out too far away from her. A dull dread stirred in her as she pulled herself to her feet. Wasn't she supposed to be in the Hall? How did she get here?

She did not have long to behold it as she felt a warm rush of wind behind her and materializing out of the mist right in front of her, her dear soul mate came in focus, looking as confused as she.

Bejita blinked, suddenly himself again and not the cruel being he was only moments before. "Ruby?" he whispered in the moment of his disorientation, peering as her in confusion. Then suddenly he remembered… Turning as white as the mist that surrounded them, the royal let out a loud curse before he was able to slap his hands about his mouth.

The queen glared at him suspiciously, knowing that something was amiss. "Bejita…what did you do?" she demanded coldly, turning a glare on him that would have made zero degrees Kelvin seem tropical.

"Nothing!" Bejita yelped, trying and failing to put on an innocent look. The glare was unrelenting. When that didn't work, the saiyajin no ou merely changed the subject. "Ruby, where are we?"

"I don't know…" Ruby muttered, looking about at the white mists again. It didn't seem like there was anything there…that they were only surrounded by cotton candy clouds so white that it hurt your eyes to look at it.

Then unexpectedly, the haze began to clear. The both of them anxious, Bejita and Ruby tightly held their tails together, putting up a brave face to the transformation…

It started with marble floors sweeping to emerald grass and sapphire and ruby flowers. Then up smooth trunks to jade leaves and then beyond. To white steps, so white that it seemed as though it were formed from the very mist that drew back from it. Marble pillars, arching arcades, grandiose decoration of stars and moons.

Again, Bejita blinked. "This is the ugliest thing I've ever-" However, the mist kept sweeping back, revealing the walls crawled up with scaffolding and men in white, working away at the mess that lay underneath. Saiyajin graffiti. The king gave a horrible shriek when he saw it and he turned to his mate, his face as pale as the walls that surrounded him. "Ruby, I believe I know where we-"

"Welcome to Heaven!"

Bejita gave yet another shriek, looking about and finding no one. His soul mate gave an exasperated sighed and pulled the king's chin to look down at the small, winged ball of brown fluff at their feet. "I'm Qu'Pac and I'll be your orientation guide!"

"…To what?" the queen asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion while Bejita stood insensible behind her.

"Why being angels of course!" Both saiyajin cringed, one in remembrance of the horror stories he's heard from a friend and the other from the giddiness in the angel's voice.

"B-but why are we here!" Bejita demanded incredulously, getting a hold of himself.

Qu'Pac made a small 'hmm' and looked through the small clipboard of notes that he was armed with. "Well, it's a bit hazy," the brown powder puff confessed. "But there is one thing for sure! You were praying when you died!" he said, pointing to the king.

Who frowned, "No, I-" only to get cut off when Ruby gave him a hard jab to the ribs. "OwWw," he said more than felt, giving his mate a look of disbelief, who rolled her eyes at the king's seldom bouts of obliviousness.

Looking between them for a moment in confusion, the little angel cast aside the odd behavior and pulled up a big smile. "Okay, now if you'll accompany into Angel Headquarters, which we like to call-"

"HQ," Bejita quipped in.

"Wow, you're good!" Qu'Pac grinned, as he skipped up the stairs into the white building. "I'm sure that our other saiyajin resident will be thrilled to have two here!" He gave a good look over Ruby and then levitated up to her ear level and whispered, "Hey, you're not with this guy, are you? Because I've been talking to Bardock and he really needs to get-"

"HEY!" Bejita cried, his possessiveness flaring, while Ruby held back her laughter when Qu'Pac took a couple feet back from shock. "That's my mate! And Bardock is not laying his paws on her, whether he's super saiyajin or not!"

"I'm…sorry?" the angel blinked, getting over his initial shock quickly. "You know Bardock?"

"Of course I do! I'm his king!" the royal huffed angrily, puffing out his chest threateningly.

The angel was unfazed. "Well, I don't believe it," he said quietly to himself. "Small world. B-but you won't be able to see him…yet," Qu'Pac added quickly, looking earnestly up at the two saiyajin. "I mean, the reason why I'M the one escorting you today is because we're really understaffed. Almost all the angels are out looking for him. He was kidnapped when he was in the Special Center!"

"KIDNAPPED!" Bejita roared, sending the angel back yet another few feet. "But he's too powerful for that!"

"W-well, this wasn't any old kidnapping!" Qu'Pac said quickly. "He was taken by Ryushifa's forces…"

"Ryushifa?" Ruby and Bejita echoed.

"Yeah, Ryushifa…or Lucifer. You know, the Devil?"

((((((((((ooooooo))))))))))

"Oh my…Look at that," the black angel whispered, putting a clawed hand on the dark angel's shoulder. "Looks like you were too late to save your king…But it's not too late to save your daughter…"

Bardock tore his eyes away from the crystal ball, rounding on Ryushifa. "What's wrong with her!" he demanded harshly, showing off his saiyajin canines.

The black angel merely shrugged. "It's Black Magic. Their two bodies are bound now and now Kaka-chan has no choice but to fulfill the prince's every dark desire…Until the day she dies…"

"No.." the saiyajin angel whispered, his pallor deathly white as he stared hard at the crystal ball. Every hair on his body rose with his anger and he went to his feet, pacing the room in frustration. "I knew it! I knew I couldn't trust him! I'm going down there to-"

"To what? Let him destroy you for good? Let me remind you that the prince is also under the influences of Black Magic," Ryushifa reasoned, watching the saiyajin pace in amusement. "He will not feel any intimidation from you if you threaten his prize. The only thing to be done is to remove the binding spell altogether. Something that is perfectly within MY capabilities…"

For a few long moments, the angel was silent, staring at the crystal ball in desperation and utter helplessness. "What do you want from me?" Bardock whispered, looking up at his rescuer.

"Merely open up the gates of Heaven for me. That is all."

No…that wasn't all. But what could he do about it? "…Fine…I'll do it."

The black angel grinned and pulled out a black book and a pen, his eyes glittering with something dark and dangerous. "Just sign in here and we have a deal."

Bardock's very insides froze as he saw the Book. The Book that every angel was drilled every single day of boot camp to ward against. The Book that every daemon and devil of Hell was created from…

"You're the Devil," Bardock whispered, his narrow eyes widening at the epiphany.

"Does it matter?" Ryushifa grinned, showing off his vicious fangs.

…Not, it didn't change anything at all. With one last glance at the crystal ball, Bardock took up the pen and signed the Book, blood spilling into the pen through magic means, his hand draining and going numb as he felt himself carve his very blood onto the pages tanned with eternity.

It was done.

Ryushifa grinned widely and closed the book. "It will be a pleasure working with you my little pet," he said, taking up Bardock's numb hand and clasping it in a death-binding grip. The saiyajin angel let out one short gasp as he felt his whole hand on fire and black vile puss from the Devil's sleeves began to snake its way up the angel's bare arm.

((((((((((ooooooo))))))))))

In that very second, the Black Magic slipped away from the two Earth-bound saiyajin completely, just as they were outside the door of Goku's room. They regained their senses in a rather awkward position; Goku's legs had somehow managed to wind around the prince's waist, while Vegeta had the utterly embarrassing position of having his face right in between her… The both of them shrieked and wrenched away from each other, falling to the floor in a tangle of limbs.

They managed to separate from each other in seconds, Goku flinging herself up against her door, while Vegeta lay sprawled on the floor. Breathing so hard, she was almost hyperventilating; Goku touched her fingers up to her lips and drew it back seeing blood there. Stunned, she looked up at Vegeta with a look that froze the prince to the bone, a look of absolute betrayal. In a flash she was gone and the door to her room slammed shut.

It took Vegeta a second to realize what happened. "Kakarot!" he screamed, jumping up to his feet and pounding his hand against the flat door, making it literally slam against its hinges. "Kakarot! I didn't mean it! I swear! KAKAROTTO!" There was no answer. The prince's jaw opened and closed futilely and he stared at the door helplessly. No, no, this couldn't be happening to him!

Letting out a roar, a sob, Vegeta sank down onto his knees and pressed his forehead against the warm wood, his position a pathetic hunch against the door. His eyes brimmed with tears and his shoulder shook as he tried to squelched the sudden desperation he felt. Oh Gods. Oh GODS! How was Kakarotto ever going to trust him again?

((((((((((ooooooo))))))))))

Bejita: …Well, I'M happy!

Miyanon: Figured you would be.

Bardock: -ignores the story completely-

Miyanon: Okay, what's the matter with you now?

Bardock: -nonchalantly- Oh nothing. I just thought that you'd think better of me.

Miyanon: Well, of course I do!

Bardock: Then WHY do you have me selling my soul to the Devil!

Miyanon: …To save your daughter?

Bejita: She does have a point.

Bardock: -grumbles- Doesn't mean I have to like it.

Miyanon: -shakes head- Oh well, that's too bad for you. Anyway, I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter of Onnafied!

Bejita: -pokes the sulking saiyajinlaughs- I guess you're not in the mood for Mahjong anymore.

Bardock: Oh just shut up!


	28. Trust

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.

Bejita: My god! It's not even a month!

Miyanon: I know…I'm amazed…

Bardock: Oh well, at least you can write up a solution to this mess.

Miyanon: ………

Bardock: …Miya……

Miyanon: -_grins_- Yes?

Bejita: …I have a bad feeling about this…

(((((ooooo)))))

"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" rang a voice throughout the nearly empty Angel HQ. In the fitting rooms, a certain saiyajin no ou was being very uncooperative as two flustered tailors tried to measure his wing size for him. "We have to be out there looking for Bardock!"

"Calm down, Bejita! Please!" Qu'Pac cried in exasperation, holding up his hands to appease the mighty saiyajin. "Three-fourths of Heaven is out looking for him already! Even the entire Angel Council! So please, try to follow your wife's example…"

Bejita's eyes followed Qu'Pac's hand over to the window where he saw Ruby through the scaffolding, trying to wrench a crystal ball away from one of the search teams. The king sweatdropped, a welcome relief to the tailors who quickly took the opportunity to measure him while he wasn't pacing about the room. Instantly they set to customizing a pair of wings for him.

"Bardock is my friend," Bejita sighed and then sat down. "Why are we both here anyway? I don't understand what happened."

Qu'Pac merely scratched his head and refered to his trusty notepad again. "Well, like I said- all that I can really figure out is that when you passed from the mortal realm, you were praying…" The small angel then ho'd and hmm'd about the problem and then snapped his fingers as an idea hit him. "You two must be soul mates!" Qu'Pac exclaimed, looking earnestly at the saiyajin.

"I could have told you that," Bejita said curtly, making the powder puff's enthusiasm deflate.

"Oh…" the angel pouted, letting out a sigh. "Well then I suppose you know that whenever physical bodies are no longer a restriction for souls, they stay together no matter where they are. Heaven, Hell or beyond."

…Actually, the saiyajin didn't quite know that. But it was best to just let the weird puff think otherwise, so Bejita kept it to himself. "Of course I know that! Do you think I'm an idiot! There's no way I could be in charge of a whole planet, keeping it intact and be an idiot!"

"…Didn't one of your own allies destroy your planet?"

"…SHUT UP!" Bejita roared, his face reddening in embarrassment.

The little angel pouted and crossed his arms about his chest, sending a soft glare at the king. "Honestly, I tell you," Qu'Pac said, sulking, "you're just as bad as Beets is!"

Bejita's head perked up as he heard this, forgetting about the tailors who had finished the wings and were now attaching them to his back. "What- Did you say Beets?"

His escort nodded, "Yeah, Bardock's friend. He's a nasty, short-tempered man, who does nothing just come up with horrible dastardly plans and lays around drinking all day." Bejita twitched. "Bardock says the ONLY reason why he hangs around with him is because he feels sorry for the twit."

Another twitch. "A twit, he says," the king echoed, the knuckles of his fists turning white.

"Yup!" Qu'Pac chirped, oblivious. For a moment, Bejita was silent and the tailors took a step back from their finished work and took a sharp tug of a fistful of feathers to test the wings out. Of course, this extracted a sharp yelp from the king. The saiyajin spun around, screaming bloody murder and chased after the poor tailors, while all that Qu'Pac could do was sweatdrop. "This strikes me as very familiar…"

(((((ooooo)))))

"Something went down last night," Piccolo muttered as he sipped his breakfast. Gourmet water courtesy of the constantly battling Briefs women, who were both still in a smiling face off.

Meanwhile his companion was currently muching on waffles and bacon, also courtesy of Bulma and Bunni. "Yeah, I know," Krillen muttered. "Vegeta's back to normal and Goku's nowhere to be found. I'm worried about him."

A yawn drew their attention to the door and they saw Mirai entering the kitchen, wearing just a tank top and pajama bottoms. The demi-saiyajin froze when he saw the two fighters at the table, his arms at an awkward angle as they were in mid-stretch. He loosened himself up and then frowned, "What are you two doing here?" sitting himself down at the table and giving an absentmided thanks to his mother and grandmother as they piled his plate high with food.

"Mirai, have you been paying attention to ANYTHING that goes on around here?" Piccolo demanded.

"Well, I do know that Kayka and my dad nearly had sex together last night." The nameck and the former monk both blanched and started to choke on their breakfast. Mirai pretended not to notice as he dug into his own food. "But something suddenly made them snap out of it."

Soon Krillen was able to get a hold of himself and he stared at the prince's son in complete shock. "Since when were- But she's- KAMI! Mirai, those two can't possibly-"

"Is there a problem with my father liking her?" the demi-saiyajin demanded, ready to jump in the prince's defense.

"W-well, it's HER, really," Krillen cried.

"…Wait a minute. You KNOW?" Mirai asked, his fork arrested halfway up to his mouth.

"Oh we know," Piccolo growled, his arms crossed about his chest. "Goku told us himself."

"And you're aware of the fact that my father is head over heels in love with 'Kayka' then." Instantly, the two fighters began to choke again. "Oh, oops. Guess you didn't," the teenager muttered, blinking in surprise.

"Vegeta's in love with GOKU!"

Panic rising in him, Mirai attempted to shush the former monk by slapping a hand over Krillen's mouth. "Shut UP! Do you want my dad to hear!" However, his captive was in no mood to cooperate.

Then came the cold voice that sliced through their very actions cutting them into frozen statues. "Too late."

_Oh god, I am so DEAD!_ Mirai screamed mentally as he looked over at the door straight into his father's cold glare. It was a mistake.

Bulma came up to Vegeta and pecked him on the cheek. "Morning, honey," she said, handing him a plate of pancakes and bacon. Apprehensively, the three watch Vegeta calmly sit and begin eating.

"Krillen. Piccolo." Both winced. It was a very bad thing when the prince used their actual names. "I want you out of my house in the next five seconds before I smash your skulls in with my bare fists and wash my hands in that mass of goo you call your brains."

"B-but, Vegeta," the former monk protested.

"Five."

"Vegeta, this is ridic-"

"Four."

"-ulous. Vegeta!" Piccolo yelled, his anger and slight fear flaring.

"Three."

"Uh…Piccolo?"

"Krillen. Run."

"Two." The two fighters dashed out of the backdoor, just in time before the prince got to the last second, their chairs still spinning even after they were long gone. Taking a couple bites of food, Vegeta turned to his son. "As for you-" Mirai winced. "you can go and fetch Kakarotto from her-…his room… Tell her I'm not going to be a ny bother any longer."

The prince let it go at that and in silence ate his meal while Bulma and her mother battled in the art of cooking. Though he didn't get threatened somehow…Mirai felt as though he was much worse off. "Wait a minute," Mirai frowned, his father's words just hitting him. "You KNOW Kayka's Goku!"

"I have her the name," the prince replied, his voice quiet. Crystal… and he shattered the younger fighter. Vegeta could tell that much from Kakarotto's face. He shattered Crystal…

_Well, no more_. Vegeta decided before as he strained under the intensity of the multitude of gravity. He would just simply let Goku be and let he- him turn back into a man and return to his family where he wanted to be. Without any intervention from the prince at all.

_Maybe in another lifetime, Kayka. It will probably be eons before we meet again, but I know we will again one day. Hopefully, next time I won't be so phenomenally stupid._

"You know where to find me," the prince muttered as he stood up and went back outside over to the gravity room. Just watching his once proud standing father slump outside broke Mirai's heart completely. God, this was more serious than he thought! He had to fix this somehow…

Absently, he thanked his mother for breakfast again and bounded up the stairs to Goku's room. "Son-san!" he called, knocking on the door. "Son-san, I need to talk to-" The door gave way, opening up to show the third class' face, tired and haggard.

"What is it, Mirai?" she asked, all her youthful energy gone from her.

"I…" he started, but then saw the suitcases on top of the bed. "Are you leaving!"

Goku nodded and gestured the demi-saiyajin to come into her room. "I'm going to go back to ChiChi and explain everything to her like I should have from the very beginning."

"Because of what my father did?" Mirai asked helplessly.

At this, the saiyajin blinked. "Huh? Mirai, you've got it wrong. Geta was… He wasn't himself. Literally. And when he turned back to normal… I'm the one who threw myself at him…" She sighed and sat down on the bed in a dejected slump. "I don't know why I did it. I don't know why I couldn't stop myself either. I just… took advantage of him right when he turned back to normal."

"You should have heard him…" the saiyajin whispered, her head bent into her hands. "He was so upset when I managed to get a hold of myself. I was… I'm so confused, Mirai. It was like my own body betrayed me…"

…Well, to Mirai it certainly didn't look like his father was being taken advantage of, but it was just like Goku to always assume the best in other people. But at least in this instance it gave the demi-saiyajin the opportunity to right the situation.

"I can't even look at him in the face."

Mirai knelt by her, laying a comforting hand on her fists, "Son-san. It's not like that at all. If you just talk to him, he's the one who's going to be apologizing. Whatever happened last night was just…a huge misunderstanding."

Goku looked up at the demi-saiyajin in surprise. "Really? You mean…he's just as confused as I am?" she asked hopefully.

…That was the furthest from the truth that Goku could have guessed, but Mirai played along with it. "Uh..sure… Why don't you just go and talk to him, okay? He's in the gravity room."

"I…" Goku started, giving the demi-saiyajin a desperate look. "I don't think I should! ChiChi would- Well, frankly, she'd cut my throat!"

"Shouldn't you be more worried about if this will hurt her, rather than if she'll hurt you?" Mirai asked slyly, making Goku blush and sputter.

"Mirai! Stop teasing! This is serious!"

"I'm sorry," the teenager grinned, not looking sorry at all. "But in all seriousness, Son-san, fear for your life is not a reason to bind yourself to someone."

For a moment, Goku was silent, staring at the floor in contemplation. "It's not that simple…" No, Goku had to think of how loyal ChiChi always was to him. How she stayed celibate for years when he was dead. And Goku had to think of his children. Gohan had already been through so much, but he always had the security that his parents loved each other. And Goten… He couldn't just leave Goten alone again!

Suddenly a knock came to the door.

With a frown, Mirai opened it, only to reveal the youngest Son standing awkwardly in the hall. Goten instantly pouted when he saw Mirai. "Dang! Why's your ki so similar to Trunks'!" Then he peeked inside and grinned at Goku. "Hi, Touchan!" The saiyajin blanched. "Is it okay if I sleepover here? I didn't ask Kaasan yet."

…Okay, who else did Trunks tell about her identity? Numbly, Goku answered, "Uh… Goten, buddy, I think you need to ask your mother. Why don't you call?"

"Ah…I don't remember the number…" the boy admitted with a laugh. Oh…well, drat. Goku didn't remember either. Whenever she had to ask ChiChi something she'd just IT over there and ask.

Mirai sighed and shook his head. "I'll help you, Ten-kun," he said, standing up and ruffling Goten's hair as he led the boy over tot eh phone in the den.

The youngest Son waved at his father as he left. "See ya, Touchan!" Still struck dumb, Goku waved back and listened to her son's excited chirps as he ran through the list of 'super fun' things that he and Trunks were going to do that night.

When the two demi-saiyajin were well out of range, Goku stood up and slowly made her way out into the hall and down the stairs, heading towards the kitchen's back door to go over to the GR.

It was raining again this day. Not as violently as the night before, but the sound of pattering water brought back the haunting touches of the prince's hands over her skin, making her physically shiver from the phantom memories.

It was..wrong. It was just wrong.. but then why... Goku was torn. As she stared out at the darkening sky, she tried to think of all the wonderful times that she had with ChiChi and the kids... but all she could think of was... the rightness in the wrong act of throwing herself at Vegeta.

It was just that...She was just...so relieved, so not afraid, so glad, and so ecstatic to see her prince back to his old self that...she just went insane. _Vegeta_... she thought in irrational shame, watching the prince's movements from the doorway, which were so quick they didn't even leave a silhouette on the GR's windows.

Scared out of her mind, Goku stepped out into the rain out onto the muddy lawn, letting herself get soaked to the bone in seconds. She walked towards the door of the gravity room until she was only a foot away from the door.

_Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod_, the thought kept running through her mind as she tried to work up the nerve to knock. The rain poured harder and the rumblings of thunder began low over the eastern horizon. Why...why was she so afraid? She wasn't this scared when she fought against Frieza or Cell. The only other time she could remember being so utterly terrified was when he was about to face off...Vegeta for the very first time.

All alone on the desert plain. So alone. It thundered like this, too. Not in the heavens, but in the very earth as they battled far above it.

If Yajirobe hadn't shown up... well, Vegeta would have won that fight. He would have anyway if he didn't decided to go into the villainous monologue about how Kakarotto shouldn't have been so utterly stupid to decline the offer to...rule the universe together... _Oh god... I can't do this!_ she screamed mentally and turned about to run back to the house.

Suddenly the loud smack of metal on metal made Goku jump with a guilty state. "Kakarotto?" Slowly, the saiyajin turned around, coming face-to-face with Vegeta, a nervous smile planted on her lips.

"Uh...hi, Vegeta! I was just passing by...in the rain... and I thought I'd just come and...say hi! And so I have! So bye!"

The prince gave a harsh snort and turned back to the engine. "I knew it."

_That...hurt_. Goku thought with a wince. _That really hurt_. Vegeta was still mad at her and Mirai was obviously wrong. "Look, I'm sorry," the saiyajin said imploringly as she dared to step into the GR from out of the rain. "I'm really, really sorry! I've never been more sorry for anything in my entire life!"

"What are you sorry for, Kakarotto?" the prince asked wearily, checking over the control panels about the engine.

"I'm sorry that...I kissed you?" Goku offered, though it sounded lame even to her. At that, Vegeta went completely still, making Goku even more nervous. Then he turned, revealing not the angry expression that the younger saiyajin was expecting, but one of confusion.

"Kakarot?"

"I..." Goku breathed, staring at the prince who moved closer to her now. "I don't know!" she cried. "I don't know! I don't KNOW!"

Shocked, Vegeta stopped moving instantly, his jaw going slack as he stared at the younger saiyajin in her sudden change of mood. "Kayka, calm down," he said, his eyes widening as he held up his two hands to the saiyajin.

Goku let out a laughing sob. "You know.. Bejita... he told me what Kayka means. Crystal, huh?" Another laugh. "Th-that's really funny you know. I mean, WHY? Why did you give me that name? I can't figure out if you were making fun of me or if-"

"I love you." Vegeta said quickly, blurting out his secret. The younger saiyajin stared at him, speechless. She knew, somehow, that he was leaving his heart completely out in the open for her to do whatever she liked with it.

And oh god, those eyes, shining with...something so beautiful one second and in the next they cracked from absolute terror, when the prince suddenly realized how utterly vulnerable he just made himself. But... Goku was not one who lied or toyed with other people's feelings.

"Vegeta...that's not what I really wanted to hear from you..."

(((((ooooo)))))

"That little WHORE!" Ruby screamed in fury at the crystal ball that she had 'acquired' from one of the psychic search parties.

"Erm...Ma-am... we-really-need-that-back," the leader gurbled apprehensively at the saiyajin after outburst.

"How DARE that third class wench treat my baby like that!" the queen shrieked, ignoring the angel completely. "If I could just get my hands on her, I'll wring her neck!"

"Svniff!" the leader called out its ten yellow eyes widening in fear, "could you go and get this lady's husband! Quickly!"

(((((ooooo)))))

For a few long moments, the prince was silent, feeling as though his very heart had shattered into a million tiny crystal fragments. "I..." he choked out, "I understand." Vegeta felt as though he were on the very verge of mental collapse as he forced himself to utter the two hardest words he ever had to speak. This.. This wasn't right! They were soul mates! Once they confessed their love, they were supposed to be bound together for eternity! _DO SOMETHING!_ he screamed at himself. _Shake some sense into her! ANYTHING!_

But he couldn't.

"Oh Vegeta," Goku sighed softly, wrapping her arms about him and pulling the prince into a tight hug. "I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you, but I have my family that I need to think about...for once."

"Can...you at least stay for the rest of the week?" Vegeta whispered, speaking no louder than a mouse.

"I don't think that's a good idea," the younger saiyajin replied, her throat tightening as well as her grip. "I'm going to go back to ChiChi's where I belong and tell her everything that I should have from the very start."

"...You don't trust me?"

Goku shook her head, "No, no! Of course I do! I've always trusted you... I just don't trust myself..."

Vegeta said nothing, simply unable to bring himself to it.

Sighing a breath of defeat, his greatest rival withdrew her arms from about him and then tread outside where the storm was just clearing. She closed the gravity room door sharply behind her, leaving Vegeta completely and utterly alone...

(((((ooooo)))))

B&B: ...

Bejita: ...WTFH!

Miyanon: Love is never pretty, my friend.

Bejita: -_twitches in rage_- You YOU!

Bardock: And where the heck was **I**? You can't just sell my soul to the devil and not have me show up in the next chapter!

Miyanon: Of course I can. Shakespeare did the exact same thing with Hamlet when Claudius sends him off to be killed in England. It increases dramatic tension and lets the readers/viewers cool off for a bit after the protagonist has done something incredibly stupid.

Bardock: -_snorts_- Oh thanks.

Bejita: Wait a minute. He's the protagonist! What about me!

Miyanon: Well...You ALL are! That's the great thing about esembles!

Bejita: ...I don't believe you...


	29. Water under the Bridge

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.

* * *

Miyanon: Hello again! Sorry about all this! -_nervous laugh_- Yeah...I'm moving into my college dorm in a day... I am SO stressed out by all this...

Bardock: You obviously haven't been on a planet purge mission.

Miyanon: ...How can we possibly even compare-

Bejita: Easily! We have gone through a hell of a lot more crap than you have. Dieing for one thing.

Miyanon: But that's not fair!

Bardock: Of course not! That never stopped us before!

Bejita: Face it, your life's been pansied by good fortune.

Miyanon: -_opens mouth, closes it_- You- You ARGH! -_storms off_-

Bardock: -_smirks_- I love teasing her.

Bejita: We better bring her back so she can type out the story.

Bardock: Yeah, the readers have been waiting long enough. Now for the next installment of Onnafied!

* * *

Goku physically winced as her wife began screeching again. The fighter had absolutely no idea what it was about this time, ChiChi's voice was far too pitched to really understand. And looking at the faces around the breakfast table, it looked like her two sons were suffering, too.

She sent a grin over to Gohan who returned it with a nervous, twitchy smile. Two days and her eldest still wasn't over the fact that he was a she...temporarily anyway.

Gohan sped up his meal and then grabbed lunch from the kitchen counter as he fled. "Bye Mom! Bye Goten!" he called out as he ran out the door. Luckily it was enough to distract ChiChi long enough to make her stop screaming so loudly.

"Gohan! You come home for dinner!"

There was the faint echo of 'Yeah!' coming up from the sky.

Then the housewife set her sights on the two at the table. "Goten, you go up and study in your room," ChiChi ordered, her eyes piercing into her "husband."

Uh oh...

"But Mom," came the automatic reply.

"Goten, you better go do what your mother says," Goku said quickly, nudging the young boy to leave and quickly. The boy pouted, but he had no choice but to listen when BOTH his parents were agreeing on something. Goten bounded up the stairs, leaving Goku and ChiChi to face each other off in the kitchen.

"What's the matter, ChiChi?" Goku asked, looking up at her small wife. However, ChiChi didn't answer. Her hand raised high above her head and she slapped Goku in the face.

"Where the hell were you last night?"

Goku rubbed her cheek, looking up at her wife in shock. "Nowhere! Just up by my Grandpa's house."

"LIAR!" she screamed, slapping Goku in the face again. "You're gone out all night! And with what little sleep you do get, I hear you moaning for someone else! A MAN!" She slapped Goku again. "You sick, filthy-"

"CHICHI!" the saiyajin growled, her eyes flashing blue. She looked up at the stairwell, seeing Goten there, shaking like a leaf. Both parents were silent. "I'll take care of him," Goku whispered getting up from her seat, passing by her wife. She paused, right at her side. "ChiChi, I swear on my honor that I have never seen hide nor hair of this person since I've come back."

"Oh?" ChiChi said coldly, "what about the three weeks before then?" Goku could say nothing, her eyes carefully averted from hers. "I thought so," her wife hissed and then loudly gathered the breakfast dishes together and began the vigorous job of cleaning up.

Goku sighed and walked to the bottom of the stairs. "Goten, come here," she beckoned, holding out a hand to him. "Let's go take a walk."

* * *

"Get away from me, you freak!" Vegeta hissed, swinging his arm over the back of the couch and landing a hard smack on the pruple-haired head behind it.

Mirai fell on his ass in an instant, wincing painfully. "Dad, just cool it, will you?" he said quickly, holding up his hands as a submissive gesture.

The prince watched him for a moment, snorted, and then turned his attention back to the television. Supposedly. A five hour marathon of Jamie Oliver's shows would be enough to entrance any saiyajin, demi or otherwise, even the prickly prince of all saiyajin. But in just three days, everything normal in Vegeta's life, his mannerisms, behavior and routine, had turned into a front.

Mirai was the only one in the house with enough insight to realize this. Bulma would have but right now there was something seriously wrong with the woman. And for that Vegeta was grateful.

...The boy was staring at him again. "What in the nine hells is your problem!" Vegeta demanded, taking another swipe at the demi-saiyajin. This time Mirai was prepared and he ducked it.

"I don't have a problem," Mirai countered, "you do."

"Just let me watch the TV in peace, dammit!" the prince grated out, his fingers puncturing the arm chair's leather upholstery. "I do NOT appreciate being watched like some lab vermin!"

"All right. All right. I'll lay off," the younger fighter sighed as he took a seat around the TV and watched the marathon. But much like his father, his thoughts were not on potato stuffed bell peppers or whole baked onions lathered in butter glaze... Okay, so he was paying more attention than his father, but Jamie Oliver did not stop Mirai from being concerned about the eldest fighter's deterioration.

It wasn't just that Vegeta was acting extremely cantankerous, it was that his father seemed to becoming more and more unstable.

That afternoon, Vegeta had given him a very disturbing lecture about the time Furiza taught him exactly what happened to the inhabitants of a planet that is about to blow up. 'They can die either two ways; one, by pyroclastic surge. A force of such intense heat going at unimaginable speeds. If it hits a living organism, it doesn't burn. The saiyajin is turned into charcoal instantly. Instant death.

'For those that weren't so lucky was option number two: thermal shock. The skin vaporizes, the brain boils and bursts, all the water evaporates from your body, leaving all your organs shriveled and infuctional. Then of course, you die in agony.'

The point of this gruesome story completely eluded Mirai and that also worried him. He wished he could talk to his mother about this, but Bulma was even more whacked up than Vegeta! And worse, the boy from the future didn't even know why! Still, an unstable Vegeta was infinitely more frightening than his mother pursuing baking.

Now his father wasn't even interested in the marathon. He was being really twitchy. "I swear to all the Gods in heaven, if you stare at me one more time, I'm going to rip your head from your shoulders and stuff the sinewy remains down you throat!"

Oops. Mirai looked away from his irate father, his neck popping from the speed of the snap.

If only his father didn't look like he was actually going to carry out that threat...

* * *

This was heaven. There could be absolutely NO denial of that fact now.

Not when there was this enormous luscious mound of Philly steak and cheese sandwiches right before his eyes! Almost afraid to touch it, Bejita daintily picks up one of the large subs from the pile. It was warm, fresh, almost too good to eat. ...Almost.

With the agility of a saiyajin and without any of the dignity he was usually known, the king stuffed the entire sandwich into his mouth his cheeks bloated with the heaven sent taste. This was too good to be true! He could almost cry!

During his scarf fest, the other administrative angels could only stare at him in something of shock. "...You really weren't kidding about the sandwiches, were you?" he said, turning to look over at the dignified saiyajin queen. Ruby smiled and shook her head. "So I'm assuming he'll accept the position?"

"You probably didn't have to bribe him into becoming a general," the queen frowned at General Mac. "He would have done it out of boredom anyway."

"...Wish I knew that before," the stiff general muttered. "But it's alright. We need to prepare for this upcoming rise from hell."

"And what makes you so sure that Hell's going to attack?" Ruby asked suspiciously, her tail twitching with agitation. In hell, she had absolutely no intention of invading Heaven! She and the other saiyajin were just bent on survival.

General Mac frowned heavily on the woman. "There's the angel kidnapping for one thing. Plus I can just feel it in my bones..." the MM general muttered gruffly. "The big guy's behind this one. The Prince of Darkness himself."

"I've heard," Ruby said flatly. "Now how are you planning on finding Bardock?"

"Ma'am," the alien put it frankly, "if he were down there for this long already, then the chances are that he's either nonexistent or has turned."

"...What do you mean turned?" Ruby demanded.

"As in he sold his soul. I can't think of any reason why Lucifer would come for him if that weren't the case."

The queen clenched her jaw, but reluctantly accepted the words. Normally, she would be outright offended at the idea of any saiyajin being so weak, but...this was _Lucifer_...The Lord of the Underworld... He was more fiction than reality. A God.

But what could possibly turn Bardock?

"Bejita, could I show you to your troops now?" General Mac asked, ignoring Ruby's disconcerted look and becoming bored with the saiyajin no ou's antics.

Bejita paused his binge long enough to frown in confusion at the angel. "Troops?" he asked, his mouth stuffed his steak and cheese.

"Yes, the ones that you're supposed to lead in exchange for a never ending supply of Philly steak and cheese!" the general grated out, tapping his fingers against his crossed arms in irritation.

The king then turned to his soul mate, gulping down his food before he spoke, "Ruby, you didn't say anything about-"

"Just take a couple sandwiches and follow the alien, honey."

* * *

Salvation was but a mere hop away. Goku shifted around on the not too comfortable couch, staring up at her living room as moonlight shadowed a window onto the front door. Two days ago had been the last straw for ChiChi, leaving her husband to fend for herself until Goku turned back into a man. The saiyajin desperately waited for everything to go back to the way it was. It was only a couple days left. Then ChiChi would stop being so mad all the time. Gohan would look him in the eyes again.

...And Vegeta would realize the error in his thinking. Then he'll probably beat his rival up over it and not speak to him for months. Years. Uncharacteristically depressed, Goku tossed again, clutching the thick blanket up to her chin.

At least he wouldn't be sad, if he was pissed off. God, she would prefer dying again before seeing such heartbroken look on Vegeta's face. Her insides squeezed with guilt just thinking about it.

It wasn't fair! Why couldn't Vegeta have fallen in love with Bulma! She thought that he _was_ in love with Bulma already! They had Trunks, didn't they! And he just- Vegeta just- Out of the blue!

Wracked with guilt, the warrior was no where near asleep. Instead she shifted again and stared at the ceiling, her heart twisting cruelly. It wasn't fair!

There was no way that she could sleep. Sighing, Goku sat up and tossed the blanket over the back of the couch. Giving up, knowing ChiChi will kill her later, Goku raised two fingers to her brow and transmissioned out of the house.

Only a few hours later the sun peeked over the eastern horizon to find Son Goku sleeping at the roots of a large oack, her head laying comfortably on the crook of her elbow.

A pair of scrutinous eyes watched her.

He waited while Kakarotto blinked into the early sun and stretched out her sleep sore muscles. His hand fisted and unclenched absently as he waited for her to become aware of her presence in the tree above her.

Finally she did when she sat up and jerked her head to the branch above her. "Vegeta!" the exclamation was almost a shriek. Instantly, Goku was up on her feet.

The prince almost smirked as he lightly dropped down to the ground. "What are you doing here, Kakarotto? Did the harpy kick you out?" he asked, leaning against the trunk of the large oak.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Goku countered, standing defensively with her arms crossed around her chest.

This time Vegeta did smirk. "You happen to be in my backyard."

A spike of panic stabbed the younger saiyajin and she spun around to look at her environment. The only thing around was trees. "Jeez, Vegeta! Why did you scare me like that!" the fighter pouted. "I don't see Capsule Corps anywhere near here!"

"However, it is my property," the prince replied, examining the tree sap that had stuck to his gloves. "I had Bulma get it for me a while back. My villa's in the middle of the grove." A small grin played on his face and Goku sent him a look of annoyance as he seemed to delight in poking fun at her. However, embarrassment pawed at her insides.

She didn't even realize that this was his place! He wasn't happy because he thought she was...did he? Oh hell! Who knew what went on in the prince's head!

Guilt knifed her again and she felt out of sync with herself due to Vegeta's presence. The warrior quickly sought an escape route. "Look, I need to-"

"I want a fight, Kakarotto," the older saiyajin interrupted.

Instantly Goku was wary, so the prince rephrased his intent. "I haven't done much sparring since you left. Bulma is too busy _baking_ to fix the battlebots," he muttered, his mouth curling in disgust. "And Mirai thinks I should be institutionalized." Then, almost as if he were checking himself first, the prince held out a hand to the younger saiyajin. "So come. Let's see how much you've improved in your mosquito style."

Goku had to keep herself from bursting into laughter. Ah! He still remembered! Contemplating the handsome prince, the fighter caught an unfamiliar emotion in his eyes; sour acceptance, and some hope.

Man, this was completely against better judgment.

But who listened to that anyway?

She reached out for Vegeta's hand. Immediately, the older saiyajin snatched it away and tossed a haughty smirk at his subject. "Do you think I'll let you touch me that easily third class?" he demanded loudly, jumping back and taking an offensive position.

Goku's eye twitched.

Sure, she was still uncomfortable with their relationship. Sure she was still in pajamas. But dammit! She worked her ass off to prove herself better than a third class!

And the prince knew it. He was completely ready for her façade of a grin and her sudden attack.

* * *

The two saiyajin nearly collapsed by the end of the day, landing with soft thuds onto the battle torn ground. Resignedly, Vegeta glared at the landscape. "Well there goes the neighborhood." Goku blinked and looked over what was left of the terrain. Small hills were upheaved, the trees scraggly and shuddering from the wind, as if they just suffered a traumatic near death experience. Craters coated the grassy floor. Boy they did a number from such a short-

What time was it!

Goku looked up at the sky in panic, suddenly realizing that the pink rosy dawn had turned into an orange dusk without her realizing it! Oh God! "ChiChi's going to kill me!" she shrieked, jumping to her feet. At which point, her stomache contested a much more important matter. "Oh man, I'm starving," Goku moaned, falling on her back onto the tufts of grass.

Her sparring partner smirked, reaching over and flicking a strand of hair from across her face. The small action made the younger saiyajin go very still, a lead weight of awkwardness planting itself in her gut.

"I'll get you something to eat then. Just wait for a bit," the prince said, heaving himself up to his feet. He strode off towards what the new edge of the mountainous forest.

The younger saiyajin watched his back until it disappeared behind the trees. ...Now the _normal_ Vegeta would just call her an idiot for being so susceptible to her stomach. And he would never just hunt for her sake.

So, he still...

...Well, she couldn't expect his feelings to evaporate overnight...

Goku stared at the sky in silence. "...GAH!" she screamed, so suddenly that she nearly startled herself. She didn't want him to love her! She wasn't even a her! With a moan, the fighter flopped onto her stomach. Before Vegeta had always scoffed at the soft notion of love, dismissing it as solely a human concept. And when he finally finds it for himself... It just made her heart break.

With yet more uncharacteristically depressing thoughts stewing about her mind, Vegeta returned with his...hunt. Goku blinked when the prince dropped a couple capsules onto her lap. She stared down at them. "Since when did hunting involve Capsules?"

"Who said I was going hunting?" Vegeta asked, setting himself down next to the younger fighter. "My villa is only half a kilometer away. Besides, I realized that hunting meant taking extra time to prepare the meat. And you looked as though you were about to die from starvation," the prince added with a teasing smirk.

Goku laughed, feeling more at ease. "Hey! I don't die that easy!" She tossed the couple of capsules over at her feet. In a bamph of smoke, several boxes of pizza came into being. "Pizza! My favorite!"

"...Everything's your favorite, Kakarotto," Vegeta said, his voice flat. Grinning, Goku pounced on the first steaming box and nearly inhaled one pizza after another. "Hey! Don't eat it all!" the prince yelled, when the stockpile of boxes was getting too low too quickly. "Dammit! I haven't anything all day either!" he said, reaching over the girl to get at the food.

Goku shoved him back with her shoulder. "Nuh-uh! As I recall you got it for me," she reasoned, laughing at the prince's frustration. Growling, Vegeta physically clambered on top of the younger fighter and grabbed one of the boxes. "Hey, hey! Get offa me!" Goku protested, ineffectively trying to shove him off with his elbows, both hands filled with pizza.

Vegeta turned over, cocking an eyebrow at the younger saiyajin. "Get off? I don't feel like starving, Kakarotto." He shifted, until his head was comfortably on top of her stomach. "I'm staying right where I am."

His pillow went still, her mirth leaving her. "...Vegeta, if you don't move I'll make you regret it," she said tonelessly.

The prince snorted, rolling his eyes. "I don't see what you could possibly-"

His words cut off, when lips pressed against his own. Vegeta stiffened, his whole body turning rigid. Who- Kakarotto... Kayka was... kissing him... His hands hesitantly made their way up to her shoulders, feeling the warmth of her skin under his fingers.

Then he shoved her away with everything he had. "Kakarotto! What is wrong with you!" he screamed in fury. His rage died away when he saw tears in her eyes. Eyes wide, he echoed quietly, "What's wrong with you?"

Goku hiccupped and then pushed the prince off of her. "I have to go."

Vegeta grabbed her wrist before she could even move. "You're not leaving. Not until you explain what just happened." Her eyes trained on her ankle, so he cupped her chin and forced her face to his. "Kakarotto, look at me. What ha-" His voice caught in his throat when he saw his own eyes clearly staring back at him.

"...I...I love you," she whispered.

The prince's hand dropped to his sides. "I don't believe it. You're lying aren't you?" he accused. "Aren't you!" Goku winced, then slowly shook her head her eyes back on her ankles. Vegeta jumped up and began to pace furiously in small steps. "I don't believe this," he hissed, his hands clenched into fists. He stopped to face his rival, his mouth opening to talk. But he couldn't speak and he started pacing again.

"DAMMIT!" he roared, and backhanded their tree. Roots and dirt upheaved, showering the two with mud as the tree moaned in its fall. Finally, the prince found his words and the menace in the glare he sent down to his rival would have made Furiza back away. "You have always followed your heart, Kakarotto. So why the hell am I the exception!"

"Vegeta, I-"

"Kakarotto, nothing you have to say could possibly-"

He went on to say more, but then Goku felt an angry buzz in the back of her mind. Reluctantly, she ignored the prince and started communicating with her heaven bound mentor. "King Kai, what's the matter?"

"Goku! It's trouble! You and Vegeta need to come up here RIGHT NOW!" Horror gripped the saiyajin as she listened to the event unfolding in the so-called paradise. She looked up at the ranting prince, her face emoting battle readiness.

"Vegeta, we have to go."

The prince's face was nearly red with anger. "No! Kakarotto, I'm not going anywhere! We're going to sort this-"

"Vegeta, Hell is going to invade Heaven."

Her statement caught Vegeta by surprise long enough for his voice to lower in register a few notches. "That's their problem. They're the ones that caused this whole mess in the first place. I could care less-"

"Vegeta-"

"GodDAMMIT! Stop interrupting me!"

Goku took a breath and looked the warrior prince straight in the eye. "Vegeta, your parents are going to be caught in the crossfire."

A cold chill ran down Vegeta's spine and he slowly turned to his rival. "My parents?" Goku nodded. "What are they thinking?" the prince wondered aloud. "I suppose we can sort this out later," he told the younger saiyajin. Without a word, she grabbed his hand and teleported the two of them to heaven.

...Then teleported them right back to Vegeta's villa because their clothes were in shreds.

* * *

Miyanon: -_looks up at the introduction_- Obviously its been a while since I started this chapter. sighs I had writer's block. I have no explanation.

Bardock: -_nods_- Sad, really. It's been what? Over a year?

Miyanon: It has not!

Bejita: Pretty damn close though. -_examines his poker cards_-

Miyanon: ...I thought you were off that!

Bardock: We're not saints, Miya. Plus you've been gone for soo, soo long.

Miyanon: ...Careful, or I'll have you killed in the next chapter.

Bardock: ...

Bejita: ...

Miyanon: ...

Bardock: ...That's not funny.


	30. This is ridiculous

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.

Bardock: Miya, you realize this is the week before your finals right?

Miyanon: Oh bugger off. People think I'm dead for crying out loud. I'm really close to it actually. Believe it or not. I worked 53 hours at work last week and I had two exams and a paper due too! It's insane! I hate my schedule!

Bejita: _-smacks Miya over the head-_ Calm down, girl. It's all over with now.

Miyanon: _-giggles insanely-_ Yes…yes, it is. Isn't it?

B&B: _-stare-_

0000oooo0000

Vegeta saw spots flitting before his eyes from the sudden backlash of pure white. Massaging his eyes, it took a while before he could actually see straight, simply following the younger saiyajin towards his parents.

Where _was _this place?

And he wasn't exactly enthusiastic to see his parents, realizing they had both planned this whole "turn Kakarot into a girl fiasco," especially a certain royal twit who messed around in his mind. Finally his vision was coming back to him, but not soon enough to bump into Kakarot's back when she suddenly came to a stop. Squinting his eyes, the prince was able to make out a mess of people in front of him. Including two winged creatures that looked a hell of a lot like…

Vegeta's eyes went wide and he blinked at the distorted image before him. A pinch to his side didn't hurt either.

Reality confirmed. His parents were wearing white robes and had angel wings.

"!&#$&&#$" he screeched in a language neither native to Earth or Saiya.

Goku could only stare at the duo in amazement, "Wow you never told me that your parents were angels, Vegeta. I mean…isn't it kind of weird? Are you the black sheep or something?" However, her surprised subsided when she gazed more closely upon the taller, goateed saiyajin. Something about him…just made her stomach curl unpleasantly. It really didn't help that he was directly avoiding her gaze, opting to whistle and stare up at the pure blue sky.

"What the hell- Why are you dressed like that!" the prince demanded advancing upon the royal pair. "I thought you were down in-" He was immediately caught and smothered by his two heavenized parents before he could damn them. "MMmmMHHh!" His curses came out as an angry buzz as he fought to wrestle himself out of his mother's arms about his waist and the combo head-lock-face-smother that his father was pulling.

"My dear boy, whatever are you talking about?" Bejita asked with a wide, toothy grin, squeezing his son's neck even tighter. Vegeta glared at him venomously and huffed. _Fine, you old fart, I'll keep it a secret._ Upon the unspoken agreement, the king released his son and patted him on top of the head. His eyes scourged Vegeta's person, evaluating him as he stroked his goatee. "Well it's been a while since I've actually seen you in person. You seem stunted."

"WHAT! How dare you say that you- ERK!" Vegeta flailed futilely, still trapped in Queen Ruby's arms. "Mother! Release me at once!"

However, the saiyajin queen easily ignored the plea. "Veggie-chan, just indulge me a little. I haven't been able to hold you for half a century," she asked, her hands gently curling fistfuls of her son's shirt. Almost instantly, Vegeta's struggling ceased and he sighed heavily for pure show. It was…actually nice to see his parents safe and sound. And while this blaringly white place wasn't ideal, at least they were out of Hell. (Though HOW they got out was still a completely mystery to him.) Then his hard eyes set upon the people he had already noticed, but denied their existence as he was busy "meeting" his parents. Goku was already engaged in conversation with the motley lot. They included what looked like a holy host of angels who were more like whithered old bats with white wings. There was also the Grand Kai, the ruler of fighter heaven. King (North) Kai was there too, just for the hell of it.

"…through these signs, we suspect that Greater Hell and HFIL lead under Satan himself, and I don't mean Hercule, are conspiring to surmount an attack against Upper Netherworld!" King Kai finished, panting after what must have been a long, arduous explanation. Vegeta's subject merely stared at the little blue man, still in the middle of processing the overcomplicated information. Wait, something wasn't right, the prince thought, giving the group another glance. If his parents were here, then shouldn't Bardock be here as well? Why was he missing?

"I don't get it," Goku sighed, crossing her arms and tilting her head in a typical confused Son fashion. "Why does the devil need to kidnap an angel? What could that possibly accomplish?"

Kidnapping! Vegeta's eyes widened with surprise and he looked to his parents for confirmation. Their faces were solemn, though he knew saiyajin and his parents well enough to see the underlying guilt and rage. It was one of their own. And the only other one of their own that was up here was Bardock… As the realization dawned on him, the prince's face went carefully blank. He wasn't quite sure what to do first- Scream and jump for joy, or makeout with Kayka.

…Oh wait, the making out was off the list until the two settled their differences.

One of the angels began to speak. A runt of an alien, who had the letters MM strapped around his right arm. "There are four ways for the fallen angel to invade Heaven. One would be to lay siege, which is impossible and stupid since Heaven is self-contained and self-reliant. Another would be to storm Heaven by force, however our natural defenses would take millennia to work through and we'd notice it long before they'd get through. Then there's just waiting for Judgement Day, but that's a long way off and their activities seem to indicate only the short term. Forth is for Hell's legions to simply walk through the front gate."

Both Goku and Vegeta nearly jolted. Laughing lightly, Grand Kai explained the general's statement, "Angels can open the gates of Heaven to exit and enter whenever they want. They never do because they can simply travel as ethereal beings to their destinations. And frankly it's dangerous to open the gates because anything and I mean ANYTHING can get through." The fighting master stroked his long silvery beard as he continued, "Simply put, the devil can simply pluck a freshly caught angel, bedazzle the poor fool and then make him open the gate. However, there is a problem in this, because in order to make the angel open the gate willingly, Lucifer has to make him a fallen angel. This sets off a "fallen timer" when the angel transforms into a demon. Of course, that means there's a very limited time that can be used for that angel to open the gates."

"So what are we doing here then?" the prince demanded, finally peeling himself from the clingy Ruby.

"Oh, we just want you to help out when Furiza, Cell, the Ginyuu Force, and various other villains invade, such as all the evil forces that have ever existed as well as all occupants of Hell, and HFIL, and all the demons and devils and whatever else you can possibly think of," King Kai replied sarcastically.

Vegeta blinked, once, twice. "I call dibs on Furiza!" he cried at almost the exact same instant as his father, beating him by just a nanosecond.

"DAMN!" Bejita hissed, slapping a palm into his hand. _Ah well, there's always King Kold._

_Wait, does this mean I have to fight Coora AGAIN?_ Goku thought to herself, utterly amazed at the idea.

0000oooo0000

_This is ridiculous._

The army of angels and heavenly fighters armed to the teeth were simply swarmed up together, lounging as far as the eye could see in the gargantuan courtyard that lay around the gates of Heaven. Rather than a gate, it seemed like a round trapdoor surrounded by marble tiling. _It's still impressive though,_ Vegeta thought, as he stood watch (more like sat watch) over the area. If nothing else, the sheer mass of the gates would draw anyone's vision towards it, making Vegeta wonder how any normal pansy-assed angel could even nudge the thing rather than open it. Its golden representations and runes were also a sight to behold, depicting clashes between Heaven and Hell, with what looked like Enma's castle stuck in between, which inevitably was destroyed.

As impressive as the thing was, the prince was still annoyed by his situation. One – he was simply WAITING for Bardock to be corrupted, so that the saiyajin could open the door to Heaven. _At least I don't have to wait long._ Two – he was stuck keeping watch on a cloud of all things. Three – it was a two man job, so of COURSE the object of all his venom for the past day was stationed with him. Four – said object of his venom was currently laughing her ass off at his wings. Oh yeah, and Five – he had angel wings pasted to his back.

The sight of Vegeta in angel wings was almost too much for Goku to beat. However, the prince of all saiyajin could only afford her a cold look as she pounded the fluffy cloud floor in fits of laughter. _We're not friendly enough for you to mock me, _he thought at her. Obviously, she didn't feel the thought since she took only one look at Vegeta before getting even more hysterical. _They're not even real wings for gods' sakes,_ he sulked, not daring to voice his complaint aloud.

Since in wartime everyone in heaven had to have the uniform angelic white wings, _Kami no Tsubasa_ were a product of Heaven for those that didn't want to be branded with the standard wings for the rest of eternity. They looked and felt like real wings, however they had no muscle in them to attach themselves and basically mutilate the shoulder blades (assuming you had any.) Of course, regular angel-angels, like his parents now, had to get permanent wings.

Annoyingly enough, Bejita didn't react to the news as Vegeta expected (or hoped.)

'_What? They don't come off!' his mother screeched, while Vegeta was being fitted with the paper wings. _

_The king shrugged his shoulders at it. 'Oh well, can't really complain can we?' Then he ate a Philly steak and cheese sub._

To say that was anticlimactic would be a complete understatement. Apparently, getting a taste of Heaven and a lot of Hell had mellowed out his father. The thought was disturbing.

…And where in hell did he get an addiction to Philly steak and cheese?

Finally, Goku had calmed down enough to look at him at least, though her face was still quite red. Of course, the younger saiyajin looks perfect with her own paper wings. Still giggling, she wiped away the tears that had collected in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Vegeta, you look so cute." _Cute?_ "Sorry, sorry." The prince sent her a chilling glare, that instantly reminded her of their conflict. Her eyes turned away and she whispered, "Sorry."

"Hn," Vegeta snorted, turning his gaze away from her and to the golden gates below. Pursing her lips, Goku bobbed up and down on her heels as she watched the lack of activity below. After only a moment, she changed positions and flopped on her belly and watched the host of angels below, wiggling her legs up in the air. Not even five minutes after that, she flipped over and then looked at the group below from an inverted perspective. And then right after that, she - "Dammit, Kakarot! Stop moving around, you're irritating me!" the prince snapped. Goku looked up at him with a cock of the head and then bounced up to a squat.

"But I'm bored."

"I don't care," he retorted, looking away.

Goku shifted again, feeling uncomfortable suddenly. Like anxiety was squelching bubbles in her stomach. Vegeta had much too suddenly turned back to his old prickly self, the one that was around before Buu came along. And that was a bad omen, since he did betray the whole lot of them by becoming a Majin.

"…Can we talk, Vegeta?"

"Talk about what, pray tell?" the sea urchin demanded.

The younger saiyajin's mouth formed a moue of anger, seeing as Vegeta didn't want to even come to Heaven in favor of working this out. But the grimace disappeared when she remembered that this was all her fault to begin with. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you," she mumbled quietly.

"Oh? I thought you were in love with me. I thought that was a natural thing to do with someone you love and who loves you back," Vegeta spat out bitterly, not daring to look at his ally in the eye. There was no way he could face the twit now without doing SOMETHING irrational.

Again, Goku's face went red with indignation. "Vegeta! It's not that simple!"

"Aren't you the one who always says, 'Do what you feel is right?' Or are you just being a giant hypocrite!"

"So WHAT if I am! I'm allowed to make mistakes aren't I? I'm only human!"

The warrior prince flinched just in time for Goku to see that she had hit a nerve. Eyes narrow, Vegeta turned on the girl and growled in a low, quiet voice, "You are not human. And you will never be human. Stop tying to delude yourself and attempting to fit into those people's conforms."

"Why not, if it kept me from becoming like you?" the younger saiyajin hissed with a viciousness foreign to her. The prince's eyes flashed with anger and his mouth set in a tight thin line as his teeth ground together. His leather gloves squeaked as his hands fisted into tight balls. _I can't believe I just said that,_ Goku thought, surprised at her own words. _It was a stupid, awful thing to say. I should take it back._

…But she just didn't feel like it.

Without a word, Vegeta stood up and stepped off the cloud, gliding away from her. He situated himself right over the gates and merely hovered there with his back to her. _Good call, I don't want to see your sorry face either,_ Goku thought viciously, spinning around on top of her cloud and sulking.

Just a little aways, two other angels were doing their own watching duties. However, they were watching the wrong thing. "Oh for the love of-" Ruby started, glaring at the duo from her binoculars, while her mate ho-hummed by her side. "Those two are being complete numbskulls!" she ranted on. "Bejita, why don't you do something? They're your pet project aren't they?"

The king merely sighed. "I've done enough meddling. It's because of this whole mess that Bardock is in the clutches of the most evil of all things in the universe and we're just sitting here and waiting for him to be corrupted."

"Honestly, Beji-kun, you don't know whether this turning Kakarot into a girl thing is what got him kidnapped," she reasoned, though her instincts told her differently. "I mean, it's probably because Bardock didn't even want to be in Heaven in the first place, though I have no idea why. It wouldn't take long at all for him to be turned."

"Ruby, I know from first hand experience that Bardock is not a kind of saiyajin who will ever submit," Bejita huffed and took a swig of the liquor that he had at his disposal.

"…What kind of first hand experience did you have with him that involved _submitting_?" the queen demanded, suddenly very suspicious. Bejita stared at her blankly, then took another swig of his drink. _Damn, Dockers is right, you really can't get drunk here._ "Bejita, you answer me right now!"

"Honey, what's that?" the king asked suddenly, pointing over towards the gate.

"Don't you dare try to get out of this!" Ruby snapped, crossing her arms over her bosom.

"No, seriously. Look!" Despite herself, the queen glanced downwards, only to feel a dawning apprehension in her gut. Why did the golden doors look as though a sheet of gray muck had just been sloshed over them?

0000oooo0000

Bardock's tongue grazed over his growing incisors, drawing sweet, sweet blood into the back of his throat. It was a bad habit of bloodlust that saiyajin children were forced to grow out of since they could slice their tongues into ribbons when they got older. However, the former angel couldn't help himself. It probably had to do with pact with Ryuushifa, or Lucifer, that he made just a short time ago. His saiyajin bloodlust, growing even more potent. His canines resembled a carnivore's fangs. His white wings were blotched with mats of syrupy black tar. And of course he had a change in attire. Instead of the annoying gown, he was endowed with crimson and ebony armor that bore a striking resemblance to saiyajin armor. The cape was awesome though.

He knew he was just being used… But for some reason, he just didn't really care. Especially not when he was being treated like royalty, as he was being hauled in a special palanquin behind enemy lines (namely Enma's castle) up towards where the Gates of Heaven should be. No doubt that when this was all over, he was merely going to be discarded to all the rest of these wretches.

"Not necessarily, o' winged one," came a sultry hiss from his companion. A being that could easily be mistaken for a saiyajin, save for the long straight black hair that defied gravity, and the ivory, flawless skin that no warrior possessed. And of course, the lack of a tail. Really, this six-winged fallen angel bore no resemblance to the tall tales that Bardock had heard about Satan. He was definitely not a half-goat man with red skin and a serpent tail with a goatee. That sounded more like Bejita compared to this bare-faced, inhumanely good looking thing. The only thing monstrous about him were his blackish claws, his three pairs of ebony wings, and the eyes in particular.

For some reason, nothing reflected in his eyes, as though they sucked in all the light that came into them.

Plus he could read minds.

"Why do you say that?" Bardock demanded, growing itchy where Lucifer's eyes traveled.

"Saiyajin, if you're going to be a fallen angel, you have to learn some vanity," the Devil teased darkly. "I could use one such as yourself in my harem."

Just then, the saiyajin felt like vomiting. He swallowed down the acidy bile that collected up in the back of his throat and grimaced openly. "I bet you're even dirtier than all you own," he snapped, still queasy. _Hell, some blood would be good right now to wash THAT down._

Smiling, Satan didn't reply, his lightless eyes narrowing on him. In one graceful motion, far too quick for Bardock to catch, the Prince of Darkness stroked the angel's cheek. Suddenly, Bardock found it hard to breathe, while the interior of the palanquin turned even hotter than a pyroclastic surge. Insufferable chills ran up and down his body, freezing and burning him all at once. Turning to Lucifer to demand an explanation, Bardock faced the most gorgeous being he had ever seen. The heat turned even worse as his quivering eyes roamed over the prince's lithe body. _You beautiful bastard,_ the saiyajin thought, his mind suffering from lustful rage.

Without hesitation, Bardock grabbed the devil's neck and wrenched him into a hellfired kiss, his tongue groping every part of Lucifer's mouth. However, his subject became bored quickly and shoved the angel away. Instantly, every heated passion that stirred in the saiayjin's body vanished as sanity was restored in his mind.

Experimentally, Lucifer licked his upper lip where Bardock had actually bitten him in his frenzy. "Not bad," he said calmly, as though he were tasting a new wine, "but a bit aggressive."

Revulsion screamed from every bone in the saiyajin's body as he picked himself up and forced himself to face his seducer. Out of whatever favors left owed to him by God, the palanquin's motion ceased, signaling the end of the journey. Calmly, the devil stood, picking up the hem of his satin robe as he stepped out of the vessel. _"slut,"_ he hissed, as he hovered out into the air, all six of his wings bearing the brunt of his heavy vices.

Bardock punctured a hole in his tongue and blood spilled into the well of his throat and dribbled down his chin, in the desperate act of washing away all of the nauseating taste from his mouth. _I don't remember why I decided to join up with him, but it damn well better have been a good reason,_ he thought bitterly to himself as he stepped out of the palanquin.

At once he was greeted with a golden pair of doors as large as the base of a mountain. Struck dumb with seeing the Gates so close up, the saiyajin forgot about his self-disgust in favor of trying to find a way to take the entire thing in. How was he supposed to open this damn thing!

A clawed hand touched his shoulder, making him recoil. "Come on now, everyone's waiting for you."

Glancing behind him, Bardock took in the palanquin carriers, two pairs of purple bat-winged monstrosities deformed with wickedness. And just a short distance away were the front lines to an army that extended beyond the saiyajin's sight.

…He'd seen whole planets send their entire force at him before, but this was ridiculous.

"Do you think you brought enough?" he snarked saracastically. Receiving not a reply, but a shove, Bardock was faced once again with his daunting task. _I JUST have to open the gates, huh?_ he thought, scowling at the doors. There had to be some other way to do this instead of bashing his head in against the thing. Then, the angel spotted a strange mechanism in the middle of the doorway. Bardock reluctantly flew towards it. Suddenly, he was assaulted again with a suffocation and heat not unlike what he had just experienced in the palanquin.

The saiyajin sent an accusing glare back at his master. However, his thoughts were still lucid at the sight of him and he could detect no mischievousness coming from supernatural being. Turning his attention back to the doors, Bardock determined that it had to be some sort of divine power. Ironic how it felt almost identical to Lucifer's.

_So this is why you can't go anywhere near this door,_ he thought at the devil, who only confirmed his suspicions with a smirk. Having no choice but to plow through, Bardock prepared himself for the agony that awaited him.

It started as mere pinpricks, but then exponentially grew worse as he drew nearer. Hot roils oscillated through him and he had to bite his pathetic tongue again, just to keep himself from screaming in agony. It felt as though his skin was melting and he was being charbroiled alive in the rays of a white dwarf sun. Sweat and tears poured from him in rivers as he fought closer (assuming he still had skin) until finally he came to the tiny device that was killing him.

…A password lock. _A PASSWORD LOCK!_ Bardock would have screamed if he still had a functioning tongue. THIS was what had kept Lucifer at bay ever since before time even began! Any respect that the saiyajin might have had for the devil vanished completely.

USER ID:

Tempted to sigh, the angel punched in his Angel HQ issued ID. All 40 numbers and letters. _Sheesh, no wonder no one comes through this way, _Bardock thought, in spite of feeling his brain roasting inside his skull. He punched in the last code and with an air of finality, he pressed the ENTER button. All the determination that had kept him going, suddenly departed and the saiyajin's eyes rolled up into his skull as he lost consciousness. He fell from the gates of heaven, right into the awaiting arms of Lucifer.

PASSWORD ACCEPTEDPLEASE LOCK THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY IN

0000oooo0000

B&B: ………

Miyanon: Well? What did you think?

B&B: **YOU MADE US GAY, YOU CRAZY WENCH!**

Bardock: _-glares at Bejita-_ Made YOU gay? I'M the one who snogged the devil!

Bejita: That wasn't consensual! She made me imply that we had relations!

Bardock: …THAT JUST MAKES _ME_ EVEN MORE GAY!

Bejita: Hellooo Did you not see how subdued I was! You were going all macho in this chapter!

Bardock: You weren't "subdued," Ruby just has your ass whipped!

Bejita: Talk to the hand

Bardock: _-mouth gapes-_

Miyanon: Aww How cute! You guys are arguing which one of you is the more homosexual one! I admire your courage for coming out of the closet!

Bejita: …WE ARE GOING TO-

Bardock: **KILL **YOU!

Miyanon: _-coughs- _Ah well, if you don't hear from me again, it'll probably be because I've been done in by these two once and for all. Now excuse me while I run for my life. _–scampers off-_

B&B: GET BACK HERE!


End file.
